The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
I would really love to walk without shoes, but in my city I am going to catch a disease fast and probably die because of some infection.
Not to mention the amounts of broken glass in the streets of the city.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;36184307][t]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/14407408/302664_10150509484054768_770489767_11468538_1815248909_n.jpg[/t]
I'm on the left, the other two are my older brothers.[/QUOTE]
lmao
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;36184307][t]https://dl.dropbox.com/u/14407408/302664_10150509484054768_770489767_11468538_1815248909_n.jpg[/t]
I'm on the left, the other two are my older brothers.[/QUOTE]
you look like a right cunt
[editline]3rd June 2012[/editline]
also lol @ white people wearing snapbacks
lol i was actually surprised, he doesn't dress bad. you guys obviously think he looks like a douchebag, but it wouldnt shock me if girls were pretty attracted to him. maybe the shoe thing is weird, but other than that. pretty normal west coast style.
I love the typical internet attitude to seeing a picture of someone in real life: 'wow what a fag/douchebag/cunt' tbh he doesn't look that bad, remember kids its bad to be prejudiced against strangers.
[QUOTE=Cheesemonkey;36184887]you look like a right cunt
[editline]3rd June 2012[/editline]
also lol @ white people wearing snapbacks[/QUOTE]
I rarely wear a hat anyhow.
But when I do, I do my best to make it look fucking ridiculous.
[editline]3rd June 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;36184676]Not to mention the amounts of broken glass in the streets of the city.[/QUOTE]
If I hit up Seattle I'll wear shoes.
I am conscious of where my feet are going.
Shoeless is awesome.
Hello Facepuncers! It seems this might be my first post which I hope will bring more post counts later on, but for now, it's time to post here about things.
A friend of mine introduced me to a friend of hers, claiming that she has a lot of common interests, she is funny, a good person and a decent girl, and I was delighted to try to meet her. It didn't happen as everyone expects to, going out with my gal friend and her, the conversation started over IM, don't ask me why, that's how things are in this city, especially when girls are really shy or there is something else in between. Either way, we've started talking, and on the first day, we've talked for over 4 hours, we noticed that we really had a lot of things in common, we had a fun time talking, and on that same day, I offered to help her, to create a new forum for her and host it on my site, and I've made her that and she was really happy about it. The next day, we started talking again, but apparently she was the one starting the conversation, so we've talked more, helped her set up more on the forum, and she was so delighted about it, that made her very happy. Still day I've spent more time talking to her, again, you can guess on what, which went to be like that the third day too, and then after talking a bit, I've asked her number and then asked her to go out for a walk. She gave me her number, but she is on another network, which isn't much of a problem for me, but she claimed she couldn't go out because she was at home alone, since her parents were working on a night shift. I said, no problem, and after that she said we'll go out the next day. The next day, it didn't happen, it was a really shitty weather out there, and we couldn't get out, and I wasn't even home much, since I've been busy with a couple of things, and then I've spent a crapload of time with my friends to help to get my friend's car started, but that's another story. The following day, again, it was raining like crap, so nothing on the dating part happened, so again, we've been talking a lot online, and been watching a series of her together on those video sharing sites, which made her happy, but i did this to make her happy to make her like me even more. After talking, and before she'd head to bed, she wanted to set up the date on the following day, because we weren't sure what weather would come. The following day, when I was about to set our date, it started raining again. I swear, it's been one shitty week raining almost all the time, and especially at night. And after an hour of raining, it finally stopped, but when I wanted to ask her out, she said she can't go out because her mother doesn't let her to go out after 4 PM. I was like the crap is this, I mean she's not 4, she's 16 for Pete's sake. Maybe she was grounded of something, because she isn't even allowed to go out with her friends, because that is what she told her.
I said, fuck, I am very lucky, having obstacles is part of my life it seems. And yesterday, because curiosity was starting to get into my sense, I started asking a friend of her, particularly about her. And she then told me her parents doesn't let her out, so she really told me the truth, because it would be pretty much weird that after a huge amount of talking, and also trusting me and telling me a lot of secrets about her, would just pull the plug on it. So after hearing that, made me feel better, since I have started to think that she wants to avoid getting out, but apparently that is not the case. I found it weird that she can't go out, yet she has a tattoo on her back with a butterfly. Fuck logic, amirite? And
still yesterday, I've asked a gal friend of mine who apparently is classmate with her, about what she can tell me, and she claimed she is a good person, studies well, and from all the pictures I've seen with her, she doesn't seem to be those kind of girls who are wearing trashy or provocative clothing. She's into japanese culture, anime, and is a very open person too. More or less, I know her way of thinking, because we have a lot in common and we sort of think alike as well, but then she told me that, from what she heard from the class, she is seeing someone else. And then it all begins. That feeling when you feel that everything you did, won't be meaning her too much, that all the time spent with her, no matter what you would do next, she would be more interested in him, even if he can't offer what I can, and it would be best to just shut up and sit down. Well I've done that once, and I won't do it again. I have invested way too much feelings for her and way too much assistance in everything for her, and i won't let all these go to waste. I also might have thought that, the one she is seeing, might be me, but what are the odds for that? Also, it might not be true and I shouldn't take what they've said, but then again, you don't know what to think.
