Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=KandyMan;44612055]The problem is, I am wasting pretty much all of my life home at a computer with barely any social life. I have nowhere to go and no one to go with, at least not anymore, since my friends are all busy with their newly-acquired girlfriends. And now that I think about it, the types of girls fitting for me aren't found in pubs or any more social places. And they usually succumb to the rich types of men. What should I do?[/QUOTE] I've kept to something I'd consider a nice way of thinking. I never think backwards, nor forwards, I live a lot in "right now". stuff is pretty tough, but it helps to not think forward. right now I'm focused on doing what I can to make sure things get better for me, which is to exercise and push myself. the moment I can get outside without issue, then the next step begins. no clue what that is yet, but that'll come to me naturally once I get there, most of the time. there has been times where I've had to really think stuff through to figure out what bothers me though, but as soon as the source of the problem has been found it should be easy enough to figure out what to do to help with the problem. it's important to stop thinking about everyone around you. let that wait until you've learned to "love yourself". do what you can do help with your self esteem if that's the issue for example. don't like your body because overweight? then you should focus on getting down in weight, etc etc. [editline]23rd April 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Torjuz;44622885]I just wanna dig my grave at this point, nothing in my life is worth living for at this point. I don't know what to do, and one of my friends reacted that I'm really angry and sad, but has enough to think about. Fuck my life, I'm getting gradually less positive about things going to be better. My family is at a breaking point where my mum wants terminated her sister which comes to my grandparents to get money and goods when they die, my "friend" goes around being mad because I'm mad at her for ruining my life and then expecting I'll be super happy when she does the "have to cheer you up" trick, which makes me feel like an asshole, my bandmates are talking shit because I wanted to make a medley to play in a compotition with songs from one of my favorite band, so now I feel like I haven't accomplished anything during this 18 years, only to ruin for everyone and making them feel bad that I have it bad... Sorry for venting like shit, but it helps a little bit to talk about it, and at this point I barely trust people, not even my family teach into my soul anymore, it's just a huge pile of black coal.[/QUOTE] maybe trying to focus on yourself could help some with your issues as well? it can really become cluttered up in a persons head when people around you plus yourself have issues.

I nearly lost it when I was sent to a therapist, and I don't want to be considered a psychopath by my friends... And I've hidden it from my family because there is so much going in my family as mentioned.

I don't know what's gotten into me. I tend to complain about everyone someone talks to me about as a subject. There is always something for me to complain about :/ I also don't know why whenever I open my mouth (Or in most cases, post a comment on a friend's status), those who hate me jump to conclusions and pull me down whenever I have a voice, an opinion or an experience. They think what they know is "right" about my life and what I know is "wrong"... In other words, I'm also not allowed an opinion according to most people, when in fact everyone is entitled to one. I can't even breathe without pissing at least one person off. And people from the past always wondered why I was always quiet around them :v: I don't even know what I have done wrong to cause all of this hate and anger towards me. As far as I know, I have done nothing and my ex is just spreading shit about me as usual. At times I just feel like giving up. Can't wait to move off of this tiny island and start a new life on a new page.

Whenever I get really down in the dumps sometimes I find if I take my anger out on people it makes me feel better, relieves my stress and as bad as it is to say it also kind of gives me a kick out of it. Does anyone else experience this? I feel like a terrible human being.

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;44631701]Whenever I get really down in the dumps sometimes I find if I take my anger out on people it makes me feel better, relieves my stress and as bad as it is to say it also kind of gives me a kick out of it. Does anyone else experience this? I feel like a terrible human being.[/QUOTE] Have the same problem, had a human-ragdoll friend but I eventually started to box in my gymhall. I have the opposite that I give everyone hugs, because I care about them and need it for myself.

