The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=JethroTheCunt;36502701]Fair point, but I don't lead anyone on, once a short term relationship is off of the cards I begin to treat her like I would a plutonic friend. once what I'm looking for is no longer an option I do not carry on with trying to woo her. I guess the advice I was looking for was how to make this clear to them. and to break it off without being a giant douche about it.
short, physical relationships are an ok thing.[/QUOTE]
"hey gurrrl i'm gonna act really really flirty with you to get in your pants"
"ooh can we be in a relationship then? :)"
"um no sorry we're just friends"
.... the problem is you
[editline]26th June 2012[/editline]
if you want random sex then go to parties where there's lots of people there you don't know and/or clubs or whatever. befriending people and making them fall for you, and then retreating, is not the right way to go about getting over your ex
I am talking about going out to clubs, any girls whose number I get seem to end up really falling for me.
that's a lot of strain to put on somebody when you barely know them, I started talking to them because I found them physically attractive and for them to turn around and be like "I really like you" is pretty unfair.
by going to clubs i didn't mean "go to clubs and get numbers" (because if they give you their number it's clearly because they want to go on a date or something and get to know you at least a little, not because they want a one-night-stand) i meant "go to clubs and take someone home/go back to theirs and have your fun" because you're clearly obsessed with sex and can't get over your ex without it
the only constant here is you. either that or you're totally kidding yourself about this and none of them have really fallen for you at all. assuming they really do like you though... what time frame is this happening in? i can't imagine them turning around after a week and being like "i love you i need to be with you". if it's going on for a long period of time then, again, this is your fault and it's you leading them on: if it's taking a while to get into someone's pants in the way you want to then that's probably because they're not rushing into things because they actually [I]care[/I] about you and, more importantly, they care about themselves. just because you don't give much of a shit about your own health and emotional well-being (because apparently you're just hunting for sex right now) doesn't mean it's [I]unfair[/I] that they do. yes how very very dare someone at a club actually wants to go on dates and get to know you before shagging you. what a terrible burden for you!
i think you really need to just chill the fuck out and maybe you'll meet someone you actually like and you'll stop being a cunt
I'm not on the prowl for sex at all, broke up with the ex like 9 months ago and I've only had intercourse a handful of times since.
I guess I've just grown accustomed to a physical relationship that grows into a romantic one. I don't think that is a flaw or a bad thing though. Just seems the last few girls I've gotten to know are looking for it the other way around - which is no ones fault I guess, just frustrating as they are nice girls, just by the time it could roll around to anything more than sex, I'm bored with trying.
in by no means am I likening sex to some kind of commodity but what is the point. by acting like that she's like; I want you to make a commitment to me and be in some kind of relationship or we're not sleeping together. and I guess I'm the other way around.
[QUOTE=JethroTheCunt;36502818]by this logic if you start talking to someone in any way other than social, and if you have any sort of relationship type ideas you should make this clear and be upfront.
hey I just met you and this is crazy but do you want to be in a long term relationship with me?[/QUOTE]
Why are you awkward and hasty? Have a conversation with them, they are not sex ragdolls you put your cock in them.
By "upfront" I meant when you get to that point, before you have sex...
[QUOTE=JethroTheCunt;36503312]I'm not on the prowl for sex at all, broke up with the ex like 9 months ago and I've only had intercourse a handful of times since.[/quote]
but you're still in love with her and you won't go anywhere near a girl who wants something more than sex? that sounds like you're on the prowl for sex....
[quote]I guess I've just grown accustomed to a physical relationship that grows into a romantic one[/quote]
how long have you know these girls that "fall" for you that they're like bffl absolutely platonic by the time they declare their undying love for you. i don't understand why you can't just ask them out sooner, engage them sexually and then maybe form a relationship
[quote]I'm bored with trying.[/quote]
i don't get it. trying what? they're throwing themselves at you and by the sounds of it you really haven't had to do anything other than text them a bit
[quote]I want you to make a commitment to me and be in some kind of relationship or we're not sleeping together[/QUOTE]
well that's kinda often how it works because a lot of people don't like to drop their pants straight away because it often results in an emotional bond and they don't want to get hurt by an asshole like you who will bugger off straight away
it's a chicken and egg thing
"what came first? the needy girls who turn me into an asshole because i can't get sex, or the asshole who can't get sex turning girls needy when he breaks their hearts?"*
*hint: it's the second one
Been spending time with a girl recently (who I met at a club), hasn't amounted to anything other than feeling like I'm in a relationship when I'm not, with none of the benefits and most of the restraints, I feel this is because it's not an official relationship, because that's not what I'm looking for, it's just got to the point now, 2 months or so, where I'm questioning my reasons of being involved.
yeah dude, you're kind of a douche and blaming the girls for being like, well, most non-slutty girls. if that's all you want, you need to go look for more obviously slutty girls and stop getting mad at girls with a little bit of class
welp still a single failure. girl I went on a few dates on killed it a few weeks ago, and now she's in a relationship with someone else.
fuck my life
you only went on a few dates. get back in the game soldier!
