Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=bull04;44576672]Everyone goes through this phase. Hell I'm there right now, but honestly, if you feel you aren't doing enough, it may just be self doubt. Sometimes I like to get up and do something small like clean up a room or take out the trash. At least getting small things done can help with the feeling of being worth something. May I ask, what grade are you in?[/QUOTE] I can usually find stuff to do to kill time and forget everything, sometimes I even outright go to sleep while it's bright daytime. But that's not the main issue here. The main issue is that completely no one I know has same likes or hobbies as me. I can barely communicate with people who talk about normal stuff, like anything normal life related - parties, going out with someone, all that. And I'm seriously afraid for my own future right now. I truly believe that I will never find anyone who likes the same stuff I like. Forgot to mention, I'm in 10th grade.

[QUOTE=Zillamaster55;44585265]I've been slowly gaining weight again and I'm on the verge of self harm. I can't possibly gain even a pound, it's going to drive me to suicide if I go over 160 again. I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror, all I see is a fat hogbeast. Is there any way to distract myself from these feelings?[/QUOTE] 160? that sounds almost too little if you ask me! hard to tell without your height though, but I'd say you're not a fat hogbeast as you say. in comparison, I'm roughly around 200 pounds at 6'3''. not exactly happy with my body, but I'm far, far from fat. chubby at best. it sounds more of a mental thing, since I honestly doubt you're fat. maybe having a psychiatrist to talk with could help? hope you manage to sort things out!

[QUOTE=KandyMan;44586899]I can usually find stuff to do to kill time and forget everything, sometimes I even outright go to sleep while it's bright daytime. But that's not the main issue here. The main issue is that completely no one I know has same likes or hobbies as me. I can barely communicate with people who talk about normal stuff, like anything normal life related - parties, going out with someone, all that. And I'm seriously afraid for my own future right now. I truly believe that I will never find anyone who likes the same stuff I like. Forgot to mention, I'm in 10th grade.[/QUOTE] I was very much the same. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You're not them, and they're not you. You're what, 14, 15? Don't feign interest in things you don't care about, that's a waste of your time; Instead, concentrate on your own interests. Start a project related to sound engineering - it's not something unique to you, it's an entire field. If you make something you think sounds shit, keep it anyway and use it as reference for the next one. The only person you need validation from is yourself, never mind what anyone else thinks. [QUOTE=Zillamaster55;44585265]I've been slowly gaining weight again and I'm on the verge of self harm. I can't possibly gain even a pound, it's going to drive me to suicide if I go over 160 again. I can't stand seeing myself in the mirror, all I see is a fat hogbeast. Is there any way to distract myself from these feelings?[/QUOTE] In ANY case, distracting yourself is the worst possible way to deal with your problems. While you're doing so, whatever your problem is it will just grow or at best stay the same. If you want to see change, you HAVE to take action. For what it's worth, I weigh nearly 200lbs(Silly Imperial system)/90kg. I'm not happy with my body either but I know that I can change it, you can do the same with yours. How tall are you by the way? 72kg/160lbs sounds like a nominal weight, if not slightly under, depending on your height As for suicide, it's not fucking worth it. Every minute is a chance to improve yourself and your situation - if you kill yourself, you throw ALL that opportunity away.

[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;44587329]I was very much the same. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You're not them, and they're not you. You're what, 14, 15? Don't feign interest in things you don't care about, that's a waste of your time; Instead, concentrate on your own interests. Start a project related to sound engineering - it's not something unique to you, it's an entire field. If you make something you think sounds shit, keep it anyway and use it as reference for the next one. The only person you need validation from is yourself, never mind what anyone else thinks.[/QUOTE] The main issue here is I have no one to talk about my interests, in this case, videogame music. It's a huge part of my life, and completely everyone I know isn't interested in soundtracks at all, and I'm sure I won't find anyone in this world that is interested in videogame music too. And I won't even start talking about females. I don't think even any dating sites would work :V I'm also 17, but you were pretty close.

[QUOTE=KandyMan;44587856]The main issue here is I have no one to talk about my interests, in this case, videogame music. It's a huge part of my life, and completely everyone I know isn't interested in soundtracks at all, and I'm sure I won't find anyone in this world that is interested in videogame music too. And I won't even start talking about females. I don't think even any dating sites would work :V I'm also 17, but you were pretty close.[/QUOTE] You're on a forum that started because of a video game, there are a million and one people interested in game soundtracks here. As for girls, fuck them, if they're not interested in you it's a waste of time even thinking about them. Concentrate on yourself and they'll come along down the road. I'm guessing you'll be leaving school soon. If you go into higher education with regards to your interests, you'll definitely meet people with whom you have things in common. Videogame music can't be the only thing you care about, even if you think it is. You have the internet at your disposal, find more things that take your fancy to broaden the chances of finding people with common interests.

gonna need some advice and suggestions on this one after I quit my prozac I've been very exhausted, as you might know if you've read my posts in the thread. so exhausted I feel sleepy all the time, barely have the energy to walk, showering is rarely done since it requires so much energy, etc etc. I'm currently wondering if I should start taking prozac again, but I'm not so sure. personally I want to stay away from meds. it increases my anxiety and is a mental defeat if you ask me. I'm terrible at taking them as well. I'm not sure if I should go without though. this phase without the meds has been unlike anything I've ever experienced when it comes to my depression. there's absolutely no joy or energy left in me. you could almost say I'm handicapped since I'm really not capable of doing much. if I decide to not use meds I need to replace it with something to fill me with joy and energy. no clue what though. any suggestions? I know for sure I can't continue like this, so something needs to be done about this absolutely crushing depression

I like reading this thread, good feeling of solidarity.

