Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=PredGD;45034927]I hate to say it and it feels weird, but logically speaking, why do I even bother going on?[/QUOTE] I'm in a similar situation, in fact I'm in the exact same situation come to think of it. When I ask myself why continue, I tell myself because people care about me. And they do, just like I'm sure people care about you too, even if its one person, it still counts. I myself find that sometimes, I have to be strong for others, though that's not what I'm suggesting, as you need to focus on yourself in this situation. Raxas makes a good point about getting out for small reasons, that's exactly how I overcame my [i]crippling[/i] anxiety when I was younger. I'd go to the store, or I'd just go outside and watch the world move by. And that's what I need to do now to get out of this funk I'm in. There are also plenty of people here you can talk to, especially in this thread, that feel the same way or are experiencing the same things. Doing that counts as taking a step in the right direction, because you're stepping outside of your comfort zone to relate to others. You should give yourself more credit for doing that. And the being constantly bored and wanting to sleep more, totally there. I end up giving in and taking naps during the day rather than face the boredom, but I do have things such as games and music that keep me positive. Music especially keeps me positive, just listening to different bands, making playlists on Spotify, things of that nature. Little things, as Raxas also pointed out. And though we can't really tell you what to do or how to do it, just know that you're not alone and there are people who can relate to you. Keep going on, even though it can be agonizing at times, it does make you stronger, and it does get easier to cope.

I've been deceiving myself for years into thinking that I'd ever have a chance with a friend, but I guess I'm just not her type. Tonight, I just give up. Two whole years of an emotional rollercoaster, where my self-worth was judged by how much she interacted with me, and I haven't accomplished shit. I'm a fucking liar, and a shitty ass friend.

I'm having trouble sleeping at night. Have an ACT coming next week and i am so stressed out that i can't even focus enough to study for it. I really don't want to fuck this up because my only chance at going to college depends on it. I've been stressed like this since i graduated a few weeks ago.

My birthday was pretty good. Got a couple of nice presents (new phone, salt lamp) and a jacket (which will keep me warm in winter). My friend still isn't talking to me really, but she's snapchatting me, so I guess she's just sick of steam or videogames or something. I can live with that. Just knowing she's not mad at me gives me enough peace of mind. It's also abso-fucking-lutely freezing at the moment. No way I'm gonna get on my bike and do any exercise at this rate. Been pretty motivated though lately in doing stuff around the house. Managed to get a whole lot done today. And I can think much better now. This alone was my biggest gripe that accompanied my encephalitis, because I've always been a creative person; constantly imagining things, making up stories, drawing and (ashamedly) talking to myself. Losing that really fucked me up in the depression department. Being able to at least think somewhat clearly now is pushing my mood forward, and means I can get to sleep much easier without me staring at my ceiling for an hour. Mentally, I'd say I'm at 80% what I used to be. I can do the things I used to do, but I'm still not as fast as I was. But progress is progress.

I'm a homosexual and I'm questioning homosexuality. Sometimes I think it's a disorder or a result of some sort of disorder.

a few hours ago, my sister sat down in the couch talking to somebody on the phone. I thought nothing of it, and 10 minutes later she burst out crying. "what do you guys want from me?" "I'll behave, just please", etc. she cried for a good 30 minutes and I had no clue what to do. I'm super worried she has gotten into a group of friends who aren't treating her right and are bullying her. it really sounded like from a movie, so maybe it's just teenage drama but I don't know. it does sound serious, and I really hope that what I fear isn't the case. personally I've fallen further down than usual. I'm completely exhausted on energy, and I wish I did something about it, yet I'm too tired. like you guys said, it's important to focus on the smaller things to make the tasks more digestible, but where do I begin? I've been thinking of taking a walk with my psychologist on Thursday, and I'm super anxious as it's during the day. won't make progress without doing stuff I don't want to do though... I was recently told to increase my anti-depressant dosage too. I begun with 25mg, increased to 50mg and now I'm at 75mg. might increase to 100mg, but my doctor wants to see how I deal with 75mg first. I feel like I'm in a weird limbo with my situation. I want to improve, but I'm rarely willing to do the things needed to get better since it's so exhausting. everything is so difficult, and the tasks I give myself are far too easy with no improvement at all. this situation is really horrible. 6 months ago, my life sucked and now it's even worse. I isolate myself a lot more, and I even find it difficult to talk to my psychologist now. I even have problems speaking with my own mother, the person I feel the most safe on. in my situation, being put in a psych ward is most likely the best choice I could do to myself, but at the same time I'm in denial that it'll work, if that's understandable. I hate the thought of going there and I absolutely don't want to be associated with the kind of people there. I don't want to be "one of those guys". ughhh

