Depression, anxiety, suicidalism and similar disorders, issues and troubles V3 - Discussion, help an - General

[QUOTE=gk99;46761436]I can't even watch the local news or check Facebook anymore, if I do I'll burst into tears when the crash and pictures of the now mangled truck inevitably show up. Like, seeing [URL="http://puu.sh/dDdmG/16cc3ff0a9.jpg"]this[/URL] and knowing that that truck is what I used to get into and get dropped off at school every day by him just makes this unbearable. All the shit I've ever complained about ever just feels so petty now, nothing compares to this. Nothing's ever made me want to just curl up and die as much as this, whether it was a bully, my friends ignoring me, being just fucking lonely, or anything, this is the singular worst thing that's ever happened in my life. I keep thinking to myself when I see the time "I wonder when dad's going to get home" and then it just hits me again, time after time that he isn't going to come home ever again. I can't fucking take this, I don't even have anything to distract me because I've got two weeks off and I'd rather just be alone instead of having a face-to-face heart-to-heart talk about it with anyone. At least if I was at school, I could just spend all of my time concentrating on my grades, studying for a test, making sure my lower-end grades don't drop to Cs, but no, I'm just sitting here in this house I've lived with him for 16 years in. I would give anything to have him back, I'd fucking cut off all of my limbs to have him back. I feel like shit every time I think about any time I ever disappointed him or anything, because I feel like I'll never be able to make it up to him. Before we left to drop me off at school, I heard the truck start outside, and the past two days I'd had to get a text saying "Cmon" before I shut off my PS3 and sprinted outside, and I didn't want to be late today so I did that as soon as I heard the truck. When I got out there, he said to me: [B]"Oh, I'm not ready to go yet."[/B] and I can't fucking help but feel that had two meanings. I can't type anymore, I'm going to die of dehydration at the rate I'm crying at right now[/QUOTE] Your dad wouldn't want you to be upset, he always did and always will want you to be happy. While he may have passed on, he will always be a huge part of you, a huge part of what makes you the person you are today, and you'll never lose that. Death is never fair, it's never at the right time and it always hurts us. Right now it is entirely normal to feel terrible, and I'd like to tell you you'll get passed it and move on. Truth is, you won't. You will eventually be able to be happy, to have a focus on your future again, to worry about other things. It takes time to get there, but you'll always miss him and you'll always wonder what life would've been like had he still been there. But know that he wants you to succeed, to be happy, to have all of your dreams come to life, and nobody can take away from the values, lessons and love he gave you. Again, I'm very sorry you are going through this, and I've been there myself. It makes life seem like a living nightmare, but just hang in there, I guarantee you will be happy, you will find a way to have peace of mind, and fulfill your aspirations. If you ever need to talk, you can PM me.

[QUOTE=I Am Dumb;46761385]Well, if these people that you socialize with are rejecting you, you're honestly the bigger person for giving them so much as the time of day. I think a large part of your "identity crisis" stems from some sort of change in your life, I'm not sure what that would be for you, but for me, when my father died was one. I remember constantly wanting to be a new person, change my look, my activities, my friends, pretty much everything. I realized after going through this multiple times, usually over a lost family member or loved one that the best thing to do is to be the person you look up to. It's tough to go through life feeling like no one cares, but when you start to care for yourself and become your own biggest fan, people will typically take notice of that and you will begin to meet people who deserve your friendship because you will know and effortlessly express the amazing person you really are. You are incredible, you just have to realize that, learn to love it and realize that the people who don't support you don't love themselves. And I'd like to also say, if this is the first time you've felt this way, it happens more than once for most of us. We all have moments where we lose our sense of direction, our sense of self, and begin questioning who we really are. You just need to remember that who you are isn't defined by clothing, by the music you listen to, the friends you have or the car you drive. What defines you is your ability to love and be loved, whether you know it or not there are plenty of people who love you for who you are, maybe even some of these friends you have, whether they show it or not, but the most important thing in life especially when faced with these problems is to love yourself, do the things that make you proud, and don't worry one bit about what anyone else thinks of it.[/QUOTE] yeah, definitely a good idea to learn to love yourself before you try to give that love away to anyone else. not sure what I can do to "learn" to love myself though. I suppose I could target things I'm the most self aware about, like my body. stance, weight, shape, etc, are all wrong in my eyes so doesn't sound like a too bad place to start. lose some pounds worth of fat and gain some muscle. it's a lot of work and I haven't had much luck with it in the past, but I don't know what else I could possibly target. I feel that a lot of my problems related to me being self aware of myself is my body. I really want to pull through with getting fit, but just the thought of it makes me nauseous and brings up a lot of excuses for why I shouldn't. I don't know where to begin, and what if this doesn't work either? what if I end up in a cycle where I'm never satisfied with my progress? never good enough? that things don't go fast enough? then when I think of it, in the end I only want to do this to impress others again. am I really doing this for myself, or is it solely for others impression of me? I suppose just standing in it will get me somewhere eventually, but it requires a lot of determination which I've lacked in the past. [editline]21st December 2014[/editline] you know, it'd be fucking great to actually accomplish this then look back and think "I actually did it". I always get these surges of motivations, but they're usually gone after the first week of working out.

