• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=zerotwelve;34606099][quote=Chezhead]Okay, sorry for a little bit of High School drama, but here goes: Basically, this girl I know is confirmed to have a huge crush on me, and I like her back. She asked me to a dance and we went as a couple, we both dressed up, we danced together, and all that jazz. It's a really awkward thing were we don't even say we are in a relationship, but occasionally hold hands and she rests her head on me when we sit next to each other. I know it could be a lot more but this is my first relationship and I'm very inexperienced and unknowing. Well, we are going on an official date this Friday to see a movie. Any ideas? I'm thinking "The Woman in Black" or maybe "Chronicle". I think she likes scary movies. Any ideas on which movie or general tips on this first "date"? Should there be dinner beforehand? I would trust you older ladies and gentlemen, as most of you seem a lot more experienced than some kid in high school.[/quote] I wouldn't bother taking her to a fine restaurant seeing as you're in high school, but maybe after the movie just ask her if she wants to go somewhere to eat. While you're there, just try and bring up the conversation of your relationship and where you stand with each other.[/QUOTE] Thanks for the advice.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;34610133]You should take it from DrBreen, Jo. He knows all the ins and outs of social interaction and fitting in![/QUOTE] Well sarcasm aside, that's actually true, i'm the guy you want at a big party, back in high school i was pretty much the popular dude, not that i cared much about social status, this helped me when i went to work at a fancy club as a public relations guy part time, it's what's paying my college. How's that for social interaction. I don't know what you guys know about social interaction and fitting in, but obviously don't know that things work very differentely online
Girl I liked admitted to liking me back alot. Downside, she says she doesnt want to "Label" it as anything, yet atleast (Her words). No fucking idea what that means or what to do next, ideas?
it means she's uncomfortable which could mean a lot of other things.
[QUOTE=Chezhead;34610273]Thanks for the advice.[/QUOTE] you shouldn't worry too much about going all "official", please just try to have as much fun as possible with her (and her with you, of course), did you guys kiss yet? Zerotwelve is right though, you're too young for fancy dinner, i can tell what you guys have is great, and when you're ready you should tell her about your feelings, etc But dude she likes you, that's the win right there, all you gotta do is not fuck it up. please don't afraid to take things slow, my first relationship was a shipwreck because i was a needy cunt and took things too fast. [editline]8th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Bread Dog;34610374]Girl I liked admitted to liking me back alot. Downside, she says she doesnt want to "Label" it as anything. No fucking idea what that means or what to do next, ideas?[/QUOTE] She's interested, that's what matters now maybe she's embarassed to declare a relationship with you to her friends and being afraid to be judged perhaps? just go with it though, no 'label' is better than no girl.
[QUOTE=DrBreen;34610296]Well sarcasm aside, that's actually true, i'm the guy you want at a big party, back in high school i was pretty much the popular dude, not that i cared much about social status, this helped me when i went to work at a fancy club as a public relations guy part time, it's what's paying my college. How's that for social interaction. I don't know what you guys know about social interaction and fitting in, but obviously don't know that things work very differentely online[/QUOTE] with credentials and a resume like that, who [i]wouldn't[/i] want to be your friend?!
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34610552]with credentials and a resume like that, who [i]wouldn't[/i] want to be your friend?![/QUOTE] INTERNET PEOPLE now, please, stop being passive agressive, you're ruining it for the good people asking advice!
I'm amazing. My life is success. When I tell you to go jump off a cliff, do it. Trust me, I've been through high school and I was popular at the time.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;34611077]I'm amazing. My life is success. When I tell you to go jump off a cliff, do it. Trust me, I've been through high school and I was popular at the time.[/QUOTE] well you obviously weren't popular enough for it matter, trust me, you should try harder. Besides! i'm the peace man, here to bring peace and advice, Jo the Shmo the shmo is the one that brought up the subject, so why don't you just run along, and go back to your cozy little rock, okay baby
[QUOTE=DrBreen;34610453]you shouldn't worry too much about going all "official", please just try to have as much fun as possible with her (and her with you, of course), did you guys kiss yet? Zerotwelve is right though, you're too young for fancy dinner, i can tell what you guys have is great, and when you're ready you should tell her about your feelings, etc But dude she likes you, that's the win right there, all you gotta do is not fuck it up. please don't afraid to take things slow, my first relationship was a shipwreck because i was a needy cunt and took things too fast.[/QUOTE] We haven't kissed. As I said earlier it was just a bit of mild cuddling (holding hands, she resting her head on me, hugs, and generally stuff that's a level above a friend zoned relationship). One more thing: How do I ask for her input? A mutual friend told me she was head over heels with me, and when I suggested things or asked for input, she agrees immediately, even if she doesn't really like it herself. Is there any way to ask questions so she cannot answer in a compliant fashion or just agree with me?
