The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
Might as well post what's bothering me.
There's this girl that I'm sure I'm in love with now. I told her that I was into her quite a while ago. She said that she was afraid of her parents, as they are a bit strict from what I've gathered. The next day, she told me that she wasn't going to feel that way about anybody for a long time.
I feel, however, that she's the only person I could ever possibly feel this strongly about, and I feel that I may never be truly happy without her. The thought of her eventually choosing someone else over me scares the shit out of me, although I understand that it is her choice and I have no right to try to force her into something she isn't completely happy with. Right now she sees me as a friend, and it seems that she isn't into anyone right now, but I just hope it can be something more one day.
Is it weird that I'm this worried about it?
You can always try asking her out, people don't have to be 'in love' to date, if you don't ask you'll never find out what could have been.
If you get rejected, you tried, and you'll be fine, as Jo said:
"woah you know now that I think about it, that's true for 3.5 billion other people in the world! "
[QUOTE=Walker Black;35840684]Might as well post what's bothering me.
There's this girl that I'm sure I'm in love with now. I told her that I was into her quite a while ago. She said that she was afraid of her parents, as they are a bit strict from what I've gathered. The next day, she told me that she wasn't going to feel that way about anybody for a long time.
I feel, however, that she's the only person I could ever possibly feel this strongly about, and I feel that I may never be truly happy without her. The thought of her eventually choosing someone else over me scares the shit out of me, although I understand that it is her choice and I have no right to try to force her into something she isn't completely happy with. Right now she sees me as a friend, and it seems that she isn't into anyone right now, but I just hope it can be something more one day.
Is it weird that I'm this worried about it?[/QUOTE]
you aren't in love with her, you're really over interpreting things here, if you haven't even been on a date and you think you're in love then something is definitely wrong
[QUOTE=YWNJack;35840103]True but the only reason we aren't in a relationship is because we haven't met yet[/QUOTE]
Look dude, you asked for advice. Stop trying to rationalize your actions with excuses and listen.
[QUOTE=zerotwelve;35841161]you aren't in love with her, you're really over interpreting things here, if you haven't even been on a date and you think you're in love then something is definitely wrong[/QUOTE]
I do talk to her almost every day. A lot. Since when was a date the only way to get to know a girl? I think I'm going to have to disagree, but you may be right. It sure doesn't seem like it, though.
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35838940]ew what no, stop perpetuating this ancient shitty sexist stereotype
if you "ran on emotion" you wouldn't have been able to form those sentences[/QUOTE]
I'm a weird chick.
[editline]5th May 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35839341]Speaking of long distance relationships, what's your opinion of them? I've been told by those who've tried them that they're full of jealousy.[/QUOTE]
Trust and [b]not listening[/b] to other peoples advice: "oh, they are def cheating on you," helps.
The main issue of a long distance relationship is the lack of closeness to your partner. A relation is about being together and spending time together, regardless of what you actually do. Furthermore endearments and the sexual attractions plays a huge role.
When you are apart from eachother this feeling decreases over time. You can speak to your partner and stay in touch but it won't be the same. Even after a while you just run out on things to say. The interaction between both is minimalistic. Besides when someone is gone for a longer period of time to another place there might be a great chance that he changes a lot (for instance studies) and meet new people. Thus feeling even more apart from the other person.
It is just so hard, even for couples who have been longer together. Only truly dedicated ones can make it and I have respect for them. I could not handle it.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35839341]Speaking of long distance relationships, what's your opinion of them? I've been told by those who've tried them that they're full of jealousy.[/QUOTE]
a long distance relationship can work, i've been in one for quite a while now. an internet relationship, like the one the guy is talking about, is almost always retarded and almost never works, however. especially when you've been talking to that person for just a matter of weeks and you claim to love her, all the while she's barely even talking to you anymore.
[editline]5th May 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=junker|154;35841571]The main issue of a long distance relationship is the lack of closeness to your partner. A relation is about being together and spending time together, regardless of what you actually do. Furthermore endearments and the sexual attractions plays a huge role.