I like her too much, and I want to do whatever it takes to get her more interested in me and start dating. And there are a lot of reasons why I'd do that, because she's one of the girls that I know is what I truly want, instead of a relationship that doesn't last long, which happens with me with mostly generic girls. What do you think I should do about it? Ask her if she is seeing anyone? Tell her what I really feel about her? But whatever my question would be, it would be best asking her face to face. I hope this might not be too much and boring to read, but then again, helping someone is a kind gesture, and I've done a lot of gestures for her too. Also, seems by accident I stumbled upon a site sent by my friend, more like a dating site, where I've seen her profile and pictures about her, and that also stirved my interest in her, and this was before my friend introduced me to her.
Holy christ that's a big post.
[quote]after a huge amount of talking, and also trusting me and telling me a lot of secrets about her, would just pull the plug on it[/quote]
Pull the plug on what? You've been IMing for a week or two.
[quote]I found it weird that she can't go out, yet she has a tattoo on her back with a butterfly[/quote]
She's not interested. The curfew excuse is clearly bullshit if she got tattoos and her parents are OK with it. Making tons of excuses and not rescheduling means she doesn't want to go out.
[quote]from what she heard from the class, she is seeing someone else[/quote]
When you heard this, you should've moved on [b]instantly[/b]. Do not get involved with this, ever.
[quote]because she's one of the girls that I know is what I truly want[/quote]
There's a term for this called infatuation
[quote]I've seen her profile and pictures about her, and that also stirved my interest in her, and this was before my friend introduced me to her.[/quote]
Now you're just stalking her.
[quote]I like her too much, and I want to do whatever it takes to get her more interested in me and start dating[/quote]
No
No
no
NO
[I]NO[/I]
Stop this. You're sounding like the nerd that never talked to a girl in your entire life, and when one suddenly wants to be a friend, you start crushing on her hard. Literally, I was there. The only difference between your case and mine is that mine took a year to get over the girl. You think that she's perfect, exactly the type of girl that you want to date when in reality she's just an average girl that isn't special. You're infatuated with her and nothing good will come of this.
In my situation, it literally went on for so long that my feelings only stopped when she actually said up front that she "wasn't interested". She's not giving you hints - you're magically thinking. Because you haven't known her all that long, all it'll take is a bit of isolation from her. Cut contact.
By the way, she has a boyfriend. If that's not enough of a hint for you, I question your maturity.
[quote]Tell her what I really feel about her?[/quote]
As a footnote, never do this.
I understand if you've never been in any relationships/had female friends, that's probably why you're behaving like this (it was for me). Basically, go out more, talk to girls more, surround yourself by female friends and you'll get the hang of it.
So I've been really social the past month or so. Went to every hangout, event, etc. that was offered to me. Now I've gotta focus on my speech skills, less mumbling and stuttering and more clear speech!
[QUOTE=Glitch360;36190437]So I've been really social the past month or so. Went to every hangout, event, etc. that was offered to me. Now I've gotta focus on my speech skills, less mumbling and stuttering and more clear speech![/QUOTE]
Get some rocks/pebbles (clean them up) and then try and talk to people with the rocks/pebbles in your mouth.
wat
You heard the man
[QUOTE=Glitch360;36190551]wat[/QUOTE]
If you can talk around rocks, you can talk clear as Mexican-cleaned glass without them.
I'm not sure how serious I am being, yet.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]Pull the plug on what? You've been IMing for a week or two.[/QUOTE]It's been a week, and it's been enough bullshitting around.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]She's not interested. The curfew excuse is clearly bullshit if she got tattoos and her parents are OK with it. Making tons of excuses and not rescheduling means she doesn't want to go out.[/QUOTE]That is true, but she rescheduled once, but the tattoo part being OK and she not wanting to go out is bullshit alright. From what my friend told me, she isn't allowed to go out with her friends either for too long. The only thing I can think of is that she did a tattoo on her own volition and got grounded for it.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]When you heard this, you should've moved on [b]instantly[/b]. Do not get involved with this, ever.[/QUOTE]Seems about right, there's no point getting involved with that.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]There's a term for this called infatuation[/QUOTE]And this might be that term.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]Now you're just stalking her.[/QUOTE]
Seems somewhat like that, yes.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]Stop this. You're sounding like the nerd that never talked to a girl in your entire life, and when one suddenly wants to be a friend, you start crushing on her hard. Literally, I was there. The only difference between your case and mine is that mine took a year to get over the girl. You think that she's perfect, exactly the type of girl that you want to date when in reality she's just an average girl that isn't special. You're infatuated with her and nothing good will come of this.[/QUOTE]
I've been with a few girls before, but it's not what I can call a long term relationship. And the difference then is that I didn't invested too much feelings into it. And it might sound like I never talked to a girl, and there might be a cause for that too, but I assure you, I am a social guy who spends time hanging out with girls and such. Also thanks for the eye opening, seems I tend to slip out from reality in the wrong moment.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]In my situation, it literally went on for so long that my feelings only stopped when she actually said up front that she "wasn't interested". She's not giving you hints - you're magically thinking. Because you haven't known her all that long, all it'll take is a bit of isolation from her. Cut contact.[/QUOTE]That won't be an issue, now will it?