[QUOTE=KandyMan;44607074]I really don't get it. Some people keep telling me that girls are not worth it, that it's a waste of resources, etc etc, and yet I keep hearing good stuff about having a girlfriend, being happy together, all that. It seriously feels like I'm being made fun of now.[/QUOTE] I've been reading through your posts here, and in my (non-professional) opinion (based solely on some posts you made on the internet and in no way can honestly reflect the true 'you' and is therefore likely to be at least partially inaccurate in at least some way), I feel as though the root of your issue may be that you simply hate yourself. You talk about how no one shares your interests and hobbies, and how this negatively affects you, instead of providing focus to the positive aspects your own, personal interests and hobbies bring to your life. Again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this provides an interesting view of your priorities. You care less about your own hobbies, you care less about sound engineering, less about video game music, than you do about how [b]others[/b] feel about them, how they feel about you. It's like your own interest in the subjects isn't enough to validate them; you need someone else to tell you that it's good and okay. It seems to me that you've adopted a perspective that makes you dependent on other people for happiness and validation. Which, makes sense, and is normal. Well, normal enough that I can at least say I went through something like this too when I was in grade school. :v: I mean, from a conjectural standpoint, it doesn't even seem far-fetched that the grade-school environment could raise people to believe that others need to tell them that they're worth anything. From the beginning, we're "failures" unless our teachers hand us back good grades. We're constantly subjected to comparison with our fellow classmates, not just by the teachers' grades, but from the socially competitive and harsh culture that pervades most schools. If I'm honest, it's entirely possible that I am simply biased towards this conclusion that you've become dependent on others for happiness, given that I went through that myself. Took me months of teary-eyed, sleepless nights and two different medications to finally figure out why I was always so miserable, being a student in a technical school with friends and a family that is miraculously functional and healthy, compared to my peers. So, before I put you to sleep here with my life story, lemme go back to you. I can safely say that, if you feel that your interests are 'weird' or somehow worth less because no one shares them with you- and, by extension, that you aren't worth a damn thing unless other people like you, then do whatever you can to free yourself of that attitude. The cold, hard truth is that no one will like you until [b]you[/b] like yourself. If people seem put off by you, it has nothing to do with being "that kid who listens to videogame music", it has to do with [i]your shame[/i] regarding videogame music. They might not like to discuss it with you because, instead of expressing what you enjoy about different tracks, articulating what speaks to you, and expressing your passion, you instead play it off as "dumb" and shrink away and expressively admit defeat when they don't like it. Shit dude, everyone is entitled to an opinion, some people won't like what you like. That's a fact of life. You just can't act like you have something to be ashamed of. You know why? Because people can see it. When they see you act like you're hiding something embarrassing and dumb, they will assume that's because it is actually embarrassing and dumb. Assuming you're actually still reading this long-ass post (:v:), I just want to add that, it's not going to be easy. Maybe it might sound like it should be from my previous paragraph, but like I said, I went through this myself, and it's [i]truly not at all remotely easy[/i]. I wasn't able to break free of the smog of anxiety and self-doubt that squeezed all good judgement and confidence from me like some sort of metaphorical smog-based orange juicer without the assistance of [b]two[/b] psychological medications (Vyvanse and Fluoxetine) and weekly therapist sessions. Hell, I'm still on these things. I simply could not view the world around me clearly with my mind trapped by those self-perpetuating feelings of anxiety and doubt. Even if I'm off the mark here somehow, you wouldn't be here unless something's got you so upset you can't function right or solve the problem on your own. Maybe you can't solve your problems on your own. Join the club, dude. Don't let yourself feel ashamed for seeking psychiatric help if you need it- the only thing you could possibly be ashamed of is [i]not[/i] seeking help when it can so vastly improve your quality of life. It's not about "fixing something that's wrong about you", it's about [b]using the resources at your disposal to improve your quality of life as much as you want to.[/b] If anyone ever tells you that going to a therapist or taking meds means you're "crazy" or "weak-willed", please tell them on my behalf to get fucked by a cactus. Thanks to the help that I got, I can say in full honesty that I am the happiest I've been in a long, long time- and I have few friends, I don't go out much, spend a lot of time on the internet, play a lot of videogames, am currently stuck in educational limbo between majors, and work a job bagging groceries for minimum wage. It doesn't matter anymore, because I just enjoy what I have in life. If that means I'm crazy and weak-willed, well, after they pull the cactus out of their assholes, they ought to give it a try themselves. tl;dr- Don't let other people decide what you're worth. Value is a made-up human concept that doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme. Have fun, love what you like about yourself, fix what you don't, use whatever means to do so. Psychiatric assistance is great, and I honestly can say I don't think I've met a single person who wouldn't benefit in at least some small way from general counseling. [editline]25th April 2014[/editline] Holy shit look at all that, sorry about writing a whole fucking thesis. I blame my strong feelings on the subject.