Now about my previous story about that girl to whom I got a place to stay in my grandfather's house.
We had a talk and we both agreed that it would be a good idea not to call the cops on the guy since they wouldn't do much and they would just piss the guy off.
I told her to stay away from him, she said she will (let's hope so) so tonight I helped her pack her things since the dust settled and drove her to her mom's house, to whom I explained the situation.
Funny thing is she kissed my cheek while I was leaving back to the car and said something like:
"You're a sweetheart, I wish there were more guys like you". It made me blush.
I think she kinda likes me but she's probably still with the other guy in mind so I just said thanks and goodbye and left.
I think I'll call her one day, if she stays away from that idiot. She's a nice girl.
Right now I just want to breathe in relief for being able to solve a problem.
She's currently safe at her mom's house and that's what matters.
And now, changing topic:
It's been hot as hell here and tomorrow I think I'm going to the beach with some friends. They say there will be some girl friends they want me to meet, so why the fuck not?
get your budgie smugglers out
bitches love a buldging package; make "special delivery" jokes as often as possible.
e: if you have massive amounts of body hair (i.e. on your back) that really helps too
Here's a prickly situation for the fellows here.
My girlfriend and I are overweight as hell. Neither of us are active at [I]all[/I] and I honestly want to change that. Only problem is that she's incredibly insecure about her weight and whenever I try to bring it up she assumes that I'm just calling her fat for no reason. I really need help figuring out how exactly I initiate this conversation, because she gets mad real easy.
It's the same with diet. I enjoy pretty much any food as long as the texture isn't weird, but she can be picky and she will probably end up assuming I'm trying to control her or some weird shit
Any advice is appreciated.
Just talk to her about how you're dissatisfied with your own condition and what you want to do to change it. With any luck at all she'll identify with what you're saying and voluntarily join you in your efforts, whatever they may be.
Hey FP. I'm pretty irritated right now and I don't have a clue what to do.
So, yesterday was pretty much one of the worst days in my whole life. One of my best friends was in some kinda bad mood, didn't talk to me. Got some pretty average marks in school. Heard that this one girl I like was planing to go out with some random guy the next day. Stuff like that.
So when I came home and turned on my computer I was immidiately greeted by some message on skype. Turns out it was a pretty close friend of mine. We always chat and skype and stuff like that and I visited her twice for about a week. Well, today, something was different. She asked me stuff about asking other people out and was acting weird towards me for the entire evening. I felt that something was wrong but I kept my mouth shut.
Today I didn't go to school. I felt like shit and decided to spent most of the day in bed, since we weren't going to do anything important anyway. About an hour ago I was awakened by a message on my phone. It was that friend of mine and basically, she just told me that she loves me. And this was when my mind just went clusterfuck. I like her too, but I don't know if it is love. On the other hand I'm pretty much into that one girl from school. I know too well what it feels like to be rejected, so I don't want to do that to the one who loves me, and I also don't know if I even have a chance with the other girl. I don't know what the fuck to do. Should I take my chances and get into some long range relationship with her? Or should I tell her that I'm not sure what I feel about her and that there's another one, probably destroying our friendship? I'm fucking lost here Facepunch. And I kinda feel weird to ask for the help of an Internet forum.
Advice, anyone?
[QUOTE=Ray551;36512877]Hey FP. I'm pretty irritated right now and I don't have a clue what to do.
So, yesterday was pretty much one of the worst days in my whole life. One of my best friends was in some kinda bad mood, didn't talk to me. Got some pretty average marks in school. Heard that this one girl I like was planing to go out with some random guy the next day. Stuff like that.
So when I came home and turned on my computer I was immidiately greeted by some message on skype. Turns out it was a pretty close friend of mine. We always chat and skype and stuff like that and I visited her twice for about a week. Well, today, something was different. She asked me stuff about asking other people out and was acting weird towards me for the entire evening. I felt that something was wrong but I kept my mouth shut.
Today I didn't go to school. I felt like shit and decided to spent most of the day in bed, since we weren't going to do anything important anyway. About an hour ago I was awakened by a message on my phone. It was that friend of mine and basically, she just told me that she loves me. And this was when my mind just went clusterfuck. I like her too, but I don't know if it is love. On the other hand I'm pretty much into that one girl from school. I know too well what it feels like to be rejected, so I don't want to do that to the one who loves me, and I also don't know if I even have a chance with the other girl. I don't know what the fuck to do. Should I take my chances and get into some long range relationship with her? Or should I tell her that I'm not sure what I feel about her and that there's another one, probably destroying our friendship? I'm fucking lost here Facepunch. And I kinda feel weird to ask for the help of an Internet forum.
Advice, anyone?[/QUOTE]
Wait, how long range? I'm thinking that it might be a bad idea if you won't even be able to spend time together physically. However, of you are able to spend time together and go on dates and stuff, then to be honest I would give it a go, but you should probably tell her that you want to take it slow, because if she 'loves' you, and you break it off after a week that could be bad.