[QUOTE=PredGD;45061725]in my situation, being put in a psych ward is most likely the best choice I could do to myself, but at the same time I'm in denial that it'll work, if that's understandable. I hate the thought of going there and I absolutely don't want to be associated with the kind of people there. I don't want to be "one of those guys". ughhh[/QUOTE] That's your depression talking. It's the biggest thing about these conditions. They, through their very nature, prevent you from treating them by means of apathy and doubt. If this is what you need to do to improve yourself, just do it. Even if it doesn't work, I guarantee you that the very act of [i]trying[/i] to do something about it will improve your mentality in a small way, at the very least, and is great for pushing you into further treatment through other methods, self-administered or otherwise. Also; don't think anything of being "one of those guys". The only one who can make a big deal of it is you. Humans are surprisingly reflective of our inner traits in that way; if anyone makes you feel like you're weird or broken for going to a psych ward, it's likely because you've already told them that you feel weird or broken because of it. Also if they tell you that they're probably a massive cock and you should tell them to eat shit, but that's besides the point. [editline]11th June 2014[/editline] Seriously if you want to try and fix this, just go. If not now, then ASAP. [i]Do not procrastinate.[/i]

I am absolutely heartbroken. I thought I was in love whilst I was in my previous relationships, until I fell in love with my best friend last year, who was also the most cherished and inspirational friend I have ever had in my life. He was engaged when we had first met a few years ago, and I had gently brushed him easily out of my mind, considering he was getting married as well as we were mutual friends etc., but when we had gotten back in contact with each other a few years later last year as well as learned more about each other, I fell head over fucking heels in love. I had never felt this way before. And before I knew it, I suddenly became obsessed. For fuck sake, I was even contemplating suicide over my feelings for him at the beginning of this year because I couldn't control them nor did I know how to stop them. He had helped me so much with my depression last year, as well as after my break-up, I still feel truely grateful for it to this day. We had met up a lot, once or twice a week last year. I had hidden a letter in his room towards the end of last year, telling him that I loved him, and after he read the letter, he messaged me no more than "That was beautiful, thankyou x" After not talking to me at all, or giving me one answer as to whether we would be together or not, I guessed it was a no and my emotions span out of control, and eventually loving him in a brother/sister way all over again like last time. We had never met up this year, aside from a very brief and crowded "hello, how are you doing?" as we just so happened to be part of the same audience of a burlesque show. So much for being "ill". He kept giving me mixed messages this year too, hardly ever returning my texts/messages, always cancelling our meet-ups which HE organised at the last minute, just so he would hang out with his other friends.... I still don't understand as to why he doesn't want to be with me, yet hardly ever talked to me since me and my boyfriend had gotten together. I was really looking forward to seeing him and to catch up as friends this week because I had missed him so much and couldn't wait to catch up as friends again for the first time this year, but up until last night I've had no choice but to cut him out of my life because of what friends etc. were reminding me about him, they were all pretty pissed off with me but at the same time worried about me and hoped I was seeing him for what he really was, now. Which I did. In other words, it was either my other close friends and my boyfriend, or him alone. I had no other choice. I have never felt so heartbroken and hurt in my fucking life. I know him for who he is now in the present, and not the best friend I have had in the past any more, even though I still wish he would be that best friend last year. So much for "I will NEVER leave your side as a friend. x" I don't know what to do :'(

