• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;36522331]But I don't know if I can enjoy the time in Taiwan if I can never be like that.[/QUOTE] Don't go, if she wants to go just as friends, it will be a trip which you spend worrying the whole time about how you can get back with her. I personally don't think it's worth it...
UPDATE ON MY BITCH SITCH I am getting good vibes from her at work. We joke lots and she seems just generally interested in me. I watched a silly PUA video the other day, and as stupid as PUA bullshit is, i actually think that some of the video was accurate to a degree. You build comfort levels with a person through both physical and spoken interaction, start small with nonthreatening things and build your way up to more flirty things. Today she put her hands on mine when i had them on the counter across from her. Certainly caught me off guard too. I actually like going to work now. I just need to find a way to meet up with her outside of work. She still "owes" me a beer so i can use that to my advantage somehow.
[QUOTE=Seith;36522246]Your fun is undependable of her existence in your life. You do stuff because you enjoy them.[/QUOTE] Seith Translatorbot 3000 initializing... 123589826731203966743799235... 986830452690426702935861248... 213509843622035026923620669... beep "Just do whatever you want to do, you don't need her to have fun." [QUOTE=Seith;36522484]If, if... Choose. I can't make up your mind for you.[/QUOTE] beep beep ERROR #682: worthless, overly-cryptic statement of the obvious
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;36521866]That just made me smile. Now what's your reasoning behind it.. She said she wants me to go.. but only as friends.[/QUOTE] i'm afraid i read it wrong. for whatever reason, i read it as "we were planning to go but i was waiting for her, but now that we're not together any more there's nothing stopping me from going on my own" so the way i (thought i) saw it was "recently single, freedom to do something you've wanted to do but haven't been able to". which would have been a perfect reason to go! but uhh, that's not the case. sorry! :c [editline]27th June 2012[/editline] but it still stands, if you want to go (regardless of whether she goes with you or not) then you should do it
[QUOTE=Future;36523370]Don't go, if she wants to go just as friends, it will be a trip which you spend worrying the whole time about how you can get back with her. I personally don't think it's worth it...[/QUOTE] That's what I worry about. I can accept her as just a friend but you know that's not how our brains work. I want to stay in the US and live my last moments before college with friends but still in between those hangouts I'll be sitting in front of a computer. If I do stay I have a lot of time to prepare for college. Because it's orientation, Taiwan, and then straight to college. But yeah, I think I'm going to go. Canceling the ticket costs a lot anyway..
so i said "lmao you one upped me" to her in a text and she was like "get used to it" then followed up with a ;) She WAnts My Dick. e: Or not. i texted "i could ;)" in response and got none back. so just to give myself plausible deniability i followed up about 40 minutes later with "or i could 2-up your 1-ups, ha". then she said "start drinking 7up" and i made the Are You Fucking Kidding Me face. not sure if she's just ignoring my little flirts or if she's oblivious. should i be escalating this more? are my flirts too "safe"? maybe i should just say fuck the texting and flirt more irl e2: You see what i mean about me being a spergy fucker when it comes to shit like this? I'm reading into it way too much and investing too much into it. I should be letting the chips fall where they may since she's already made her decision regarding me, its just a matter of deciphering it casually. I'm going to just work on self improvement. Good things seem to follow when you focus on something other than trying to impress someone.
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;36475355]Yeah dude, she's into you. Even if she wasn't, I'd say to ask her out regardless. Stares at you, friends teasing her, randomly asks about your personal life of her own initiative. She's into you.[/QUOTE] Just wanted to respond to this since I don't want to look like I didn't pay the post any mind. So I guessed from the amount of agrees on that post and the post itself that she is into me; but here I am again doing what I said I wouldn't do, which is doing that "wait and see" bit (or pussying around to others, I guess?). I kinda noticed ever since she talked to me that she changed her appearance just a tid-bit, as in she stopped wearing her glasses and started wearing a little make-up. Plus I keep noticing her giving me a stare when she sees me, I guess waiting for me to do something? Thing is I don't know what to do, I keep second guessing myself and have the thought going in the back in my head, "No way is she interested in me in any way." So I keep fighting with my thoughts and do nothing about it, yet I realize what I'm doing and hate that it always happen. Any tips on approaching her, I've got nothing really and I suck at this.
