Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

Hey to all you folks in High School getting down about girls. Keep in mind during that period of time males AND females are going through behavioral and hormonal changes constantly, and the crazy behavior demonstrated by both sexes is a product of that. There's a light at the end of the tunnel and even when those times seem bad they will get better :) , you won't feel that way forever and everything (especially girls) gets a lot easier and less complicated when you get out of School and enter the real world.

Well fuck. After almost 5 days of doubling my medication (100mg to 200mg fluvoxamine), I still feel like absolute shit and the intrusive thoughts are still here.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;40015804]Well fuck. After almost 5 days of doubling my medication (100mg to 200mg fluvoxamine), I still feel like absolute shit and the intrusive thoughts are still here.[/QUOTE] Is that doctor recommended? Seems a bit excessive. Either the side-effects are kicking your ass or you're having an adverse reaction to it. Might want to talk to the guy who prescribed that stuff to you. Last thing you want is anti-depressants that make depression worse. How often do you take it? Do you take it in the middle of the day or when you go to bed? Any side effects that are labeled for you?

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;40015804]Well fuck. After almost 5 days of doubling my medication (100mg to 200mg fluvoxamine), I still feel like absolute shit and the intrusive thoughts are still here.[/QUOTE] Give it a while, and also a big mistake people make is relying on the medication to make you better. You need to start changing what is making you depressed, i.e stop taking everything so personal, do some excersie to get some self confidence. If you don't want to go to the gym then buy some free weights and do like 10 reps every day you'll start feeling less insecure about the way you look. I know you have issues with the way you look and a lot of people feel the need to rip on you because of those, start focusing on other aspects of your body .get a haircut that YOU think looks good, if all haircuts look shitty then grow it for a bit and use some hair products or something to get a look your comfortable with. When you start improving aspects of your life, the luvox will hopefully amplify the effects and you'll start feeling a lot better. Taking anti-depressants but sitting at home all dya and continuing to get those self-doubt sort of feelings won't fix anything, but if you put some effort in on your end you'll start not giving a shit about the way you look and realise there are people out there who will respect you despite how you look or act. We all have bad aspects about our looks that will be there for life (except the lucky few) but most of the time its our own insecurities from people taking the piss at a young age. Most people mature and will stop bringing up your insecurities because it shows how much of a dick you are (and no likes a dickhead)

Today, my gender identity problems and complete lack of self-worth have reached such a point where I no longer consider myself a person rather than simply a terrible person.

[QUOTE=DiscoInferno;40018376]Today, my gender identity problems and complete lack of self-worth have reached such a point where I no longer consider myself a person rather than simply a terrible person.[/QUOTE] Why do you feel this way? And is there anyway to break free from this state of being? Anyone you can go to, places you can go, so on? Why would you think yourself a terrible person? Is it more self-worth that is the issue or the gender identity?

[QUOTE=Vaught;40018465]Why do you feel this way? And is there anyway to break free from this state of being? Anyone you can go to, places you can go, so on? Why would you think yourself a terrible person? Is it more self-worth that is the issue or the gender identity?[/QUOTE] Why? Because I haven't done anything to deserve any love or care. The only way I can think of to break free is the right treatments for my gender problems and a way to undo 8 years od stunted social development. I have online friends to talk to (I spoke to one today who tried to help but I was too stubborn) and upcoming appointments with my GP and mental health nurse/care co-ordinator whatever her job is. I don't think of myself as a terrible person anymore, I don't think of myself as a person, I just pretend to exist. I think the gender identity issues are the root of the problem... maybe, I don't know.

