The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=thisispain;36239180]sounds, interesting?
do you live in a country where communism has a bit of popular support? nothing to do with social advice or anything, just curious.[/QUOTE]
from what I remember he lives in portugal, which is right next door to spain, which was communist for a while.
I'll make sure to never give my phone number to communists then.
So I've been dipping into a little bit of a depressive state because of the state of my summer (which has been taken up almost entirely by an extremely needy father), and I think this could probably sum up my outlook on life at the moment:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5zrYie3d0Q[/media]
I'm thinking the fact that Tom Waits songs can sum up how I feel about life at the moment is probably a bad thing, ya?
I am best friends with this chick who I met back roughly 3 years ago while attending Scouts (In Australia it's mixed not separated because of gender, even though we do have girl scouts) anyway long story short her friends keep telling me to date her but I've said no to everyone of them because she is my best friend and yes we both agreed on to not date each other because ruining our current relationship to me would be awful but I'm honestly confused how this came about, I don't know if she's starting this or if it is because we post on each others walls alot on facebook but it's driving me insane I don't want to date her and nobody is listening..
Any ideas?
Either talk to her about it or just ignore them? Not a drastically awful problem if she doesn't want to go out with you either
We've talked and we both hate it but I'll just have to let this shit pass, I'm not interested in her in that way anyway so
I don't see what the big deal is then, why do you give a shit about what they say
I don't normally take shit like this close to heart it is just the general fact I've told the same group to shut up and that it won't happen everyday but yet they persist in doing it.
[editline]8th June 2012[/editline]
eh I'll let this slide, still fucking annoying
don't give them any sort of reaction, that's probably what's making them take it further. just flat out ignore it or sort of play along until it's no longer fun for them
[QUOTE=fruxodaily;36244847]I am best friends with this chick who I met back roughly 3 years ago while attending Scouts (In Australia it's mixed not separated because of gender, even though we do have girl scouts) anyway long story short her friends keep telling me to date her but I've said no to everyone of them because she is my best friend and yes we both agreed on to not date each other because ruining our current relationship to me would be awful but I'm honestly confused how this came about, I don't know if she's starting this or if it is because we post on each others walls alot on facebook but it's driving me insane I don't want to date her and nobody is listening..
Any ideas?[/QUOTE]
either her friends are just immature and annoying shitheads that you should ignore, or she has been telling them that she likes you.
if you're really that good friends, then you should talk with her about it.
[QUOTE=Autumn;36245465]don't give them any sort of reaction, that's probably what's making them take it further. just flat out ignore it or sort of play along until it's no longer fun for them[/QUOTE]
This.
My friends used to give me shit about having a friend that was a girl, so I just started using my same-tone sarcasm and bored them of it.
[QUOTE=thisispain;36238377]excuse me, what?[/QUOTE]
Ah yes, even though there's a small percentage of communists, people like to go to their communist parade/party/whatever to get drunk and fuck communist pussy
we are hardcore like that
My buddy Adam finally got with that cute cashier girl he's been crushing on. I'm very happy for him! Given their personalities, I foresee a happy relationship lasting for some time!
My buddy John also got [I]his[/I] lady-love, the Love Triangle Girl. However, given [I]her[/I] personality, I foresee big John needing a night of consolation and heavy drinking in the near future.
[editline]8th June 2012[/editline]
I was out shopping yesterday, and as I approached the checkout lane, staffed by a girl who I had a crush on in highschool (but who has since gotten plump and uncomely), I dropped my beans. The lid broke off and my beans splattered all over the floor, and I cried, "My beans! [I]No![/I]"
I didn't want to make a further scene, so when she asked me if I wanted her to go get me more beans I just said, "no, it's okay. I didn't really want beans anyway."
The twist ending? I really [I]did[/I] want those beans, and I was heartbroken when I dropped them. My cry was one of anguish. However, I'd already told her that I didn't actually want the beans, so I couldn't rightly go back and get more.
Question: is it okay to let a woman see you cry?
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;36251068]My buddy Adam finally got with that cute cashier girl he's been crushing on. I'm very happy for him! Given their personalities, I foresee a happy relationship lasting for some time!
My buddy John also got [I]his[/I] lady-love, the Love Triangle Girl. However, given [I]her[/I] personality, I foresee big John needing a night of consolation and heavy drinking in the near future.
[editline]8th June 2012[/editline]
I was out shopping yesterday, and as I approached the checkout lane, staffed by a girl who I had a crush on in highschool (but who has since gotten plump and uncomely), I dropped my beans. The lid broke off and my beans splattered all over the floor, and I cried, "My beans! [I]No![/I]"
I didn't want to make a further scene, so when she asked me if I wanted her to go get me more beans I just said, "no, it's okay. I didn't really want beans anyway."