Dude, stop overanalysing, you've obviously won the battle already so just ask the charitable lass out [sp]I'm still cringing at your conversations by the way, she must be some kind of masochist[/sp] [editline]28th June 2012[/editline] Whoops, how did I have this tab open for 20 minutes That was @ twoski
twoski: Never trust a PUA video, or for that matter, any kind of PUA advice. Ever. The PUAs try to analyze, categorize, and document the 'science' of a relationship. Simply put, real life doesn't work that way, no matter how many testimonies you've read. You cannot abide by a set of rules and hope that if you do them all right, you'll suddenly wake up next to the girl the next day. Speaking from experience. - Waiting a long time to text her back isn't making you more desirable, it's making you wait a long time to text her back. - Escalation of physical contact in planned steps only makes you plan steps. - Acting overconfident/swag/full of joi de vivre only works if you are actually overconfident/swag/full of joi de vivre. What I'm trying to say is that it'll be a whole lot easier if you go do stuff you did before being attracted to her, get a hobby or something, play some gmod, and ask her out for coffee when you see her next. The more you analyze the situation and wonder if she likes you, the more you magically think. Magical thinking tends to lead to infatuation. Don't get infatuated. Go to bed.
[QUOTE=twoski;36525598]She WAnts My Dick.[/QUOTE] and don't say things like that
[QUOTE=Skuzee;36530316]Thing is I don't know what to do, I keep second guessing myself and have the thought going in the back in my head, "No way is she interested in me in any way." So I keep fighting with my thoughts and do nothing about it, yet I realize what I'm doing and hate that it always happen. Any tips on approaching her, I've got nothing really and I suck at this.[/QUOTE] To reiterate all the posters above me, "Hey, do you want to go out with me and get coffee on [day]?" Based on what you've said before, bro, she likes you. I've often been told "what's the worst that can happen, if she rejects you you move on" which is really crap advice for someone in the situation - if you're scared of asking her out, that means you're scared of rejection which is actually the worst that can happen, which makes that advice kind of irrelevant! Instead, what you should realize is that you're asking her to get a drink with you - not for her hand in marriage. If she rejects you (for whatever reason), you just play it off as a just friends thing, say "OK, some other time then", smile, and keep chatting. Don't be scared of rejection, because it's really not that scary a concept.
[QUOTE=twoski;36525598]so i said "lmao you one upped me" to her in a text and she was like "get used to it" then followed up with a ;) She WAnts My Dick. e: Or not. i texted "i could ;)" in response and got none back. so just to give myself plausible deniability i followed up about 40 minutes later with "or i could 2-up your 1-ups, ha". then she said "start drinking 7up" and i made the Are You Fucking Kidding Me face. not sure if she's just ignoring my little flirts or if she's oblivious. should i be escalating this more? are my flirts too "safe"? maybe i should just say fuck the texting and flirt more irl e2: You see what i mean about me being a spergy fucker when it comes to shit like this? I'm reading into it way too much and investing too much into it. I should be letting the chips fall where they may since she's already made her decision regarding me, its just a matter of deciphering it casually. I'm going to just work on self improvement. Good things seem to follow when you focus on something other than trying to impress someone.[/QUOTE] Practice the art of subtlety
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36530759]twoski: Never trust a PUA video, or for that matter, any kind of PUA advice. Ever. The PUAs try to analyze, categorize, and document the 'science' of a relationship. Simply put, real life doesn't work that way, no matter how many testimonies you've read. You cannot abide by a set of rules and hope that if you do them all right, you'll suddenly wake up next to the girl the next day. Speaking from experience.[/quote] Well duh, i take every PUA thing with a grain of salt. Some of it is just common sense and some of it is utter horseshit. PUAs even acknowledge that their stuff isn't meant to be used in a mechanical, thoughtless way (hence their term, calibration). I thought their little video on kino was somewhat insightful, although it quickly became ludicrous and misogynist after the basic stuff. [quote]- Waiting a long time to text her back isn't making you more desirable, it's making you wait a long time to text her back. - Escalation of physical contact in planned steps only makes you plan steps. - Acting overconfident/swag/full of joi de vivre only works if you are actually overconfident/swag/full of joi de vivre. What I'm trying to say is that it'll be a whole lot easier if you go do stuff you did before being attracted to her, get a hobby or something, play some gmod, and ask her out for coffee when you see her next. The more you analyze the situation and wonder if she likes you, the more you magically think. Magical thinking tends to lead to infatuation. Don't get infatuated. Go to bed.[/QUOTE] Yeah that's exactly what i do. I always catch myself doing it after the fact too. Hard to break that kind of habit. [QUOTE=Autumn;36530784]and don't say things like that[/QUOTE] nooo i didnt mean that seriously either
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;36523557]Seith Translatorbot 3000 initializing... 123589826731203966743799235... 986830452690426702935861248... 213509843622035026923620669... beep "Just do whatever you want to do, you don't need her to have fun." beep beep ERROR #682: worthless, overly-cryptic statement of the obvious[/QUOTE] No and... no.