[QUOTE=Raxas;45072498] Seriously if you want to try and fix this, just go. If not now, then ASAP. [i]Do not procrastinate.[/i][/QUOTE] I wish I could, and I really want, but it's hard as you most likely know. I want to improve, but the anxiety and depression has gotten such a strong foothold in my life that those are generally the deciding factor if I'm gonna do something or not. I keep coming with excuses I believe, it's super frustrating. "oh but I'm not ready for that yet, silly!" is something I often tell myself. "I should probably do this and this" which I do, but those tasks are so easy and doesn't help at all. I really need to start challenging myself, but when I'm supposed to do it I refuse doing it. doesn't help that I'm very stubborn either :v: I know that I want to improve, but I know for sure I don't want to go through the process, which I doubt anyone wants to. nothing comes without a cost though. "luckily" for me, my psychologist told me she has to be stricter with me, which is bittersweet for me. I'd gladly sit down and continue rotting away just because of how comfortable it is, but I want to improve so I can be comfortable everywhere. oh well, I'm not really sure where I'm trying to get by posting this. I'm really just blabbering at this point. I suppose I'm trying to justify not pushing myself, but we all know that it can't really be justified if I want to improve. not easy to push myself either, but as I wrote earlier too, everything is at a cost.

Anyone got tips for getting up before a social happening? It's my "friends" birthday and they invited like 70 people and I feel like I want to go, but I can't get myself on the thought of doing so and I use the silly excuse that I'm going to the dentist the day after.

Got formally diagnosed with Asperger's. That would explain why I don't even blink when reading some of the shitty news out there. [editline]This one's for you CheeseMan:)))))))[/editline] But shoot me if I ever use it as an excuse to get away with being a dipshit.

Yeah I don't think I'm going to be having any homosexual relationships in my lifetime. I haven't really had any positive experiences with any type of relationship involving homosexual men, whether or not it involves an intimate relationship or a friendly relationship. It's just that there is a lot of baggage in a homosexual relationship that I can't handle.

it depends more on the person you're dating than the form of the relationship you can decide if the luggage your partner renders unto you is manageable or choking while its safe to say that a heterosexual relationship is more "predictable", it will depend on the person you're dating with and his/her beliefs, life philosophy, behavior etc.

Haha nope, depression is kicking back in. Mood swings and all.

Convoluted rantings ahead: Right now my worst enemy is loneliness. I don't have a huge amount of friends, but I have friends who I do hang out with but they aren't filling my social needs or something. I want someone I can get to know super personally and become super close with, a relationship with someone I guess is what I want. I met this girl earlier in the year and she started to hang out with my group of friends and we sorta became close I suppose. I'm like split in half here though because I find myself falling for this girl. This girl's personality is that of a preppy rich tumblr girl on the surface but we playfully argue a whole lot and its just fun to be around her. I like her but I wish she was the her that wasn't HER if you know what I mean. I guess we've hit that point where we've kinda invested in each other to point where its stalled, maybe entering a relationship would kick up a whole new fire. But she is also moving quite possibly far away this summer. I'm not very good at engaging in social stuff with new people, but I've learned a lot from talking to this one girl and shes given me this boost of confidence like none other. The rest of this is all just me being confused as to where to take this and what to do and loneliness and blahhh.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGp25fn25Cs[/media] I got little pictures of boxes on the bottom of my post last time I posted one of Owen's videos here, but I don't give a fuck. This is the most personally relatable one I've seen but keep in mind this is retrospective for me; I can't gauge as to whether it's helpful to hear things when you're in such a state, but it's exactly the way of thinking that helped me overcome my own depression, and I can only wish I'd seen this sooner. For those of you about to dismiss it based on the fact it's coming from a pick-up artist, it's totally irrelevant. If someone came along with an armful of genuine cancer cures it wouldn't matter whether it's Osama Bin-Laden's zombie or Neil DeGrasse Tyson