I've spent the last five years or so feeling either nothing or anxiety, with maybe 10 seconds of happiness (or what I assume is happiness) every few weeks. For the last few years I've been telling myself that if I give in, if I let myself believe I have a problem, I'll just give up trying and blame my lack of motivation on a mental illness I might not even have. I think I need help, although I don't want to give in. But things have been getting worse.

What a disaster this year has been. Especially this month. This year I discovered I'm balding, I'm starting to get some serious wrinkles in my eyes, people have been seriously fucking with me, I lost a friend, and just today someone threatened to do something with my personal info (Full name, Phone Number, ect).

does anyone have any experience with lexapro? that's what i got put on last week and i'm just wondering how other people have taken to it. they say it takes 2 - 3 weeks to actually take effect or so but i'm having a hard time sleeping already. i don't know if it's caused by it but it the internet says insomnia is one of the side effects. is it common for the side effects like insomnia and nausea (which i've been getting a bit of) to get felt before the actual anti depression and anxiety part comes in or is it just placebo? [editline]26th April 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Ziks;44645287]I've spent the last five years or so feeling either nothing or anxiety, with maybe 10 seconds of happiness (or what I assume is happiness) every few weeks. For the last few years I've been telling myself that if I give in, if I let myself believe I have a problem, I'll just give up trying and blame my lack of motivation on a mental illness I might not even have. I think I need help, although I don't want to give in. But things have been getting worse.[/QUOTE] if you've been like that for five years then i'd say you should go see your gp about it. as much as you shouldn't self diagnose, you should also not brush things off if it is affecting your life. it's not giving in. it's just you seeing if there might be other underlying issues under what seems to be a consistent state of apathy or anxiety. don't think it's you saying, "oh well, my lack of motivation is not my fault it's just cos of a mental illness" cos it's not that, man. you don't want things to get worse and going to see your doctor or a specialist or whatever is a good way to get out of a state of stagnation if that's what you're worried about. you don't gotta feel bad about any of it. i may be projecting alot here :P [editline]26th April 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;44647279]What a disaster this year has been. Especially this month. This year I discovered I'm balding, I'm starting to get some serious wrinkles in my eyes, people have been seriously fucking with me, I lost a friend, and just today someone threatened to do something with my personal info (Full name, Phone Number, ect).[/QUOTE] apparently there's a lot of stuff for balding these days man! don't get in the dumps cos of that! look up propecia or the other stuff but don't go letting natural physiology get in the way of your life activities. also james franco has lots of wrinkles around his eyes and he's sexy as fukc. you shouldn't worry about that stuff at all! :)

[QUOTE=Leader of Me;44631701]Whenever I get really down in the dumps sometimes I find if I take my anger out on people it makes me feel better, relieves my stress and as bad as it is to say it also kind of gives me a kick out of it. Does anyone else experience this? I feel like a terrible human being.[/QUOTE] I do that too, and I know I shouldn't do it and it's not their faults. But bad people get away with everything and good people go through more shit than good things. Many friends hate me now and spread shit, and I keep thinking to myself "You know what? Fuck this, I wonder if I should turn bad in order to get some good out of life for a change?"