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I feel like garbage today. This recent anti-pedophile crusade has gotten me thinking about myself. Honestly, I used to be into that underage guy anime trash when I was 16-17. I filled my head with dumb bullshit saying "It was okay because I'm not an adult!" when that doesn't matter or "They're probably about 16" when they were like 13 or 14 or spoiler [sp]I actually want to look like one of them.[/sp] I fucking hate admitting that last part. It's escapism taken to a whole other fucking level; It replaced the furry shit into something arguably worse. I hate my body, I hate myself, I hate everything about me and there's nothing I can do about it so I distract myself with bullshit sexual or non-sexual fantasies instead of doing legitimate things to make the problem go away. "Oh just lose some weight" "Oh just become a better person" Go fuck yourself that's harder than it sounds. I have literally no motivation to lose weight and becoming a better person hard without any fucking reliable mental health in this area. I had to cut the shit on my own and that came with undesirable side effects such as - Tendencies to have outbursts about how bullshit the furry fandom is when no one cares - Tendencies to get carried away with insults to make myself feel better - Intrusive thoughts about going back - Others saying "Oh you used to be a furry and you still are one in denial" fucking prove it or I am going to make an even wilder claim that you're only being a shitlord because you're upset I grew the fuck up and cut the bullshit with the fantasy trash and you didn't because you don't have the balls to go through what I went through

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;46779307] I fucking hate admitting that last part. It's escapism taken to a whole other fucking level; It replaced the furry shit into something arguably worse. I hate my body, I hate myself, I hate everything about me and there's nothing I can do about it so I distract myself with bullshit sexual or non-sexual fantasies instead of doing legitimate things to make the problem go away. "Oh just lose some weight" "Oh just become a better person" Go fuck yourself that's harder than it sounds. I have literally no motivation to lose weight and becoming a better person hard without any fucking reliable mental health in this area.[/QUOTE] it's no easy task to drastically turn ones life around to fit a more healthy lifestyle / lose weight and keep it that way, but truth to be told, one just has to jump in it else nothing will happen. talking about how you have no motivation and can't do it without therapy might not be as true as you might think, you may be creating self made prophecies that go true.

[QUOTE=PredGD;46780004]it's no easy task to drastically turn ones life around to fit a more healthy lifestyle / lose weight and keep it that way, but truth to be told, one just has to jump in it else nothing will happen. talking about how you have no motivation and can't do it without therapy might not be as true as you might think, you may be creating self made prophecies that go true.[/QUOTE] The only time I had motivation was when I had an abusive online boyfriend when I was 16 and it eventually started to fade away after I started to ask "Why are homosexuals so fucked up" so that made me even more depressed after quite a while. It's not because of just him, just all the people I hate and who hate are homosexuals. I literally met like 3 or 4 people that were gay that seemed pretty chill out of like 20-30

