My friend can't have orgasms. Maybe I'll have a chance to help her.

[jesseluver93]

How does one get locked inside their house? Could she not unlock doors/windows from the inside? In which case she could have invited you over for sex during the entire time her parents were gone while she was "locked inside"?

Sounds like she is making excuses.

[beok]

I remember starting to read this thread a month ago.
Nothing much happened?

[ShaunOfTheLive]

nothing much happened, because OP is a poosay

[Hatelove]

Excuse me for stating the obvious but I think shes fucking with you (In the mental way not the physical way)

[AnonymousDude]

[QUOTE=shill le 2nd;21579960]nothing much happened, because OP is a poosay[/QUOTE]

saxton hale is a poosay compared to me, sir :colbert:

[QUOTE=Hatelove;21582462]Excuse me for stating the obvious but I think shes fucking with you (In the mental way not the physical way)[/QUOTE]

I'm starting to think about that option.

She's a) Uninterested in me and just wants a hot friendship and is using my beauty and smartness or b) She's bored, 'cause she thinks I'm too fucking slow and thinks that I'm a fucking pussy, she just wants me to get my hands on her tits, kiss her furiously, rub my cock on her pussy, fuck her madly and make her cum in an insane explosion of pleasure and excitement.

Probably [I]a[/I].

[Soderholm]

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21585973]saxton hale is a poosay compared to me, sir :colbert:[/QUOTE]

Did you humpity hump her yet? :buddy:
I can't be arsed to go through 014982938124891381394 pages :ninja:

[mobrockers]

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21585973]saxton hale is a poosay compared to me, sir :colbert:

I'm starting to think about that option.

She's a) Uninterested in me and just wants a hot friendship and is using my beauty and smartness or b) She's bored, 'cause she thinks I'm too fucking slow and thinks that I'm a fucking pussy, she just wants me to get my hands on her tits, kiss her furiously, rub my cock on her pussy, fuck her madly and make her cum in an insane explosion of pleasure and excitement.

Probably [I]a[/I].[/QUOTE]

I think c)Shes fucking with your head for funz.

[ZuXer]

Uumm, you should try the love advice forums, yes?
Also how old are you? that wall of text , I imagined a 17 year old boy who never had a serious relationship and you are just being, well, happy, like you never was.
I say tell'er what you feel or some shit, or you will become a toy for her only, and when she starts going out with someone other that's gonna feel shit.

Or watch porn, who knows what you get from it.

[AnonymousDude]

[QUOTE=ZuXer;21587029]Also how old are you? that wall of text , [B]I imagined a 17 year old boy who never had a serious relationship[/B] and you are just being, well, happy, like you never was.[/QUOTE]

:ohdear:

It is true that I never was really interested in anyone (I don't think I love her, like bfs love gfs) but she's important to me, since she's a very good friend for years.

So yeah, that's why it matters so much to me. You can now proceed to rating me boxes.

[ZuXer]

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21587114]:ohdear:

It is true that I never was really interested in anyone (I don't think I love her, like bfs love gfs) but she's important to me, since she's a very good friend for years.

So yeah, that's why it matters so much to me. You can now proceed to rating me boxes.[/QUOTE]

Then just do it.:quagmire:
And maybe afret that, she will like you.

[munky91]

This thread makes me hopeful.

[Soderholm]

[QUOTE=ZuXer;21587357]Then just do it.:quagmire:
And maybe afret that, she will like you.[/QUOTE]

And then do it again :quagmire:

[editline]05:46PM[/editline]

I'm first poster in this page... :v:

[imnotBPX]

That you need a fucking thread to decide this is pretty pethatic, just relax, be yourself and see what happens.

[Maccabee]

Has OP ever watched porn?

[dale_uk_scout]

[QUOTE]Soul-Chicken, she has brown, curly hair, brown eyes, her lips are SO. FUCKING. BEAUTIFUL. *ahem* and her body is really tight. Enough imagination material for ya?[/QUOTE]

I just saw Hermione Granger.

Or Hagrid. wait. no. not Hagger.

[Vornmusion]

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21585973]I'm starting to think about that option.[/QUOTE]

Don't jump to that conclusion just yet. Give it another go, then, if this happens again, it's safe to assume she's playing you or can't keep her word. I consider the latter worse than the former personally.

