The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Evilan;36219191]I cannot tell if this girl is flirting with me or not. If she is, then she is really bad at it. We share a mutual group of friends and she consistently, without failing, teases the living shit out of me. Like, I could be having a conversation with a couple of my friends away from her and she will say something outrageous about me to shift my attention towards her. She also singles me out for these insults, like my friends might get a couple of insults thrown at them in a single outting, but I get into the triple digits some nights.
When I talk to her one on one though, her whole personality changes. There is little to no teases and she is physically very cold towards me (like resists hugs). She also gets a lot more calm and does not get excited to the point that she seems like she would piss her panties. I don't understand her, maybe I just just accuse her of flirting and she if she fesses up or totally shuts me down. Help me FP, you're not my only hope, but I'm lost.[/QUOTE]
Are you attracted? If so, go for it. If not, make her your best friend, as it seems she wants a whole lot of your attention.
My friend seems to be trying to make me angry at her because I generally avoid arguing with her because i can't be fucked with the fallout, and when i am angry i can be a massive jerk. Im not entirely sure why she wants me to argue and yell. Any ideas?
Sorry about any poor spelling or grammar. I am on my phone and there is only one thing worse than auto correct: no auto correct.
Note: this all took place via text.
[QUOTE=Rubs10;36203166]Here's what I've learned about dancing:
The most important rule is to have a good time, that's what you're there to do right? Make jokes and just seem like a fun person who doesn't take the whole thing too seriously.
Dancing is more about the neck, torso, and abdomen, rather than the arms and legs.
Emphasize parts of your body, like the chest if that's what you want people to notice.
Observe other people and learn the basics from videos.
Practice in front of a mirror.
Change it up frequently, don't do anything longer than 30 seconds.
Use every joint in your body, loosen up.[/QUOTE]
kind of weird for me to dance, i only dance when i'm drunk otherwise i don't feel like it, not because of insecurity issues or anything.. people love to dance, i.. i don't. unless i'm celebrating something. weird huh.
[QUOTE=DrBreen;36226722]kind of weird for me to dance, i only dance when i'm drunk otherwise i don't feel like it, not because of insecurity issues or anything.. people love to dance, i.. i don't. unless i'm celebrating something. weird huh.[/QUOTE]
uh sounds just like insecurity to me
the only thing being drunk changes in relation to dancing is your inhibition, so you can get over your fear of dancing
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36226749]uh sounds just like insecurity to me
the only thing being drunk changes in relation to dancing is your inhibition, so you can get over your fear of dancing[/QUOTE]
That's partly true because alcohol inhibits fears but also inhibits cognitive abilities, meaning you don't really know what the fuck you're doing after a bottle of jack.
Plus, not fear of dancing, when there's people dancing in a party i'll be happy because everyone's having fun, and that's pretty much enough for me, it's not like i'm thinking 'Gee i want to dance but i'm so shy to flap my arms around!!', more like 'Hmm should i dance?.. Nah fuck that. MORE SHOTS PLEASE'
sounds like a defense mechanism
[QUOTE=NeonpieDFTBA;36226348]My friend seems to be trying to make me angry at her because I generally avoid arguing with her because i can't be fucked with the fallout, and when i am angry i can be a massive jerk. Im not entirely sure why she wants me to argue and yell. Any ideas?
Sorry about any poor spelling or grammar. I am on my phone and there is only one thing worse than auto correct: no auto correct.
Note: this all took place via text.[/QUOTE]
Guess she wants some sort of reaction out of you. Beyond that it could be that SHE has problems, and it's not that she's doing it to piss you off, but it's simply that you're viewing it from a self-centered perspective. No offense.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36227717]sounds like a defense mechanism[/QUOTE]
um no?
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36227717]sounds like a defense mechanism[/QUOTE]
Personally I don't like dancing either - whether I'm drunk or not (though that's fairly uncommon). And I'm a pretty social person.
[QUOTE=DrBreen;36232296]um no?[/QUOTE]
Only you would know. I say... "I don't feel like it" is a vague response and not an actual reason. You're the one who's making it weird.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;36230027]Guess she wants some sort of reaction out of you. Beyond that it could be that SHE has problems, and it's not that she's doing it to piss you off, but it's simply that you're viewing it from a self-centered perspective. No offense.[/QUOTE]
I know her well, and I know what her problems are, it is just this seems like a weird thing for her to want. Also, how is not getting angry self centred. Unless you meant me not thinking about why (which I have done) is self centred. I would have thought it was entirely my decision as to whether I want to be angry...
[QUOTE=NeonpieDFTBA;36232847]I know her well, and I know what her problems are, it is just this seems like a weird thing for her to want. Also, how is not getting angry self centred. Unless you meant me not thinking about why (which I have done) is self centred. I would have thought it was entirely my decision as to whether I want to be angry...[/QUOTE]
2 questions;
1. How do you know she's intentionally making you angry, besides your own assumptions?
2. Have you considered the fact you might be the cause of her "intentional" teasing? You said you are a jerk when you get angry... Well, maybe you're angry all the time.
[QUOTE=Seith;36232903]2 questions;
1. How do you know she's intentionally making you angry, besides your own assumptions?
2. Have you considered the fact you might be the cause of her "intentional" teasing? You said you are a jerk when you get angry... Well, maybe you're angry all the time.[/QUOTE]
She directly said she wanted me to get angry and argue with her.
And I am really not angry all the time. When I flip out though I end up saying things that I regret later, because generally they are the truth (or a twisted truth).
