Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

Aldous Huxley's Brave New World deals with the problem of loneliness. For everything else, there is [I]soma[/I].

8 Months since my last suicide attempt today, you always hold out things'll get better but they just seemingly dont. Bah, i dont think i'll last past this year anyway, i set some goals that still havent even started to come to fruition, i feel like i'm probably gonna be gone by December.

learning is so frustrating. I'm not sure if I'm just being lazy or if there's something deeper to it. I failed several classes when I left secondary school. upper-secondary school? naah, I had to drop out. even when I really, really want to learn, it just doesn't happen. my mind goes blank and I just give up

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;45756761]8 Months since my last suicide attempt today, you always hold out things'll get better but they just seemingly dont. Bah, i dont think i'll last past this year anyway, i set some goals that still havent even started to come to fruition, i feel like i'm probably gonna be gone by December.[/QUOTE] I know nothing that I say will probably stop you, it's entirely your decision, but please don't. You are a worthwhile person. You deserve to be happy just as the rest of us do. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. Time spent improving yourself, in any aspect, is never wasted. Start today. Do one thing that improves yourself, because one is better than zero. One adds up over time. One. I couldn't just scroll past your post and act like I didn't see it, people do care and I'll feel terrible if you just give up and quit.

[QUOTE=Gmod Tomato;45759977]I know nothing that I say will probably stop you, it's entirely your decision, but please don't. You are a worthwhile person. You deserve to be happy just as the rest of us do. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH. Time spent improving yourself, in any aspect, is never wasted. Start today. Do one thing that improves yourself, because one is better than zero. One adds up over time. One. I couldn't just scroll past your post and act like I didn't see it, people do care and I'll feel terrible if you just give up and quit.[/QUOTE] I know, i appreciate your concern, its a collection of most things, and i cant believe i feel this way again myself, but i dunno, i just feel like i've not got anything to live for, not in a sense of what i can do, its what i want to do, and i feel i've done everything i wanted, in a strange way. I just dont feel i belong in this realm (dont mean that to sound melodramatic)

So my ex had left me for his best friend's girlfriend last year. Then me and his former best friend were okay and on good terms because of those C words who made our lives a living misery. And now him and the former best friend are friends again. I don't even..... WUT :v: Who the fuck would be friends again with someone who makes a false rape claim towards that person?! Not my fucking circus, and not my monkeys, either!

woah, there's really some truth behind pushing yourself even when you don't want to. I'm trying to learn Python this time around as I need to learn a server-side scripting language, and well, my previous post should be a good indicator that it was headed where my previous experiences with Java, C++ and C# went. I decided to keep going anyway, even when I felt like a complete failure thinking I couldn't learn at the same pace as a "normal" person. suddenly, pop! I don't understand a whole lot more, but it just became more fun and less daunting, even when I can't figure something out. sure it's still frustrating and I keep dropping it, but I'm shortly back for more to solve the problem, which I usually manage to pull off! [editline]22nd August 2014[/editline] I've never really believed in the saying that if you never give up, you'll eventually solve it. now though, I think I can understand why people say stuff similar to that. I've always struggled with learning so it feels amazing that this is suddenly better. it feels like I broke the formula for learning tears of happiness

^^Same thing with every skill one tries to learn. It takes 10000 hours to master any specific skill irrespective of personal aptitude. May take less if you count in other factors. But practice and perseverance is the key. Reaching a milestone gives you a sense of supreme accomplishment and confidence boost too. Build up on your failures. It's just that you haven't opened enough doors to find the one soon enough.

I'm so tired of these mental issues I am having, they're wearing me thin (literally I lost 2kg and I am now 61kg 6" 1'). On the upside I've been referred to a psychiatrist and I might be able to get this sorted, doctor is also pulling me off SSRI's but not sure why. I really want to live a normal life and be able to work. I am in debt to the council which I didn't realise until a couple months ago; £250. My money has been stopped for incapacity, my dad thinks I'm just being "soft" as he puts it and is constantly oppressing me. Sometimes I wish I never moved back home since things are getting worse with me around him but I couldn't survive in the outside world I would probably just off myself as I think about regularly anyway. I've stopped smoking weed, on my 6th day now and shit's hard I'm drinking at least 10 cans a day just so I can manage to eat some food since the anxiety prevents me feeling hunger Also started smoking tobacco again (was on the ecig) but what can I do

So I just received news that my grandmother has lung cancer. She just got hospitalized today and my mother gave me a call about it. I have never heard my mother so shaken up, she was trembling on the phone. My uncle told me that it may be Non-Small cell Squamous, basically is the kind of cancer that's unresponsive to most treatments. My family's not really sure what to do yet since we haven't heard from the oncologist in charge of my grandmother's health. My family is no position to be able to finance any form of treatments; single mother, very small family and a significant chunk of debt and I'm not even sure if my grandmother has good enough insurance to keep this kind of care for her. I was very close to my grandmother, she always looked out for me especially during the divorces which got nasty, so I really grew up with my grandmother being around very often. Now with this news, it just starts to hit me, tomorrow I'm taking a drive to see her at the hospital. Not much I can do aside from hoping and making sure that's she's comfortable there. It honestly sucks. My head feels heavy, the thought of this happening to my grandmother is constantly hanging inside my head. I keep trying to move on a little past it so I can keep functioning as a regular being, but at the same time, If I ever dare to put behind my grandmother, what kind of human would I be forgetting my family.