[AnonymousDude]

[QUOTE=Maccabee;21588429]Has OP ever watched porn?[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;20894580]If watching porn gave us any sex skills 97% of Facepunch, including me would be made of sex gods.[/QUOTE]

Clocks

[BIGCAL50CAL]

[QUOTE=Elexar;20894644]give her oral all night long

and claim you've only done it [I]once[/I] before (and it went really shitty)[/QUOTE]

Your avatar fits perfectly.

[ROFLBURGER]

You honestly screwed up on when she asked you if you ever had sex before.
Cause if you said yes (you did) then:
-She would be scared to, because she's thinking that she might be worse than the first girl (unless shes a really hardcore bitch, which is doubtful)
-Some men/woman are taught by there parents to lose their virginity to a virgin, I was, and I will lose my virginity to a virgin.

If you said no then:
You are truthful and she would want to fuck you.
I think you need a time traveler to fix that mistake, man.
Also what does this have to do with orgasms if you never had sex with her? <rate ne dumb if there was a reason>
Also March 20th was my birthday. I'm going to make a thread about it
Oh wait, bad idea
Also that tells you that I read the damn thing

[lolnubs]

This thread still going?

I bet the OP has screwed that chick 3 times over by now...

[PlamZ]

Anonymous... I know it may me harsh to say that, because i couldn't even do it. But grow some balls, call her and do NOT say ''Do you want to''. Just tell her ''I'll take you saturday at 7'' Don't tell her where you are going. Go watch a movie. Kiss her at least once.

If you have to die, do so bravely.

[Bullet100]

Haha lucky bastard

[AnonymousDude]

[QUOTE=PlamZ;21601955]Anonymous... I know it may me harsh to say that, because i couldn't even do it. But grow some balls, call her and do NOT say ''Do you want to''. Just tell her ''I'll take you saturday at 7'' Don't tell her where you are going. Go watch a movie. Kiss her at least once.

If you have to die, do so bravely.[/QUOTE]

That's another option I'm considering. :downs:

Go there, say 'Fuck it' to everything and do as much as I can.

Unfortunately I'm full of college shit. In two days I have a test I don't have any idea on what I have to know, and on this weekend, I gotta make this group work. And I hate group work.

[PlamZ]

I hate them too. But if you think you have a chance with that girl, don't waste it. Show her you got some balls (Not physically. Well, not now) And that you want to fuck her real bad, but without being a macho. That should win you full sex night. (Well, since your are virgin, it'll be more like 5 minutes but eh...)

[Soderholm]

If all else fails: [sp]Rape[/sp]

[AnonymousDude]

Well, here we go.

:siren: [B]Update time [/B]:siren:

So, this week was kinda hard. Had some tests, some group work. Our group would get together today, Saturday, to do the work, for Monday.
I convinced them (it was REALLY hard) to meet tomorrow, just in case I could go out with her.
So yesterday I called her. We talked on the phone for 46 minutes (my new record), and as planned, I asked her out again. Today is a holiday, so many shops don't open, buses are less frequent and shit. She agreed with going out, and said she would look at the bus schedule for today, because, as I said a few times on this thread, she lives kinda far from here, it's a 1h30m trip.
So this morning I call her again, and ask her about the buses. She says "Oh, you can't imagine what happened".

My kind reader, you [B]can [/B]imagine me. I was pretty much like this: :byodood:

I quickly fake a calm voice: "Oh, no, what happened? :ohdear:" "We argued last night, I'm waiting for my mother to get home, but I don't think she'll let me out"

[img_thumb]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/emoot/byodood.gif[/img_thumb]

"Ah, ok." "Are you angry?" "Not at all. [[I]YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH STOP LYING JUST SAY YOU DONT WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME ANYMORE FOR FUCKS SAKE I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN THREE FUCKING WEEKS[/I]]" "Ah, don't be angry, I'm sorry but it's not my fault..." "No, I'm ok. [[I]FUCKKKK YOUUUUU][/I]

"If she isn't too pissed off, I'll call you, ok?" "Sure. [[I]I KNOW YOU WONT YOU LIAR][/I]

Turns out like 1 hour later, she calls me: "Guess what? She isn't angry!" "Oh, great! [[I]FUCK YES I KNEW IT I LOVE YOU MARRY ME [/I]:pcgaming:" "...but there isn't buses that come back here until 11PM, so I guess we can't go out :saddowns:" "Dammit." "Yeah, I know. What are you going to do on Monday?" "I have college. [[I]AND YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT]"[/I] "Ah, that sucks." And the rest isn't relevant, it's just me trying to finish the conversation.