There's this girl in my youth group, who whenever I look at her, she's looking at me. And on the trip thst we went on, she would come and sit next to me or walk with me when I was walking. By the end of the trip I started smiling at her when she looked over and joking around with her because I think the attention I was getting made me like her, and now I can't stop thinking about her. There's another guy, but I'm not too worried because he's 20, she's 15 and as of yesterday I discovered that she doesn't even know he likes her. Since the trip we went on I've started talking to her on Facebook, because I thought it wouldn't be a big deal if she did like me. So, I don't really need advice, I just wanted to put that out there. But should I jump straight in and ask her to go to something with me?
I was watching "Meet the Soldier" and my mom popped in to talk to me about my day and I usually hear her coming and I minimize my internet but she kinda ambushed so me so the entire time we were talking there was a huge computer screen of all the heads sitting on the fence the entire time while we were talking.
Better than the time when she talked to me when I was playing TF2 and I paused it with console up and some text said "Jesus was killed with a flamethrower" and she read and got a teeny bit upset.
[QUOTE=Jmir 54;36514364]I was watching "Meet the Soldier" and my mom popped in to talk to me about my day and I usually hear her coming and I minimize my internet but she kinda ambushed so me so the entire time we were talking there was a huge computer screen of all the heads sitting on the fence the entire time while we were talking.
Better than the time when she talked to me when I was playing TF2 and I paused it with console up and some text said "Jesus was killed with a flamethrower" and she read and got a teeny bit upset.[/QUOTE]
Could have been worse, I've lost count of the times my parents have walked in whilst a bedroom scene in a (totally innocent) film is going on.
[QUOTE=blerb;36512472]Here's a prickly situation for the fellows here.
My girlfriend and I are overweight as hell. Neither of us are active at [I]all[/I] and I honestly want to change that. Only problem is that she's incredibly insecure about her weight and whenever I try to bring it up she assumes that I'm just calling her fat for no reason. I really need help figuring out how exactly I initiate this conversation, because she gets mad real easy.
It's the same with diet. I enjoy pretty much any food as long as the texture isn't weird, but she can be picky and she will probably end up assuming I'm trying to control her or some weird shit
Any advice is appreciated.[/QUOTE]
Work out something you'd like to do about it first and not dress it up so much as weight loss?
Start out simple, like go walking or bike riding, tell her itll be all romantic and shit, then step it up from there, go further or more often and then pick something you can do together that's more active, learn something new sport-wise together like climbing or rowing or sailing. Anything. If you really need a reason suggest you're sick of being inside and would like to spend more time with her doing something in the fresh air.
[QUOTE=blerb;36512472]Here's a prickly situation for the fellows here.
My girlfriend and I are overweight as hell. Neither of us are active at [I]all[/I] and I honestly want to change that. Only problem is that she's incredibly insecure about her weight and whenever I try to bring it up she assumes that I'm just calling her fat for no reason. I really need help figuring out how exactly I initiate this conversation, because she gets mad real easy.
It's the same with diet. I enjoy pretty much any food as long as the texture isn't weird, but she can be picky and she will probably end up assuming I'm trying to control her or some weird shit
Any advice is appreciated.[/QUOTE]
it's great you want to change yourself for the better and improve your health but you shouldn't expect her to want to do it too. she might be insecure about her weight as you say but some people simply don't want to either
a. admit it
or
b. put the required effort in to change the situation
again, it's great that you want to, but don't try to force it on her. as mako said, maybe once you start doing it and she sees your progress she'll want to join in, but i don't think you should frown upon her if she doesn't. i hope that if you change drastically and she doesn't, you'll still love her for who she is
[QUOTE=Jmir 54;36514364]I was watching "Meet the Soldier" and my mom popped in to talk to me about my day and I usually hear her coming and I minimize my internet but she kinda ambushed so me so the entire time we were talking there was a huge computer screen of all the heads sitting on the fence the entire time while we were talking.
Better than the time when she talked to me when I was playing TF2 and I paused it with console up and some text said "Jesus was killed with a flamethrower" and she read and got a teeny bit upset.[/QUOTE]
Reminds me of the time my dad and I were driving home and got rear-ended at a roundabout by someone who had a brain fart and forgot to do the last little bit of braking. Both cars pulled over and we went to exchange contact details.
My dad needed a piece of paper, so he grabbed a leaflet from the PC Gamer we got while we were out. Unfortunately it was for some MMO so I had to watch my dad write his phone number on the tits of some chainmail bikini monster and hand it to a nice middle-aged lady before we parted ways.
-snip, I'll figure it out. Thanks.-
go go go!!!
-snip, I'll figure it out. Thanks.-
Your fun is undependable of her existence in your life. You do stuff because you enjoy them.
-snip, I'll figure it out. Thanks.-
If, if... Choose. I can't make up your mind for you.
Yeah. Sorry.
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