Well Facepunch, I am feeling extremely depressed, and I know exactly why: I am losing my dog. I know this might be an odd/inappropriate thing to post about, but if there is anything that is causing me anxiety and stress (as if I didn't have plenty of both to begin with), its this. My dog , which we named "Maddie", is perhaps one of the only living things I know that I find to be completely incapable of anything other than displaying love. She is an old dog, a samoyed, about 11 or 12, and lately she hasn't been doing too well to begin with. Earlier this year, she had developed an infection, on top of losing some of her hair and having black blotches start to grow where her hair once was. We took her into the vet, fearing that her condition was terminal, only to return happy with the knowledge that her condition (the infection, at least) was treatable, and she might just have had a new lease on life. About a month passed, and she seemed to improve, but she stayed on the fairly high dose of antibiotics, and continues to do so. Despite the hundreds we spent on trying to get her better, more problems kept popping up... About a week ago, she was having difficulty getting up and moving around, which seemed to clear up after a day or two, but now, she can hardly control her urinary functions (she just peed on the carpet for the third time today) and has been whimpering/crying/whining almost non-stop. It started shortly after we gave her a bath today, and it really peaked today after I went out to eat and play some bowling/old arcade games with my dad. I fear the worst. The last thing I want is for her to be in constant suffering, and her next Vet appointment is on Tuesday. However, we are at a loss for what to do, and the Vet is closed tomorrow, so my dad is considering taking monday off from work to take her in, which I fear will be a one-way trip for her. Knowing that we might not have much time left with her, my parents got out the camera and started taking pictures of her. I myself took a two minute long video using my smartphone camera. I cant remember the last time I was this heavy-stomached and anxious. I feel like I am on the verge of tears, and that it is just not going to get any better. I knew from the day that we got her that we were eventually going to lose her, but I just can't bear this. I don't know if anyone else on FP ever had this sort of bond with a pet, but this is just so saddening to witness. I am silently hoping that this issue is merely something minor, and could be fixed with medicine, but I deep down know that there is only so much a dog can take, and that all things must come to an end. So here I am sitting at my computer desk; red eyed, depressed, and sad. I doubt I will be able to sleep much tonight, so I am just looking for some way to take my mind off of things. EDIT: Peeking in the kitchen, she has appeared to calm down a bit, so I am hoping with all of my might that she starts feeling better. :smith:

[QUOTE=DiscoInferno;40018513]Why? Because I haven't done anything to deserve any love or care. The only way I can think of to break free is the right treatments for my gender problems and a way to undo 8 years od stunted social development. I have online friends to talk to (I spoke to one today who tried to help but I was too stubborn) and upcoming appointments with my GP and mental health nurse/care co-ordinator whatever her job is. I don't think of myself as a terrible person anymore, I don't think of myself as a person, I just pretend to exist. I think the gender identity issues are the root of the problem... maybe, I don't know.[/QUOTE] Not sure how to approach this, really. You have the depression mindset dominating you right now. I get the impression that this gender identity problems confuse you as to you've no idea how you're supposed to act in what what and it is stressing you out completely. One idea might be just to not think about it if you can. Have you discussed these kinds of feelings with your GP and health nurse person? Or is this feeling new to you? [editline]24th March 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Lyonidis;40018580]Well Facepunch, I am feeling extremely depressed, and I know exactly why: I am losing my dog. I know this might be an odd/inappropriate thing to post about, but if there is anything that is causing me anxiety and stress (as if I didn't have plenty of both to begin with), its this. My dog , which we named "Maddie", is perhaps one of the only living things I know that I find to be completely incapable of anything other than displaying love. She is an old dog, a samoyed, about 11 or 12, and lately she hasn't been doing too well to begin with. Earlier this year, she had developed an infection, on top of losing some of her hair and having black blotches start to grow where her hair once was. We took her into the vet, fearing that her condition was terminal, only to return happy with the knowledge that her condition (the infection, at least) was treatable, and she might just have had a new lease on life. About a month passed, and she seemed to improve, but she stayed on the fairly high dose of antibiotics, and continues to do so. Despite the hundreds we spent on trying to get her better, more problems kept popping up... About a week ago, she was having difficulty getting up and moving around, which seemed to clear up after a day or two, but now, she can hardly control her urinary functions (she just peed on the carpet for the third time today) and has been whimpering/crying/whining almost non-stop. It started shortly after we gave her a bath today, and it really peaked today after I went out to eat and play some bowling/old arcade games with my dad. I fear the worst. The last thing I want is for her to be in constant suffering, and her next Vet appointment is on Tuesday. However, we are at a loss for what to do, and the Vet is closed tomorrow, so my dad is considering taking monday off from work to take her in, which I fear will be a one-way trip for her. Knowing that we might not have much time left with her, my parents got out the camera and started taking pictures of her. I myself took a two minute long video using my smartphone camera. I cant remember the last time I was this heavy-stomached and anxious. I feel like I am on the verge of tears, and that it is just not going to get any better. I knew from the day that we got her that we were eventually going to lose her, but I just can't bear this. I don't know if anyone else on FP ever had this sort of bond with a pet, but this is just so saddening to witness. I am silently hoping that this issue is merely something minor, and could be fixed with medicine, but I deep down know that there is only so much a dog can take, and that all things must come to an end. So here I am sitting at my computer desk; red eyed, depressed, and sad. I doubt I will be able to sleep much tonight, so I am just looking for some way to take my mind off of things. EDIT: Peeking in the kitchen, she has appeared to calm down a bit, so I am hoping with all of my might that she starts feeling better. :smith:[/QUOTE] Having watched three pets go through their final phases of life in my house, I can safely say this is a natural thing. Having bonded with someone or something and losing it will cause a great amount of grief. That's the circle of life, sadly. Things come, things go. The most you can really do for your dog is to try to make its last days as comfortable as possible. Make it end on a happy note. There's really nothing else one can do bar choking the powers of a god from them and using it to grant your pet infinite vigor and health. There's only so much you can do medically before you realize the dog is on its last legs. Like I said, try to spend more time with the dog and make them feel loved. Loss and heartbreak are just lessons of life almost everyone goes through. It hurts, I know. I may be biased since its happened three times.