[QUOTE=G-foxisus;45091369]it depends more on the person you're dating than the form of the relationship you can decide if the luggage your partner renders unto you is manageable or choking while its safe to say that a heterosexual relationship is more "predictable", it will depend on the person you're dating with and his/her beliefs, life philosophy, behavior etc.[/QUOTE] Yeah I know, it's just that homosexuals can be batshit insane sometimes (see drama in gay threads) because of how their homosexuality affects them (ie parents who disapprove). Like it's to the point where someone spreads rumors about someone else fucking their dog or something is completely okay because it's about someone most people don't like. [editline]13th June 2014[/editline] Jesus I just realised how aggressive my post sounded.

it's really weird to browse Facebook after not visiting the site for aaages. think I went there once last year, and first time this year. it's an uncomfortable reminder that the world goes on, while I've been stuck in the same place for some time. makes me regret some decisions I made in the past too. as early as September last year I had some people. three of them liked me for sure. two girls and one gay dude. should've taken it as a compliment but I just found it weird. I really regret just stopping to answer them because I was uncomfortable with the social stuff. I could have been doing something at least if I hadn't.

[QUOTE=PredGD;45101687]it's really weird to browse Facebook after not visiting the site for aaages. think I went there once last year, and first time this year. it's an uncomfortable reminder that the world goes on, while I've been stuck in the same place for some time. makes me regret some decisions I made in the past too. as early as September last year I had some people. three of them liked me for sure. two girls and one gay dude. should've taken it as a compliment but I just found it weird. I really regret just stopping to answer them because I was uncomfortable with the social stuff. I could have been doing something at least if I hadn't.[/QUOTE] I'm considering dumping facebook entirely. All I see is either people doing all sorts of social stuff, or people posting insanely infuriating things that bring me one step closer to just abandoning the internet. I know how you feel though. My friend who was incredibly anti-social has suddenly gotten a huge group of friends and constantly posts all the shit she's been up to. Even back in 2010, a good friend in my group of friends was suffering depression hard. I tried helping him out, but he quit gaming and became social as all hell. I mean, I'm glad he's happier now, but looking at his life, all the shit he does and the social things he goes to, I take one look at my life and it's only gotten worse in the past 4 years. I lie in bed most nights wondering what the hell am I doing with my life. I should do something but all I can think of is the worst of any given situation.

Family problems again, my mum was mad and then made everyone sad because she felt we were happier without her interaction so she completly ruined the whole weekend for me. It started great but now I'm just lost on what I'm doing. Edit : They did cancel the party on sunday so now I'm home with a family that is so unstable that no one knows what will happen next. I'm never going to tell them about me probably having GAD and being Bipolar because it was probably my mom that made me behave in this way...

[QUOTE=Weirdness;45103256]I'm considering dumping facebook entirely. All I see is either people doing all sorts of social stuff, or people posting insanely infuriating things that bring me one step closer to just abandoning the internet. I know how you feel though. My friend who was incredibly anti-social has suddenly gotten a huge group of friends and constantly posts all the shit she's been up to. Even back in 2010, a good friend in my group of friends was suffering depression hard. I tried helping him out, but he quit gaming and became social as all hell. I mean, I'm glad he's happier now, but looking at his life, all the shit he does and the social things he goes to, I take one look at my life and it's only gotten worse in the past 4 years. I lie in bed most nights wondering what the hell am I doing with my life. I should do something but all I can think of is the worst of any given situation.[/QUOTE] I want to drop FB but I stay in touch with some people there, its super hard to just press the deactivate button.

I don't belong anywhere. What fucking use am I to this world?

