[QUOTE=scotland1;23963884]Oh fuck slender man.[/QUOTE]
If you mean the guy outside, that's Tom.
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And that's the last of them.
These threads make me feel better about myself.
I wish we had one of these in Dallas.
Fuck yeah mountian dew, I was in Newqauy and there was a truck handing it out for free, 'twas awesome.
[QUOTE=lemongrapes;23964248]Fuck yeah mountian dew, I was in Newqauy and there was a truck handing it out for free, 'twas awesome.[/QUOTE]
I'm so happy that they brought it to Britain, and that there is a store near me that sells it.
[QUOTE=B-hazard;23963948]
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That is the single greatest image i have ever seen in my life.
[IMG]http://imgur.com/zS2jE.jpg[/IMG]
Who is this mysterious youth? This is none other than John Du Hart V, FacePunch ex-moderator and web developer. What is so special about John, who we affectionately call compwhizii? Well, compwhizii was born on April 22, 1994, meaning he could not legally work without an official work permit until April 22nd of this year. But, as sources have confirmed, compwhizii was commissioned to work on the next version of Facepunch, Facepunch: vb4, for at least two months prior to John's 16th birthday. What does this mean for your benevolent leader, Gary Numan? Well, for one thing, this explicitly violates the [url="http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/statutes/FairLaborStandAct.pdf"]Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938[/url], in the United States Code as [url="http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode29/usc_sec_29_00000201----000-.html"]29 USC §201[/url]. Because Facepunch Studios also engages in interstate commerce (insofar as Garry and his partners profit off of both Facepunch Forums and Garry's Mod in more than one United States state), Facepunch Studios is liable for an $11,000 minimum fine. In accordance to the "hot goods" provision of the FLSA, Facepunch Forums, being a direct result of illegal child labor, must cease shipment; in this instance, [url]www.Facepunch.com[/url] would cease to exist until all applicable fines are paid. Furthermore, the way in which Garry Newman compensates John Du Hart V is wholly and obviously illegal. Wiring money directly overseas (from England to the United States), circumventing constitutional provisions for income tax, is even more troubling than the exploitation of a blissfully ignorant minor. Neglecting to fill out a W-9 form further proves Garry Numan's intent to willfully circumvent the IRS and, in doing so, mock America and Americans. [url="http://www.edd.ca.gov/pdf_pub_ctr/de573ca.pdf"]These "under-the-table" wages take money away from important civil projects like education and healthcare[/url]; working to decrease the American standard of living. Gary Newman hates you, your community and your country.
[IMG]http://imgur.com/5AkjW.jpg[/IMG]
John Du Hart V. Unbeknownst to him, he is being exploited at the expense of not only him but America.
[IMG]http://imgur.com/EBRMk.jpg[/IMG]
Compwhizii purchased this tuxedo with laundered money from none other than Gary Newman.
Garry's penchant for white-collar crime doesn't stop there, however. The two highest-ranking moderators, Hezzy and Dragon, receive compensation for their work (Source: Steam chat with none other than Benji). The meager sum of money wired to them directly from Garry Numan violates the federal minimum wage for both Hezzy, a citizen of Great Britain, and Dragon, an American citizen. The irregular hours and unpredictable nature of moderating such a large community lead to an unprecedented amount of stress on Hezzy and Dragon which clearly warrants at least the federally-mandated minimum wage.
[img]http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/1/10057/505145-garry_newman_1__large.jpg[/img]
The man himself, Gary Numan. Also pictured is the camera he took as a bribe for providing intangible forum services.
Garry Newman's trail of deceit, sadly, does not end there. His nonchalant attitude towards the law corrupted the seemingly incorruptible Benji last year. Benji took bribes, many from minors, in the form of video games. What did Benji do in return? Grant these members Gold Member, and objectively worthless forums upgrade which comes at no cost or difficulty to him.
[IMG]http://imgur.com/60XBy.jpg[/IMG]
Benji, pictured with a prostitute in England's Red District. This prostitute was purchased by 12-year-old forum member ketchup.
What does all of this mean to you, the forumer? Quite simply, posting on Facepunch or buying Garry's Mod is tantamount to exploiting child labor, ignoring the plight of the worker, and using community status in return for
cash bribes. You are a terrible person for posting here insofar as your parents are terrible people for having you or for using blood diamonds to signify their shallow, loveless relationship. Your posting here directly affects the lives of millions, and not because your posts are bad (they are). This is Deeper Than Posting.
How can you atone for your sins? Quite simply, all you need to do is stop posting here forever. I left for months and came here solely to post these shocking revelations. I plan to leave again, for I am not a monster incapable of compassion for the common man. I write these internet words not to incite revolution but to incite thought; too many of you have been too complacent for too long. In reality, you are all complicit in crimes against humanity.
[IMG]http://imgur.com/gROEl.png[/IMG]
Thanks for reading my Facepunch magnum opus! Hopefully the words I wrote convince you to reconsider your position here. You know the consequences of continuing to post. Whether or not you decide to stop is up to you. Knowledge is power.
[IMG]http://imgur.com/17w2B.jpg[/IMG]
Fight The Power. RIP Radio Raheem.
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