I guess just let him know there's more to life than spending money trying to get girls, I guess that's pretty obvious though. Really all you can do aside from obvious comforting shit is just be there so he doesn't try anything until he's over it.

After coming back home from a week's break in Majorca, I don't know what to do any more :v: I had so much fun and had done many activities, even a photoshoot, without thinking once about the bad shit going on in my life etc. And now I'm back home.... I'm once again swallowed by the all-encompassing dark known as depression, with nothing to see and nothing to do here. Wish I was back there.

maybe it's the pills or just me but i'm starting to miss being with friends every weekend i can't think of anything else than good memories being out ravaging the town after the pub awkwardly talking to random people and just having a good time man those times are gone aren't they

I feel pathetic for still being heart broken over my ex. in May next year it's gonna be two years since she broke up the day she decided to break up has to be the only day in my entire life that I remember in clear detail. only moment of my life where I truly felt like everything collapsed around me. I was piss scared of going back to how I used to live with no friends, and here I am 1 and a half year later, worse than before I met her yesterday or two days ago, I can't remember, I had to go out in the garage to get some pepsi which was stored there. excluding the fact that I felt like robbing my own house since I didn't want to wake anyone up, it felt so refreshing to feel the air. it's kinda one of those "wow" moments. it sounds pretty melodramatic, but I can't help it. I never open the window or stand in the doorway, so it's easy to forget what it feels like just to be outside. makes me think of me and my ex since she has been the only one I did stuff with that isn't games [editline]23rd August 2014[/editline] it's weird to think that I actually could go outside before without feeling like the ugliest person in the universe that everyone thought was weird

I had a pretty freaky dream last night where I had fallen in love with someone beautiful and pretty much gave my heart to them. They ended up leaving me for someone else in the dream though and I ended up driving my car into a ravine or something like that to kill myself. Now when I get lonely I keep thinking about it. I'm starved for affection I guess. I really dislike feeling lonely

[QUOTE=FreyasFighter;45777027]After coming back home from a week's break in Majorca, I don't know what to do any more :v: I had so much fun and had done many activities, even a photoshoot, without thinking once about the bad shit going on in my life etc. And now I'm back home.... I'm once again swallowed by the all-encompassing dark known as depression, with nothing to see and nothing to do here. Wish I was back there.[/QUOTE] Being in Britain really is depressing isn't it? I feel sorry for people who have depression and live here, it makes me feel depressed and I don't have depression, it's just so damn boring.

It would suck less if it wasn't so expensive to have a car so I could get to all the nice places instead of being stuck in cities.

[QUOTE=Roll_Program;45784750]It would suck less if it wasn't so expensive to have a car so I could get to all the nice places instead of being stuck in cities.[/QUOTE] I really want to go abroad somewhere since I haven't been abroad since I was 12 but don't have a job to afford it or anyone to really go with. Sucks that I'm stuck in an exceptionally dull area where there's nothing to do except drinking, which since I have yet to sort out a form of ID I can't even do that.

Have you ever had a day where you just wanna run away, take all your money and whatever you can carry on your back and see where the world takes you. 30-40 years ago that would be a realistic thing, and most likely happened often, now thats borderline impossible, life is too strict and repeat, the adventures of life are crushed relatively early in life. Then again, theres nothing stopping me from just doing that. See where i end up. If i could, id go live in Japan again, but at this point it seems unlikely, unless my friend can home me, it'd be nice to go and get away from life here again.

