Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=Yumyumbublegum;45595526]Hey everyone, I don't post much in this thread but something upcoming is giving me really bad anxiety so I thought I'd post about it. I'm taking my driving test tomorrow (I'm 19, so a couple years late too). I don't think I've practiced enough, but besides that is that driving in general gives me really bad anxiety. I'm pretty sure it stems from my social anxiety (if there was no one else on the road I'd feel completely comfortable). I'm usually able to deal with it by listening to music, but that isn't possible for the test. [/QUOTE] I didn't get my license till I was 21. Don't sweat it. As for the anxiety, that's pretty common when you start driving. As soon as I got my license it practically disappeared. I guess that validation that you're "good enough" to get your license helps alleviate that stress and worry. Before the test if you can, take a practice run with one of those learner driver companies. My mum set one up for me a couple of hours before my test, and he pretty much gave me a rundown of what would be on the actual test, telling me what to do and where I went wrong etc. (I don't know how they do it over in America, but it could be worth a shot). Having it fresh in your head what you need to do on the day majorly helps. Despite being anxious of passing (this was the day before I left to live in Australia (and as a bonus, my birthday)), I passed with flying colours. Even if you can't get in time with a company, try practicing with a parent before you take the test. It'll help you warm up at the very least.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Yumyumbublegum;45595526]Hey everyone, I don't post much in this thread but something upcoming is giving me really bad anxiety so I thought I'd post about it. I'm taking my driving test tomorrow (I'm 19, so a couple years late too). I don't think I've practiced enough, but besides that is that driving in general gives me really bad anxiety. I'm pretty sure it stems from my social anxiety (if there was no one else on the road I'd feel completely comfortable). I'm usually able to deal with it by listening to music, but that isn't possible for the test. I might as well get everything else off my chest too, I haven't talked to anyone about this stuff and I don't really feel comfortable talking about it (even here). I can't really imagine a positive future for myself, I always figured once I move out of my parents' house I would take a couple years to get a grasp on what life will be like by myself and ultimately decide to kill myself. I haven't tried (or plan to in the near future) because I don't want any of my family to have to walk in on that. But, it's always been something that I think of as a certainty. I wouldn't say I'm unhappy or happy right now, I'm just kind of existing until I don't have to anymore. Anyway, hopefully I can get some sleep tonight; the tightness in my chest has been increasing throughout the day today because of my test tomorrow. I guess I'll post an update tomorrow on how it goes, I'll feel better when it's over with (for better or worse).[/QUOTE] You're suffering from depression, contact your nearest health care center immediately.

[QUOTE=Yumyumbublegum;45595526]I guess I'll post an update tomorrow on how it goes, I'll feel better when it's over with (for better or worse).[/QUOTE] It was for the worse. Maybe next time. [editline]5th August 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Memnoth;45596500]You're suffering from depression, contact your nearest health care center immediately.[/QUOTE] I'm not in any immediate danger.

So after a good Sunday (a rare occurrence), it only took 2 days for the suicidal thoughts to creep in out of nowhere. The scary thing is that they felt so appealing.... Yeeeahp, I think it might be time I see my local GP.

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do you guys know of any remedies to increase concentration? every time I open a book to read or read a book to learn something, I literally close the book the second I see text. it's so overwhelming and dull to me, even though I really want to learn (C++). I can't keep my focus for any longer than a second at max, I just fall out of it completely. it's really depressing too. learning to write code has been my dream ever since I was a child. I've always been so fascinated about how we can write lines of code which does something or manipulates something. I really want to learn this, but even the most basic stuff is so overwhelming I can't even start reading. I just see the text and close the book. last year I was under the suspicion of suffering from ADD. I took ritalin, but I had a pretty negative effect to them. I'd start shaking, feel restless, feel incredibly uncomfortable, etc, once they begun wearing off so I had to quit as it was a literal nightmare once they went out of the body. I'm not sure if I have ADD or not, but it might be a topic I should re-consider picking up. if only I could start learning new stuff, I'm sure quality of life would be much better. I just need new stuff to do [editline]6th August 2014[/editline] now that I'm on the topic of ADD and ritalin, I came to think of "tics" I have. I'm not sure if they're even considered tics or not, but at times, I feel this uncontrollable urge to shake my hands. it's not like shaking water off of your hands, but more like extreme trembling. I've always had them ever since I was a child. when I was a child though, I'd usually flap my arms like a bird whenever I had this feeling. I didn't think much of it, but it proved to be entertaining to those around me. now that I've grown up, they're still there but much more subtle. like an uncontrollable urge to shake my hands as I wrote. it's not only my hands, I sometimes have them in my neck too. they're much more apparent if I'm excited or happy about something, which makes me feel kind of retarded :v:

eh I feel really shitty every time I look in a certain thread. I can't ask shit or have a discussion in it.