i really liked this line from the dharma bums by jack kerouac which i always try to remember when i think someone is a bad person and want to be rude to them, " ' I sit down and say, and I run all my friends and relatives and enemies one by one in this, without entertaining any angers or gratitudes or anything, and I say, like ' Japhy Ryder, equally empty, equally to be loved, equally a coming Buddha,'... " it's a good way to keep conscious of the idea that people change. that there is retribution for even the slimiest of personalities. also that all things are mostly sculptured by exterior forces so you shouldn't hate their insides too much. they're just products of other harsh things and if you be a dick to people, even if they're dicks, you're just letting yourself get moulded, too, by negative outside things man.

apparently I'm meeting my friend next week on Thursday. that's cool, the hitch is that her ex / boyfriend, no clue what at the moment, lives there currently and will be there too. I know the guy and he's cool, have had a good time the little time we've spent together. the scary part is that I don't know her or him all that well, but they know each other really well. I'm not sure if I'm ready for social encounters like these, but turning down the offer wouldn't exactly help when it comes to how terrible and scared I currently am at socializing. been trying to think if I should or not. I feel like I should, but I don't feel prepared for such a thing just yet. been following the "love yourself before anyone gets to love you" religiously, and maybe making new friends is horrifying for me. the logical answer is yes, but the emotional answer is flat out no. I feel like I'll make myself an ass or be a third wheel if they're actually together. I might just be over thinking it, but what if it happens? there's always a possibility things will go well, and same goes the opposite way too. being thrown into a social situation like this when I haven't been properly social for half a year, let alone had friends for an entire year, is pretty scary. I keep thinking that I must, for the sake of my own mental health. and that's true, really. if I want to improve, I have to push myself at every opportunity. I know her ex better than her, so maybe it'll go okay. might be a doorway into knowing her better too, as well as improving my relations with him as well, and bam, I may have entered a new social circle?

I just cut for the first time. I know you're all gonna say it's pussy shit because honestly it's just a few small scratches from a regular razor and they're not long or deep and they're on the back of my wrist. But I still did it even though I said to myself "this is dumb you don't even feel sad right now why are you doing this don't be stupid." I don't even know why I did it. I've been on antidepressants for a few weeks now and they seemed to be doing a good job of making me not feel sad but I guess that didn't stop me hm

[QUOTE=Clovernoodle;44656622]I just cut for the first time. I know you're all gonna say it's pussy shit because honestly it's just a few small scratches from a regular razor and they're not long or deep and they're on the back of my wrist. But I still did it even though I said to myself "this is dumb you don't even feel sad right now why are you doing this don't be stupid." I don't even know why I did it. I've been on antidepressants for a few weeks now and they seemed to be doing a good job of making me not feel sad but I guess that didn't stop me hm[/QUOTE] one of the worst things about cutting is that scars are a shitty conversation topic and it will be one when people start noticing them. you say you dont know why you did it. do you mean you were sort of in a numbed state of mind and apathetic about everything or? cos that stuff is as shitty as being depressed and can cause people to do all sorts of bad stuff. you should talk to your doctor or councillor or whoever gives you anti-depressents about it. just remember that self inflicted scars are not very attractive and make for awkward conversations - no matter how old they are. a few small scratches wont make scars and that's good. but you don't wanna be building up to more serious cuts. stay safe :)

I have returned to FP after months of not visiting due to anxiety so I guess I can admit I have very bad anxiety issues, which involve the terribly annoying, irritating, frequent intrusive thoughts that don't seem to leave ever which also persist as I type this Basically I have OCD that is everchanging, but right now I suffer from thinking too much of things, people, situations that make me uncomfortable/angry... it's awful. I can't focus on anything I want to do because I refuse to do it if I'm preoccupied of thinking of the fucking twats I want to slaughter I went to a doc once and was prescribed hydroxyzine but was too stubborn with my own pride to not get them at all. That and, ironically, five years ago when the symptoms of when my twist in mentality became clear, I wanted nothing to do with drugs. Now that I try them, I don't even like their effect (though I have not tried many at all)... also should mention I may be depressed, but not the sad or destructive kind. The kind where I simply do not give a single fuck about much any more, essentially numbed and too bothered by my constant reel of bad memories that I can't get rid of. So hello fellow crooked folk, this is my issue. Hope you guys are doing well yourselves.

