The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
well don't be, it's not going to change anything and you're only going to feel worse
find something to do to take your mind off it
[editline]21st May 2012[/editline]
if she's less than a week late then you really need to chill out
So I have a girlfriend and stuff, when we're kissing (we've done nothing as of now) like I want to know if she wants more, I think I've found a spot where if I touch her on a place on her back she starts breathing more heavily and like really goes for the kiss. She hasn't done anything with a boy before, I've done everything apart from sex with a girl. So like, how do I tell if she wants to go further, I'm worried that she doesn't want me to. I've put my hand up her top (didn't feel anything, she was on top of me) and just made sure she was okay with it, she said she was fine, then she put hers up mine so like, does she want more or what? also i was really nervous about posting this cause idk but please don't like be mean :(
Also i'm not saying i want more i just want to know where i stand atm
[QUOTE=Oicani Gonzales;36042378]im scared nonetheless
like really really fucking scared
[editline]21st May 2012[/editline]
i want her to have a blood test but now's not the time to ask[/QUOTE]
Chill out, Autumn's right.
So long as you've used contraceptives she's probably not pregnant.
[QUOTE=Erasus;36042421]So I have a girlfriend and stuff, when we're kissing (we've done nothing as of now) like I want to know if she wants more, I think I've found a spot where if I touch her on a place on her back she starts breathing more heavily and like really goes for the kiss. She hasn't done anything with a boy before, I've done everything apart from sex with a girl. So like, how do I tell if she wants to go further, I'm worried that she doesn't want me to. I've put my hand up her top (didn't feel anything, she was on top of me) and just made sure she was okay with it, she said she was fine, then she put hers up mine so like, does she want more or what? also i was really nervous about posting this cause idk but please don't like be mean :(
Also i'm not saying i want more i just want to know where i stand atm[/QUOTE]
Try avoid having conversations about it, it's kinda awkward and makes it a lot more tense and unnatural than it should be, and instead try to just escalate physically at a pace that feels natural and comfortable for you both. Next time you're making out, position your body/leg so it's against her so she's able to pretty much grind on you. Use your hands to play with her hair, feel her neck, run your hands up and down her curves and pull her body against yours. Enjoy the warmth of her bare skin; her tummy, her back, her sides, and as long as she isn't making any verbal/non-verbal indications of wanting you to stop, eventually move to her chest.
If you're both still kissing and she still seems into it, then don't hesitate to be a little more assertive and dominant. Pull back from the kiss and look deep into her eyes with your best George Clooney impersonation, then push her back onto the bed/whatever or start undoing her bra/removing her shirt, and your own as well. You can figure the rest out (:
All in all though, just progress at a pace that feels comfortable and natural. Honestly, if you just avoid getting so caught up in your own head about it, and avoid worrying about if she likes you doing this or that etc, then it will just flow smoothly. I'm sure if she was actually unhappy or uncomfortable, you would be able to trust her to tell you that, and vise versa, I'm sure she trusts you enough to let you know how she feels and for you to respond accordingly. Until then though, just enjoy her company and don't be afraid to be a bit more assertive!
Well, we're only early into the relationship, like really early but when I asked if she was alright, it wasn't a conversation I just pulled back for a second and asked if she was okay with it, and then continued. Should I keep asking if shes alright when moving up her chest? I kind of don't want her to stop me, I mean I do if shes uncomfortable but like I don't want her to as in I'd like to know where to stop without her verbally telling me to avoid awkwardness.
I really really like her and Idk what I'd do if we finished (We've been speaking for about a year, we haven't been together long but you get my drift) so I don't want to like push any further, and I kinda don't wanna wait for her to do it incase shes thinking I'm losing interest.
I've been doing everything you saying when making out, shes never grinded though, but idk, that's cause she hasn't done anything with anyone other than kissing before. I'm not sure, it's such a tricky situation. Thanks for your help man!
If she doesn't want to do it she'll say, relax.