[QUOTE=Vaught;40018695]Not sure how to approach this, really. You have the depression mindset dominating you right now. I get the impression that this gender identity problems confuse you as to you've no idea how you're supposed to act in what what and it is stressing you out completely. One idea might be just to not think about it if you can. Have you discussed these kinds of feelings with your GP and health nurse person? Or is this feeling new to you?[/QUOTE] It's never been this bad before.

I experienced anxiety just about 3 weeks ago for the first time, after since then I've had Anxiety and Depersonalizatoin but no Panic attacks. I've been talking to a therapist and I'm doing all I can to keep hope, I decided not to take medicine unless I really have to. I was recommended SSRI medicine for half a year as a cure, it works for many apparently but I decided therapy is better as a first step. Does anybody have experience with this? Will it get better? I have not been traumized or anything, it just came suddenly and most likely because I've stressed myself too much through my school work and worrying about things.

[QUOTE=Vaught;40016213]Is that doctor recommended? Seems a bit excessive. Either the side-effects are kicking your ass or you're having an adverse reaction to it. Might want to talk to the guy who prescribed that stuff to you. Last thing you want is anti-depressants that make depression worse. How often do you take it? Do you take it in the middle of the day or when you go to bed? Any side effects that are labeled for you?[/QUOTE] It's doctor recommended. [editline]24th March 2013[/editline] There's one side effect that's really getting me. I kept saying I don't think it should be increased but the doctor basically pulled the "I know what's best for you" card.

[QUOTE=DiscoInferno;40020036]It's never been this bad before.[/QUOTE] Do you still feel like that now? Or do you feel a little bit better? Sometimes we have our down days for no reason, then it picks up the day after. [editline]24th March 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=Veniathan;40024884]I experienced anxiety just about 3 weeks ago for the first time, after since then I've had Anxiety and Depersonalizatoin but no Panic attacks. I've been talking to a therapist and I'm doing all I can to keep hope, I decided not to take medicine unless I really have to. I was recommended SSRI medicine for half a year as a cure, it works for many apparently but I decided therapy is better as a first step. Does anybody have experience with this? Will it get better? I have not been traumized or anything, it just came suddenly and most likely because I've stressed myself too much through my school work and worrying about things.[/QUOTE] Seems to me like general anxiety. About life, about your future, family, etc. If you feel it is becoming a real issue in your life and need to see a therapist, there's not shame in that. It might just be related to the things you're worrying about, which would lead to anxiety, as well as the stress over school work, which'll lead you through a billion questions that'll no doubt drive you nuts. Make sure to note that medicine alone won't solve a problem, but medicine and therapy combined could have much better results. However, like you already said, therapy first would be a good first step.