When you are apart from eachother this feeling decreases over time. You can speak to your partner and stay in touch but it won't be the same. Even after a while you just run out on things to say. The interaction between both is minimalistic. Besides when someone is gone for a longer period of time to another place there might be a great chance that he changes a lot (for instance studies) and meet new people. Thus feeling even more apart from the other person.
It is just so hard, even for couples who have been longer together. Only truly dedicated ones can make it and I have respect for them. I could not handle it.[/QUOTE]
i can proudly say that my girlfriend and i talk no less now than we did when first met and started dating, which besides when i'm in class/can't use my cell phone due to military stuff, is all the time through at least texting. i still feel just as close almost a year later.
Guys, I need an advice. First of all, I'm a schoolboy. My classmates are stating to drink, smoke, a couple of them even brag that they did drugs (but they didn't, obviously). Some become huge nerds. There's the only bright person in the whole class - and it's that girl. She goes to some martial arts and dancing, she's generally active and nice, but has a crappy attitude towards studying some subjects and hangs around a bad company. Through the years I've developed some kind of feeling for her, but I wouldn't call it love, though she's more than a friend to me. I tried to make a move, but got rejected because she has been in many relationships and knows that they lead to a bad break-up and because of that all guys are assholes, but she still hangs around. What to do? Is it possible for me to make her accept that I'm not an assole or to forget the feeling towards her?
sounds like she's just not interested in you
[QUOTE=thisispain;35845667]sounds like she's just not interested in you[/QUOTE]
Well, it may be so. Is there a way to overcome the feeling then?
Obviously, you know there is. If you didn't, you'd check yourself in the nearest psych ward.
[QUOTE=YWNJack;35839486]It's strange because I've grown attached to her, her personality, she's gorgeous, just so many factors. It was more like 2 weeks we barely spoke for. I can't tell you the guilt I felt when I kissed someone else though. I think it was my way of showing that I'm getting hurt by this 'time apart' thing..
For reference, I'm 17, the girl who's long distance is 16. And the girl close by is 14:/[/QUOTE]
1/2 your age + 7 dude
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;35845906]1/2 your age + 7 dude[/QUOTE]
That's horrible, seriously.
[QUOTE=Yahnich;35846089]until you get to the age that age doesn't matter (aka both parties are at least 18) it's a pretty good rule[/QUOTE]
Good rule? How so?
I see. Socially acceptable maturity gap for people who hunt younger women. Cool.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35842730]
I can proudly say that my girlfriend and i talk no less now than we did when first met and started dating, which besides when i'm in class/can't use my cell phone due to military stuff, is all the time through at least texting. i still feel just as close almost a year later.[/QUOTE]
That is great for you, but I would be like 700 km away from my ex-girlfriend (if I would be still with her today) and I could only return home for a few vacations, which would be like 5 times a year. Besides I cannot simply travel home because it is rather expensive and take to much time, I am busy having exams and studying.
That is what I meant. Not being apart for a few days or weeks.
ok so I've been thinking about where I'm going to live next year when I go to college
there are basically 2 choices that I'm interested in, this one place that's super nice but small and very hard to get a spot in, and this other place that's less nice, but almost guaranteed a spot.
most of the kids from my high school who are going to the same school as me decided to go for the second option, and we organized our housing preferences in the best way possible to try to get into the same buildings. I actually was the one who proposed this idea, I thought it would be a fun thing to do, and it was almost guaranteed to work because its not hard to get into the second option
BUT, I just learned that I get first choice on my housing no matter what, so I could be guaranteed a spot in the really nice building.
should I abandon my high school friends and go for it or should I stick with the original plan I made?
(oh and housing at this school is apparently very cliquey, especially the first option I was looking at, so yes it does make a difference where I decide to stay)
I'd take the one with my buddies. There's no guarantee the kids at college will like you if you stay in the first dorm, and by doing so you'd be abandoning your high school buddies, therefore making boh groups possibly dislike you. I'd rather stay with friends in a not-so-nice place instead of hanging out with people I don't know in a nice place.