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]By the way, she has a boyfriend. If that's not enough of a hint for you, I question your maturity.[/QUOTE]Class rumors can be a huge hint, but then again, I should take that hint.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]As a footnote, never do this.[/QUOTE]Now I can ask myself, what was I thinking? This happens when you start thinking like an idiot, until someone opens your eyes again.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36189805]I understand if you've never been in any relationships/had female friends, that's probably why you're behaving like this (it was for me). Basically, go out more, talk to girls more, surround yourself by female friends and you'll get the hang of it.[/QUOTE]I admit I wasn't in too many relationships, due to me losing a family member when I was 17 that resulted into grief and depression for a long while, and it took me some while to slowly regain myself from it. And where I live aren't much female friends to hang out with. Friends come and go, some busy with universities, others with work, and I am in no university right now, so you can imagine the rest.
She kind of sounds like one of those girls who will fuck you over in the long run, but I don't think she's generally interested in you.
Ah, the best kind!
I've known one but we were best friends (not anymore) the guy she dated got fucked over by her, like cheated on, lied to, etc. don't go for them
Gotta agree, those are the best kind. Best to avoid them. Nobody likes to be fucked over by anyone.
[QUOTE=ArthurHawk;36191997]Tons of answers to several statements.[/QUOTE]
I like how he says that he has been with quite some girls and then later states that he wasn't in many relationships.
Hey guys. Long time no posting.
I've been full of work at the university so I haven't been able to tell my tales here for a while.
So two good things happened during these times:
First I'm completely over my ex and I feel awesome being single. I'm not desperately looking for girls but I don't discard the possibility of having a girlfriend if it comes to it. So basically I'm keeping an open mind about girls and I have been very talkative and in a good mood towards other people, specially women. I'm feeling good and I'm feeling attractive towards others again, and it just feels awesome.
Funny thing how the fact of you being happy can change a lot how people start to see you and the type of people you start to attract. And that's where the second thing steps in:
I've met this foreign girl through a foreign friend I use to chat a lot with and since then we've been talking and talking ever since. She's been taking the year off to travel through Europe and by chance she's staying for 2 weeks in a city next to mine.
So basically I was a little nervous because I was afraid my English would be a little rusty and other typical insecurities. I was also afraid because I don't know much about the city she's staying in except the main places, so I decided to bring some friends (another friend and his gf) along with me so she could meet them and so we could visit more interesting places since they're currently live there.
It was a spontaneous thing. We had no idea where to go when we got there. So we got in the car and just drove to the place we were supposed to meet.
We then walked to her apartment and I was really surprised in a good way about her first impression. She was very nice, and talkative and you could easily talk about anything with her. And I kinda liked that.
We then when to downtown to grab some beers before dinner and we had a really good talk.
You know, downtown Lisbon at this time of the year the streets are full of restaurants to take in tourists, but It's just a big show off for the tourists to look more sophisticated, so we decided to avoid it and explained her why. Because those restaurants are like "hey, we have very good traditional and sophisticated food" and when you eat it, it's just mediocre, so the fact that it's for tourists makes you drop serious cash there, so we decided to go somewhere cheap that served good food. Some place really typical.
She loved it and so did we.
At first I was a little afraid of what she would think of our food, because most other countries are not used to eat fish the way that we do. Usually outside Portugal, Spain and other Mediterranean countries, people are used to eat boiled fish, and it's basically tasteless.
Let's say we had grilled sardines. May sound gross for many of you, but I guarantee you it's very good in the summer and a very appreciated dish in the sea cities.
Here's what it looks like:
[IMG]http://www.x-centrico.com/e107_images/noticias/sardinhada.JPG[/IMG]
We then headed to the pub's area to have some drinks and play cards while talking and we had a really great night.
As we were leaving she told me we should meet again this week and probably she's going to visit my city tomorrow.