[QUOTE=PredGD;44591447] if I decide to not use meds I need to replace it with something to fill me with joy and energy. no clue what though. any suggestions? I know for sure I can't continue like this, so something needs to be done about this absolutely crushing depression[/QUOTE] I want to say that your decision to be on or off your meds is completely yours. Just be sure to keep your mental health team informed about everything that is happening. Now to advice: The biggest and most important thing that anybody can do to help depression is exercise. It's bigger even than medicine. The HUGE problem with that is that a depressed person is a person for whom exercising is harder than it is for anybody else. My advice: Start small. There is no need to go to a gym, start a regimen, get a personal trainer, any of that. Just going outside for a walk is exercise. I realize it's not easy, and you aren't going to want to do it, and sometimes you just [I]can't[/I]. None of this makes you a failure, or lazy or horrible or anything. All it means is some times are harder than others.

I quit my favourite hobby a few weeks ago, might be a month now I can't even keep track of time anymore, I was making my dad a gift for his birthday. I just couldn't get anything right, my colours were off, my glue didn't set properly, I couldn't hold the model still enough because for some fucking reason I shake like a cannibal now. I got really upset, the worst I've been in years and I just smashed everything on my work desk, and threw everything in the garbage. I don't want to get back into it because I've just gotten progressively worse over the years.

help

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I'm a fake piece of shit that'll won't man up, and I feel like it's going to stay that way for the rest of my life.

I fucking can't seem to pronounce some words in my head properly. Do you guys get what I mean? For example if I want to pronounce the word "prices" in my head for some reason I can only pronounce it as "price". It's fucking weird.

for 4 years i've been wanting to seek help but I can't because there's literally only one place in my city of 150,000 people that accepts my insurance and you have to wait outside for hours before they open to get in and deal with the other people who are trying to get in. It's almost barbaric and I've literally seen people camp out over night just to get in. I really want to see a doctor, but it's almost impossible in my current situation. They can only take 8 people a day.

I kept forgetting to take my antidepressants over the long weekend. I'm not feeling any unwanted effects, especially some of the garbage I had to put up with ahaha. Pretty much some guy on facepunch adds me on steam and basically calls me an antifurry autistic stalker who wanted and apology for making him look bad or some crap when he made himself look bad. I couldn't take any of it seriously because after that he asked how my day was. I wasn't actually sure if it was a joke or not because he said some really serious shit about me so I asked one of his friends who was also one of my closer friends if he actually was serious. Then I got called "sorta autistic" by my friend immediately after I asked. It kinda hit me hard because he's told me a lot of his issues, which were really serious

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;44602787]I kept forgetting to take my antidepressants over the long weekend. I'm not feeling any unwanted effects, especially some of the garbage I had to put up with ahaha. [B]Pretty much some guy on facepunch adds me on steam and basically calls me an antifurry autistic stalker who wanted and apology for making him look bad or some crap when he made himself look bad. [/B]I couldn't take any of it seriously because after that he asked how my day was. I wasn't actually sure if it was a joke or not because he said some really serious shit about me so I asked one of his friends who was also one of my closer friends if he actually was serious. Then I got called "sorta autistic" by my friend immediately after I asked. It kinda hit me hard because he's told me a lot of his issues, which were really serious[/QUOTE] i think i may have a suspicion on who this guy is. if my suspicion is correct, then i kinda know him: he acts emotionally + socially immature and callous to people from what i've observed - it's pretty disgusting. you can PM me about this if you want to speak to someone

[QUOTE=Ownederd;44602820]i think i may have a suspicion on who this guy is. if my suspicion is correct, then i kinda know him: he acts emotionally + socially immature and callous to people from what i've observed - it's pretty disgusting. you can PM me about this if you want to speak to someone[/QUOTE] I've been insulted too many times I just start to not care what people think. I'm a bit disgusted that one of my close friends talked shit about me, but I got over it yesterday thanks anyways though.

i think it would be helpful to me if i posted a little update about me here. a few weeks ago i talked to my doctor and he revised my prescription - i'm now taking 20mg of citalopram each night. i've felt a much more positive difference - i feel more motivated to do my hobbies or pursue creative projects, and i feel less anxious than i've used to. i still feel anxious from time to time, but the edge isn't as bad as it was

I went to a ball yesterday and got super drunk. Both of my friends got themselves a girl, and I only got a broken phone, -10 euros, and a broken heart and no sight for future anymore. I'm doing great.

