• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
I'm not sure I'm following.... Your interperation is exactly my point; You cannot know for sure what the other side thinks. Also, that's not what I meant at all. I am not denying he actually thinks she might be a great person, but rather the fact he's just saying this to feel good about himself.
Jesus christ Seith, only would you expect some girl to over analyze a statement like that, this isn't fucking difficult just tell her you don't have mutual feelings for her. Get used to rejection and get used to giving rejection it is part of life.
for fucks sake seith, stop overthinking everything. it's not a letter between feuding royals, you don't need to analyse the implications of every word. and on the matter of not knowing what they think, you are doing exactly that. the biggest problem with mind reading is you never think the exact same way as the other person, you in particular as no-one else in this thread thinks in the paranoid hierarchical patterns you have. it doesn't matter if it's insincere, when you can't get that most people are just happy with something that sounds nice.
[QUOTE=Seith;35871640] "I think" ; You know what's good for her, yet you give her exactly the opposite of what she wants to hear? Stop being hypocritical.[/QUOTE] Wait, what? What's good for you in the long run might be the opposite of what you want to hear. What's good for the girl is to stop entertaining the possibility of a relationship with this guy, and to not burn herself out chasing after him. Speaking of which, I need to give another perspective on my situation, as I ranted about a while ago. It just failed to capture the bigger picture last time. Firstly this is all happening on the internet... I've seen the girl a good few times on webcam, but she lives across the Atlantic from me, and her mum is one of those "every man on the internet is a rapist/pedophile" parents. So the chance of meeting in person is pretty much zero. Secondly she does have a boyfriend, who we also only know on the internet, and ironically lives in my city. Thirdly she's called me her best friend on a few occasions, and often when her boyfriend does something she doesn't like she goes to me to talk about it. It all smells of the pathetic stereotype where I'm the nice guy, she is the girl I'm interested in and her boyfriend is... her boyfriend. It's not that we aren't friends at all - we talk on Teamspeak for hours most evenings (along with some other good friends of ours), we play a lot of video games... she does appreciate me as a friend but I don't know if I can accept the situation and happily just be friends. It certainly doesn't seem that way. Ugh. I don't know what to do really. I feel I should avoid the both of them completely for a while, see what happens, but the last time I tried that I ended up just coming back to her before an hour had even passed.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;35872984]for fucks sake seith, stop overthinking everything. it's not a letter between feuding royals, you don't need to analyse the implications of every word. and on the matter of not knowing what they think, you are doing exactly that. the biggest problem with mind reading is you never think the exact same way as the other person, you in particular as no-one else in this thread thinks in the paranoid hierarchical patterns you have. it doesn't matter if it's insincere, when you can't get that most people are just happy with something that sounds nice.[/QUOTE] I shall relate to your post in that following fashion; "You never think the exact same way as the other person" - "when you can't get that most people are just happy with something that sounds nice" .... You just did it - mind reading. What made you conclude, sorry, deduct most people would be happy with something like the sentence a few posts above? Taking in consideration his particular situation, did you actually ask the girl after said sentence was spoken, how did she feel? Even if you did, do you really believe she found it "the perfect answer" ? None of us knows. Furthermore, you neglected my real question; why is it, you feel, anybody for that matter that supports your approach, the need to not hurt the person? Take in consideration what we said also; you cannot predict what would make her happy or not, so if you truly believe that, it raises a deeper question.... Why is it you so desperately need to not hurt her, when you can't tell exactly what she thinks? [editline]8th May 2012[/editline] [quote]Seith posted: "I think" ; You know what's good for her, yet you give her exactly the opposite of what she wants to hear? Stop being hypocritical.[/quote] [quote] Wait, what? What's good for you in the long run might be the opposite of what you want to hear. What's good for the girl is to stop entertaining the possibility of a relationship with this guy, and to not burn herself out chasing after him.[/quote] You misunderstood what I said and I agree with what you've said. [quote]peaking of which, I need to give another perspective on my situation, as I ranted about a while ago. It just failed to capture the bigger picture last time. Firstly this is all happening on the internet... I've seen the girl a good few times on webcam, but she lives across the Atlantic from me, and her mum is one of those "every man on the internet is a rapist/pedophile" parents. So the chance of meeting in person is pretty much zero. Secondly she does have a boyfriend, who we also only know on the internet, and ironically lives in my city. Thirdly she's called me her best friend on a few occasions, and often when her boyfriend does something she doesn't like she goes to me to talk about it. It all smells of the pathetic stereotype where I'm the nice guy, she is the girl I'm interested in and her boyfriend is... her boyfriend. It's not that we aren't friends at all - we talk on Teamspeak for hours most evenings (along with some other good friends of ours), we play a lot of video games... she does appreciate me as a friend but I don't know if I can accept the situation and happily just be friends. It certainly doesn't seem that way. Ugh. I don't know what to do really. I feel I should avoid the both of them completely for a while, see what happens, but the last time I tried that I ended up just coming back to her before an hour had even passed.[/QUOTE] You should avoid them. Period.