[QUOTE=Vaught;40025475]Do you still feel like that now? Or do you feel a little bit better? Sometimes we have our down days for no reason, then it picks up the day after.[/QUOTE] I feel better today.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;40024910]It's doctor recommended. [editline]24th March 2013[/editline] There's one side effect that's really getting me. I kept saying I don't think it should be increased but the doctor basically pulled the "I know what's best for you" card.[/QUOTE] Not much you can do about doctors throwing their superiority at you. If you feel you don't need the amount being prescribed, you can either: - Not take it and go to the therapy sessions. To me it sounds like your therapist is one of those 'give happy pill, call it a day' folks (Psychiatrist if so) - Cut the pill up so you don't take so much at a time. Is it one of those solid white pills or one of those colored can-pull-apart types? - Find OTC alternatives. Might be the last ditch effort you want to make since OTC meds have a lot of other problems that go along with it. I really think that's far too much to administer when it comes to anti-depressants but I'm not a doctor. Just remember, like someone else said, taking medicine alone won't fix the problem, it'll only put a bandaid on it. You'll have to expose yourself to situations you first found apprehensive while using the meds to slowly get a leg up. Of course, everyone is different, so I really can't 100% guarantee this. [editline]24th March 2013[/editline] [QUOTE=DiscoInferno;40025560]I feel better today.[/QUOTE] That's good. Keep tabs on everything and, when the emotions come back, try to note down the cause and see if you can eliminate that or at least push it aside.

[QUOTE=Vaught;40025475]Do you still feel like that now? Or do you feel a little bit better? Sometimes we have our down days for no reason, then it picks up the day after. [editline]24th March 2013[/editline] Seems to me like general anxiety. About life, about your future, family, etc. If you feel it is becoming a real issue in your life and need to see a therapist, there's not shame in that. It might just be related to the things you're worrying about, which would lead to anxiety, as well as the stress over school work, which'll lead you through a billion questions that'll no doubt drive you nuts. Make sure to note that medicine alone won't solve a problem, but medicine and therapy combined could have much better results. However, like you already said, therapy first would be a good first step.[/QUOTE] Thanks for the input on that, I just want this to begone. I've read that people get rid of it layer by layer and feel much better. I know medicine alone wont do it, of course. That is why I decided not to take SSRIs yet. I want to go for CBT first and if that helps then I can handle the rest of my anxiety with will and work/exercise and what not.

[QUOTE=Veniathan;40025654]Thanks for the input on that, I just want this to begone. I've read that people get rid of it layer by layer and feel much better. I know medicine alone wont do it, of course. That is why I decided not to take SSRIs yet. I want to go for CBT first and if that helps then I can handle the rest of my anxiety with will and work/exercise and what not.[/QUOTE] Seems you've already a plan on how to handle it then. Good, I hope everything works out for you c:

whenever i see the name "maddie" i want to kill myself not your fault, it's my problem

[QUOTE=Neat!;40025822]whenever i see the name "maddie" i want to kill myself not your fault, it's my problem[/QUOTE] That's rather extreme. Why do you feel that way?

[QUOTE=Vaught;40025845]That's rather extreme. Why do you feel that way?[/QUOTE] fell in love too easily let someone hurt me like i've never been hurt before my heart is stuck on my sleeve and it'll be the death of me

[QUOTE=Neat!;40025872]fell in love too easily let someone hurt me like i've never been hurt before my heart is stuck on my sleeve and it'll be the death of me[/QUOTE] Ah. Heartbreak is always hard to get over. The only thing you can do is try to forget about it, albeit thats easier said than done. Like I've said before, it's just one of those unfortunate lessons of life almost everyone goes through.

[QUOTE=Vaught;40025932]Ah. Heartbreak is always hard to get over. The only thing you can do is try to forget about it, albeit thats easier said than done. Like I've said before, it's just one of those unfortunate lessons of life almost everyone goes through.[/QUOTE] yeah love doesn't seem worth it

[QUOTE=Neat!;40025945]yeah love doesn't seem worth it[/QUOTE] I cant really comment on this since my own bias sorta agrees, but life has a funny way of changing.