snp

[QUOTE=ROFLBURGER;46781619]The only time I had motivation was when I had an abusive online boyfriend when I was 16 and it eventually started to fade away after I started to ask "Why are homosexuals so fucked up" so that made me even more depressed after quite a while. It's not because of just him, just all the people I hate and who hate are homosexuals. I literally met like 3 or 4 people that were gay that seemed pretty chill out of like 20-30[/QUOTE] Maybe you shouldn't be trying to get a healthier lifestyle because of others, that's really something you should be doing for yourself, not the people you're dating. My life got way better when I just started doing things to help myself instead of just waiting for someone to come along and fix me. Can't say I was that motivated, but eventually you just kind of have to start working on yourself. I ended up getting more motivated the more I did it.

Hey, just saw this thread and thought I'd chime in. I personally have been struggling with Depression, and my sister has a lot more severe version of it (cutting, mulitple suicide attempts, checked into mental hospital for a bit). I've been talking to my sister a lot this winter break, and something that's helped us is spending a lot of time talking about our thought processes. I would recommend a book (or series of quotations) called "[URL="http://www.philaletheians.co.uk/Study%20notes/Living%20the%20Life/Marcus%20Aurelius'%20Meditations%20-%20tr.%20Casaubon.pdf"]Meditations[/URL]" written about Stoic philosophy back in the Greek times. It surprisingly has a lot in common with Eastern philosophy written around the same time. It's helped us a lot. In fact, regular meditation and general mindfulness has been helpful for a lot more in my life than just dealing with mental illness. Obviously everyone is different when it comes to the entire depression/anxiety spectrum, but I thought I'd share what helped us. Good luck, everybody.

This is how life feels like most of the time. [img_thumb]http://i.imgur.com/9AAMXKE.jpg[/img_thumb] It's probably old, but I just saw it today and it really resonated with me and I had a laugh.

Family Christmas celebration, already a week ahead my mom begs me not to smoke weed for the holidays, like it's something I don't pay the utmost respect for. I show up, sober as ever. Everywhere's fart jokes and heavy beer-smelling chuckles, but that's family for you. And then it all begins, from the very second someone mentions the presents. Let's back it up a year for my 22th birthday, 4th of April. Sister decides to pull me aside, and requests me to inform her on future incidents where there won't be presents. She tells me it was rather embarrassing how they're giving me presents yet I don't return the favor. Bare in mind that we're both mid-20's, we're both students still, and that since 2012 I've been partly homeless without income so gift's been limited. Forwarding back to the family Christmas celebration, the intense shame of every present's label read without your name. Only gifts received end up being from parents, either gifted to others using my name or gifted to me. I try to play sick by telling others that I've got a bad back, but had I not worn a poker face I'd been tearful. I'm the only one unable to provide anything, not even humor not even materialistic junk. I feel like the black sheep of the family, I don't know what to do and I'm giving up hope. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Sounds to me like you need to explain to your family why you can't provide anything at the moment. I'm sure they will understand so long as you are honest with them. Although to be honest, if you can afford to smoke pot but can't afford gifts for your family, perhaps you have your priorities mixed up. I don't know how much it costs where you are, how much you smoke, etc, but I would consider quitting. I used to smoke about a gram a day for a solid 2 years, spiraled into depression and eventually heavily considered suicide. I quit 4 months ago and I feel a lot better. A lot of aspects of my life are still in the gutter but that's life.

Opened a bunch of gifts I know my Dad got me this morning, including one that just said "To: Dad" with no from on it so my little brother'd assume it was Santa. Turns out that was a PS4, and I bet you it was given by himself to himself so he could make me and my brother share it instead of giving it to one of us. He knew me and my taste in things so much, and I can't even say "thank you." I mean, he even got me things I didn't know I wanted until a few days ago when I was staying over at my cousin's house, a few days after he'd passed, like The Evil Within. I'd played through some of the demo and gone "Eh, it looks nice but there's a lot of linearity and it feels a tad like Heavy Rain or similar," while it's actually way different and I probably would've figured that out had I played it longer. Also: Advanced Warfare, which I hadn't told him I wanted but absolutely loved playing during the free weekend, a new desk chair, a laserpointer, and he picked out my favorite shirt out of all of the clothing I got. None of which I'd told him I wanted (or honestly, needed when we're talking about the deskchair) but he just knew I'd like. At least the sadness of all of this is combated by the fact that I'm pissed that PSN is down right now and I can't even play either of the two aforementioned games.

