• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;36561055] Godspeed, nigguh. I don't mind at all if you want to add me on Steam as well, I'm more than happy to listen to any and all of your stupid rants![/QUOTE] Late reply, but I have to say thank you so much for this! Again, thanks!
All my friendlys for you guys, I guess I was just overanalysing stuff instead of looking to the most obvious answer.
Yeah it's pretty easy to lose focus when the answer is pretty simple.
I tried talking to the girl today, she ignored me. Ah well, plenty of fish in the sea I geuss.
You gotta be doing something weird man, people don't just ignore people unless they're total dicks What did you say?
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;36608565]I tried talking to the girl today, she ignored me. Ah well, plenty of fish in the sea I geuss.[/QUOTE] "Hey, what's up?" "..." This doesn't happen often. What exactly did you do?
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;36608646]You gotta be doing something weird man, people don't just ignore people unless they're total dicks What did you say?[/QUOTE] I just said "Hey, what's up" like down below, and she said she had work to do and left, and every other time I said hi she just ignored me.
oh fb chat if you're getting ignored on fb chat it probably means she isn't interesting. the more you say "hi" and get ignored, the more she'll start labelling you as a creep my girlfriend showed me chatlogs of creepy guys who say hi to her on chat on a frequent basis. if you're getting ignored it's best to stop
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;36608935]oh fb chat if you're getting ignored on fb chat it probably means she isn't interesting. the more you say "hi" and get ignored, the more she'll start labelling you as a creep my girlfriend showed me chatlogs of creepy guys who say hi to her on chat on a frequent basis. if you're getting ignored it's best to stop[/QUOTE] Except I'm not talking about fb chat.
Well if you're telling the whole story I guess she's just being bitchy Probably shouldn't say hi to people periodically throughout the day though, that's pretty strange [QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;36608935]oh fb chat[/QUOTE] Where did that come from :v:
Bitchy? Maybe she just doesn't like him.
it sounded like an fb chat conversation because i can't understand any other way in which you could say "hi" to someone and get completely 100% ignored
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;36608898]and she said she had work to do and left[/QUOTE] you alright chesty? seem to be reading things a little odd today :P
left the chat!! u kno like "hi :)" "sorry gtg do some work cya" "oh bye :) xx" on fb chat do you want me make a mock-up of how this situation might happen i can do that for you in a jiffy [editline]3rd July 2012[/editline] i'm not mental
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;36608962]Except I'm not talking about fb chat.[/QUOTE] were you whispering or something because i don't get how you would say hello and get 100% ignored that seems a bit weird
Maybe she was actually deaf
Have you been looking at her a lot for a little while? Some girls get creeped if a guy keeps looking at her over and over.
Well to be fair, think of it like this: From your point of view, you're looking at this person and wanting to start a conversation, seems reasonable yeah? But from her point of view, it's just any other day, she got up and did the whole morning routine and got to school/work, was happy to see her friends there or whatever, got down to some work, made some plans, was thinking about what she was gonna have for dinner later or whatever. So when some random person walks up and says hi it's reasonable to expect her to not be interested. I mean think about how you made most of your friends, you just end up talking to them because you're introduced or your stuck with them for a task or something.
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;36610060]it sounded like an fb chat conversation because i can't understand any other way in which you could say "hi" to someone and get completely 100% ignored[/QUOTE] This. How exactly did you say 'hi'? You walked up to her while she was doing something and said 'hi', you look at your feet and say it, mumble it and walk by, what? People typically react when someone says something to them.
[QUOTE=OatmealMan;36604444]Mornin', folks, making first post here as far as I can remember I'm going to try to tell my story here a short as possible, I guess too many details would be confusing. Anyways, situation is as follows: I've come to this school 3-4 years ago and I guess I was more of an awkward kid back then, but I changed a lot since then and I've become a more social guy. Well, this year is actually the first year I've really had contact with this one girl from my class; she's fairly good looking (understatement) and also seems to be fairly intelligent. Later this year, we take driving school together, and during one really empty theoretical lesson, we were the only ones there from our school so we got more into talking. Well, things go nice, we exchange numbers and go eat to some place later, generally did a bit together over the course of ~2 weeks, always having loadsa fun together. Now, this is where things go downhill: She works at this kids playhouse-workshop place thats generally low on staff, and messages me one evening that she broke down due to stress and won't be coming to school; I try and cheer her up a little and help her out on organising some stuff with school and driving lessons Weekend's over and I have a feeling she's trying to avoid me for whatever reason; feels shitty to get ignored like that. Anyone have any clue why a girl would act like that?[/QUOTE] You're feeling a little insecure about her suddenly drifting apart from you. Most of those fears about losing her are insecurities. Lose them. Don't even think about her main reason from drifting away from you is YOU. It isn't and that isn't even clear. So don't even think about that. You were kind to her. Don't become paranoid. So she told you she's broke down due to stress. Give her some time to recover. You're just friends. You offered to help, you've done all you can for now. Let time do the rest and leave her some space to miss you and talk to you again. Her kind of job can be really stressful, believe me, I kinda understand what she's going through. Give her some time and go do something else. Your life doesn't gravitate around her. I'm pretty sure that in due time she'll speak to you again.