[QUOTE=Vaught;40025567]Not much you can do about doctors throwing their superiority at you. If you feel you don't need the amount being prescribed, you can either: - Not take it and go to the therapy sessions. To me it sounds like your therapist is one of those 'give happy pill, call it a day' folks (Psychiatrist if so) - Cut the pill up so you don't take so much at a time. Is it one of those solid white pills or one of those colored can-pull-apart types? - Find OTC alternatives. Might be the last ditch effort you want to make since OTC meds have a lot of other problems that go along with it. I really think that's far too much to administer when it comes to anti-depressants but I'm not a doctor. Just remember, like someone else said, taking medicine alone won't fix the problem, it'll only put a bandaid on it. You'll have to expose yourself to situations you first found apprehensive while using the meds to slowly get a leg up. Of course, everyone is different, so I really can't 100% guarantee this. [editline]24th March 2013[/editline] That's good. Keep tabs on everything and, when the emotions come back, try to note down the cause and see if you can eliminate that or at least push it aside.[/QUOTE] I can't get into therapy for about 2-4 months (yay line ups) It wasn't prescribed by my actual doctor, it was just some walk in clinic guy. I told him I had thoughts of suicide and I felt like complete trash, and he just doubled my medication and gave me a pat on the back.

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;40026086]I can't get into therapy for about 2-4 months (yay line ups) It wasn't prescribed by my actual doctor, it was just some walk in clinic guy. I told him I had thoughts of suicide and I felt like complete trash, and he just doubled my medication and gave me a pat on the back.[/QUOTE] Figures. BigPharma bias aside, I'd take whatever suggestions he gave with a grain of salt. If you absolutely must take the medication, take it sparingly or cut it up until you can get an actual session together. Make sure to take notes on whatever you're experiencing, when, and the type of medication you're on. Every little bit helps.

[QUOTE=Vaught;40026820]Figures. BigPharma bias aside, I'd take whatever suggestions he gave with a grain of salt. If you absolutely must take the medication, take it sparingly or cut it up until you can get an actual session together. Make sure to take notes on whatever you're experiencing, when, and the type of medication you're on. Every little bit helps.[/QUOTE] I'll keep a journal where I can spread all my angst teenager emotions onto. I think on Friday ill start reducing my medication a little bit, starting at 175mg for 3 days, 150mg for another 3 days, ect ect. I literally feel no emotion most of the time, other than sorrow. I can't even talk to my fucking e-relationship long fucking distance suicidal boyfriend without fear of saying something that gets him depressed because I'm always in this shitty mood.

Whenever I start feeling down it just gets progressively worse to the point that right now I feel as bad as when I had pneumonia recently. This has been happening on a weekly basis and it's getting harder to deal with and I don't really know what to do.

Just thought I'd get a bit of advice, since joining college this year (UK) I've had nothing but bad feelings. I joined the college and instantly disliked it, I think a combination of my choice of subjects, the fact that I'm locked into those subjects and have no choice to pick anything else, the way my tutors don't care about me, the fact that I've not got nearly as many friends as I did in High School (I could talk to anybody I wanted too in High School and had a great time, however at college I've only got a select few friends that aren't really anything to die for), it's all just bringing me down My attendance to College has been atrocious, I think it's around 69% at the moment, and I'm pretty behind on work. They keep telling me that I'm on my last chance but I keep ignoring it and not attending it, and I've got a feeling that now I'm really going to get told to leave. I've not gone in today, or friday of last week, and I think that tomorrow shit is going to hit the fan. The problem is that I'm incredibly lazy, and have no motivation to do anything. If I wasn't so lazy back in High School I would've got better grades and be in a situation where I could've done what I wanted at college, instead of being forced to take a course that I don't want to do. Now, I know that I need to do everything I can to sort myself out and get back on track - do well on this course so that I've got more options at the end of the two years, but I just keep ignoring this and doing what I want. I keep skipping lessons, even full days, getting behind on work, like I know that in the back of my head they're just going to kick me out anyway. Like now, I've recently recieved an e-mail telling me that my place at the college for the second year isn't guaranteed, and that I might have to move to another college or do something else with my life. I've took this on board, and know that I need to do something about it, yet I've completely ignored it and - again - not bothered to attend today. I hope there's someone on here that can give me some advice on the matter because I really want to stop myself from fucking up even further. [editline]25th March 2013[/editline] sorry if this doesn't make much sense it was an impulse post