[QUOTE=Tools;46788335]Family Christmas celebration, already a week ahead my mom begs me not to smoke weed for the holidays, like it's something I don't pay the utmost respect for. I show up, sober as ever. Everywhere's fart jokes and heavy beer-smelling chuckles, but that's family for you. And then it all begins, from the very second someone mentions the presents. Let's back it up a year for my 22th birthday, 4th of April. Sister decides to pull me aside, and requests me to inform her on future incidents where there won't be presents. She tells me it was rather embarrassing how they're giving me presents yet I don't return the favor. Bare in mind that we're both mid-20's, we're both students still, and that since 2012 I've been partly homeless without income so gift's been limited. Forwarding back to the family Christmas celebration, the intense shame of every present's label read without your name. Only gifts received end up being from parents, either gifted to others using my name or gifted to me. I try to play sick by telling others that I've got a bad back, but had I not worn a poker face I'd been tearful. I'm the only one unable to provide anything, not even humor not even materialistic junk. I feel like the black sheep of the family, I don't know what to do and I'm giving up hope. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.[/QUOTE] Well if you can't provide shit, don't, don't let morality be a liability

I feel like I easily lose my train of thought when in a social situation. I feel like I'm constantly saying stuff without thinking about it, and when it comes out of my mouth, it sounds so bad compared to what I was hoping to get out. I suppose I need to use my head more when speaking, but it's easy to forget and it could easily become a double edged blade. if I'm less comfortable, I often think but don't speak at all since everything becomes stupid in my head.

[QUOTE=PredGD;46795039]I feel like I easily lose my train of thought when in a social situation. I feel like I'm constantly saying stuff without thinking about it, and when it comes out of my mouth, it sounds so bad compared to what I was hoping to get out. I suppose I need to use my head more when speaking, but it's easy to forget and it could easily become a double edged blade. if I'm less comfortable, I often think but don't speak at all since everything becomes stupid in my head.[/QUOTE] From my perspective I can't agree with you here, when I said to think about what you're saying more I was just joking around!

i had to work all fucking day today so i missed christmas entirely, plus i had no company or anyone to celebrate christmas with anyway since i'm a lonely piece of shit. i want to die so bad, fuck my life

I couldn't help but get so fucking anxious for yesterday. Quite a few horrible things had happened to a few of my friends and around my community since a week before. But no matter how anxious I was, yesterday turned out to be great :) Not memorable, but still great nonetheless. And... Pretty scary for myself to think that the last Yuletide I've spent with a "lover" was back in 2010 :v: but next year RayvenQ may be staying for Yuletide. As well as seeing him in a few months, too :smile: Can't wait!

[QUOTE=gk99;46792919]Opened a bunch of gifts I know my Dad got me this morning, including one that just said "To: Dad" with no from on it so my little brother'd assume it was Santa. Turns out that was a PS4, and I bet you it was given by himself to himself so he could make me and my brother share it instead of giving it to one of us. He knew me and my taste in things so much, and I can't even say "thank you." I mean, he even got me things I didn't know I wanted until a few days ago when I was staying over at my cousin's house, a few days after he'd passed, like The Evil Within. I'd played through some of the demo and gone "Eh, it looks nice but there's a lot of linearity and it feels a tad like Heavy Rain or similar," while it's actually way different and I probably would've figured that out had I played it longer. Also: Advanced Warfare, which I hadn't told him I wanted but absolutely loved playing during the free weekend, a new desk chair, a laserpointer, and he picked out my favorite shirt out of all of the clothing I got. None of which I'd told him I wanted (or honestly, needed when we're talking about the deskchair) but he just knew I'd like. At least the sadness of all of this is combated by the fact that I'm pissed that PSN is down right now and I can't even play either of the two aforementioned games.[/QUOTE] After I read about your dad I knew this moment would eventually come. You're a very strong person for what you're going through right now. You're in my thoughts.