Checked in to the doctor last Thursday. Things have been up and down like crazy these past few days for me. The doctor prescribed me Sertraline and Lamotrigine to take in tandem. Apparently I have bipolar depressive disorder. The doctor also told me that it was pretty bad. Since then, the pills have had little effect so far. They're supposed to take a week to two weeks to kick in, so I should feel something then, but for now it's been average lately. My doctor told me to take 25mg of the 50mg Sertraline I was prescribed, but yesterday I took 50mg to see what it'd do to me. Nothing really drastic happened so I'd say it was because the pills haven't kicked in a bunch yet. Will post results as they come along on this thread.

[QUOTE=Raxas;44643445]I've been reading through your posts here, and in my (non-professional) opinion (based solely on some posts you made on the internet and in no way can honestly reflect the true 'you' and is therefore likely to be at least partially inaccurate in at least some way), I feel as though the root of your issue may be that you simply hate yourself. You talk about how no one shares your interests and hobbies, and how this negatively affects you, instead of providing focus to the positive aspects your own, personal interests and hobbies bring to your life. Again, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this provides an interesting view of your priorities. You care less about your own hobbies, you care less about sound engineering, less about video game music, than you do about how [b]others[/b] feel about them, how they feel about you. It's like your own interest in the subjects isn't enough to validate them; you need someone else to tell you that it's good and okay. It seems to me that you've adopted a perspective that makes you dependent on other people for happiness and validation. Which, makes sense, and is normal. Well, normal enough that I can at least say I went through something like this too when I was in grade school. :v: I mean, from a conjectural standpoint, it doesn't even seem far-fetched that the grade-school environment could raise people to believe that others need to tell them that they're worth anything. From the beginning, we're "failures" unless our teachers hand us back good grades. We're constantly subjected to comparison with our fellow classmates, not just by the teachers' grades, but from the socially competitive and harsh culture that pervades most schools. If I'm honest, it's entirely possible that I am simply biased towards this conclusion that you've become dependent on others for happiness, given that I went through that myself. Took me months of teary-eyed, sleepless nights and two different medications to finally figure out why I was always so miserable, being a student in a technical school with friends and a family that is miraculously functional and healthy, compared to my peers. So, before I put you to sleep here with my life story, lemme go back to you. I can safely say that, if you feel that your interests are 'weird' or somehow worth less because no one shares them with you- and, by extension, that you aren't worth a damn thing unless other people like you, then do whatever you can to free yourself of that attitude. The cold, hard truth is that no one will like you until [b]you[/b] like yourself. If people seem put off by you, it has nothing to do with being "that kid who listens to videogame music", it has to do with [i]your shame[/i] regarding videogame music. They might not like to discuss it with you because, instead of expressing what you enjoy about different tracks, articulating what speaks to you, and expressing your passion, you instead play it off as "dumb" and shrink away and expressively admit defeat when they don't like it. Shit dude, everyone is entitled to an opinion, some people won't like what you like. That's a fact of life. You just can't act like you have something to be ashamed of. You know why? Because people can see it. When they see you act like you're hiding something embarrassing and dumb, they will assume that's because it is actually embarrassing and dumb. Assuming you're actually still reading this long-ass post (:v:), I just want to add that, it's not going to be easy. Maybe it might sound like it should be from my previous paragraph, but like I said, I went through