IDK guys. I haven't posted in this thread in a while. If anybody has read what I've posted in the past, you know I try to be honest and helpful. After a while I felt like I didn't actually have anything to say, so I pretty much left this thread. In real life, I've been doing a lot of hard work keeping myself safe and healthy. But recently some things have happened that are making alarms go off in my head. My sleep schedule is fucked, My highs are higher and my lows are lower, sometimes I just leave tough social situations (that should be easy) and go home and cry. It's not all bad though, I'm building relationships with people, I have a cat now, I'm pretty much holding it together. I am at a point that is very confusing for me. Getting healthy and also having trouble is something I'm not doing a good job of reconciling. I know in my head that I'm not where I was those months ago where I didn't even believe I would live very long, but right now it kind of feels like it did then. But I'm also doing a good job of not indulging and feeding my suicidality. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. Maybe that getting healthy is slow, and hard and it's not a straight climb from bad to good. Getting healthy is confusing and scary and that's OK. Anyway, I want to say to all of you suffering right now that you are very brave and don't let anybody tell you otherwise, because they have no idea what it is like to be you right now.

[QUOTE=PredGD;45605306]do you guys know of any remedies to increase concentration? every time I open a book to read or read a book to learn something, I literally close the book the second I see text. it's so overwhelming and dull to me, even though I really want to learn (C++). I can't keep my focus for any longer than a second at max, I just fall out of it completely. it's really depressing too. learning to write code has been my dream ever since I was a child. I've always been so fascinated about how we can write lines of code which does something or manipulates something. I really want to learn this, but even the most basic stuff is so overwhelming I can't even start reading. I just see the text and close the book. last year I was under the suspicion of suffering from ADD. I took ritalin, but I had a pretty negative effect to them. I'd start shaking, feel restless, feel incredibly uncomfortable, etc, once they begun wearing off so I had to quit as it was a literal nightmare once they went out of the body. I'm not sure if I have ADD or not, but it might be a topic I should re-consider picking up. if only I could start learning new stuff, I'm sure quality of life would be much better. I just need new stuff to do [editline]6th August 2014[/editline] now that I'm on the topic of ADD and ritalin, I came to think of "tics" I have. I'm not sure if they're even considered tics or not, but at times, I feel this uncontrollable urge to shake my hands. it's not like shaking water off of your hands, but more like extreme trembling. I've always had them ever since I was a child. when I was a child though, I'd usually flap my arms like a bird whenever I had this feeling. I didn't think much of it, but it proved to be entertaining to those around me. now that I've grown up, they're still there but much more subtle. like an uncontrollable urge to shake my hands as I wrote. it's not only my hands, I sometimes have them in my neck too. they're much more apparent if I'm excited or happy about something, which makes me feel kind of retarded :v:[/QUOTE] Jesus christ are you me? To be brutally honest, there's no easy way to overcome inattentiveness. I have tried everything under the sun including Ritalin. Ritalin had the same effects on me as it did for you, though it did help me pass maths in my final year (of which I retained nothing I learnt). About 5 months ago I tried learning C#, this being 3 months after I suffered encephalitis. I wanted so hard to learn, and I tried setting aside time to do it but I got caught up in a mix of demotivation, depression and ADD. I want to do it again but I know I'm going to fall back into the very same habits and problems. I take a whole bunch of supplements and those barely help. I get better results when I eat 2 bananas in a row. Your best bet would be trying to increase your Dopamine levels. What might help are bananas, Taurine and/or Theanine, exercising regularly etc. I sound like a broken record but outside of pushing forward despite hating it or taking prescription drugs, I haven't found anything that works consistently and well. From personal experience, bananas do help, but not for more than a couple of days; they contain a lot of vitamins as well as Tyrosine, which is a precursor to Dopamine. Green tea helps wake me up and keep me focused, but doesn't motivate me to do anything really. Exercising is a no brainer; helps build up the grey matter in your brain, and if it's strenuous exercise can possibly create new neurons for memory. Taurine I haven't tried, but only because I'm strapped for cash. I've read some promising things about it but I can't vouch for it until I've tried it personally. In the end you have to experiment a lot, trying to find what works best for you. I'm still trying to find that sweet spot. Sorry I can't be of more help. If I had a cure for this shit I'd be spreading it around like gonorrhea :v:.