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;36517411]it's great you want to change yourself for the better and improve your health but you shouldn't expect her to want to do it too. she might be insecure about her weight as you say but some people simply don't want to either a. admit it or b. put the required effort in to change the situation again, it's great that you want to, but don't try to force it on her. as mako said, maybe once you start doing it and she sees your progress she'll want to join in, but i don't think you should frown upon her if she doesn't. i hope that if you change drastically and she doesn't, you'll still love her for who she is[/QUOTE] Thanks. I confronted her today about it, and while upset at first, she's agreed to try it out to see how she feels about it. She actually wants to start tomorrow, haha. I don't really mind if she quits, I just know that I'm tired of being overweight and tired of worrying about my health. Whether she joins me in my quest to be healthy or not is her choice, I was just worried about her assuming I'm only doing it "to get laid" (she's had trust issues since I met her, and assumes I'd cheat at the first available offer... Which isn't the case) ... Anyway, thanks for the replies everyone :)
[QUOTE=Autumn;36530784]and don't say things like that[/QUOTE] "I don't know what you're complaining about, he's not the best conversationalist in the world but she's put up with it so far, so what's the problem!"
Yeah, because his initial level of awkwardness (which is what I'd refered to) has definitely not increased to what he's showing now...
He's off the charts doctor
i'm just joking around, might as well since i'm posting on the internet asking for advice on matters like these. there's nothing awkward between us yet, i think things could only get worse if i made an advance and it turned out she wasn't into me.
[QUOTE=twoski;36533312]i'm just joking around, might as well since i'm posting on the internet asking for advice on matters like these. there's nothing awkward between us yet, i think things could only get worse if i made an advance and it turned out she wasn't into me.[/QUOTE] Dude how much have you even seen this girl? Cause these engaging text logs can only keep someone interested for so long.
[QUOTE=twoski;36525598]maybe i should just say fuck the texting and flirt more irl I'm reading into it way too much and investing too much into it. I'm going to just work on self improvement. Good things seem to follow when you focus on something other than trying to impress someone.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=twoski;36533312]]i think things could only get worse if i made an advance and it turned out she wasn't into me.[/QUOTE] You don't 'make advances' if you're looking for a relationship, you ask her out, because that's literally the easiest (and least painful in case of rejection) way to do it.
All right so after the break up.. we both said we wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.. I have slept much better than the past 3 days at least.. because before she was trying to be mean to give me some idea and I knew something was up. Two days after she posts "second time staying up all night WHY because i drank only ONE cup of coffee." as her status on FB. Does it mean anything.. or am I being too optimistic.
Why the fuck would you be optimistic because she's having a hard time?
It means you're giving too much credit to her FB status diarrhea.
[QUOTE=Seith;36536269]Why the fuck would you be optimistic because she's having a hard time?[/QUOTE] She's thinking about it.. I told her friends to help her out if she asks for it. Just as a heads up. [editline]28th June 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36536377]It means you're giving too much credit to her FB status diarrhea.[/QUOTE] No, you have no idea. This girl. She doesn't update her status every 6 minutes ok.. she's different. She doesn't dress all slutty either. She's kind of a like a Tomboy. That's what I liked about her.
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;36536852]She's thinking about it.. I told her friends to help her out if she asks for it. Just as a heads up. [editline]28th June 2012[/editline] No, you have no idea. This girl. She doesn't update her status every 6 minutes ok.. she's different. She doesn't dress all slutty either. She's kind of a like a Tomboy. That's what I liked about her.[/QUOTE] this might be news to you, but everyone is different from everyone else.
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;36536852]She's thinking about it.. [B]I told her friends to help her out if she asks for it[/B]. Just as a heads up. [editline]28th June 2012[/editline] No, you have no idea. This girl. She doesn't update her status every 6 minutes ok.. she's different. She doesn't dress all slutty either. She's kind of a like a Tomboy. That's what I liked about her.[/QUOTE] That seems a little much. But dude, even if that status meant something, analyzing all these little things for little clues is not good for you. Been there, done that, you'll drive yourself crazy
Yeah. I accept it's over but you guys know that's not how our brains work.. The thing is.. just when I think I've recovered. I'm pulled back in.
[QUOTE=Errorproxy;36536852]She's thinking about it.. I told her friends to help her out if she asks for it. Just as a heads up. [editline]28th June 2012[/editline] No, you have no idea. This girl. She doesn't update her status every 6 minutes ok.. she's different. She doesn't dress all slutty either. She's kind of a like a Tomboy. That's what I liked about her.[/QUOTE] Man, sorry to ruin your fun but. It's post breakup status diarrhea. Most girls (in this case girls, although guys do it too) type all kinds of crazy shit after they breakup. It means shit, trust me. If she wanted to tell you something she'd do it. And even if she is trying to indirectly tell you something, which I doubt, it would be an awful way to do it, and you're no hieroglyph expert so gain some self-respect. If she has something to say to you and if she likes you, she'll respect you enough to come talk to you or even call you. Don't accept anything less than that. And by less I mean trying to decipher girl code language.
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