Went to see his body in the funeral home today, felt sick leaving, and just found an old picture from 2002 when I was four with him that says "friends forever" and has a border with smiley faces all around it that was taken at Casa Boneta, apparently. I feel broken. I thought I was doing better, but I'm not. Seeing his face, I just break down.

[url]http://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1443574&p=46801854#post46801854[/url] Sorry for the shameless plug. There's a lot of history behind this video in particular. I've never really talked to anyone about it because it caused me so many problems. The disc was discovered in early 2012 when Science World began cleaning out a number of old exhibits. This 12" laserdisc was one item that the recycling firm I worked for received. We were all dazzled. It was an incredible find. The CBC archives had a copy but it was never publicly available. We spent days going over the thousands of images. Then came the two questions. Who was going to digitize it and how. There were several of us who were skilled in converting analog video formats to digital files and we all did it differently. Personally I only wanted a copy on Umatic tape which was a frame accurate recording medium. For several weeks I attempted to prepare a rig specific to the task and eventually failed due to a breakdown in the recorder. When I decided to instead directly transfer to a digital format I approached my manager requesting an hour to setup and rip the disc. I was denied stating that another employee was going to do it. Frustrated I attempted to resume working on other projects but one September day I inquired again with a less senior manager on the location of the disc. I only needed an hour. The disc would never leave the office. He and another employee did not know where it was so I resumed doing other work. Several days later I returned home form another job to discover this inquiry had trickled up the chain to my manager who was out of the country. I was fired. The next several days are a bit of a blur. There was a lot of things that went wrong. Very wrong. Notably I went after one employee with a crowbar and the other threw me in jail before I could even get dressed the next morning.To this day I beliee it was my parents who bailed me out but they'll never tell me the truth. Over the next three months as two years of establishing connections and a life in Vancouver began to fall apart for various reasons I ran out of money, I suffered a major vehicle breakdown in the united states, I had to withdraw from my other job and returned home to attempt to return to university and continue on with my life, partly because I needed reasons to tell the courts that I wasn't wanting more problems to occur and that I'm aware of, the crown dropped the suit and left me alone but I've never confirmed it. I really do not feel like looking to see what they left on me. After that failed in 2013 there was nothing I could do. I watched my hopes of a future almost completely erode away. The seclusion of where I now live in my parents basement has nearly driven me insane. I'm a drug addict and an alcoholic now. Outside of my one overnight job at the local big box store I really don't have anyone in real life I can talk to. Nobody wants to talk to me. I rarely go out to attempt and socialize. I'm afraid I might screw up again. Now whenever I have the spare time I travel back to vancouver. Originally I lived out of my car or bunked down somewhere on the street but now I'm allowed a night or two in a rat infested building off Hastings. I wander around vancouver at night. This used to be my home. I thought this was where I could get on with my life. I threw it all away over 30 minutes of video. Now here it is. Nearly three years after it all began it's finally online for the world to enjoy, yet towering over me as the achievement that destroyed me. Now please excuse me as I go to work. I need to feel like I'm still doing something important with my life.

Everything I fucking do right now feels meaningless. 'S all I can say right now.

I've never really liked myself but the more time that passes the more I feel like everyone else hates me too. I don't know what to do about it either, I try to tell people how much I like them and that I appreciate the relationship but even when they reply sharing similar feelings I don't believe it. I then go to the extreme opposite and end up not putting any feeling into my interactions and this leads to failing relationships, of which I've had so many lately. I think I should just end all my permanent friendships and just get to know people on a temporary basis. It'd help me avoid the feelings of hatred but I'd probably fall into a pit of depressed loneliness. It just feels like there is no winning situation. Thanks for letting me rant.