[QUOTE=PredGD;45605306]do you guys know of any remedies to increase concentration? every time I open a book to read or read a book to learn something, I literally close the book the second I see text. it's so overwhelming and dull to me, even though I really want to learn (C++). I can't keep my focus for any longer than a second at max, I just fall out of it completely.[/QUOTE] learning entirely by books is a form of procrastination. if you really want to learn, at least supplement book learning with some hands on projects [QUOTE=Weirdness;45608533]About 5 months ago I tried learning C#, this being 3 months after I suffered encephalitis. I wanted so hard to learn, and I tried setting aside time to do it but I got caught up in a mix of demotivation, depression and ADD. I want to do it again but I know I'm going to fall back into the very same habits and problems.[/QUOTE] this is me (minus the encephalitis). even with the above advice i cant commit to anything involving programming, even though i want to go to college for it. i enjoyed programming as a kid but i just cant commit anymore ive gotten to the point where im considering switching to a more general information technology career

Seems like I will be starting Krav Maga. Time to kick some ass, and get my ass kicked.

hi, recently i have been thinking about how i look. i have come to the conclusion that i look much younger than i actually am. this has been playing on my mind and i feel uncomfortable in public or around others my age because of this. i may be attending a LAN event with an online community soon and i feel as if i won't be taken seriously because of this. have you guys got any advice?

I feel really bad now. I testplayed for my region "youth band" and ended up failing and losing my spot again. Now I've tried 4 times in a row and I'm too old to try again next year and I really had this like one of my life goals. Now I'm laying in bed, crying, eating baconchips and drinking Coke while I think of how useless I am at the thing I dedicated my life to. Fuck me, I can't even get in something local like this when I'm going to school and actually learning this shit, what a fucking waste of space I am. I wish I never tried, because then I wouldn't feel so bad when I didn't get the spot, because then it wouldn't be because I suck absolute horsedicks in everything I do.

maaan, I decided to shape up and try to eat less to lose weight two weeks ago, and there's barely any progress at all. I've lost 1 pound which may as well be water weight considering how little it is. I so want to lose weight since I can't even look at myself in the mirror without thinking I'm some ugly, fat guy. yet again, I'm not exactly obese but I'm still way above my comfort zone when it comes to weight. I just wish anxiety didn't play a part of this, else I'd be outside and actually done some cardio to speed things up. feels like I'm blaming my anxiety right now, but I do believe there's some truth in it at the same time

[QUOTE=PredGD;45615400]maaan, I decided to shape up and try to eat less to lose weight two weeks ago, and there's barely any progress at all. I've lost 1 pound which may as well be water weight considering how little it is. I so want to lose weight since I can't even look at myself in the mirror without thinking I'm some ugly, fat guy. yet again, I'm not exactly obese but I'm still way above my comfort zone when it comes to weight. I just wish anxiety didn't play a part of this, else I'd be outside and actually done some cardio to speed things up. feels like I'm blaming my anxiety right now, but I do believe there's some truth in it at the same time[/QUOTE] Real Talk: Let me tell you two things that you may not want to hear. 1, losing weight takes a lot of time and using a scale is not helpful because your weight fluctuates by pounds each day. 2, getting fit is a lot easier if you don't go it alone. I'm not talking like gym membership here, but maybe joining a class or even getting an exercise buddy helps a lot. I get that these things aren't easy, but that's kind of the point. Doing the hard stuff is what gets results. One last thing. Being fit and healthy does have a lot to do with your self image, and there are people who are fit, healthy and even beautiful who look in the mirror and see a fat, unlovable slob. That kind of thing is getting into body image disorder territory. I'm not saying that that's you, but it's something to be aware of. My point is that there is a balance between a desire to be better and accepting who you are and try not to make it all or nothing. I hope that this helps you :)

I'm just going to treat this thread as "all disorders in general". I learned about this thing called Schizoid Personality Disorder and I fit almost all of the criteria, most are spot on while a few traits I am not like. I'm going to my psychiatrist to find out if I have it or something similar, in the mean time I decided to do a 'test' on a mental health site (yes I know online tests are inaccurate and usually bullshit but I thought it would be an interesting to see what it says about me) and it says out of 1 and 44 I scored 34 which indicated that I "do have it", but I am still going to talk to my psychiatrist about it to confirm if I actually do have it or not. If there's anyone on here who does have SPD I would like to hear their thoughts on the disorder. (The fact that I'm asking for people's opinions probably means I don't have SPD but I'm still going to check with my psych just to be sure)