[QUOTE=HookerVomit;35841453]I'm a weird chick.
[editline]5th May 2012[/editline]
Trust and [b]not listening[/b] to other peoples advice: "oh, they are def cheating on you," helps.[/QUOTE]
"I'm not like other girls,"
-girls
I'm asking a girl to prom soon.
Is it creepy if I make it treasure-hunt-ish by having little "notes" placed that say like "Eat Breakfast", "Go to Biology", "Enjoy Lunch", etc. etc. about various things she does throughout the day, and then have the last one be "Dig a hole in the sandbox" (the Prom theme is "Down the Rabbit's Hole (alice in wonderland)), where it says something like "Turn Around" and I'll be holding one that says "Say Yes?" and a flower?
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35849125]ok so I've been thinking about where I'm going to live next year when I go to college
there are basically 2 choices that I'm interested in, this one place that's super nice but small and very hard to get a spot in, and this other place that's less nice, but almost guaranteed a spot.
most of the kids from my high school who are going to the same school as me decided to go for the second option, and we organized our housing preferences in the best way possible to try to get into the same buildings. I actually was the one who proposed this idea, I thought it would be a fun thing to do, and it was almost guaranteed to work because its not hard to get into the second option
BUT, I just learned that I get first choice on my housing no matter what, so I could be guaranteed a spot in the really nice building.
should I abandon my high school friends and go for it or should I stick with the original plan I made?
(oh and housing at this school is apparently very cliquey, especially the first option I was looking at, so yes it does make a difference where I decide to stay)[/QUOTE]
I'd say it depended on how much you valued your school friends' company. They might not take well to you taking the classy accommodation, even though they don't really lose anything. The other thing is that you really do want to meet new people at college, and having your old friends around all the time kinda dilutes that - but it's not like they're gonna be the only people there.
My advice would be to probably take the second option - unless it's really bad, I don't think your experience will be negatively impacted much. In my opinion you really have to [I]try[/I] to have a bad time at college.
[editline]6th May 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Elements;35849367]I'm asking a girl to prom soon.
Is it creepy if I make it treasure-hunt-ish by having little "notes" placed that say like "Eat Breakfast", "Go to Biology", "Enjoy Lunch", etc. etc. about various things she does throughout the day, and then have the last one be "Dig a hole in the sandbox" (the Prom theme is "Down the Rabbit's Hole (alice in wonderland)), where it says something like "Turn Around" and I'll be holding one that says "Say Yes?" and a flower?[/QUOTE]
please for the love of all that is holy do not do this
it is beyond creepy. just ask her out like a human being.
[QUOTE=Turnips5;35849464]
it is beyond creepy. just ask her out like a human being.[/QUOTE]
Even if she already knows I'm going to ask?
Fair enough, it was just a thought.
So here's some drama I was just informed of since I've been away for university for the past year.
There's this dude I [b]knew[/b]... Lets just call him John. First day of school at a new place so called university for him and all that jazz, it was a new experience. He only knew this girl from way back during highschool and that's the only girl he's been accustomed from being around. He's shy and nervous around all other girls thus in terms of his social performance around them, he sure is lacking. John and his bestfriend Kimi meet this girl new girl Emily and from there on Kimi promised to help John to score this new found friend since she is both friends with John and Kimi it should be easy Kimi says... it'll be fun.
The dates go on and John's pretty much got this in the bag with the girl. The two of them make an odd couple not gonna lie. It's like seeing a 10 out of 10 girl with a guy that looks like he can only score a 3/10.
Eventually (here's the tricky part) someone fucks up. John and Kimi kiss. She says she made the first move but John insists that he's got them both at his knees and says he made her. I guess John's on some kind of power trip right about now.