So, after that angry log, here's what I think: the possibility of her being tired of me? Growing really, really fast. After the 46-minute conversation, I actually thought I was being too paranoic, but damn, she isn't really helping me, is she?

I think I won't call her again. If she wants to, she has my number.

What do you experts think?

Also writing conversations is hard, and I suck at it. :saddowns:

[kayOkay]

'the fuck?
I can't talk on the phone for 5 minutes...

And, imho, give her one last chance. Invite her for one last date or something, if it doesn't work, dumb her like dumbing a nuke.

[Livewire123]

Skip college, there are moments in life which are just more important.

[mobrockers]

[QUOTE=AnonymousDude;21675753]Well, here we go.

:siren: [B]Update time [/B]:siren:

So, this week was kinda hard. Had some tests, some group work. Our group would get together today, Saturday, to do the work, for Monday.
I convinced them (it was REALLY hard) to meet tomorrow, just in case I could go out with her.
So yesterday I called her. We talked on the phone for 46 minutes (my new record), and as planned, I asked her out again. Today is a holiday, so many shops don't open, buses are less frequent and shit. She agreed with going out, and said she would look at the bus schedule for today, because, as I said a few times on this thread, she lives kinda far from here, it's a 1h30m trip.
So this morning I call her again, and ask her about the buses. She says "Oh, you can't imagine what happened".

My kind reader, you [B]can [/B]imagine me. I was pretty much like this: :byodood:

I quickly fake a calm voice: "Oh, no, what happened? :ohdear:" "We argued last night, I'm waiting for my mother to get home, but I don't think she'll let me out"

[img_thumb]http://www.facepunch.com/fp/emoot/byodood.gif[/img_thumb]

"Ah, ok." "Are you angry?" "Not at all. [[I]YOU FUCKING STUPID BITCH STOP LYING JUST SAY YOU DONT WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME ANYMORE FOR FUCKS SAKE I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN THREE FUCKING WEEKS[/I]]" "Ah, don't be angry, I'm sorry but it's not my fault..." "No, I'm ok. [[I]FUCKKKK YOUUUUU][/I]

"If she isn't too pissed off, I'll call you, ok?" "Sure. [[I]I KNOW YOU WONT YOU LIAR][/I]

Turns out like 1 hour later, she calls me: "Guess what? She isn't angry!" "Oh, great! [[I]FUCK YES I KNEW IT I LOVE YOU MARRY ME [/I]:pcgaming:" "...but there isn't buses that come back here until 11PM, so I guess we can't go out :saddowns:" "Dammit." "Yeah, I know. What are you going to do on Monday?" "I have college. [[I]AND YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT]"[/I] "Ah, that sucks." And the rest isn't relevant, it's just me trying to finish the conversation.

So, after that angry log, here's what I think: the possibility of her being tired of me? Growing really, really fast. After the 46-minute conversation, I actually thought I was being too paranoic, but damn, she isn't really helping me, is she?

I think I won't call her again. If she wants to, she has my number.

What do you experts think?

Also writing conversations is hard, and I suck at it. :saddowns:[/QUOTE]

Wanna bet her friends were at her house at that time, listening on other phones? You are her toy, and she doesnt use her toys the way you want her to, and you know it.

[Hatelove]

Yeah, Ignore her for as long as you can then keep ignoring her.
Everytime to reach for the phone to call her slap yorslef in the face really hard. If she actually does have any feelings for you, she will feel ignored and call YOU then the power will be in your grasp and you can set up a location to meet or something.
But play it cool if she does call you don't go "OMFG I MIS YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!
then she will know that your playing games with her