Hear me out on this. I joined the military about 3 years ago after musing to my family that it might help get my life in order. They, more or less, forced me into it and I ended up in the Marine Corps Reserves. In those 3 years I've been doing my deal, I've felt nothing but broken and a wreck. A depressed, weak wreck of a human being, wracked with anxiety and paranoia. Paranoia that has me sleeping with a machete by my bedside and a loaded revolver in my drawer. Depression that's put a gun in my mouth multiple times. I've been trying to work past it and find a good thing to come out of joining the military, but I can't. The paycheck isn't great, I get treated like shit, having internal problems with my unit, and the thought of going to drill makes me want to eat a bullet. I've taken it upon myself to remove myself from the Marines. If I stop going to drill, I'll receive either a General or Other-Than-Honorable discharge, which will go on my record, and remove any benefits I had as military. More importantly, though, it'll cause my entire family to think I'm weak and a deserter. They wouldn't be wrong, but they don't understand what it's doing to me. My mother said to my girlfriend that if I left the military she'd kick me out of the house. (We live in a 3 story house that's been in the family. Grandparents on the first floor, Mom, Dad, and siblings on the second, and myself and my girlfriend in the basement. Each floor is basically an apartment.) I don't know what to tell my unit, or my family, but all I know is I can't go back. I feel this doom hanging over my head like a guillotine. After they find out, I'll be kicked out and I don't know where I'll go, or what I'll do. I can't believe that they'd find an organization more important than their own flesh and blood, but that's how they are. I need help.

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[QUOTE=OrkO;46808328]guys i need help and i dont know what to do. i just found out tonight that my sister was raped while she was passed out at a party. i cannot talk about this to anybody i know in real life because everybody knows my sister, and to be honest i dont even feel comfortable talking to my parents or my sister. i don't know what to do or how to react. she has struggled with severe depression, among various medical issues, and the fact that this has happened is so fucking unfair, she's already been dealt a shitty hand in life and its like she can't catch a break. i feel fucking sick. what am i supposed to do, how do i react to this? she is at the hospital now, and the two boys who did it are known and have been reported. but what my sister is thinking right now, i dont even know. and i just dont know what to say or how to react or what to do. i am at a complete loss for words. this is fucking incredible. i sit here hoping those two boys get a good long prison sentence, but as to how to speak with anybody else, i have no idea.[/QUOTE] It's good that she's being taken care of. One of the worst things in this kind of situation is not seeking help and not reporting the incident until it's too late in terms of evidence, like witnesses and other things that can help the investigation. There's not much you can do except support her and those affected by the news. Professionals are involved, authorities are involved and now it's your responsibility to support her among her closest friends and family. It doesn't have to necessarily be talking, just being with them and sharing sympathy can be a big help in letting them know it's OK to feel bad and be at a loss for words. Don't forget to seek support for yourself as well. I'd imagine "tough" to be an understatement when describing the situation, so don't hesitate to talk to your closest friends or a therapist when you need to.

Ah fuck this shit I just want a circle of friends i can hang out with everyday and not feel lonely Is it so much to ask? It's literally all it would take to make me happy