John and Emily become distant and at this point she's looking like some crazy girl friend to everyone else but anyone that was in on the drama knew she was simply fighting for who she loved. She knew no body and basically had no body other than Kimi and John.
John and Kimi are basically like fuck buddies at this point and Kimi's excuse for all the hookups sounds something like "special training" cause he was really shy and nervous around girls and Kimi was basically like "use me, practice on me before u do anything with Emily".
This goes on for a few weeks but everyone is thinking Kimi and John are now going out. When ever Emily was asked what the fuck was going on she would insist that she was still dating John.
One day all hell broke loose. Kimi's bestfriend, Sarah (she's a really small and tiny girl) confronts John and is like "what the fuck are you doing man! wheeling two girls at the same fucking time?". She tries to sort shit out between John, Kimi, and Emily. Though being Kimi's bestfriend, she was biased and wanted John to dump Emily for Kimi. Eventually that happened. But Sarah and John ended up hooking up on the night before she moved away to Europe. That night was crazy. John was feel asleep after work and apparently Sarah kissed him on the lips when he was out cold. When that happened, Emily caught her in the act.
So now it is this giant polygon of love.
What made it even worse is John and his childhood friend from elementary school was in town for an entire week for some festival right, and she's had a crush on him for the longest time. But John has never viewed this girl as a woman. John being a worker at the fair was taking a break when she approached him and they hung out to catch up and talk and what not. They ended up doing it in a gym storage locker.
There was a point in all this where everyone knew what everyone else was doing.
John went from that wimp kid that couldn't even talk to girls to being a huge player.
I forgot to mention. He also did his "broski's" girl after she went over to his place for some advice on their relationship. So much for Bro code eh?
Jettison John into outer space. He is being a real piece of shit.
I'm still sorting out this new found shit so more to come.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;35849636]Jettison John into outer space. He is being a real piece of shit.[/QUOTE]
Seriously, John sounds like a colossal fuckhead. That whole story sounds almost entirely made-up considering how douchey he sounds.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35849714]Seriously, John sounds like a colossal fuckhead. That whole story sounds almost entirely made-up considering how douchey he sounds.[/QUOTE]
I guess I left out all the good bits. Things were good last time I heard, i was happy for him when he found this new girl and i was cheering him on :) She was a lonely girl and he always made sure she had someone there. Her dad was always missing because of business trips and what not so it was mostly Emily's little sister that was around.
I still can't seem to figure out what led to him becoming such an animal. It was alright being a love triangle and all, it was apparently simplier that way when he only had to deal between the girl he was dating and his bestfriend. But I think he crossed the line when he went for the other women.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;35849125]ok so I've been thinking about where I'm going to live next year when I go to college
there are basically 2 choices that I'm interested in, this one place that's super nice but small and very hard to get a spot in, and this other place that's less nice, but almost guaranteed a spot.
most of the kids from my high school who are going to the same school as me decided to go for the second option, and we organized our housing preferences in the best way possible to try to get into the same buildings. I actually was the one who proposed this idea, I thought it would be a fun thing to do, and it was almost guaranteed to work because its not hard to get into the second option
BUT, I just learned that I get first choice on my housing no matter what, so I could be guaranteed a spot in the really nice building.
should I abandon my high school friends and go for it or should I stick with the original plan I made?
(oh and housing at this school is apparently very cliquey, especially the first option I was looking at, so yes it does make a difference where I decide to stay)[/QUOTE]
make new friends. your high school friends may be great and all, but you should be able to move beyond them. of course, you can still hang out with them and all, but expand your horizons. assimilate.
the one other thing is that the first nicer choice is a lot smaller and really cliquey, so if I'm trying to branch out and make friends, It's smaller with fewer people
even with all my high school friends, I'm pretty sure I'd meet more people going with the second choice
[editline]6th May 2012[/editline]
to elaborate, I hear that some people who dorm in the first choice end up not getting along that well with the other people in the dorm, while some people get along super great and become best of friends
its a hit or miss since there are fewer people
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