My friend can't have orgasms. Maybe I'll have a chance to help her. - General

[QUOTE=Livewire123;21410939]You do realise that if your friend told you she can't have orgasms it's probably a big hint for you to give her one, a typical scenario can result from it. She says she can't have orgasms, you're suprised and as a joke tell her you'd give her one to prove her wrong, she then jokingly says ok but in the end you both find out you wern't joking at all and do it. They always that behind each joke is a little truth... Cmon, this is like textbook stuff![/QUOTE] :downs:

You got to tap that!

So okay, here we go. [B]It's boring stuff time! :haw:[/B] Today's Saturday. That means that in a week, it'll be her birthday. And that means we'll be going out, so my self confidence says I must ask Facepunch more embarrasing stuff! :buddy: [quote]She actually says I'm too slow and shit. I should do stuff normal people do more often, but I'm kinda shy with those things. (I mean, how am I supposed to know when I have to kiss her? It's impossible, this is madness! :byodood:)[/quote] With that. Oh experienced gurus of Facepunch, how the hell am I supposed to know when I have to kiss her? I'm afraid to do it on the wrong time, so I only do it when it's [I]REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUS YOU IDIOT[/I] or when she says so (yeah, think about embarrassing and ridiculous). Another thing. It's her birthday, any ideas on what I should do? I really don't want her to have boring memories of that day, and I felt like Jesus when she said the following: [quote]Me: Well, won't you have dinner with our parents and shit like that? Her: Hell no, I want to do something with you.[/quote] And I was all like :3: and she was all like :3: and and and :3: Oh I'm beginning to act stupid dammit

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21414303]So okay, here we go. [B]It's boring stuff time! :haw:[/B] Today's Saturday. That means that in a week, it'll be her birthday. And that means we'll be going out, so my self confidence says I must ask Facepunch more embarrasing stuff! :buddy: With that. Oh experienced gurus of Facepunch, how the hell am I supposed to know when I have to kiss her? I'm afraid to do it on the wrong time, so I only do it when it's [I]REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUS YOU IDIOT[/I] or when she says so (yeah, think about embarrassing and ridiculous). Another thing. It's her birthday, any ideas on what I should do? I really don't want her to have boring memories of that day, and I felt like Jesus when she said the following: And I was all like :3: and she was all like :3: and and and :3: Oh I'm beginning to act stupid dammit[/QUOTE] About the kiss.. If she is playing with her hair, she is probably keen.. Here's the proof: [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DQ9qBLHLAo[/url]

[QUOTE=pedroion;21415100][I]So useful[/I][/QUOTE] Yours was very useful too thank you

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21417743]Yours was very useful too thank you[/QUOTE] So what the fuck happened

[QUOTE=rathat48;21419121]So what the fuck happened[/QUOTE] It's next Saturday, mate. And I believe I was being sarcastic.

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;20894456].[/QUOTE] i bet you she will fake an orgasm

[QUOTE=pizza.man;21420192]i bet you she will fake an orgasm[/QUOTE] Her loss then.

Buy book about this.

1) Shouldn't this be in relationship advice? 2) Do these steps 1. Fuck 2. Afterwards OR before tell her you realized that you were confused when you said you were a virgin, and you really meant you weren't. She will be flattered that you lost your virginity to her (probably) and then she can't change that anyways.

^ lulwhat?

[QUOTE=Mingebox;21366387]Upon completing his quest wherein he attempts to fuck bitches, I hope he entertains us with a thrilling sequel in which he gets money.[/QUOTE] I can't wait for the not as good as the previous 2 but can still stand on its own third part where he either smokes weed or burns heretics and obtains wisdom.

Otherwise, when she smiles.. Generally if she laughs of everything you say, it's time to kiss her..

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21414303]How the hell am I supposed to know when I have to kiss her? I'm afraid to do it on the wrong time, so I only do it when it's [I]REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUS YOU IDIOT[/I] or when she says so (yeah, think about embarrassing and ridiculous).[/QUOTE] If she senses that you're shy or insecure it makes you very unnatractive. Do not to [b]wait[/b] for the right moment,[i]create[/i] the right moment instead. You don't have to be an asshole to her, just take the lead. When you're at a safe place where you're not likely to be disturbed or interrupted take her hand when sitting next to each other (on a couch, make it comfy) or embrace her when you're standing (put your hands on her lower back, but not too low) and then evaluate the situation. If she doesn't show any sign of doubt or awkwardness then go for it. If she does then ask her if she's ok with "it" and talk your way in. Just remember, at least TRY to make a move. You will not forgive yourself if you wait it out and go home unsatisfied.