Anyone here have IBS or get heaps of stomach gas and intestinal problems when you're stressed/anxious? I've become a bit worse after I started taking SSRI's and also gained some weight, but it said it would die down after some months. It's like one week I'm fine, but the next week it feels like my stomach is a water balloon and I have to go to the toilet 2-3 times a day. Got an appointment with my doctor anyhow, but last time it was nothing. It's always like this, and the doctor is starting to think I'm a hypochondriac.. Edit: Upon reading about ssri's, it seems like a common side-effect. Going to the doctor anyway.

[QUOTE=Thaard;45621725]Anyone here have IBS or get heaps of stomach gas and intestinal problems when you're stressed/anxious? I've become a bit worse after I started taking SSRI's and also gained some weight, but it said it would die down after some months. It's like one week I'm fine, but the next week it feels like my stomach is a water balloon and I have to go to the toilet 2-3 times a day. Got an appointment with my doctor anyhow, but last time it was nothing. It's always like this, and the doctor is starting to think I'm a hypochondriac.. Edit: Upon reading about ssri's, it seems like a common side-effect. Going to the doctor anyway.[/QUOTE] Ulcerative colitis here. When I'm stressing about at work I'll almost always get stomach and intestinal pains. I get to deal with that in about 30 minutes when I start work. Along with having a cold. :suicide:

All of the people around me are doing so much better than me and I can't stop comparing my lives to theirs. Sometimes it feels like it'd be better to cut myself off from them.

So, yeah. I still have my dark days sometimes, the last time being one of the worst the night before last. Seemed to be the longest night of my life being wide awake and feeling that way. Finally went asleep at about half past 5 in the morning. On a better note, I'm engaged now :') When RayvenQ was over for a few weeks last month, he awkwardly proposed to me on my birthday, and I said "okay" awkwardly. We are like that together, pissing each other off, annoying one another and making each other laugh. All in good humour of course. :smile: Told my family and few close friends about it, and I'm surprised of how supportive and all for it they were. My parents in particular, but whatever makes me happy, they are happy, so *shrug* I have seen a therapist for the first time in two years, and after 7 years of constant mental health therapy, I now FINALLY have a understanding, nice, and funny therapist! I'm seeing him again in three weeks. Things are really looking up for me, except for the fact that I am still signed off from work and still having no luck with job-searching. That gets me down more than half the time, but eh, what can you do.

My doc got me started on a trial of Cymbalta, 60mg a day. I know that every experience is usually different but does anybody here have anything to say about it? I've heard some nasty stuff about it.

[QUOTE=Durst;45629609]My doc got me started on a trial of Cymbalta, 60mg a day. I know that every experience is usually different but does anybody here have anything to say about it? I've heard some nasty stuff about it.[/QUOTE] I was on Cymbalta for years. Number one thing you need to know: Never skip a dose. The withdraw symptoms are fucking intense. Painful headaches, dizziness, and sometimes I even had trouble breathing. Always take them. Don't skip.

me and a guy who used to be much closer got into contact again for the past few days. thought that it was great, but theeen it went into the drain again. the reason we lost contact in the first place must be because of my anxiety getting worse and worse until I stopped sending messages and never spoke over mic anymore. we were going to play a game yesterday which he bought me, which was very nice. he wanted to speak using mics though, which is understandable but I hadn't had any sleep due to my sleep schedule, nor do I even have a mic at the moment so I didn't find it very feasible. he suggested using the phone, but I figured it'd be very awkward to use a phone when sitting with headphones on the PC. I began feeling tension, so I just ended it with a generic message, "pls". told him I'd play later, which I got no reply to with a sad ball in my throat and an uncomfortable feeling, I decided to finish checking some threads on facepunch and called it a night at 3pm. couldn't sleep due to the events prior though, so I got out of bed at 6pm, took a shower, and called it a night at 7pm. now that I'm awake again, I see that he played the game with someone else instead. I feel like a broken part that was replaced by a spare part I don't think I'll bother with having anyone close for a looong while. all that happens is that things go well for a few days, then something I find uncomfortable is brought up so I back out before an argument can start, and bam, I'm set back more than I made any progress. I feel so rejected by everybody [editline]10th August 2014[/editline] I wish I was something I'm not