The twist ending? I really [I]did[/I] want those beans, and I was heartbroken when I dropped them. My cry was one of anguish. However, I'd already told her that I didn't actually want the beans, so I couldn't rightly go back and get more.
Question: is it okay to let a woman see you cry?[/QUOTE]
Really sorry to hear about your loss, man. I know how it must feel but there's plenty of beans left on the shelves I'm sure!
Also is that question in relation to beans or something else entirely
[QUOTE=DrBreen;36250721]Ah yes, even though there's a small percentage of communists, people like to go to their communist parade/party/whatever to get drunk and fuck communist pussy
we are hardcore like that[/QUOTE]
It's called "Festa do Avante".
It's a very cool place to meet nice people, apart from 70% of junkies, crackheads, alcoholic comatose kids, communist fundamentalists and other weird shit induced by drugs, halucinigenics and alcohol (and weirds as fuck backgrounds), you can find a wide variety of pretty normal people there too with a very open mind.
PS - I don't advise to get pussy in Avante.
STD's, mate...
Thank god I found this thread.. so the story is~
I've been friend with this close friends with this girl for almost a year now and we basically have the same friends, a couple days ago she asked me out and I'm not ready for a relationship especially if I have a lot of my own problems, what if all my friends decide to not to talk to me? What should I do? :(
[QUOTE=Color;36253612]Thank god I found this thread.. so the story is~
I've been friend with this close friends with this girl for almost a year now and we basically have the same friends, a couple days ago she asked me out and I'm not ready for a relationship especially if I have a lot of my own problems, what if all my friends decide to not to talk to me? What should I do? :([/QUOTE]
They aren't your friends if they don't talk to you because you're dating. About having your own problems, either confront them head on and resolve them or learn to deal with them.
Also you should try dating her at least once. If it doesn't work out you should already be close enough to tell her that and still be friends.
[QUOTE=Color;36253612]Thank god I found this thread.. so the story is~
I've been friend with this close friends with this girl for almost a year now and we basically have the same friends, a couple days ago she asked me out and I'm not ready for a relationship especially if I have a lot of my own problems, what if all my friends decide to not to talk to me? What should I do? :([/QUOTE]
The biggest thing you need to do is to accept yourself as you are now, and to work to improve yourself everyday you can. From your one lined spheal, I can tell you have a problem with insecurity. Everyone has their problems, even the girl who asked you out probably has something she would hesitate to tell you. Enjoy the date, nothing really serious happens on the first couple anyways, and move on with the knowledge that your friends won't hate you (don't know where this came from) if you go out with her. If they do, fuck them, they were never your friends to begin with.
On another note, the fact this girl asked you out despite your supposed "problems" means they are either A. Not obvious, B. Attractive Qualities, or C. She doesn't care. No need to have an inferiority complex going into this.
Do you need to get to know the girl more to get her number? I'm not sure.
Thank for the advice guys, I really appreciate it.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;36238715]well literally the day I was going to talk to her she texts me totally freaking out saying she can't do this it's putting too much strain on her. apparently her mother didn't approve and that combined with a lot of rumors going around about us and the fact that she was diagnosed with an eating disorder was just too much for her. of course my first thought was, "bullshit," so I asked her if it was her ex coming home from college and she says it's not because she already told me she can't be with anyone anymore. i still want her in my life though so I'll settle for friends, on the bright side I'm already thinking about other women so
[editline]7th June 2012[/editline]
and this wasn't all over text we talked in person today about things, just closure really. I dunno I think I miss the idea of having someone more than her specifically.[/QUOTE]
realized today it was almost wholly a physical relationship. not entirely upset about that.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;36251068]My buddy Adam finally got with that cute cashier girl he's been crushing on. I'm very happy for him! Given their personalities, I foresee a happy relationship lasting for some time!
My buddy John also got [I]his[/I] lady-love, the Love Triangle Girl. However, given [I]her[/I] personality, I foresee big John needing a night of consolation and heavy drinking in the near future.
[editline]8th June 2012[/editline]
I was out shopping yesterday, and as I approached the checkout lane, staffed by a girl who I had a crush on in highschool (but who has since gotten plump and uncomely), I dropped my beans. The lid broke off and my beans splattered all over the floor, and I cried, "My beans! [I]No![/I]"
I didn't want to make a further scene, so when she asked me if I wanted her to go get me more beans I just said, "no, it's okay. I didn't really want beans anyway."