Went to ask a girl out. Ah, the awkwardness of "I already have a boyfriend". Surprisingly slight amounts of it, though. Probably should simply befriend her, since she does seem to have good interests to learn/talk about. But this does bring me to a simply problem - I have absolutely no idea who to search for. I can't really try searching for someone with the same interests, since many of them are simple and usually done on per-individual basis. As well as things like video games or tabletop either featuring all of the interested girls as taken or not taken for good reasons. Then, I can't find someone at college I go to, since I live off hour and a half off-campus, and thus am forced to have 10 hours of classes a day (and when I do have free-time, it's usually spent on homeworks and alike). Which really cuts down on any social interaction. It doesn't help that my (somewhat) eccentric way of acting seemed to gave me a reputation of being "weird", although only in my academic department. Still, most of the girls in it are taken, and I simply don't have the time to keep in contact with anyone else. So much for college. And then there is the annoying traits of my mind. Despite breaking up with my ex a year ago, I haven't found anyone of interest, though I assume mainly because I actually had hopes to come back to being with her (well, no more of that, luckily). Considering that I don't spend all of my days sitting at home/there are plenty of girls at college/I pass by multiple people every time I walk, I find this rather strange. And then there is my complete inability to guess anyone's age at all. I may think someone who is 40, to be 20, and may assume that those in their mid-20s are still in high school. I constantly fail at guessing people's ages and I feel rather silly to have to ask them directly about such a thing. This makes me afraid to take interest in anyone outside the college area (especially around my town, which has one of the biggest High School in the state), for the fear of ending up hitting on someone way too young or something like that. On a positive side, I have something similar to the beginnings of social life, since I talk with coworkers, have a friend working in the easily-accessible area, and once a week go to a hobby store for obvious reasons. Still, plenty of room to expand, though at least I don't feel like my social needs are neglected. But alas, Facepunch, what should I do?
Asking a girl out: Be blunt or creative? (how to word it)
[QUOTE=gufu;36616712]But alas, Facepunch, what should I do?[/QUOTE] Push yourself to approach and talk to people dude. Find clubs or groups at your college of like-minded individuals and get to know people there. Just go out, form connections at your work, meet new people at clubs, and just keep expanding your social circles. Don't think about things like if they have similar interests or what age they are, you can find all of that shit out once you start talking to them. Hell, you should get yourself used to talking to everyone, whether it's nothing more than a friendly 'hi' as you walk past someone, to small talk with the girl serving your coffee, it's a good habit to push yourself to be more sociable. Really though, maybe you should keep focusing on defining yourself and what your values and passions are, and finding that confidence in yourself and your own personality, rather than actively 'trying to find someone.' I think generally the latter can lead to more problems and consequent disappointment, whilst the former is more likely to present you with more genuine or real opportunities, y'know? [editline]4th July 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=areolop;36617603]Asking a girl out: Be blunt or creative? (how to word it)[/QUOTE] Uhh, somewhere in between? Just be honest, confident, and casual about it. If you've been talking for a while, for example, it's easy to then say something like, "It was nice meeting you/talking to you/catching up, we should do this again some time/we should get together this weekend/we should catch up properly some time over coffee/whatever. How can I reach you?" and then exchange numbers. Call up, maybe chat a little, suggest a date and take it from there. It's only as awkward as you make it out to be! There's some general advice in the OP/s as well.
[QUOTE=areolop;36617603]Asking a girl out: Be blunt or creative? (how to word it)[/QUOTE] The more creative you go, the more you risk entering romantic comedy mode, which as we all know doesn't really work. If I had to give a percentage, I'd go with about 30% creative. You want it to be blunt enough that she understands "he's interested in dating me" and not so blunt that she thinks "this is creepy".
It also depends on the girl you want to ask out too. Some girls really like something a little extra special, some girls just like something direct and honest. I would say overall most girls prefer something that goes a little beyond than just "I like you want to go out sometime?" But anything past the 30% mark just ends up being very embarrassing, unless the girl is obviously head over heels. Which she probably isn't.
You can't be creative when you go for a direct approach. Trying to put a simple thing into "creative" words is simply a coverup for not being able to say it up straight and they'll sense that
Spent the entire night out at a bar for my best friends birthday. I was texting the same girl i've fucked over/been fucked over a heap during the past few years. So many people were staring at me and it just made me think. Does everyone have a special person? Like someone they just always talk to about everything? I have best friends but they never talk to me about life problems. She's the only one that does that. Do you guys have something like this? Cause my life would be alot more boring if i didn't.
Not really. The most I ever came to having a meaningful talk about life problems was a while back when I was taking a 2-hour walk home from a party with a couple of tipsy friends.
I call this girl about twice a week over the phone and we just talk. She talks about her parents, i talk about my friends. It's really nice. Being close is nice.
Rare indeed is a friend who is familiar enough to talk with you about life/personal problems. Consider yourself lucky. It is also very relieving to talk with people about stuff like that.
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