[QUOTE=Swog;45106417]I don't belong anywhere. What fucking use am I to this world?[/QUOTE] well Swog, you have your place somewhere, that's for sure. I'm not sure how to word myself to be honest, but I'll give it a try. regarding WAYT for example, it's important that you listen to what people say. people are not overreacting, they're just being brutally honest. people would be much softer around the edges if it weren't for the fact that you do cause some drama in the thread. I see lots of posts which mildly say are kind of "whiny" regarding depression and stuff. I have a hard time sympathizing since it seems to artificial. it seems like you say it for hearts, attention and sympathy. when you constantly think "oh I have mental issues" then it very quickly becomes artificial and not a real thing. especially when used after being called out, then hinting towards suicide. that's just fishing for attention. even though most of us in this thread can relate with being attention deprived, having no friends and some even spending portions of their life in complete isolation, it still doesn't mean people will sympathize with someone who doesn't have a plan to get better and just uses the thread to whine about depression. don't blame others for calling you out and overreacting. listen to what they say, and work with that. you won't get anywhere by blaming everyone around you for your mistakes. personally I feel I'm being very patient with you. gotta be honest though, your attitude about mental problems is really making me mad. you throw it around like excuses for causing shitstorms. don't fall into the trap of making non existent problems into real ones. you'll regret it so much. [editline]15th June 2014[/editline] ughh, probably not the best follow up to my previous post but I need to get it off my chest I went to Facebook, again, and I saw my ex's name with a new avatar. figured I'd check it out since I didn't think it would bother me that much considering it has been over a year now since our break up, but god damn it hit me pretty hard. she's so beautiful, while here I am rotting away, being more unattractive than ever. I honestly don't understand why she fell in love with me in the first place. all I see when I see myself in the mirror is some ugly dude with no friends. surely I must have some qualities since she did fall in love with me? I just can't see them, and it's bothering me so much. I have really mixed feelings at the moment. I really want to throw myself in front of a bus, but at the same time I don't want to accept that she has moved on with her life while I'm just rotting away. I really just want to work out, eat better, become super good looking just to have something to say "yeah baby, this is what you're missing out on" :v: fuck the world, god damn I'll focus on feeling better about myself. I really want to make sure she knows I moved on too. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR [editline]15th June 2014[/editline] god damn I want to scream, and I have no clue what exactly the deal is. I suppose I want to make a point, make sure she and everyone else knows that I didn't just sit down and rot away. oh man, I really want to make sure she feels like she's missing out but I have a feeling that's pretty far fetched considering she is the one who broke up, and it has been a year. oh well, still, I'm gonna find the qualities she fell in love with and work from there. my dad did after all hook up women left and right, surely I'll be able to too with my handsome dad genes [editline]15th June 2014[/editline] I just keep rambling on, but maan I'm super pumped. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but I'll be the boss of me now. fuck off depression, fuck off anxiety, get lost fat, I have a point to make

I've been growing my hair in for around ten months, and after months of having awkwardly-lengthed hair and getting told I looked like I was growing a mullet it FINALLY got long enough that it looked good. It was the first time I was really liked something about myself, and today I was forced by my dad and his wife to get it cut. They promised me over and over it would be a short trim. So suffice it to say I now have really fucking short hair. It may sound ridiculous but I'm actually really upset about it, the fact that I trusted them and they knew I really didn't want it cut in the first place, and now the fact that I refuse to look at myself in the mirror because every time I do I get incredibly mad and want to rip my hair out, and then depressed because I know its going to take almost a year to get it to the same length, and I have to start at a new school and by then its going to look like I have a fucking mullet. Now I have to get up in the morning and do my best to be happy for my dad. Its really tearing me up that they did it because they didn't like how it looked and now they could give two shits if I fucking hate myself even more. Now I can't even look in the mirror and be happy with how I look. [editline]15th June 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=PredGD;45106702]ughh, probably not the best follow up to my previous post but I need to get it off my chest I went to Facebook, again, and I saw my ex's name with a new avatar. figured I'd check it out since I didn't think it would bother me that much considering it has been over a year now since our break up, but god damn it hit me pretty hard. she's so beautiful, while here I am rotting away, being more unattractive than ever. I honestly don't understand why she fell in love with me in the first place. all I see when I see myself in the mirror is some ugly dude with no friends. surely I must have some qualities since she did fall in love with me? I just can't see them, and it's bothering me so much. I have really mixed feelings at the moment. I really want to throw myself in front of a bus, but at the same time I don't want to accept that she has moved on with her life while I'm just rotting away. I really just want to work out, eat better, become super good looking just to have something to say "yeah baby, this is what you're missing out on" :v: fuck the world, god damn I'll focus on feeling better about myself. I really want to make sure she knows I moved on too. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR [editline]15th June 2014[/editline] god damn I want to scream, and I have no clue what exactly the deal is. I suppose I want to make a point, make sure she and everyone else knows that I didn't just sit down and rot away. oh man, I really want to make sure she feels like she's missing out but I have a feeling that's pretty far fetched considering she is the one who broke up, and it has been a year. oh well, still, I'm gonna find the qualities she fell in love with and work from there. my dad did after all hook up women left and right, surely I'll be able to too with my handsome dad genes [editline]15th June 2014[/editline] I just keep rambling on, but maan I'm super pumped. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but I'll be the boss of me now. fuck off depression, fuck off anxiety, get lost fat, I have a point to make[/QUOTE] I know where you're coming from, a girl I went to school with last year, and went out with for a short time unofficially, has been posting shots of herself lately, and broke up with a guy she went out with for six months. I was going to try to say something but fuck I don't even know why she liked me in the first place, when I met her I had twenty times more anxiety than I do now (Which is why it came to an end, because I couldn't even say how I felt properly). Whats even worse is feeling like you have nothing to offer, no car, licence, money, job, and I just don't feel like I ever look good enough. The part that always hurts the most is remembering how differently she was with me when we went out, then how she wanted everyone else to see her; I miss that...