The twist ending? I really [I]did[/I] want those beans, and I was heartbroken when I dropped them. My cry was one of anguish. However, I'd already told her that I didn't actually want the beans, so I couldn't rightly go back and get more.
Question: is it okay to let a woman see you cry?[/QUOTE]
When I first read "dropped the beans" I thought you were making a metaphor for soppily professing that you had a crush on the cashier.
Hey, just wondering if you guys could share some thoughts on my experience at my high school prom tonight:
I met a girl at my friends party one day: we had a small chat, grabbed me by the hand, took me into a room where we could be alone and we talked for a few hours. We had a great connection but I doubt you need to know the details as to how. By the end of the night I let her go and saw her at school every now and again.
We talked on and off for a few months until a few weeks before prom, I asked her to prom and she said "Oh, sure!" Then, I kept talking to her for a few days until the week before prom, the past Saturday (the 2nd), where I arranged for us to have a date. Though, as a trend we'll soon see, I started all of our conversations together.
Within that entire period we texted each other whenever we didn't see one another and she gave me some positive feedback and I thought that it was all well.
I went with her to grab some ice cream, we talked and had lots of fun. I made jokes and she laughed, she gave me a stimulating conversation (you thought you were about to read something else, didn't you?), and we parted our way from there until almost a week later at my high school prom.
I met with her at her house, took her to the pre-party, we went together to the prom, but all didn't seem right. After we got to the prom, I figured it was as good as time as any to go further with the feelings [I]she already knew[/I] I had for her and dance with her, talk to her some more, and all the other stuff, but she seemed different. She was less talkative, didn't start a single line of conversation with me herself, definitely didn't laugh as often, and made every effort she could to avoid me. As soon as our group finished eating our dinner, I danced with her for a solid five minutes until she left and was practically never seen for the entire night until it was over. She gave me a crappy excuse but I know it was a lie, whatever. We head to a friends house and I talk to her for a few minutes before she walks in and I get picked up. I ask her if anything as the matter, if she had fun, why she was gone for so long, etc. and she tells me that she had fun, everything was fine, and use the same lie she had last time as to why she was gone. We parted ways again but this time it felt cold and unlikeable.
Now, just a while after the end of the night, she sends me a text saying she had a great time and lots of fun. Now, I'm just confused and frustrated.
Personally, I thought when we went on the date that all was going well, I don't see any reason why it wouldn't have been. Then, all of a sudden, it was completely different tonight. I was seriously considering continuing my relationship with her but now I have no clue [I]whatsoever[/I]. If anyone could give their impression of the situation, helpful advice, or anything really, it would be appreciated. If you need any more details feel free to ask. Thanks.
It could have been anything, maybe she ate something bad or was on her period or had a fight with her brother earlier or self-conscious. Who knows?
I'm getting a hint of her mistaking you as just being friendly. I suggest you ask her out.
[QUOTE=HellSoldier;36255744]...I figured it was as good as time as any to go further with the feelings [I]she already knew[/I] I had for her...[/QUOTE]
Trust me, this can be extremely misleading. I thought a female friend had feelings for me after 2-3 months of hanging out with her - she gave out all the ~signs~ - and as it turns out I got rejected after 3 more months of pursuing her in a state of infatuation.
She might just be being friendly, who knows? Take what I say with a grain of salt of course.
You'll never know for sure until you're on an actual date (ie., one she thinks as being with romantic intentions and not just hanging out). Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever make judgements of whether or not she likes you based on signs - they don't work.
Good luck.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36255863]It could have been anything, maybe she ate something bad or was on her period or had a fight with her brother earlier or self-conscious. Who knows?
I'm getting a hint of her mistaking you as just being friendly. I suggest you ask her out.
Trust me, this can be extremely misleading. I thought a female friend had feelings for me after 2-3 months of hanging out with her - she gave out all the ~signs~ - and as it turns out I got rejected after 3 more months of pursuing her in a state of infatuation.
She might just be being friendly, who knows? Take what I say with a grain of salt of course.
You'll never know for sure until you're on an actual date (ie., one she thinks as being with romantic intentions and not just hanging out). Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever make judgements of whether or not she likes you based on signs - they don't work.
Good luck.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, though I should point out by the end of our chat at Baskin Robbins she did leave saying "Thank you for the date..." so I'm not too sure it could be the friendly issue. Regardless, your info was useful overall.
So I believe I posted about this before, but I'll elaborate. I began to like this girl way too much, blah blah never made a move really but didn't get to because one of my closest friends kind of swung in and took her for himself. Now that's not to say I had a chance, cause I figure she didn't like me anyways but for some reason I can't seem to get over the fact that one of my closest friends did this while fully being aware of how I felt about her. I feel angry and sad and even though I put up a facade in front of the two that nothing's wrong, I can't seem to get over these feelings.