[QUOTE=Erasus;36042804]Well, we're only early into the relationship, like really early but when I asked if she was alright, it wasn't a conversation I just pulled back for a second and asked if she was okay with it, and then continued. Should I keep asking if shes alright when moving up her chest? I kind of don't want her to stop me, I mean I do if shes uncomfortable but like I don't want her to as in I'd like to know where to stop without her verbally telling me to avoid awkwardness.
I really really like her and Idk what I'd do if we finished (We've been speaking for about a year, we haven't been together long but you get my drift) so I don't want to like push any further, and I kinda don't wanna wait for her to do it incase shes thinking I'm losing interest.
I've been doing everything you saying when making out, shes never grinded though, but idk, that's cause she hasn't done anything with anyone other than kissing before. I'm not sure, it's such a tricky situation. Thanks for your help man![/QUOTE]
You're just over thinking things, just do whatever comes natural
[QUOTE=Erasus;36042804]Well, we're only early into the relationship, like really early but when I asked if she was alright, it wasn't a conversation I just pulled back for a second and asked if she was okay with it, and then continued. Should I keep asking if shes alright when moving up her chest? I kind of don't want her to stop me, I mean I do if shes uncomfortable but like I don't want her to as in I'd like to know where to stop without her verbally telling me to avoid awkwardness.
I really really like her and Idk what I'd do if we finished (We've been speaking for about a year, we haven't been together long but you get my drift) so I don't want to like push any further, and I kinda don't wanna wait for her to do it incase shes thinking I'm losing interest.
I've been doing everything you saying when making out, shes never grinded though, but idk, that's cause she hasn't done anything with anyone other than kissing before. I'm not sure, it's such a tricky situation. Thanks for your help man![/QUOTE]
I established with my girlfriend that if she doesn't feel comfortable she should just voice it as I didn't want her to feel forced into anything. Once you know she understands that and is able to say no then just progress normally; if she gives you an indication in the moment not to go further then you know your boundaries, if not then she wants it (duh). However, if she lets you go further and she doesn't want it then it's her fault for not voicing up, in which case you find out by perhaps continuing to say she's able to say no if she isn't comfortable as things progress once or twice. Then eventually nothing needs to be said.
But yeah I realize where you're coming from with the conflict between not knowing whether to go further or wait. It might be awkward to establish it (it wasn't for us though), but would it be better to have a chance at being romantic or establishing that you're not accidentally fucking raping your girlfriend?
Cheers guys, really appreciated. I over think things all of the time, like far too much, but it's just something i do. but yeah cheers, its settled my mind i guess
Dude it's really nothing you need to establish, as long as you're not yanking her pants down she's not gonna yell rape at you.
Non-verbal questions like unbuttoning her pants, it's all about body language.
Don't forget to fist
Cut down amount of contact with crush, aquire flirt.
To be honest, I ain't putting no money on it being anything.
Just that, she knows that I've had a crush on her.
And then we have a chat and talk about languages and she lists up some languages that she barely speaks and I get: Ich will Sex mit dir haben (all tough she wasn't totally correct with the grammar).
[QUOTE=Seith;36029905]Sounds like she's interested. Remove distressing thoughts from mind and continue according to plan.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=thisispain;36032622]females beep boop[/QUOTE]
I know I'm late, but I laughed at this more than I've laughed at anything on the internet in the last month, thank you pain.
its really true though, sometimes people ask weird questions in this thread
like "how do I get a girl to do x?" as if there is a set of instructions on how to accomplish that specific goal
Well if only that were true.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36047709]its really true though, sometimes people ask weird questions in this thread
like "how do I get a girl to do x?" as if there is a set of instructions on how to accomplish that specific goal[/QUOTE]
well, there's this odd belief that people have that somehow women aren't people. the phrase "girls aren't machines you can put your kindness coins into until sex pops out" has a lot of truth in it, because there's a lot of really self-involved people that don't realize everyone thinks and feels just like they do, except with varying opinions. they just think they can do whatever and that people have set reactions to what they do.
it's like this: some people believe that their life is a movie and they're the main character, and everyone else is relegated to being a supporting role, but what they don't understand is that all the people they've relegated to the supporting cast ALSO believe they're the main character.