this myself, and it's [i]truly not at all remotely easy[/i]. I wasn't able to break free of the smog of anxiety and self-doubt that squeezed all good judgement and confidence from me like some sort of metaphorical smog-based orange juicer without the assistance of [b]two[/b] psychological medications (Vyvanse and Fluoxetine) and weekly therapist sessions. Hell, I'm still on these things. I simply could not view the world around me clearly with my mind trapped by those self-perpetuating feelings of anxiety and doubt. Even if I'm off the mark here somehow, you wouldn't be here unless something's got you so upset you can't function right or solve the problem on your own. Maybe you can't solve your problems on your own. Join the club, dude. Don't let yourself feel ashamed for seeking psychiatric help if you need it- the only thing you could possibly be ashamed of is [i]not[/i] seeking help when it can so vastly improve your quality of life. It's not about "fixing something that's wrong about you", it's about [b]using the resources at your disposal to improve your quality of life as much as you want to.[/b] If anyone ever tells you that going to a therapist or taking meds means you're "crazy" or "weak-willed", please tell them on my behalf to get fucked by a cactus. Thanks to the help that I got, I can say in full honesty that I am the happiest I've been in a long, long time- and I have few friends, I don't go out much, spend a lot of time on the internet, play a lot of videogames, am currently stuck in educational limbo between majors, and work a job bagging groceries for minimum wage. It doesn't matter anymore, because I just enjoy what I have in life. If that means I'm crazy and weak-willed, well, after they pull the cactus out of their assholes, they ought to give it a try themselves. tl;dr- Don't let other people decide what you're worth. Value is a made-up human concept that doesn't mean anything in the grand scheme. Have fun, love what you like about yourself, fix what you don't, use whatever means to do so. Psychiatric assistance is great, and I honestly can say I don't think I've met a single person who wouldn't benefit in at least some small way from general counseling. [editline]25th April 2014[/editline] Holy shit look at all that, sorry about writing a whole fucking thesis. I blame my strong feelings on the subject.[/QUOTE] [B]Listen to this man[/B] [editline]28th April 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;44652441]apparently I'm meeting my friend next week on Thursday. that's cool, the hitch is that her ex / boyfriend, no clue what at the moment, lives there currently and will be there too. I know the guy and he's cool, have had a good time the little time we've spent together. the scary part is that I don't know her or him all that well, but they know each other really well. I'm not sure if I'm ready for social encounters like these, but turning down the offer wouldn't exactly help when it comes to how terrible and scared I currently am at socializing. been trying to think if I should or not. I feel like I should, but I don't feel prepared for such a thing just yet. been following the "love yourself before anyone gets to love you" religiously, and maybe making new friends is horrifying for me. the logical answer is yes, but the emotional answer is flat out no. I feel like I'll make myself an ass or be a third wheel if they're actually together. I might just be over thinking it, but what if it happens? there's always a possibility things will go well, and same goes the opposite way too. being thrown into a social situation like this when I haven't been properly social for half a year, let alone had friends for an entire year, is pretty scary. I keep thinking that I must, for the sake of my own mental health. and that's true, really. if I want to improve, I have to push myself at every opportunity. I know her ex better than her, so maybe it'll go okay. might be a doorway into knowing her better too, as well as improving my relations with him as well, and bam, I may have entered a new social circle?[/QUOTE] From this and your other posts, I see you've got the right idea. Do it. Whether or not you think it went well, you don't have anything to lose. If you do this, it'll be easier with the next social opportunity (Which you should start generating yourself).