[QUOTE=Chezhead;34611186]We haven't kissed. As I said earlier it was just a bit of mild cuddling (holding hands, she resting her head on me, hugs, and generally stuff that's a level above a friend zoned relationship). One more thing: How do I ask for her input? A mutual friend told me she was head over heels with me, and when I suggested things or asked for input, she agrees immediately, even if she doesn't really like it herself. Is there any way to ask questions so she cannot answer in a compliant fashion or just agree with me?[/QUOTE] looks like you guys are still too shy for a kiss, maybe just go nuts and give her a gentle kiss on the lips. That usually happens in the first stages of a relationship, she's afraid that if she disagree's, you might stop liking her or something Dude you got this :D sometimes you gotta take a chance, hopefully a small kiss will trigger a full blown relationship for your guys.
[QUOTE=DrBreen;34611268]looks like you guys are still too shy for a kiss, maybe just go nuts and give her a gentle kiss on the lips. That usually happens in the first stages of a relationship, she's afraid that if she disagree's, you might stop liking her or something Dude you got this :D sometimes you gotta take a chance, hopefully a small kiss will trigger a full blown relationship for your guys.[/QUOTE] Thanks. The night after the dance, when I went to give her a good-night "kiss/show of affection", we just hugged for a while, then I attempted to give her a light kiss on the forehead. I ended up with a mouth-full of hair. Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'll report back after Friday's date!
[QUOTE=Chezhead;34611339]Thanks. The night after the dance, when I went to give her a good-night "kiss/show of affection", we just hugged for a while, then I attempted to give her a light kiss on the forehead. I ended up with a mouth-full of hair. Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'll report back after Friday's date![/QUOTE] Good luck man, don't fuck it up! :D
[img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14407408/lol.jpg[/img] Also, Breen, I don't like your attitude. At least in that one post it is fairly obnoxious. It feels as though you are trying to be superior. And the assumptions. Horrible. High school really doesn't matter, irrelevant of your "social position." Ultimately it is only what you make it, but there is/was no reason for me to make anything of it.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;34611670][img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14407408/lol.jpg[/img][/QUOTE]all my rage
You can be nice and still get relationships. Nice guys tend to not be confident or aggressive in their approach. Also Dr. Breen, try showing your diplomatic social skills, they'd be more useful here.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;34611670][img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/14407408/lol.jpg[/img] Also, Breen, I don't like your attitude. At least in that one post it is fairly obnoxious. It feels as though you are trying to be superior. And the assumptions. Horrible. High school really doesn't matter, irrelevant of your "social position." Ultimately it is only what you make it, but there is/was no reason for me to make anything of it.[/QUOTE] I saw this shared on facebook, and was trying to find somewhere to rage about it. As I said before, I'm not an expert on relationships, but most of my life as a male has been around females. My two closest friends until age 10-11 were girls, 40%-50% of my friends currently are girls, and I go to a D&D group thing every other week where 4 out of 7 are female. I tend to be emotionally more feminine than males, and understand the female side of sociality than male. Here's how the friend zone works. Males are friends with females, and to females, are good friends. This works out all fine and dandy, until a male expresses interest in a female. When this happens with nerds, it's usually being a "nice guy", observing this woman from a distance, and 90% of the time, this male will start looking her up on facebook, fantasizing about her, being nice to her, but never actually ask her out. Meanwhile, females are a lot more emotional. They worry about friendships vs. relationships, and usually don't like said male. If she would, and she liked him enough, she would flirt and "hit on" him enough for him to notice her romantically. Besides, most people on the internet are socially inept. I'm not going to lie, I used to be. Of course, Facepunch is a bit more hip and social than places like 4chan's sad, lonely board of /r9k/, but for the most part, are still awkward. They are never confident or really do anything outside of being nice. That's what happened to most of the people sharing that graph: They were too cowardly to actually express romantic interest in her besides being nice to her and eventually awkwardly asking her out. I would suggest, if you wanted to express your like for this female, to touch her. When you talk, touch her somehow. Be charismatic. Have a social life outside of her or her friends. Have female friends besides her. Flirt with other girls. Also, whatever you do, don't ever go up to her with flowers or directly "ask her out". All friends I know failed or were politely rejected or friend zoned when they did this. All relationships I know of were either friendships growing into something more from a fun night out, two people who were "meant to be" (I can't explain it, but I know one or two friends who just met someone and clung to each other like glue), or a female expressing interest in a male. After this, I have no idea. All the gibberish I wrote above is just my high school observations with female and male friends alike, and various stories from them. Anything in collage or above could work with anything I said, or couldn't.