was it actually good looking hair or did you just THINK it looked good i dont trust myself to make decisions on how i look, i always ask others what they think

do any of you guys have this weird feeling that you're unable to do anything about your situation when you know someone is home? I can't bring myself to do anything but sit in front of my PC since I don't want to talk, don't want to hear "oh, you did something good for yourself? good job!". generally I'd be happy to be praised, but when it comes to my depression and anxiety I don't want people to praise me for doing something. I don't want people to even hint or be worried about it. not exactly sure why, but might be because I don't want them to see me like I am or because of some other reason I can't think of. maybe I'm kind of in denial that I struggle? I'm actually in the mood to get properly dressed just to feel better about myself, but if I do I'll surely get praise for it or people wondering if I'm going somewhere. it makes it so much harder. how can I work with myself without people I know noticing when I don't have a place of my own? moving out is out of question as I'm incapable of working in my current state. I really feel like I could benefit from living on my own so I don't have to worry about my anxiety when working on my self esteem and depression.

[QUOTE=PredGD;45111103]do any of you guys have this weird feeling that you're unable to do anything about your situation when you know someone is home? I can't bring myself to do anything but sit in front of my PC since I don't want to talk, don't want to hear "oh, you did something good for yourself? good job!". generally I'd be happy to be praised, but when it comes to my depression and anxiety I don't want people to praise me for doing something. I don't want people to even hint or be worried about it. not exactly sure why, but might be because I don't want them to see me like I am or because of some other reason I can't think of. maybe I'm kind of in denial that I struggle? I'm actually in the mood to get properly dressed just to feel better about myself, but if I do I'll surely get praise for it or people wondering if I'm going somewhere. it makes it so much harder. how can I work with myself without people I know noticing when I don't have a place of my own? moving out is out of question as I'm incapable of working in my current state. I really feel like I could benefit from living on my own so I don't have to worry about my anxiety when working on my self esteem and depression.[/QUOTE] I can relate to that. It's weird when people notice you doing something and comment on that, i always dislike it. I think it's really irrational tho, i don't know, they don't mean it in a bad way, i think it's more about being ashamed of your depression/anxiety and just pushing them away, not wanting them to notice it.