I think I don't need my meds anymore. I did a stupid thing by forgetting to take my prescribed medication for a few days and the effects wasn't really noticeable. I'm taking the prescribed amount for now.

I don't know if this will help anyone out, but recently I realized when I'm listening to music my social anxiety is a lot better. Only realized this because recently I was somewhere public and crowded without it and I started freaking out. Might be worth a shot if you're dealing with social anxiety.

[QUOTE=PredGD;44604094]ugh, I get these thoughts in my head. I'll listen to music and think that these artists have friends. it's a stupid thing to think, because it's obvious, right? everyone has a friend or two, some has a lot of friends. I'll look out of the window and I'll see people strolling past, or children walking home from school. they have friends too. I'll talk with my only friend over the internet, and I'll think the same. he has friends too, maybe not in real life, but he has more people to rely on compared to me, right? he doesn't rely on me for social contact, unlike I. I remember thinking the same way about my ex a year ago, and during most of our relationship. I had no one but her. I relied on her for social contact, unlike her. she had friends too, while I didn't. it feels like everyone out there has a friend or two. why don't I have a friend? I honestly have no clue. it becomes a destructive relationship for me to only have a single friend. I become jealous since I know they don't have to rely on me to get their social contact. its what drove my ex away in the first place, I was jealous of her. I'm jealous of my current friend too. I haven't been up for games lately, but that's no problem for him. I can always be replaced. people still question why I miss my ex as much as I do, even a year after our break up. all I can say is that the empty space she left when she left me never got filled. no one took her space, because she was the only person I relied on. I really don't want to sound like someone who has completely given up, since I'm far from that. I'll keep working towards something better. it's hard to remain optimistic when stuff isn't too bright though... suppose there's not much I can do about the optimism yet, so it's something I'm gonna have to keep up with for now [editline]depdep[/editline] I really think being this lonely has finally gotten to me. I find myself thinking about it very often I don't want to say something over the top which won't happen any time soon, but I'm a little worried about the upcoming weeks since I've been so down lately. I really am not able to take this anymore, and the healing process is too slow. the healing process isn't able to keep up with the growing depression I feel. I feel so hopeless sometimes. I try to remain optimistic, I write optimistic and try to look positive forwards. reality feels very different, I often tear up from nothing at all. I'm out of things to do half an hour after I've woken up. I eat to cope with all this, I gain weight, it makes everything worse.[/QUOTE] Wow, you posted pretty much exactly what my life has been like the past 10 months. I moved from Canada to Texas, and I've been incredibly lonely. Broke up with my ex, and I was pretty reliant on her as my 'support' but still stayed best friends with her, which I think caused me more anguish than anything especially after she got a boyfriend. I feel like no one has time for me anymore, and I can't fault those back home because they're busy with school/work and their lives to keep in contact very often. I feel so disconnected from everything, and this sense of loneliness has been driving me insane. It's not even for a lack of trying, I just haven't met people I actually like or connect with. I'm trying to absorb myself with hobbies, but nothing seems to work. I just want to stop waking up in the morning with an empty/sinking feeling and going to bed feeling the same way.

[QUOTE=KandyMan;44612055]The problem is, I am wasting pretty much all of my life home at a computer with barely any social life. I have nowhere to go and no one to go with, at least not anymore, since my friends are all busy with their newly-acquired girlfriends. And now that I think about it, the types of girls fitting for me aren't found in pubs or any more social places. And they usually succumb to the rich types of men. What should I do?[/QUOTE] Actually this isn't gonna be about the girls, but let me tell you one thing. When we previously talked, you said you couldn't do anything. Now you say you're interested in sound engineering. Cheer up. You're doing something new. It's not like you're sitting in a room 24/7 wasting your life, you're doing something. Now, about the girls. Let me tell you one thing: it's nearly impossible to get into a serious relationship at this age, and it looks like something you're aiming for. Teenage girls will automatically target those, who give them [B]attention[/B]. Those, with whom you can talk and relieve some of the shit in their life. If you can fill in that place, I'm sure you'll find that "special somebody", but as I said, relationships in this age tend to be really unstable, so don't dream about a girlfriend... yet.

I want to die but I don't want to drag my girlfriend down with me.. I'm so, deeply sad and twisted up in a million knots in my head and stomach and heart that I can barely handle living. I'm a failure and I'm so demotivated. I pretend to be happy and keep a positive persona on to the point I don't know what I'm feeling anymore. I have such a sorrowful, gaping hole in my heart and that hollow feeling in the back of my head. I have to force myself to do anything.. I haven't had sex in weeks, I give it to her but I cannot get off because I feel so fucking grey and miserable. But I WANT and NEED to make her happy. I don't feel like I belong in this world anymore. I don't think I ever have. I think the only reason I belong is to help others, but how can I do that if I can barely help myself now?