no, you're actually quite spot-on. i think women in general are not convinced of the whole "nerd nice guy concept" and thus it does create a lot of awkwardness. and awkwardness is what makes a relationship really unbearable. most people would prefer to be on equal terms when going out.
It's just one of those typical relationship clichés "nice guys finish last" or "No sex until third date" or "Chicks dig scars" The main thing is as always, confidence and you only have to break through that barrier once to realise that it's not all that big of a deal.
[QUOTE=Chezhead;34612109]I saw this shared on facebook, and was trying to find somewhere to rage about it. As I said before, I'm not an expert on relationships, but most of my life as a male has been around females. My two closest friends until age 10-11 were girls, 40%-50% of my friends currently are girls, and I go to a D&D group thing every other week where 4 out of 7 are female. I tend to be emotionally more feminine than males, and understand the female side of sociality than male. Here's how the friend zone works. Males are friends with females, and to females, are good friends. This works out all fine and dandy, until a male expresses interest in a female. When this happens with nerds, it's usually being a "nice guy", observing this woman from a distance, and 90% of the time, this male will start looking her up on facebook, fantasizing about her, being nice to her, but never actually ask her out. Meanwhile, females are a lot more emotional. They worry about friendships vs. relationships, and usually don't like said male. If she would, and she liked him enough, she would flirt and "hit on" him enough for him to notice her romantically. Besides, most people on the internet are socially inept. I'm not going to lie, I used to be. Of course, Facepunch is a bit more hip and social than places like 4chan's sad, lonely board of /r9k/, but for the most part, are still awkward. They are never confident or really do anything outside of being nice. That's what happened to most of the people sharing that graph: They were too cowardly to actually express romantic interest in her besides being nice to her and eventually awkwardly asking her out. I would suggest, if you wanted to express your like for this female, to touch her. When you talk, touch her somehow. Be charismatic. Have a social life outside of her or her friends. Have female friends besides her. Flirt with other girls. Also, whatever you do, don't ever go up to her with flowers or directly "ask her out". All friends I know failed or were politely rejected or friend zoned when they did this. All relationships I know of were either friendships growing into something more from a fun night out, two people who were "meant to be" (I can't explain it, but I know one or two friends who just met someone and clung to each other like glue), or a female expressing interest in a male. After this, I have no idea. All the gibberish I wrote above is just my high school observations with female and male friends alike, and various stories from them. Anything in collage or above could work with anything I said, or couldn't.[/QUOTE] best post in the thread by all means
[QUOTE=Chezhead;34612109] I would suggest, if you wanted to express your like for this female, to touch her. When you talk, touch her somehow. Be charismatic. Have a social life outside of her or her friends. Have female friends besides her. Flirt with other girls. Also, whatever you do, don't ever go up to her with flowers or directly "ask her out". All friends I know failed or were politely rejected or friend zoned when they did this. All relationships I know of were either friendships growing into something more from a fun night out, two people who were "meant to be" (I can't explain it, but I know one or two friends who just met someone and clung to each other like glue), or a female expressing interest in a male. [/QUOTE] For a second I thought you meant physically, just like, fondle her or something.