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;45785296]Have you ever had a day where you just wanna run away, take all your money and whatever you can carry on your back and see where the world takes you. 30-40 years ago that would be a realistic thing, and most likely happened often, now thats borderline impossible, life is too strict and repeat, the adventures of life are crushed relatively early in life. Then again, theres nothing stopping me from just doing that. See where i end up. If i could, id go live in Japan again, but at this point it seems unlikely, unless my friend can home me, it'd be nice to go and get away from life here again.[/QUOTE] I hope I'll be able to do something like this one day. I imagine a change of scenery would help out a ton. no one would know me, and I would know no one. just being able to finally go outdoors or to the gym without worrying about meeting someone I know of just bought the bioshock infinite season pass on the 2k sale on steam to play the DLCs, and now that I've finally downloaded it and see the title screen, I remember that I had just finished the game when my ex wanted to meet up to break up. there goes the relatively good mood

[QUOTE=PredGD;45787650]I hope I'll be able to do something like this one day. I imagine a change of scenery would help out a ton. no one would know me, and I would know no one. just being able to finally go outdoors or to the gym without worrying about meeting someone I know of just bought the bioshock infinite season pass on the 2k sale on steam to play the DLCs, and now that I've finally downloaded it and see the title screen, I remember that I had just finished the game when my ex wanted to meet up to break up. there goes the relatively good mood[/QUOTE] I had a chick i dated, who dicked me over a lot who did a Elizabeth cosplay, i felt shit just playing the fucking game for a long time!

Figured this was the best place to get something of my chest. An old friend just died, who I hadn't seen in years. He was close without so many people and it's kinda hard to wonder if he really remembers me or not. I really wish I would have kept in touch and had gotten to know him more now. But I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my grief because a lot of people knew him so much better, I feel like I can't grieve with them without seeming out of place, I don't know.

[QUOTE=TheClayMan;45800834]Figured this was the best place to get something of my chest. An old friend just died, who I hadn't seen in years. He was close without so many people and it's kinda hard to wonder if he really remembers me or not. I really wish I would have kept in touch and had gotten to know him more now. But I feel like I can't talk to anyone about my grief because a lot of people knew him so much better, I feel like I can't grieve with them without seeming out of place, I don't know.[/QUOTE] Even if you didn't keep in touch with him that doesn't devalue his importance to you. It's not out of place to grieve for him, he's still a friend to you, after all

Sometimes I feel like changing my name and cutting all ties with my family [editline]26th August 2014[/editline] Like when I'm older

I think I want to die. Reasons: -my closest friend, who is also my cousin, hates my guts after an argument. She's saying a bunch of shit about me to make me look as bad as possible. Stuff like "he raped his ex and bragged about it to me" and a whole bunch of nasty shit like this. I can't leave the house without being accused of being a pedophile. My ex even told everybody the truth, but nobody really cares, as long as they get an easy target, right? -my family could care less about me. I think they'd actually do better without me, considering they won't have to deal with the shit I put them unjust

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;45812101]Sometimes I feel like changing my name and cutting all ties with my family [editline]26th August 2014[/editline] Like when I'm older[/QUOTE] Oh yeah I agree, as soon as I can I'm out of here, starting fresh, new everything, 2nd chance. I wouldn't change my name but I think I'd at least go far away as I can afford and get a new Facebook account and delete old numbers off my phone. I like the friends I have here but I think part of starting new would be to cut them off to stop the recurrence of bad memories or the places I used to live that make me feel awful. I don't think they'd mind if they knew it would get me to a point in my life where I can enjoy life.

[QUOTE=OficerHonkHonk;45816502]I think I want to die. Reasons: -my closest friend, who is also my cousin, hates my guts after an argument. She's saying a bunch of shit about me to make me look as bad as possible. Stuff like "he raped his ex and bragged about it to me" and a whole bunch of nasty shit like this. I can't leave the house without being accused of being a pedophile. My ex even told everybody the truth, but nobody really cares, as long as they get an easy target, right? -my family could care less about me. I think they'd actually do better without me, considering they won't have to deal with the shit I put them unjust[/QUOTE] That sounds like a really terrible situation sorry that you have to go through it, is there anyone onside you can talk to while the situation dies down? None of this is your fault and it's not you putting this down on your family

I've been so incredibly light headed for the past three days and it frustrates me as I'm not sure why. it's nothing new, but it has been very aggressive recently. I'm not even sure if light headed is the right term. I feel "gone" and as if I haven't slept for days. my concentration is non existent and I often just fall out of it when I'm writing which gets me partially incoherent sentences at times. I suspect it has to be something with my condition etc as I've never experienced this feeling before stuff went down the drain. it just doesn't feel like I'm actually here and as if my body isn't "me". it sounds pretty weird but I'm not sure how else to explain it it's a big source of discomfort and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with it either. playing games, watching movies, reading, and learning is all affected by this. I just fall out of existence. even if I end up playing non-stop for a few days, I never remember the story or dialogue

I feel so shitty right now. I wish I could just stop existing. I hate this feeling, hate hate hate it

Wiped nearly everyone off my friend's list. I honestly feel that the people I removed were just pity friends, but I'm probably wrong. I know I'm not a good friend but none of these people talk back and I feel like I'm screwing up if I talk to them, because its always the wrong thing. Whatever, I can't even keep a decent friendship going to save my life.