The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Seith;36428386]If she decided to be insulted by that, then she's not looking for advice[/QUOTE]
You can't just blanket how people should give advice. There are literally so many different techniques for different problems.
Do you really expect being insensitive is going to help people? 50% of looking for advice is looking for support, especially when it comes to personal matters. There's also a difference between being blunt about advice, and just being insensitive.
Also, just because there's no one right way doesn't mean there aren't wrong ways. According to both OPs, the way you reacted was inappropriate.
So like, I've been talking to this girl just about every day through texts. I started talking to her Tuesday. I haven't texted her today, should I? Or am I being too strong? I don't know if she'll text me if I don't.
so you've been talking to her for 3 whole days now..?
if she misses the conversation enough she'll text you back, so you should wait
I geniunely don't understand how Seith is [i]still[/i] in this thread. He's like the housemate that shits in the sink and always has his crackhobo friends round.
Guys stop getting butthurt at Seith you're all idiots for even caring about what he has to say. But when he says something decent (which is rare I admit) then you act like he doesnt exist. Stop picking arguments cause you don't like him.
[editline]21st June 2012[/editline]
I guess the internet is one of the few places where people choose to get pissed off about things, which strikes me as quite petty.
[QUOTE=Seith;36428386]If she decided to be insulted by that, then she's not looking for advice.
[editline]21st June 2012[/editline]
Who said he was looking for advice? As I've said, stop assuming venting = nessecarily means comforting. No one knows what's best for him.[/QUOTE]
what you are doing, seith, is not giving advice. your response to my issue amounted to little more than "QQ more, you don't have friends because you aren't trying hard enough". it's a little insulting in itself that you think i haven't figured that out already.
the entire point of every post i've seen you've make in this thread was to insult someone, and you always just tack on completely worthless "insight" so you can accuse the target of not being willing to listen if they take offense.
[QUOTE=CodeMonkey3;36429792]So like, I've been talking to this girl just about every day through texts. I started talking to her Tuesday. I haven't texted her today, should I? Or am I being too strong? I don't know if she'll text me if I don't.[/QUOTE]
What's the worst that can happen? Just text her first. Maybe she is thinking the exact same thing and doesn't want to text you first.
I think I may just give it a day. If she texts me that'd be awesome but I know she's working today anyway so I probably wouldn't get much of a reply. I have to text her tomorrow anyway, she gets her schedule at work so we can set a day to go to the movies, also going to wish her happy graduation or something.
in regards to the recent conversations, to quote myself from a while back in this very thread:
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;35883454]seith doesn't understand how human emotions relate to the physical world. he only understands that humans have emotions, and that there is a physical world.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=CheeserCrice;36429954]Guys stop getting butthurt at Seith you're all idiots for even caring about what he has to say. But when he says something decent (which is rare I admit) then you act like he doesnt exist. Stop picking arguments cause you don't like him.
[editline]21st June 2012[/editline]
I guess the internet is one of the few places where people choose to get pissed off about things, which strikes me as quite petty.[/QUOTE]
I'm not butthurt, I'm just genuinely impressed by his thick skin. It's pretty cool!
Ok, enough about Seith already. Jeez... You make it sound like he just blew something up.
You're reducing yourselves by just trying to prove you're right.
We already heard the arguments, no need of an endless loop of them.
seith is a butt
hey look it's a page full of drama surrounding seith again
it's just frustrating when someone so inept thinks so highly of themself
Is it normal to have an urge to giggle when people are arguing around you? Like proper, heated arguments
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;36431105]in regards to the recent conversations, to quote myself from a while back in this very thread:[/QUOTE]
People, beep boop.
started therapy today. with any luck I'll be fairly normal soon. :tinfoil:
Who want's to be "normal"?
What you want to be is recovered from emotional scars.
Normal is relative.
And boring.
[QUOTE=joshjet;36433031]Normal is relative.
And boring.[/QUOTE]Everyone is "normal". Since everyone is different, wouldn't that mean that being different is the norm?
So Facepunch. I have a small issue that I could use a bit of help with:
I have a decent sized group of friends, but it really revolves around 4 people (Including myself). Anyway over the past few months, we have been hanging out, doing normal summer shit. But half the time they want to hang out, I'm either doing something else or I just don't have the energy to go out. I'ts eventually reached that point where they have stopped texting/calling me to hang out. I almost feel like they think I'm just putting them off, or something. I've apologized when I wasn't able to hang out and the times I wasn't around, but i still feel like we are drifting apart.
Any ideas on how to fix this?
[QUOTE=Zinayzen;36432694]started therapy today. with any luck I'll be fairly normal soon. :tinfoil:[/QUOTE]
And now, to fulfill your need of fake interest from others:
Therapy for what? What happened?