Asking a girl to go on a walk with me. Wish me luck FP-ers.
People take romantic/drama movies too seriously sometimes
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36047709]its really true though, sometimes people ask weird questions in this thread
like "how do I get a girl to do x?" as if there is a set of instructions on how to accomplish that specific goal[/QUOTE]
I understand where it comes from though - ie if you've never ever asked a girl out, you're going to be pretty nervous about it and try and get validation, so that you don't make a fool out of yourself in front of the girl.
[editline]21st May 2012[/editline]
Today I was gonna ask my co-worker out but then I found out she's 5 years older than me. sucks
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36048265]I understand where it comes from though - ie if you've never ever asked a girl out, you're going to be pretty nervous about it and try and get validation, so that you don't make a fool out of yourself in front of the girl.
[editline]21st May 2012[/editline]
Today I was gonna ask my co-worker out but then I found out she's 5 years older than me. sucks[/QUOTE]
So? Why should that stop you? Five years isn't that much.
[QUOTE=dmillerw;36048512]So? Why should that stop you? Five years isn't that much.[/QUOTE]
uh it can be huge, you dont know how old disseminate is
[editline]22nd May 2012[/editline]
hes 17
17 to 22 is pretty big
18 in a couple weeks, she's 23
Divide by two, add 7.
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;36048892]Divide by two, add 7.[/QUOTE]Only works if you and said person are 18 or under
Of course stupid questions come from stupid individuals, but suppose that I've been stark raving mad over a girl for a good year now, and while its undoubtedly due to some kind of lust at first sight, I did have the balls to talk to her for maybe a month. That was the best month ever, and despite me still not getting anywhere (she never really talked, but she never opened up to anyone) and I still wasn't really a friend but anyway...
I stop talking to her out of frustration and a minor jealousy issue and I kind of blatantly ignored her for a good five months, and it was quite obvious. During this time, my friend began to fall for her, but they never went out due to his realization that she was bat shit insane.
Now, for some reason I suppressed all feelings to her, but they've emerged much more fiercely than ever. I only come to ask if it is advisable to try and reengage in some conversation before the school year ends, perhaps a way of apologizing for being a cold silent bastard?
I apologize if any of this was jumbled or confusing in any shape.
Avoid apologizing, it's just unnecessary and kinda awkward and I don't think you've done much to warrant apologizing anyway. Just be casual about it, and use the distance as an excuse to set up a date to 'catch up' - "Hey, we haven't spoken in ages! How've you been blah blah blah, let's get together for coffee on the weekend and catch up, how's Saturday? :)" or whatever else works for you.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;36049272]Avoid apologizing, it's just unnecessary and kinda awkward and I don't think you've done much to warrant apologizing anyway. Just be casual about it, and use the distance as an excuse to set up a date to 'catch up' - "Hey, we haven't spoken in ages! How've you been blah blah blah, let's get together for coffee on the weekend and catch up, how's Saturday? :)" or whatever else works for you.[/QUOTE]
Eh, I did kind of coldly ignore her and such, and I'm not exactly the best looking (Asian :V)
Haha, what does that have to do with anything, I'm Asian.
[editline]22nd May 2012[/editline]
That came out wrong, I mean, looks aren't anywhere near as important as self-confidence. Don't get caught up on the little things. Be calm but assertive, ask her out and take it from there.
I have a friend at work who is currently cheating on his girlfriend with someone else that I work with. I feel really bad for his girlfriend and I want to tell her, but he would probably get extremely pissed off at me. Maybe I shouldn't get involved.
no way fuck that CPOS
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.