Turns out it wasn't anemia. Rather [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serotonin_syndrome"]serotonin syndrome[/URL]. I'm better now, but I'm back to being depressed, and now I'm afraid of taking anti-depressants incase it happens again. 'sgreat. Weather is shit so I can't ride my bike to take my mind off of things/not feel lazy. I also got a $700 fine that I shouldn't have gotten. Additionally, one of my friends is changing for worse. Of course there's nothing I can do about it because she's stuck in her echo chamber. It's just sad watching it happen. I don't even know why I keep my facebook account. There's probably 2-3 people on there that I actually give a fuck about nowadays. I either go on there and get depressed because people are moving ahead with their lives and enjoying themselves, or I get depressed because they've gone absolutely crazy and antagonistic, and are getting away with it because people keep reinforcing their shit. Hell I didn't even want to make a facebook page back in 2009; I was practically forced into making one by my now girlfriend. Some days I wonder how much better my life would be if I just shut myself off from the internet, escape all this negative bullshit and not have to worry about everything around me. But then I remember that my life is pretty much defined by the internet. Without the internet I would be sitting around in my living room wondering why I haven't offed myself yet. I've got nothing else.

Man I almost typed up a paragraph post here but I realised how weak it would make me look. I would talk to someone but like I said before I think my friends are hardasses. I used to have people to talk to but each of them I don't talk to anymore because they've said dumb shit and/or they hinder more than help.

I don't like working at WalMart. I mean, I can try and do better shit but it never works out. At least the lack of friends makes the routine easier. You're never late for work and your weekends are always open.

had a first breakup last Friday, sorta sucked. I felt so lost and down, teenage years man, she said it was her parents. Though if she really loved me she would have stayed with me, is what people tell me. Broke up with me in front of a bunch of people, sucked alot, then started playing the avoid me games, which made it 10x worse. I wish it could have worked, I felt like we worked..but she's twisted in the head. It didn't help that my parent passed away on the same day too..I felt like human beings as a whole have lost their ways in regards to respect and love, and that we will just grow DEEPER into this pit of immaturity with society..

Removed.

Sorry but I have to vent because of shit goin on in my life at this point. My life is pretty unstable at this point, there is a lot of problems in the local band where I proposed to write an piece to a entertainment concert this November. And now coming up is 17. May, the Norwegian National day where I play drums with another band. One of the drummers in the band is constantly flinging shit about me when I try to help the one kid that is stuck back there with this guy and his father, and they act like twins that have everything under control so they never show up to the practice so this guy is lost and don't know what to play. And the project I started on and probably used like around 100 hours now is getting stamped as bullcrap, because he doesn't like me. It makes me really sad because this is basicly the only thing I care about in my life at this point so trying to stay focused during this, exams, tests everyday is nearly killing me. And to top it off, the conductors (yes, plural), can never get around to a comprimise and keeps holding the other down, and I care to much for both of them. I wish I just could die right now, because life is so fucking horrible at this point. My life is already down the dump, and now I'm just getting hit by everyone it seems like. I just want to make something that people can enjoy, why do one guy have to ruin this? I'm such a fucking crybaby now but it's upsetting me so much that I can sleep or focus at this point.

[QUOTE=Psygo;44747055]so my girlfriend recently read some papers about her past, and ever since she's just been so gone and so down constantly, does anyone know how I can support her? I'm really stupid when it comes to this so I have no clue.[/QUOTE] Listen to her. Assure her that YOU want her to tell you how she feels. Recognize her problem as a real problem, and communicate that validation to her. Empathize with her situation, and assure her that you'll be there for her, and will continue to be there, because YOU [i]want[/i] to help her. You may not even have to present solutions. Sometimes, simply having someone who listens and understands, even perhaps silently, can make a world of difference.

I got quite a serious problem - started when i had 2 joints then progressed into some serious anxiety and panic attacks currently i feel detached from reality and tend to have hallucinations such as being stabbed in the back someone drilling a hole in my head and having a point of a knife scratching the bottom of my foot and the visual effects i see is 2D images coming to life and my view going up as i feel i am going lower it has made me pretty aggressive too feel like having adrenaline rushes and i don't feel pain could this be a sign of psychosis ?