Basically what should I do to get over this anger and jealously or whatever I'm feeling? I've been harboring it for far too long now, I feel like it's already ruined a friendship.. but nothing can be done about that at this point so I don't know.
[QUOTE=lum1naire;36256624]So I believe I posted about this before, but I'll elaborate. I began to like this girl way too much, blah blah never made a move really but didn't get to because one of my closest friends kind of swung in and took her for himself. Now that's not to say I had a chance, cause I figure she didn't like me anyways but for some reason I can't seem to get over the fact that one of my closest friends did this while fully being aware of how I felt about her. I feel angry and sad and even though I put up a facade in front of the two that nothing's wrong, I can't seem to get over these feelings.
Basically what should I do to get over this anger and jealously or whatever I'm feeling? I've been harboring it for far too long now, I feel like it's already ruined a friendship.. but nothing can be done about that at this point so I don't know.[/QUOTE]
You know the answer. [i]nothing can be done about that so I don't know....[/i] exactly. You don't know, nor should you care so stop constantly thinking about it.
It's not an easy thing to do, no, but sure is possible once you start taking responsibility for your own thoughts; there are no feelings, they're just derivatives of your own thoughts.
Basically what you should do is realize this and move forward. Meet new women, bla bla
[QUOTE=HellSoldier;36255744]Hey, just wondering if you guys could share some thoughts on my experience at my high school prom tonight:
I met a girl at my friends party one day: we had a small chat, grabbed me by the hand, took me into a room where we could be alone and we talked for a few hours. We had a great connection but I doubt you need to know the details as to how. By the end of the night I let her go and saw her at school every now and again.
We talked on and off for a few months until a few weeks before prom, I asked her to prom and she said "Oh, sure!" Then, I kept talking to her for a few days until the week before prom, the past Saturday (the 2nd), where I arranged for us to have a date. Though, as a trend we'll soon see, I started all of our conversations together.
Within that entire period we texted each other whenever we didn't see one another and she gave me some positive feedback and I thought that it was all well.
I went with her to grab some ice cream, we talked and had lots of fun. I made jokes and she laughed, she gave me a stimulating conversation (you thought you were about to read something else, didn't you?), and we parted our way from there until almost a week later at my high school prom.
I met with her at her house, took her to the pre-party, we went together to the prom, but all didn't seem right. After we got to the prom, I figured it was as good as time as any to go further with the feelings [I]she already knew[/I] I had for her and dance with her, talk to her some more, and all the other stuff, but she seemed different. She was less talkative, didn't start a single line of conversation with me herself, definitely didn't laugh as often, and made every effort she could to avoid me. As soon as our group finished eating our dinner, I danced with her for a solid five minutes until she left and was practically never seen for the entire night until it was over. She gave me a crappy excuse but I know it was a lie, whatever. We head to a friends house and I talk to her for a few minutes before she walks in and I get picked up. I ask her if anything as the matter, if she had fun, why she was gone for so long, etc. and she tells me that she had fun, everything was fine, and use the same lie she had last time as to why she was gone. We parted ways again but this time it felt cold and unlikeable.
Now, just a while after the end of the night, she sends me a text saying she had a great time and lots of fun. Now, I'm just confused and frustrated.
Personally, I thought when we went on the date that all was going well, I don't see any reason why it wouldn't have been. Then, all of a sudden, it was completely different tonight. I was seriously considering continuing my relationship with her but now I have no clue [I]whatsoever[/I]. If anyone could give their impression of the situation, helpful advice, or anything really, it would be appreciated. If you need any more details feel free to ask. Thanks.[/QUOTE]
Seems genuinely difficult to tell what happened there, if the change was so sudden. It might be nothing to do with you, could be some problem of hers that sprang up and preoccupied her. If it was me, I would ask again if something is wrong, and say that whatever crappy excuse she gave didn't really ring true. Tell her you're a little worried. If that leads nowhere and you still don't know what happened, tell her the truth about how you feel; that you want to see more of her but you're confused by how she was at your prom or whatever it was. By her answer, you'll know if she likes you and the problem was to do with something else (or a more melancholy alternative, but it really is best to be honest with her and find out now rather than letting the issue fester)
Yeah just be straight out about it, you'll get to know exactly where you stand and you can take it further from there or if not, be upset and such but atleast you'll know the truth. And she'll also know where she stands with you.
Ok I have like 10 good as mates I hang out with now but they always seem to get a bit annoyed when I don't want to hang out with them cause I like having a weekend every month to do what I want to do...
What should I do????
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