Hey guys, I've read these threads quite a bit and they've always somewhat comforted me, but this is really my first post in them, I don't like talking about my problems on the internet for whatever reason, but lately I don't know what to do with myself, I dropped out of school last year and I went back this year (I'm in year 11 by the way, but I would've been in 12 if I didn't drop out.) I don't really know what happened last year, I just felt sad all the time, I had near to no friends (I had changed schools) and was struggling in school work, and the year prior all my friends seemed to just want to distance themselves from me I also got bullied quite a bit. I haven't really seen any of them in around two years, I just felt like I was just a waste of space, I got into a few verbal fights with my parents and ended up getting kicked out of the house a couple of times, I just felt like I was a un-grateful asshole and everyone around me would benefit if I was just gone, I came close killing myself a couple of times but I could never bring myself to actually do it, maybe because I'm a coward I don't really know. I went to a shrink last year a bit, he told me I had social anxiety and depression, I don't really know how I got like that.. I mean at a stage my home life wasn't exactly the best according to another person I went to (a school councilor) I was "abused" a bit but most of those physical things I had brought onto myself and they were my fault, but my home life wasn't ever god awful, I just felt like I was just taking all the effort my parents had put into me for granted.. so I decided to take a break from school life and get a job and such, and I did, It made me feel pretty good about myself, I still felt sad from time to time but I tried my best to mask it. I am back at school now and it's made me feel so many mixed emotions, I feel good that I'm getting along with my life and such, but at the same time I just can't help but feel sad all the time, the few friends I knew have moved on all except one, every time I have free time I usually go to him and hang out, but the times where I can't find him I usually just go find a quite place and read, I feel like all I do is bring him down and irritate him though.. basically everyday lately has been somewhat like that, till recently, I got the flu last week and thus I didn't go to school for a couple days, My parents thought that I was going to drop out or something, and I'm not even 100 percent sure the thought hadn't crossed my mind, anyway my dad gave me this pretty moving speech about how when he was young he broke his leg and his friends carried him home and that my "Internet Friends" would never be able to do that for me, It's pretty clear that he's disappointed in me, I mean I understand where he's coming from and I don't blame him for it, it's my fault, eventually that lead into a pretty heated argument and I ended up storming off for a couple hours, I got home around dark and everyone in my house was asleep, I just sat down by front of the door for a bit staring at the sky, I had planned to do it, I was going to kill myself that night, I went and got one of my shaving razors and sat on my bed, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, I was scared of what the afterlife was, and that if I did this all the time and effort my friends and family put into me would all be wasted.. I don't really know how to describe all the other thoughts that crossed my head, they all sort of seem like a garbeled mess trying to think about it now.. but anyway that brings me to now, Lately I've just been getting this I guess random attacks where I feel both sad, disappointed and mad at myself all the same time, I'm just a fucking asshole that's wasting my life and my family's time and complaining about my problems when there are plenty of people are in worse situations than me.. I don't really know what to do, should I just try to get over it? I'm currently trying to make new friends but I can't help but feel like they don't want me around, should I try getting counselling?. I'm sorry for the huge block of text, and that I rambled a lot, and all the typos.

posted this in another thread untill I found this one but yeah, Sometimes I don't get up in the morning. This was one of those days, I woke up at 8 am and just couldn't bring myself to go to school so I lay there untill my dad came home an hour later and had one of those mad outbreaks. And so I lay in bed awake untill 5 pm. And this is what bothers me; my parents can be mad at me, they can have their outbreaks when they feel I've let them down.. But what about me? What the hell am I supposed to be mad at, what am I supposed to yell at and insult? The thin air? Myself?