I love these threads.

[QUOTE=TommySprat;21426207]If she senses that you're shy or insecure it makes you very unnatractive. Do not to [b]wait[/b] for the right moment,[i]create[/i] the right moment instead. You don't have to be an asshole to her, just take the lead. When you're at a safe place where you're not likely to be disturbed or interrupted take her hand when sitting next to each other (on a couch, make it comfy) or embrace her when you're standing (put your hands on her lower back, but not too low) and then evaluate the situation. If she doesn't show any sign of doubt or awkwardness then go for it. If she does then ask her if she's ok with "it" and talk your way in. Just remember, at least TRY to make a move. You will not forgive yourself if you wait it out and go home unsatisfied.[/QUOTE] Cool, I'll keep that in mind. My shy-ness really disturbs me, it's a big flaw. I shall work on it and become a ladies' man. :patriot:

heh this thread is cool makes me feel good about myself

Oh crist 4 days :ohdear:

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21471590]Oh crist 4 days :ohdear:[/QUOTE] Tomorow, it will be 3 :ohdear:

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21471590]Oh crist 4 days :ohdear:[/QUOTE] Dude, stop bumping your own thread. Why do you feel the need to keep us updated on this dumb little relationship excursion you find yourself on? I think I speak for everyone when I say I do not care in the slightest what happens. Sure, this thread was fine for a day or two. How long has it been up for now, two weeks? Christ, fuck her or don't fuck her, but stop acting like this site is your personal blog and we're all along for the ride.

[QUOTE=PiPBoyV3;21471735]Dude, stop bumping your own thread. Why do you feel the need to keep us updated on this dumb little relationship excursion you find yourself on? I think I speak for everyone when I say I do not care in the slightest what happens. Sure, this thread was fine for a day or two. How long has it been up for now, two weeks? Christ, fuck her or don't fuck her, but stop acting like this site is your personal blog and we're all along for the ride.[/QUOTE] Errm. If ''everyone'' contains me. Then you don't speak for everyoe. You speak for yourself. Where did i see that... Oh yeah [quote]If you don't like a thread. Don't post in it[/quote]

I hope you prematurely ejaculate my good fellow

[QUOTE=PiPBoyV3;21471735]Dude, stop bumping your own thread. Why do you feel the need to keep us updated on this dumb little relationship excursion you find yourself on? I think I speak for everyone when I say I do not care in the slightest what happens. Sure, this thread was fine for a day or two. How long has it been up for now, two weeks? Christ, fuck her or don't fuck her, but stop acting like this site is your personal blog and we're all along for the ride.[/QUOTE] Have you not read the thread? He asked everyone if we wanted him to keep updating and the response that he got was a yes. Just go fuck yourself.

So what happened?

So how'd it go?

Ah, dudes, I'm sorry: we didn't go out. Unfortunately. So, last time we got together, she said I am too slow (that, in the ladies' language, gentlemen, means "I need more action slowass"). So I thought that, if we fap before fapping again, it takes a lot longer to jizz. Thus, if I don't fap for a whole week I would be so thirsty for kissing and beyond she would be fullfilled, amirite? :science: Turns out that, when I call her on Saturday morning, I ask her what time we could meet and where, she says she's locked in her house, and she had to wait for her dad to get home. That was at 11AM, guys. She calls me 1PM. I was like "oh god finally her dad arrived now to some action" and then she strikes me: "My mother called, she said I have to make my own food now, I'm 19. Do I have to put water on the rice? It's beginning to get strange". As you might think, I was REALLY pissed off. WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THEY AREN'T HOME YET? BREAK A WINDOW PLEASE, I WANT TO SEE YOU "They said they can take a while" - When she said that, it looked like she said "Yup, your awesome weekend plans are now ruined. :3" And well, she didn't call me anymore, her parents arrived later, I guess. I studied Anatomy on this weekend, for today's test. :smith:

She was locked out of her own house for hours? Sounds like the perfect opportunity to invite her over to [I]your house.[/I]

Yeah did you like ask her to do anything with you? Or did you just listen to her make excuses?

[QUOTE=jesseluver93;21576942]She was locked out of her own house for hours? Sounds like the perfect opportunity to invite her over to [I]your house.[/I][/QUOTE] She was locked [I]inside[/I] her house, when she woke up she was alone, and they took her keys. [QUOTE=Masterofkills09;21576978]Yeah did you like ask her to do anything with you? Or did you just listen to her make excuses?[/QUOTE] What? And if those were excuses, she's pretty bipolar, since [I]she[/I] said she wanted to go out with me on her birthday.