I don't want to sound like I'm all over her and I'm romantically interested in her.I just liked her a lot, she made a really good impression and was very nice to be with. You know that kind of person you just want to spend time with. I'm really looking forward to being with her again while she's still here. Too bad she's leaving, My life needs more people like her.
TL;DR: I met a really cool girl!
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36193839]H:
First I'm completely over my ex and I feel awesome being single. I'm not desperately looking for girls but I don't discard the possibility of having a girlfriend if it comes to it. So basically I'm keeping an open mind about girls and I have been very talkative and in a good mood towards other people, specially women. I'm feeling good and I'm feeling attractive towards others again, and it just feels awesome.[/QUOTE]
This is the best attitude to have, kudos to you man.
[QUOTE=Glitch360;36190437]So I've been really social the past month or so. Went to every hangout, event, etc. that was offered to me. Now I've gotta focus on my speech skills, less mumbling and stuttering and more clear speech![/QUOTE]
- Talk to yourself out loud frequently. At my job, I drive a really really noisy tractor for an hour at a time three-four times throughout the shift - a perfect opportunity! If you have anything like that, use that time for practising speech. Be sure not to do it when people can hear though or you'll sound slightly schizoid.
- Singing helps your range. Again, when nobody's around, try and hit the notes perfectly. It really does fix the dry low monotone that many introverts have.
- Focus on talking loudly and clearly, not just saying things. Pretend you're making a presentation.
- Record yourself talking with a phone or a computer mic if you want to gauge your voice.
[QUOTE=ArthurHawk;36191997]It's been a week, and it's been enough bullshitting around.[/QUOTE]
It seriously doesn't seem like she's interested. If you two go out at any point in time, be sure to make it clear that you have romantic intentions and not just as friends.
Copied from SGS.
[QUOTE] I hate feeling like this. I try to tell myself that getting attached is bad but it never works. It totally ruins me and people around me.
I can get over small crushes easily but as soon as I get, well, emotionally dependant I guess, it breaks my mind. Especially when that specific person just gets closer and closer to you and then bang, that's it, the climax of the whole thing before it either breaks apart or slowly dies down. But you're still stuck there, at the climax, so close that you can almost feel it but just fall short. You want to care for that person, you want to make them happy, you just want them to be happy but they don't realise how much they've affected you and they don't have the mutual feeling to understand.
It's teasing, taunting, but most of all painful. No matter how many times I try and break through I just can't and well...it just sucks.
It's the second time it's happened and although not nearly as intense it makes up for it in time, and it definitely takes a toll on my mental health.
I'm sorry to vent like this and put a downer on the thread but it feels good to let it out.
[/QUOTE]
I've given up all hope of trying to get her, I've actually known for a while that it wouldn't be possible but now it's just a burden on my mind.
I can't even find interest in other girls, my mind just rejects them.
Basically, I need help on how to get over her and how to become interested in other girls again because she's going to be leaving soon and I can't deal with this any more, never mind when I won't even get to see her.
Any help/advice is greatly appreciated.
[QUOTE=JJ Webby;36199770]Copied from SGS.
I've given up all hope of trying to get her, I've actually known for a while that it wouldn't be possible but now it's just a burden on my mind.
I can't even find interest in other girls, my mind just rejects them.
Basically, I need help on how to get over her and how to become interested in other girls again because she's going to be leaving soon and I can't deal with this any more, never mind when I won't even get to see her.
Any help/advice is greatly appreciated.[/QUOTE]
To quote an old phrase:
"The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else"
Not entirely true, sleeping around isnt necessarily the way forward, but looking for someone new is.
I tend to find just spending some time with something female you're vaguely interested in helps, even if you just talk to her for a bit or something. You don't need to make a move, just move your mind off her. Boobs are amazing at clearing everything else from your mind.
I need some advice, sooner or later I will be going out with my girlfriend and she really enjoys dancing. Besides she is a good dancer and knows quite well how to dance. So I wanted to please her and dance with her because it is really fun. Unfortunately my dancing skills are pretty abysmal, I can dance like Lento and to slower music.
When we go out though we will dance to more hispanic and fast paced beat music, she taught me some stuff but I wanted to know if you guys had any tips on how to dance a bit more fluid and smoothly.
Alcohol.
[sp] Not really. Also I don't know how to dance :I [/sp]
Relax and copy everyone else.
Alcohol helps but not loads.
Alcohol is really bad in that scenario, I know that I can score really high with her when I am able to dance with her. It is also really fun, she taught me Wiener Walzer, Cha Cha Cha and some other moves.
She has a total flow and rythm in her moves which makes me look like a stiff silly back of stones.
[editline]5th June 2012[/editline]
I already asked her, she taught me some stuff. Although I want to dance with her without constantly asking how to do it. I want to surprise her. Guess I have to improvise.
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