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36433195]And now, to fulfill your need of fake interest from others:
Therapy for what? What happened?[/QUOTE]
Social anxiety, I'm not particularly good at recognizing social cues (which ties in, I assume), a fear of commitment (to anything, not just relationships. Super noticeable in my schoolwork), and I've been depressed for a decade. I just turned 20 on the 3rd.
Other than that though I'm super good
[QUOTE=VOSK;36433187]So Facepunch. I have a small issue that I could use a bit of help with:
I have a decent sized group of friends, but it really revolves around 4 people (Including myself). Anyway over the past few months, we have been hanging out, doing normal summer shit. But half the time they want to hang out, I'm either doing something else or I just don't have the energy to go out. I'ts eventually reached that point where they have stopped texting/calling me to hang out. I almost feel like they think I'm just putting them off, or something. I've apologized when I wasn't able to hang out and the times I wasn't around, but i still feel like we are drifting apart.
Any ideas on how to fix this?[/QUOTE]
Take initiative and give them a text for a change
[QUOTE=VOSK;36433187]So Facepunch. I have a small issue that I could use a bit of help with:
I have a decent sized group of friends, but it really revolves around 4 people (Including myself). Anyway over the past few months, we have been hanging out, doing normal summer shit. But half the time they want to hang out, I'm either doing something else or I just don't have the energy to go out. I'ts eventually reached that point where they have stopped texting/calling me to hang out. I almost feel like they think I'm just putting them off, or something. I've apologized when I wasn't able to hang out and the times I wasn't around, but i still feel like we are drifting apart.
Any ideas on how to fix this?[/QUOTE]
Tell them what you told us, I'm assuming most of them are the same gender as you so it won't seem like you're desperate or anything. Literally just be like "hey guys I know I've been busy but I really want to hang out so hit me up next time you're all doing something"
[QUOTE=VOSK;36433187]So Facepunch. I have a small issue that I could use a bit of help with:
I have a decent sized group of friends, but it really revolves around 4 people (Including myself). Anyway over the past few months, we have been hanging out, doing normal summer shit. But half the time they want to hang out, I'm either doing something else or I just don't have the energy to go out. I'ts eventually reached that point where they have stopped texting/calling me to hang out. I almost feel like they think I'm just putting them off, or something. I've apologized when I wasn't able to hang out and the times I wasn't around, but i still feel like we are drifting apart.
Any ideas on how to fix this?[/QUOTE]
Stop turning them down. After a while of you saying no all the time they will just assume thats always the answer and give up asking. If they're that important to you you'd make time for them onstead of making lame excuses like im tired. It just sounds like you want the warm fuzzy feeling of people wanting to do stuff with you without putting any effort in.
[QUOTE=Reimu;36428598]You can't just blanket how people should give advice. There are literally so many different techniques for different problems.
Do you really expect being insensitive is going to help people? 50% of looking for advice is looking for support, especially when it comes to personal matters. There's also a difference between being blunt about advice, and just being insensitive.
Also, just because there's no one right way doesn't mean there aren't wrong ways. According to both OPs, the way you reacted was inappropriate.[/QUOTE]
I was being over-sensitive. Comforting is not helping, but rather further allowing self-victimization; my life is shit, I don't have any friends. No shit, the world is full of shit and those who say it's pink and beautiful are pampered rich kids who never need to grow out their cradle.
"There's no right way"; assuming there isn't, then why are you telling me what I shouldn't do? I won't apologize for giving the truth and how life clocks around her.
[editline]22nd June 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36430232]what you are doing, seith, is not giving advice. your response to my issue amounted to little more than "QQ more, you don't have friends because you aren't trying hard enough". it's a little insulting in itself that you think i haven't figured that out already.
the entire point of every post i've seen you've make in this thread was to insult someone, and you always just tack on completely worthless "insight" so you can accuse the target of not being willing to listen if they take offense.[/QUOTE]
"It's insulting, it's insulting" you're the only one in the world who can decide to feel humiliated or offended by the stuff around you.
This is what I'm talking about; stop blaming others, stop living in the past "he told me that" "he did that" and start fixing what you think needs fixing.
You got shitty social life? be social. "did you try going to clubs" is like telling a kid whose got shitty grade, to study harder.
And telling someone with a shitty social life to, "be social," is like telling a kid whose got shitty grades, to get good grades. (???)
Seith just because you comfort someone doesn't mean you allow them to wallow in self-pity. People who are looking for comfort are looking for [b]acknowledgment[/b], not an ego stroke.
There you go again, acting black & white about the world. There are different ways to view the world which are uniquely and equally valid, and you can't just cram your opinion down other people's throats if it ends up making things worse. And just because there are many equally respectable answers doesn't mean there are many equally respectable wrong answers. An answer that is wrong is wrong. Someone can throw a football with two fingers on the laces, or three, but if it's not making a spiral then it's a bad throw.
It's obvious too that the posters who gave Guy Mannly comforting advice are also the posters that Guy Mannly is going to listen to. Which means they're the ones that are actually helping her.
Guy Mannly isn't a gay dude?
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