[QUOTE=Lone_Star94;29486830]Give the seagulls an Alka Seltzer sandwich and De-Con to the rest. Fireworks also work really well.[/QUOTE]
This x100. I was staying at a super fuckin nice hotel with my friend and his dad for his birthday and the hotel had swans or some shit that just wondered around the bar and pool area. Someone gave a bird an alkaseltzer and it exploded on the glass wall dividing the pool and bar. Shit was hilarious
So what. I'm a horse lover. It's cool it's cool, chill chill it's bufu man it's bufu.
[QUOTE=D2K5S1;29486182]Isn't it just a myth?[/QUOTE]
The rice? Possibly but feeding sea gulls alka-seltzer will rupture their internal organs because sea gulls have no gag reflex so there is an incredible amount of pressure buildup. I think generally the difference between different kinds of birds is skin deep (size, color, feet, beaks etc. . .) so I'm gonna guess and say none of them have gag reflexes and that this will work on all of them.
"My mom's a bird lover"...
[img]http://www.facepunch.com/image.php?u=401924&dateline=1303461284[/img] <-- Come clean here... you get off to birds too, don'tcha?
My mother is a birdlover too, we wont never get a cat cuz they kill birds.
[QUOTE=Rama214;29489023]My mother is a birdlover too, we wont never get a cat cuz they kill birds.[/QUOTE]
Genius!
OP, get a cat. Or five.
Calm down honey bunny. Not that big of a deal there muffin.
[QUOTE=D2K5S1;29486182]Isn't it just a myth?[/QUOTE]
Yes.
Move your mother to a nice a retirement home.
Usually fixes everyone's problems with the elderly.
BB Gun.
Naw but in all seriousness what you can do to scare off SOME birds is put up shiny plastic strips around your yard which blow in the wind. This should help scare some of the birds off, but it may attract ravens. Honestly there's not much you can do besides some low-powered airsoft shots... they shouldn't kill the bigger birds, but be careful what you shoot at since uhhh... the plastic will attract ravens and if you shoot at them every single raven in the neighborhood will try to kill you in a matter of days. No I'm not kidding.
This is what you do.
First you take a breadloaf, a stick of dynamite a bit shorter than the breadloaf and make sure to have a fuse of about 30 seconds on it.
Jam the stick of dynamite into the breadloaf so that it looks like a simple breadloaf with a string coming out from it (The birds won't give a shit about the "string" anyway)
Now light the fuse, toss the breadloaf into a big pack of birds and run the fuck away. Alot of birds will probably flock around the meatloaf because it's big and it's food. 30 second's later and most of the bird problems should be gone.
This is only assuming you can get your hands on such an amount of dynamite and/or have the mental strength to kill a whole flock of birds.
[QUOTE=GREN EYGS N HAM;29490543]This is what you do.
First you take a breadloaf, a stick of dynamite a bit shorter than the breadloaf and make sure to have a fuse of about 30 seconds on it.
Jam the stick of dynamite into the breadloaf so that it looks like a simple breadloaf with a string coming out from it (The birds won't give a shit about the "string" anyway)
Now light the fuse, toss the [b]breadloaf[/b] into a big pack of birds and run the fuck away. Alot of birds will probably flock around the [b]meatloaf[/b] because it's big and it's food. 30 second's later and most of the bird problems should be gone.
This is only assuming you can get your hands on such an amount of dynamite and/or have the mental strength to kill a whole flock of birds.[/QUOTE]
but where did the meatloaf come from?
And i doubt it would be good for his mother's mentality. She comes to see what the bang was, and oh look, yard covered in bird blood and guts.
Also, the dead stuff would attract rats. Better to have some angry birds in your yard than rats.
Or pigs. Pigs could show up.
[QUOTE=Bordellimies;29490683]but where did the meatloaf come from?
And i doubt it would be good for his mother's mentality. She comes to see what the bang was, and oh look, yard covered in bird blood and guts.
Also, the dead stuff would attract rats. Better to have some [b]angry birds[/b] in your yard than rats.[/QUOTE]
Must...not post reference.
[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strychnine[/url]
and play this while spreading it on her lawn
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7Nffq0bOgE[/media]
[QUOTE=Big Orca;29490985][url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strychnine[/url]
and play this while spreading it on her lawn
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7Nffq0bOgE[/media][/QUOTE]
Genocide the local cat and dog population while you're at it?
[QUOTE=cheesedelux;29491024]Genocide the local cat and dog population while you're at it?[/QUOTE]
Yup. If you're going up against European gulls, use [url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DRC-1339]this.[/url]
And how is that bad ???
birds are cool
[img]http://www.google.ca/url?source=imgres&ct=img&q=http://www.funnyanimalsite.com/pictures/Battle_Pigeon.jpg&sa=X&ei=ZMa5TcT1N8K60QGEm8zoDw&ved=0CAQQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNGCRcrYce9LWZvlFIRx9vciFTLIpw[/img]
[img]http://www.google.ca/url?source=imgres&ct=img&q=http://haha.nu/files/uploads/HLIC/farm4.static.flickr.com/3195/3067586831_fd2ed56a54_o.jpg&sa=X&ei=vca5TZOnLYr40gGV1eDlDw&ved=0CAQQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNEdjkOZ1ajxXlY1hWKgILJtwmTcow[/img]
[img]http://www.google.ca/url?source=imgres&ct=img&q=http://kevstravels.blogspot.com/piccies/birdscrocs/pelican2.JPG&sa=X&ei=I8e5Tc3PDqnZ0QHB4vX8Dw&ved=0CAQQ8wc&usg=AFQjCNGvUT4zt8kGwhGR4WJusrqZrvjFxA[/img]
She needs a man in her life.
[img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jWNhyMUpjSE/SLcf6qWX0oI/AAAAAAAABAU/oj8nlLvOPLk/s400/burds21.jpg[/img]
I want to make a [i]The Birds[/i] joke, but i get the feeling it would suck...Ergo, i won't.
[QUOTE=Toasticle;29492722]She needs a man in her life.
[img_thumb]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_jWNhyMUpjSE/SLcf6qWX0oI/AAAAAAAABAU/oj8nlLvOPLk/s400/burds21.jpg[/img_thumb][/QUOTE]
Probably
Snap a bird's neck in front of your mother. You know, as a coping mechanism.
Bite ones wings off, glue them to your self and try to fly away, all in front of her.
[QUOTE=geoface;29486226]Hunny bunny?
[img_thumb]http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsP/13923-15365.gif[/img_thumb]
Obviously the birds want to eat your soul and give u bird flu[/QUOTE]
I fucking love that scene. It's also used as the intro to "Fun Lovin' Criminals - Scooby Snacks" :keke:
sounds like she's lonely and needs more company and/or people to care for. She probably feels like she has nothing to care for like a mother since you hardly visit her, so she fills that hole with caring for birds.
Look, you can either care for her and spend more time with her, stick her in an old person's penitentiary, or let her house smell like bird shit.
Make her put birdseed in her vagina. Get her arrested for beastiality. No more birds.
I also was about to come in here with that bill line fuck you, Pivot :smug:
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