I broke down while talking to my childhood friend Mel over the phone. I told her about my plan of wanting to kill myself once I have $15,000 and she freaked out and stayed on the call with me for two hours, just discussing my problems with me. Toward the end she started pleading with me to drop the plan and telling me that she would probably end up falling into depression and end up hurting herself if I was dead. I feel fucking terrible right now about that whole conversation, she was so upset regarding it and I hate bringing people that I care about into my depression problems. [img]http://fi.somethingawful.com/safs/smilies/8/9/smithcloud.001.gif[/img]

You could start a new life with $15k

I was planning on saving up the money so that I could kill myself, and my family would have the money to have me cremated, and have everything in my room cleaned and packed away.

When you're killing yourself, think about the how much you'll hurt the ones that care about you. That's one of the reasons I haven't offed myself(and music of course). As long as I have those two, I won't kill myself. There's almost always a way out. Anyway, been drinking hard for the last couple of days. Smashed a window with my fist yesterday but it didn't really hurt until today. My psychologist says that I've lost many years of my life because of the severe bullying that happened to me from when I was 12 til I was 18, and I'm slowly progressing to where I should be. At the age of 28, my mind is more around 18-22 and I'm feeling kinda anarchy'ish. Drinking, doing drugs, smashing things and not giving a fuck. All that is something I didn't experience because I used all my energy on avoiding the bullies and being scared. My stomach problems disappeared though, so I'm feeling ok I guess..

[QUOTE=Roll_Program;45649803]You could start a new life with $15k[/QUOTE] Starting a new life changes everything except yourself, if your problem is clinical depression only directly addressing it with professional help is guaranteed to work. $15k is enough to follow through completely with professional help regardless of what country you live in, fortunately.

hey guys. first post here. i'm having trouble making friends. mind you, i do have friends, good ones i should say. we hang out a lot and we're very close to each other; that's not the problem. it's the drawn out [i]process[/i] of making friends that frustrates me. i'm not the kind of guy who can simply approach others and strike up a conversation; no, [i]you'll[/i] have to take the initiative. otherwise, nothing's probably going to happen. and to be honest, it makes me feel somewhat "inadequate". unlike myself, my friends are really sociable people (and maybe better looking than i am), and sometimes it makes me jealous how easy they can get along with others (especially with girls, which i am absolutely [i]terrible[/i] with), whereas i rarely interact with people besides them. basically i'm a reluctantly shy person. which sucks. the only reason i'm bringing this up is because it's my first year at uni and it's back to square one for me again. i dont know anyone here, though the people strike me as friendly, i can't bring myself to go out there and socialize, but on the other hand i don't want a repeat of my freshman year in high school either, where it was just me in the library and stacks of books every break time. i enjoy a fill of solitude like anyone else, but i hate being lonely all the time. i'd keep badgering my friends for attention, but i don't want to come across as clingy. and unfortunately, they're the only ones who can make me feel comfortable about myself after being alone and awkward for so long.

[QUOTE=Azzator;45650737]hey guys. first post here. i'm having trouble making friends. mind you, i do have friends, good ones i should say. we hang out a lot and we're very close to each other; that's not the problem. it's the drawn out [i]process[/i] of making friends that frustrates me. i'm not the kind of guy who can simply approach others and strike up a conversation; no, [i]you'll[/i] have to take the initiative. otherwise, nothing's probably going to happen. and to be honest, it makes me feel somewhat "inadequate". unlike myself, my friends are really sociable people (and maybe better looking than i am), and sometimes it makes me jealous how easy they can get along with others (especially with girls, which i am absolutely [i]terrible[/i] with), whereas i rarely interact with people besides them. basically i'm a reluctantly shy person. which sucks. the only reason i'm bringing this up is because it's my first year at uni and it's back to square one for me again. i dont know anyone here, though the people strike me as friendly, i can't bring myself to go out there and socialize, but on the other hand i don't want a repeat of my freshman year in high school either, where it was just me in the library and stacks of books every break time. i enjoy a fill of solitude like anyone else, but i hate being lonely all the time. i'd keep badgering my friends for attention, but i don't want to come across as clingy. and unfortunately, they're the only ones who can make me feel comfortable about myself after being alone and awkward for so long.[/QUOTE] Maybe you could ask them to introduce you to some people? Tell them how much trouble you're having and how you wanna fix it? Maybe they could wingman or something