Basically ignore Seith and just wing it
[QUOTE=1chains1;35872943]Jesus christ Seith, only would you expect some girl to over analyze a statement like that, this isn't fucking difficult just tell her you don't have mutual feelings for her. Get used to rejection and get used to giving rejection it is part of life.[/QUOTE] Obviously. Have you read any of the posts? That's my exact point. Also, I find it fascinating you guys always seem to ponder about the issues unrelated to the actual context discussed on my posts. [editline]8th May 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Lukeo;35874225]Basically ignore Seith and just wing it[/QUOTE] Exactly.
lol i was giving him the easy way out not the overly complicated, overly honest, overly difficult way out. Just do it and be done with it dude.
Just say that the only reason you fucked her is because you were drunk, any other time she's ugly as fuck and you pity her existence. Should do the trick
Well I definitely was over thinking that :v: I told her I wasn't interested and she said "ok cool :p"
[QUOTE=MegaJohnny;35873165]Wait, what? What's good for you in the long run might be the opposite of what you want to hear. What's good for the girl is to stop entertaining the possibility of a relationship with this guy, and to not burn herself out chasing after him. Speaking of which, I need to give another perspective on my situation, as I ranted about a while ago. It just failed to capture the bigger picture last time. Firstly this is all happening on the internet... I've seen the girl a good few times on webcam, but she lives across the Atlantic from me, and her mum is one of those "every man on the internet is a rapist/pedophile" parents. So the chance of meeting in person is pretty much zero. Secondly she does have a boyfriend, who we also only know on the internet, and ironically lives in my city. Thirdly she's called me her best friend on a few occasions, and often when her boyfriend does something she doesn't like she goes to me to talk about it. It all smells of the pathetic stereotype where I'm the nice guy, she is the girl I'm interested in and her boyfriend is... her boyfriend. It's not that we aren't friends at all - we talk on Teamspeak for hours most evenings (along with some other good friends of ours), we play a lot of video games... she does appreciate me as a friend but I don't know if I can accept the situation and happily just be friends. It certainly doesn't seem that way. Ugh. I don't know what to do really. I feel I should avoid the both of them completely for a while, see what happens, but the last time I tried that I ended up just coming back to her before an hour had even passed.[/QUOTE] If you can't content with just being friends, you ought to create space. You say that there seems to hardly be a chance of you actually getting together with her, physically, and that alone should be enough to tell you, trying for more than friendship is unhealthy for you. You should try again to separate yourself. If it comes to it, have someone put a password on your communication applications so you can't use them until after your mind is past her. Accountability partners help.
[QUOTE=thisBrad;35875888]Well I definitely was over thinking that :v: I told her I wasn't interested and she said "ok cool :p"[/QUOTE] lol seith eat your words
[QUOTE=thisBrad;35875888]Well I definitely was over thinking that :v: I told her I wasn't interested and she said "ok cool :p"[/QUOTE] what the fuck did you expect?
[QUOTE=BlazeFresh;35876623]lol seith eat your words[/QUOTE] I usually don't mumble, but regardless, it's was your interpretation.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;35863834]Welp, so it turns out that the girl I had dated and went prom with (unsurprisingly) was likely dating me purely so she could get a date to prom. While I was aware this was a possibility, hearing it confirmed has severely pissed me off in the worst way possible. At the moment, I simply left a message on her phone (she's been ignoring me) and told her that we needed to talk. Because even if it's true, I want to hear it from her, I'm not that idiotic. This is the second time I've done this. I'm pretty close to flying off the handle. Both the second time I've been in this situation, and the second time I've left a message telling her that we needed to talk. Fuck high school right now.[/QUOTE] Welp, so I finally got to talk to her today about shit, and everything is OK! Hoorah! She didn't do it for the prom date, I just happened to be a nice guy who asked her out, and despite her not being interested she decided to try it anyway. The fact we broke up in the car was a result of me pushing her to tell me what was wrong, basically. And while we have both come to the conclusion that dumping me on the way home from prom was a bitchy thing to do, she herself is not a bitch, because neither of us really knew what the hell we were doing. She felt really bad for doing it, but on the other hand she said she didn't want to drag the relationship out and just make me feel worse because honestly, she wasn't that interested in me to begin with, so I'm OK with that. Now I can move on with my life and not be pissed at her or myself or anything. I'm feeling a bit anxious because I feel like I could've said more, but I'm just happy that things are over, we're on good terms again, and we can move on.