I almost feel like re-posting it with the words "Because I treat girls nice," with "Because I am too scared to try."
[QUOTE=aliendrone123;34612376]For a second I thought you meant physically, just like, fondle her or something.[/QUOTE] thats sorta true too like the other day i was having a really plain conversation with this girl, but she put her hand on my leg at one point, and then i put my hand on her shoulder, and touched her hands it makes an average conversation into something more
[QUOTE=aliendrone123;34612376]For a second I thought you meant physically, just like, fondle her or something.[/QUOTE] Well, I guess I meant it both ways. Touch her in the arm, on the hand, or something like that during conversation. A female friend of me does that to me occasionally. She's very charismatic, and could probably persuade anyone. I refer to her actions to help me with social skills, and I would say it would work.
[QUOTE=Chezhead;34612109]I saw this shared on facebook, and was trying to find somewhere to rage about it. As I said before, I'm not an expert on relationships, but most of my life as a male has been around females. My two closest friends until age 10-11 were girls, 40%-50% of my friends currently are girls, and I go to a D&D group thing every other week where 4 out of 7 are female. I tend to be emotionally more feminine than males, and understand the female side of sociality than male. Here's how the friend zone works. Males are friends with females, and to females, are good friends. This works out all fine and dandy, until a male expresses interest in a female. When this happens with nerds, it's usually being a "nice guy", observing this woman from a distance, and 90% of the time, this male will start looking her up on facebook, fantasizing about her, being nice to her, but never actually ask her out. Meanwhile, females are a lot more emotional. They worry about friendships vs. relationships, and usually don't like said male. If she would, and she liked him enough, she would flirt and "hit on" him enough for him to notice her romantically. Besides, most people on the internet are socially inept. I'm not going to lie, I used to be. Of course, Facepunch is a bit more hip and social than places like 4chan's sad, lonely board of /r9k/, but for the most part, are still awkward. They are never confident or really do anything outside of being nice. That's what happened to most of the people sharing that graph: They were too cowardly to actually express romantic interest in her besides being nice to her and eventually awkwardly asking her out. I would suggest, if you wanted to express your like for this female, to touch her. When you talk, touch her somehow. Be charismatic. Have a social life outside of her or her friends. Have female friends besides her. Flirt with other girls. Also, whatever you do, don't ever go up to her with flowers or directly "ask her out". All friends I know failed or were politely rejected or friend zoned when they did this. All relationships I know of were either friendships growing into something more from a fun night out, two people who were "meant to be" (I can't explain it, but I know one or two friends who just met someone and clung to each other like glue), or a female expressing interest in a male. After this, I have no idea. All the gibberish I wrote above is just my high school observations with female and male friends alike, and various stories from them. Anything in collage or above could work with anything I said, or couldn't.[/QUOTE] Yeah, this is the most important thing in all this relationship madness. 5* post.
Asking this girl to prom tomorrow if I finish all my errands. I've got to make up a PE class (forgot my sweats, and if you have any missing you fail high school). Also, my student council advisor is probably going to chew us out because the lower classes haven't been pulling their weight, bit if I get through all that I'm gonna head down to her study hall, chat her up like always and pop the question. Wish me luck/testicular fortitude!
I wish you testicular fortitude.
I wish you luck.
Why do I always need to pull out a god damned dictionary everything Seith posts a rant ? Also going to a Valentines Day Dance :D
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;34613330]Asking this girl to prom tomorrow if I finish all my errands. I've got to make up a PE class (forgot my sweats, and if you have any missing you fail high school). Also, my student council advisor is probably going to chew us out because the lower classes haven't been pulling their weight, bit if I get through all that I'm gonna head down to her study hall, chat her up like always and pop the question. Wish me luck/testicular fortitude![/QUOTE] I wish you luck. I have to ask a girl to prom soon too.. I'm gonna be in need of some extra testicular fortitude as I'll be asking in front of the school and doing something a little cheesy.. whether it's worth it or not we'll see I guess.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.