[QUOTE=kyle877;46808125]Hear me out on this. I joined the military about 3 years ago after musing to my family that it might help get my life in order. They, more or less, forced me into it and I ended up in the Marine Corps Reserves. In those 3 years I've been doing my deal, I've felt nothing but broken and a wreck. A depressed, weak wreck of a human being, wracked with anxiety and paranoia. Paranoia that has me sleeping with a machete by my bedside and a loaded revolver in my drawer. Depression that's put a gun in my mouth multiple times. I've been trying to work past it and find a good thing to come out of joining the military, but I can't. The paycheck isn't great, I get treated like shit, having internal problems with my unit, and the thought of going to drill makes me want to eat a bullet. I've taken it upon myself to remove myself from the Marines. If I stop going to drill, I'll receive either a General or Other-Than-Honorable discharge, which will go on my record, and remove any benefits I had as military. More importantly, though, it'll cause my entire family to think I'm weak and a deserter. They wouldn't be wrong, but they don't understand what it's doing to me. My mother said to my girlfriend that if I left the military she'd kick me out of the house. (We live in a 3 story house that's been in the family. Grandparents on the first floor, Mom, Dad, and siblings on the second, and myself and my girlfriend in the basement. Each floor is basically an apartment.) I don't know what to tell my unit, or my family, but all I know is I can't go back. I feel this doom hanging over my head like a guillotine. After they find out, I'll be kicked out and I don't know where I'll go, or what I'll do. I can't believe that they'd find an organization more important than their own flesh and blood, but that's how they are. I need help.[/QUOTE] I'd suggest going to any counsellors or Chaplains that you can, they might be able to help you out and with your problems, hopefully get you medically discharged. [QUOTE=OrkO;46808328]guys i need help and i dont know what to do. i just found out tonight that my sister was raped while she was passed out at a party. i cannot talk about this to anybody i know in real life because everybody knows my sister, and to be honest i dont even feel comfortable talking to my parents or my sister. i don't know what to do or how to react. she has struggled with severe depression, among various medical issues, and the fact that this has happened is so fucking unfair, she's already been dealt a shitty hand in life and its like she can't catch a break. i feel fucking sick. what am i supposed to do, how do i react to this? she is at the hospital now, and the two boys who did it are known and have been reported. but what my sister is thinking right now, i dont even know. and i just dont know what to say or how to react or what to do. i am at a complete loss for words. this is fucking incredible. i sit here hoping those two boys get a good long prison sentence, but as to how to speak with anybody else, i have no idea.[/QUOTE] The most important thing is to be there for her, to support her, even if you don't know a definate thing to do, being there for her is important. Also, feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to,though I can't promise I'll reply immediately (due to timezone vagarties and schedules etc). If you do decide to message me, know that your conversations with me will be absoloutely confidential. I'll also do what I can to try and help you and her, to the best of my ability.

[QUOTE=RayvenQ;46810277]I'd suggest going to any counsellors or Chaplains that you can, they might be able to help you out and with your problems, hopefully get you medically discharged. The most important thing is to be there for her, to support her, even if you don't know a definate thing to do, being there for her is important. Also, feel free to PM me if you want someone to talk to,though I can't promise I'll reply immediately (due to timezone vagarties and schedules etc). If you do decide to message me, know that your conversations with me will be absoloutely confidential. I'll also do what I can to try and help you and her, to the best of my ability.[/QUOTE] I have a talk coming up with my First Sergeant. I'll talk to him about it.

I made a post a week ago, but snipped it because I felt really selfish about it. But I'll share my feelings again because I want to know how others feel about it. Working makes me really depressed. I ended up crying one night before work because of how depressed being at work makes me. I constantly think about other things I could be doing with my life, but where I come from there's not much opportunity for me unless I have a nice sum of money to move away (which also makes me depressed because I've already worked almost 5 years at 3 jobs and haven't gotten myself anywhere in life). I know my family doesn't like to not-work, but I hate working. It just isn't me. It's probably just my depression that's making me feel this way, but I feel bad when we have company meetings and our boss tells us how they only want "career driven people" who "want to find their place in the company and move up" because to me, I don't want to work at a place like that for the rest of my life. Any time I have off of work, I spend playing games with my online friends that I hardly get to see now. I want to take online 3d modeling classes next year, but I'm not sure I'll even have time to do that. At the rate I'm going, I feel like I'm going to be 30 before I even begin working toward my dream job. My parents keep telling me that maybe this job will put my foot in the door for my dream job, but my parents don't understand that taking apart computers isn't the job I want, nor do I want to be someone who repairs computers. They think that's what I want to be just because I'm good at it and don't understand that I want to help design video games. I hate sounding like this because I know people have it worse than I do, but I've never really had someone that could guide me in the right direction. How do I go from the bottom of the barrel to the top? [editline]29th December 2014[/editline] Also, I work for a recycling company and I take apart computers/laptops and list their parts on ebay. It's a simple but really dull job.