[QUOTE=PredGD;45111103]do any of you guys have this weird feeling that you're unable to do anything about your situation when you know someone is home? I can't bring myself to do anything but sit in front of my PC since I don't want to talk, don't want to hear "oh, you did something good for yourself? good job!". generally I'd be happy to be praised, but when it comes to my depression and anxiety I don't want people to praise me for doing something. I don't want people to even hint or be worried about it. not exactly sure why, but might be because I don't want them to see me like I am or because of some other reason I can't think of. maybe I'm kind of in denial that I struggle? I'm actually in the mood to get properly dressed just to feel better about myself, but if I do I'll surely get praise for it or people wondering if I'm going somewhere. it makes it so much harder. how can I work with myself without people I know noticing when I don't have a place of my own? moving out is out of question as I'm incapable of working in my current state. I really feel like I could benefit from living on my own so I don't have to worry about my anxiety when working on my self esteem and depression.[/QUOTE] I used to be very productive when I lived at home. Drawing, composing, using my mic in games. I'd just lock myself in my room and go nuts. Now that I'm living with someone else though, I'm incredibly self-conscious. I don't use my microphone, I don't draw during the day and only draw at night when no one else is up (I hate people looking over my shoulder/asking what I'm drawing, plus I sometimes draw figure and gesture studying, which involves looking at naked people and drawing them). When I used to make music regularly I'd hum out loud the song I was working on from what I had in my head, trying to figure out what I wanted to do next. I'd walk around mulling over thoughts in my head and talk to myself. I can't do any of that with my girlfriend's computer right next to mine, and sharing the same bed, and living in such a small house. It'd be rude to move my computer to a different room, and it's not like I hate my girlfriend. But sometimes I wish I were alone, for a solid week, just to relax and enjoy those things again and not worry about people thinking I'm weird. Hell I sometimes throw up the idea of renting a small space away from everything just solely so I can get it all out and not be afraid of people judging me. Maybe some day.

[QUOTE=PredGD;45111103]do any of you guys have this weird feeling that you're unable to do anything about your situation when you know someone is home? I can't bring myself to do anything but sit in front of my PC since I don't want to talk, don't want to hear "oh, you did something good for yourself? good job!". generally I'd be happy to be praised, but when it comes to my depression and anxiety I don't want people to praise me for doing something. I don't want people to even hint or be worried about it. not exactly sure why, but might be because I don't want them to see me like I am or because of some other reason I can't think of. maybe I'm kind of in denial that I struggle? I'm actually in the mood to get properly dressed just to feel better about myself, but if I do I'll surely get praise for it or people wondering if I'm going somewhere. it makes it so much harder. how can I work with myself without people I know noticing when I don't have a place of my own? moving out is out of question as I'm incapable of working in my current state. I really feel like I could benefit from living on my own so I don't have to worry about my anxiety when working on my self esteem and depression.[/QUOTE] Moving out is a double edged sword, though, especially when you have issues. Yeah you don't have to worry about anyone being around so its easier to get comfortable with yourself, but its also easy to sink into a hole and get stuck there. I'm 22 and living a few hundred miles from home right in the middle of a city to work. If everyone in my flat is away and none of my friends down here organize to do anything, sometimes I waste away insane amounts of time and it all blurs together. For example the other week I was in the flat alone and I literally didn't step foot outside of my front door for 9 days straight, pretty much pissed all of that away sleeping, gaming and watching TV and didn't actually get anything productive done. [QUOTE=Weirdness;45112152]I can't do any of that with my girlfriend's computer right next to mine, and sharing the same bed, and living in such a small house. It'd be rude to move my computer to a different room, and it's not like I hate my girlfriend. But sometimes I wish I were alone, for a solid week, just to relax and enjoy those things again and not worry about people thinking I'm weird. Hell I sometimes throw up the idea of renting a small space away from everything just solely so I can get it all out and not be afraid of people judging me.[/QUOTE] This is an issue I have, its normal to want some alone time when you spend a lot of time around people. Would you be able to explain it to her or would she definitely take it the wrong way? Our living room looks like this usually, which isn't ideal if you are the type of person that doesnt like people watching your screen: [img_thumb]http://puu.sh/9vbnb/836e8321e7.jpg[/img_thumb]

I was wondering if anybody here can give me advice on dealing with loved ones (girlfriend) suffering with depression and what I can do to help her, without going overboard and hurting myself trying to be some savior.