[QUOTE=1STrandomman;35866361]Let me ask you a couple questions: what's better, beating yourself up over the [i]possibility[/i] of a relationship, or accepting rejection and finding someone else? Secondly, are you willing to risk your friendship over this?[/QUOTE] I'm sorry, I was just freaking out a little. I think I'll just wait for a while and see what happens.
I seem to have the worst luck around crowds of women at my school Friday: Get kicked in the nuts in front of all of them Monday: Get tripped by friend in front of all of them Today: Crash into vending machine in front of all of them What the hell.
[QUOTE=Zambies!;35880000]I seem to have the worst luck around crowds of women at my school Friday: Get kicked in the nuts in front of all of them Monday: Get tripped by friend in front of all of them Today: Crash into vending machine in front of all of them What the hell.[/QUOTE] Avatar fits. Anyways, what would be the the least socially exposing way to find out if a girl likes me back?
You could recruit female friends of friends if you're in school, but you are banking on them being hush hush.
you don't try to find out, you're just going to convince yourself you need proof girls like you back before you ask them out. you don't need that, just ask them out. if they are interested, they say yes. voila. if not, no harm done. don't have to make it awkward.
[QUOTE=joshjet;35880032]Avatar fits. Anyways, what would be the the least socially exposing way to find out if a girl likes me back?[/QUOTE] [QUOTE]I like this girl-- Stop, stop right there. You like her? Ask her out.[/QUOTE] Quoth the OP. It makes you look a LOT better if you just ask them out.
[QUOTE=joshjet;35880032]Avatar fits. Anyways, what would be the the least socially exposing way to find out if a girl likes me back?[/QUOTE] "Hey, wanna go out to [insert activity] with me on [insert date]?" If it is anything but "Yes" or "No, but how about [insert alternate date]?" the answer you have is that she doesn't like you. e. 3k posts! I am slowly losing my life!
[QUOTE=Seith;35874145]I shall relate to your post in that following fashion; "You never think the exact same way as the other person" - "when you can't get that most people are just happy with something that sounds nice" .... You just did it - mind reading. What made you conclude, sorry, deduct most people would be happy with something like the sentence a few posts above? Taking in consideration his particular situation, did you actually ask the girl after said sentence was spoken, how did she feel? Even if you did, do you really believe she found it "the perfect answer" ? None of us knows. Furthermore, you neglected my real question; why is it, you feel, anybody for that matter that supports your approach, the need to not hurt the person? Take in consideration what we said also; you cannot predict what would make her happy or not, so if you truly believe that, it raises a deeper question.... Why is it you so desperately need to not hurt her, when you can't tell exactly what she thinks?[/QUOTE] quick answer so this doesn't stretch out into a massive shitstorm. judging reactions is easy, knowing that someone thinks you're a twat and hypocritical just from one sentence is pushing it a bit far. it's also called empathy and you prefer not to get a reputation of being a dick to everyone.
empathy? this is the guy who said he didn't give a fuck if a friend was bothered by something.
If you're worried about your feelings being "socially exposed" then you probably aren't ready to tackle them.
seith doesn't understand how human emotions relate to the physical world. he only understands that humans have emotions, and that there is a physical world.
[QUOTE=Lukeo;35874225]Basically ignore Seith and just wing it[/QUOTE] Oh man, thread title right there :v:
[QUOTE=thisispain;35881880]empathy? this is the guy who said he didn't give a fuck if a friend was bothered by something.[/QUOTE] Really, did I, or was it again your interpretation so you could make it easier to dismiss what I say? [editline]9th May 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35883454]seith doesn't understand how human emotions relate to the physical world. he only understands that humans have emotions, and that there is a physical world.[/QUOTE] Obviously.
no i asked you if that was what you thought and you said yes
[QUOTE=Devodiere;35881868]quick answer so this doesn't stretch out into a massive shitstorm. judging reactions is easy, knowing that someone thinks you're a twat and hypocritical just from one sentence is pushing it a bit far. it's also called empathy and you prefer not to get a reputation of being a dick to everyone.[/QUOTE] Judging reactions is easy? Who are you, Dr. Cal Lightman? You said it yourself - you can never think the exact same way the other side does. You assume what works best for [i]you[/i] - this isn't real sympathy so stop being a hypocrite. You assume she'd like to hear something like that. You assume she would be happy. And even though you understand this is complete nonsense made up by the people around you, so they could feel better when you have to hurt someone, you choose to be "empathetic", embrace this made up sense of "consideration towards the other person", because your reputation is important to you. Do you see the contradiction? You followed what was taught to you perfectly. You are a dick just as anybody else. You answered my question perfectly. P.S I am giving you my opinion, feel free (Everybody) to actually comprehend it instead of feeling as if I am criticizing your actions like a preaching father. [editline]9th May 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=thisispain;35884879]no i asked you if that was what you thought and you said yes[/QUOTE] Of course I did. You got any actual quotes besides what you believe was said?
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