Any reason why she would do this in your opinion, besides the very "obvious" and superficial answer she gave you?
[QUOTE=Seith;36233066]Any reason why she would do this in your opinion, besides the very "obvious" and superficial answer she gave you?[/QUOTE]
I have ideas but a lot of them are dumb. One is that she might want me to make her feel bad about herself, or perhaps confirm her negative beliefs about herself. She also said a while ago that she wanted me to be the one who did something wrong for once.
She hasn't responded to my message in steam chat, although she doesn't always notice those any way.
Well, ask her. Assumptions lead to nowhere.
So for those that didn't read it I met a foreign girl some months ago and these last weeks she's been working here in a city next to mine. So we went out together with some friends and long story short, I find her really awesome!
So basically we've been together again except this time it was just the 2 of us and we had all day for ourselves. We had a really great day. I just wish she wasn't leaving, you know, I'll miss her a bit.
Anyway, I was thinking that it wouldn't be too much of a day but we actually enjoyed it. And the best part is, she's decided to come back here in august and this time while in vacation so she could have more free time to visit the country and meeting again.
I'm really excited!
[QUOTE=NeonpieDFTBA;36233200]I have ideas but a lot of them are dumb. One is that she might want me to make her feel bad about herself, or perhaps confirm her negative beliefs about herself. She also said a while ago that she wanted me to be the one who did something wrong for once.
She hasn't responded to my message in steam chat, although she doesn't always notice those any way.[/QUOTE]
Maybe she thinks since she can't get a reaction out of you that you don't "care" enough about whatever the subject is when she does. Some girls want guys to get mad or jealous or just to have a reaction to something because it shows how you feel about whatever. Most of the time its unnecessary though, and this is all from personal experience.
Is it bad that I just give people various methods to contact me?
Like, I was just walking to class today and this guy comes up, "Hey you don't have any shoes."
We chatted while we walked a little. Then he reached his destination and was like, "Hey, I keep a list of contacts for my job, you mind if I get yours?"
To which I was like, "Sure" and gave him my phone number.
And as I am walking away I'm just thinking, what the hell did I just do?
And this happened like an hour ago.
e.
And I am asking this question while I have fuckton of social media 'neath my avatar.
... why would it be bad?
I don't know. That's why I ask. It just ocurred to me that I'll let random people know how to get a hold of me. But I guess I just ignore them if I don't want to talk to them.
single again after a little more than two months, lmao. feels bad man.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;36237756]single again after a little more than two months, lmao. feels bad man.[/QUOTE]
I don't understand what's so bad about that?
[QUOTE=Autumn;36236903]... why would it be bad?[/QUOTE]
In my case and from my point of view it's bad.
You see, there's usually a big communist fair in my town every year and people just go there for the most varied reasons. (Not only to celebrate communism).
So basically it's very nice to go there, it's a fair open to everyone, you can camp, get shitfaced, and you have like food stores from all countries under the influence of communism. Also you can buy very cheap books and CD's there (one of the main reasons I go, The other reason is to get shitfaced).
So yeah, I don't go there for politics but it's quite usual to be "intercepted" by some recruiters from the communist party that want to talk to you.
So I was talking to these 2 girls from the party about politics and what I thought about politics in general and at the end, I don't know why, I just gave them too much information. And on top of that, I gave them my cell phone number.
Big mistake.
Some weeks later this guy that I didn't know from anywhere starts calling me, saying that he was very impressed about what I said and wanted to meet me at a communist reunion in my university. As much as I tried to avoid him, the guy just stalked me for like 2 weeks before realizing I wasn't interested in joining anything. I even got to remember his number so I wouldn't answer it and I had to constantly avoid him at my uni cause he would just talk for hours with me without shutting the hell up.
I have nothing against political views, but fuck me, that was dull.
Now I only give my phone number to co-workers and people I'm interested in, although most of the time, I'm the one asking for the contact.
It's not bad to give your phone number now and then, but you should avoid doing it very often.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36238323]
You see, there's usually a big communist fair in my town every year and people just go there for the most varied reasons. (Not only to celebrate communism).[/QUOTE]
excuse me, what?
i think your example is an extremely isolated case...
sure, don't give your phone number to every single person you're ever going to meet, but if you've held a decent conversation and people are interested (and seem interesting) enough to ask for your phone number, then i think you should give it to them.
if they turn out to be a bit weird/wanting to sell you something then you block the number, but otherwise i think it's always a good networking opportunity, you hardly have anything to lose
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;36237756]single again after a little more than two months, lmao. feels bad man.[/QUOTE]
what happened? last thing here was you asking whether to talk out your feelings in person or over text.
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;36238426]what happened? last thing here was you asking whether to talk out your feelings in person or over text.[/QUOTE]
well literally the day I was going to talk to her she texts me totally freaking out saying she can't do this it's putting too much strain on her. apparently her mother didn't approve and that combined with a lot of rumors going around about us and the fact that she was diagnosed with an eating disorder was just too much for her. of course my first thought was, "bullshit," so I asked her if it was her ex coming home from college and she says it's not because she already told me she can't be with anyone anymore. i still want her in my life though so I'll settle for friends, on the bright side I'm already thinking about other women so
[editline]7th June 2012[/editline]
and this wasn't all over text we talked in person today about things, just closure really. I dunno I think I miss the idea of having someone more than her specifically.
[QUOTE=thisispain;36238377]excuse me, what?[/QUOTE]
It's an expo about communism. Yeah...
sounds, interesting?
do you live in a country where communism has a bit of popular support? nothing to do with social advice or anything, just curious.
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