ugh, I get these thoughts in my head. I'll listen to music and think that these artists have friends. it's a stupid thing to think, because it's obvious, right? everyone has a friend or two, some has a lot of friends. I'll look out of the window and I'll see people strolling past, or children walking home from school. they have friends too. I'll talk with my only friend over the internet, and I'll think the same. he has friends too, maybe not in real life, but he has more people to rely on compared to me, right? he doesn't rely on me for social contact, unlike I. I remember thinking the same way about my ex a year ago, and during most of our relationship. I had no one but her. I relied on her for social contact, unlike her. she had friends too, while I didn't. it feels like everyone out there has a friend or two. why don't I have a friend? I honestly have no clue. it becomes a destructive relationship for me to only have a single friend. I become jealous since I know they don't have to rely on me to get their social contact. its what drove my ex away in the first place, I was jealous of her. I'm jealous of my current friend too. I haven't been up for games lately, but that's no problem for him. I can always be replaced. people still question why I miss my ex as much as I do, even a year after our break up. all I can say is that the empty space she left when she left me never got filled. no one took her space, because she was the only person I relied on. I really don't want to sound like someone who has completely given up, since I'm far from that. I'll keep working towards something better. it's hard to remain optimistic when stuff isn't too bright though... suppose there's not much I can do about the optimism yet, so it's something I'm gonna have to keep up with for now [editline]depdep[/editline] I really think being this lonely has finally gotten to me. I find myself thinking about it very often I don't want to say something over the top which won't happen any time soon, but I'm a little worried about the upcoming weeks since I've been so down lately. I really am not able to take this anymore, and the healing process is too slow. the healing process isn't able to keep up with the growing depression I feel. I feel so hopeless sometimes. I try to remain optimistic, I write optimistic and try to look positive forwards. reality feels very different, I often tear up from nothing at all. I'm out of things to do half an hour after I've woken up. I eat to cope with all this, I gain weight, it makes everything worse.

This probably sounds ridiculous, but is it normal that I constantly think about ways to hurt myself when I think back to stupid shit I did nearly a decade ago? I mean I've been out of high school for several years now and I still think about the stupid shit I did. It feels like I've hardly improved myself as a person and I feel worse everyday.

[QUOTE=Torjuz;44597467]Whats the matter?[/QUOTE] I had a pretty bad episode. Got stuck in my pit and didn't really know what to do or how to move. I'm ok now. Thanks for the concern.

Afraid that taking my anti-depressants again will just make my current illness worse. But at the same time, I'm extremely depressed because as I was finally getting my health back to normal everything goes to shit, and it coincided with my re-starting fluoxetine. I wish this could be simpler. The last 4 months have been a uphill struggle figuring out what the hell is wrong with me and finding things that help. And honestly I'm starting to lose all will to keep going. At the very least, my girlfriend is very understanding and is covering most of my expenses when I miss work, and doesn't expect anything back in return. Guess I got lucky in that department. I'd be great if I could stop being sick and I could start repaying her though.

I really don't get it. Some people keep telling me that girls are not worth it, that it's a waste of resources, etc etc, and yet I keep hearing good stuff about having a girlfriend, being happy together, all that. It seriously feels like I'm being made fun of now.

[QUOTE=KandyMan;44607074]I really don't get it. Some people keep telling me that girls are not worth it, that it's a waste of resources, etc etc, and yet I keep hearing good stuff about having a girlfriend, being happy together, all that. It seriously feels like I'm being made fun of now.[/QUOTE] don't listen to any of it. it'll happen naturally, don't make it your goal to get one

You can't go out actively looking for a girlfriend, that's not how it's done. Just be social and put yourself in situations where you meet new people and it might happen. Nobody just meets new women and immediately asks "will you be my girlfriend".

[QUOTE=Roll_Program;44607376]You can't go out actively looking for a girlfriend, that's not how it's done. Just be social and put yourself in situations where you meet new people and it might happen. Nobody just meets new women and immediately asks "will you be my girlfriend".[/QUOTE] The problem is, I am wasting pretty much all of my life home at a computer with barely any social life. I have nowhere to go and no one to go with, at least not anymore, since my friends are all busy with their newly-acquired girlfriends. And now that I think about it, the types of girls fitting for me aren't found in pubs or any more social places. And they usually succumb to the rich types of men. What should I do?

Haha. I just noticed I am the most frequent poster here. I don't have much people to talk to. Virtually all my friends are hardasses.

I just wanna dig my grave at this point, nothing in my life is worth living for at this point. I don't know what to do, and one of my friends reacted that I'm really angry and sad, but has enough to think about. Fuck my life, I'm getting gradually less positive about things going to be better. My family is at a breaking point where my mum wants terminated her sister which comes to my grandparents to get money and goods when they die, my "friend" goes around being mad because I'm mad at her for ruining my life and then expecting I'll be super happy when she does the "have to cheer you up" trick, which makes me feel like an asshole, my bandmates are talking shit because I wanted to make a medley to play in a compotition with songs from one of my favorite band, so now I feel like I haven't accomplished anything during this 18 years, only to ruin for everyone and making them feel bad that I have it bad... Sorry for venting like shit, but it helps a little bit to talk about it, and at this point I barely trust people, not even my family teach into my soul anymore, it's just a huge pile of black coal.

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