• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Xonax;3663007]decided to ask her out yesterday over hotmail [/QUOTE]That's where you fucked up. There is no way out of this "friendzone", she never saw you as a romantic interest. The number one thing you need to do when wanting to ask out a girl is to show romantic interest in her, or else she'll never be on the same page as you. There are instances where people have said yes after "friendzoning" someone, but this is rare; it's better to do it right the first time around.
[QUOTE=Glitch360;36630112]That's where you fucked up. There is no way out of this "friendzone", she never saw you as a romantic interest. The number one thing you need to do when wanting to ask out a girl is to show romantic interest in her, or else she'll never be on the same page as you. There are instances where people have said yes after "friendzoning" someone, but this is rare; it's better to do it right the first time around.[/QUOTE] I had planned to ask her out in person, except when I met her, she was about to go to work so I was fucked. And she does know I like her.
[QUOTE=Xonax;36630133]I had planned to ask her out in person, except when I met her, she was about to go to work so I was fucked. And she does know I like her.[/QUOTE] no no no this post is an excuse you [I]always[/I] ask a girl out in person. no exceptions.
So my girlfriend's best friend is apparently planning on breaking up with her boyfriend. We went to the fireworks last night and they were there too, and I kinda felt weird knowing that the girl was kinda just putting on a show for him and all.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36625736]Let's not flood more paged about seith Seith. No offence but some of your advices are so vague and trivial that they become annoying. They are so theoretical that it seems you're quoting from some lousy philosophical advice book just to fill in the gaps. They lack, personal experience and essence. They look like you're preaching something you don't even practice cause it doesn't make any sense other than in theory. We're not telling you to stop posting, not at all, sometimes you can say pretty agreeable stuff. However it's these Fill in the gaps posts that are really unnecessary.[/QUOTE] Thank you, I would love to end the rest of my days as great as Socrates.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36630010]wow are you fucking serious so i tried to contact my ex about returning his books, because i found it's a bit over $30 to mail them to him and since i'm RIGHT near his house once a week i figured i could just drop them off. so he declines when i try to send him a steam message or friend request. so i message a mutual steam friend who i'm pretty close with and ask him if he can copy paste a message to my ex essentially saying that i'd rather drop off his books at his house or he could pick them up from my front porch if that's more comfortable for him, ex responds that he'll reimburse me for the costs and i ask why i can't just drop them off, his response? "i don't want her anywhere near me" then he says to stop using mutual friends to contact him when he hasn't given me any other option, i tell the mutual friend to tell him to add me on steam, and my ex insists that i call him and he will not talk to me in any other way. the guy's being a complete child, it's been 7 months and apparently he was even slandering me to my mutual friend (he said at one point my ex was talking to him directly and whatever was being said couldn't be passed on). he's CLEARLY not over it yet and there's no fucking way i'm calling him. now i don't even have another way to contact him to tell him i'm not returning his books.[/QUOTE] don't give him his books then its not your problem, you're doing him a favor
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;36630098]Dark_Light story[/QUOTE] You still have the weekend to plan out something with her. She could just be really busy at work and what not. I only suggest you give it time until "next week" is over with.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36630010]wow are you fucking serious so i tried to contact my ex about returning his books, because i found it's a bit over $30 to mail them to him and since i'm RIGHT near his house once a week i figured i could just drop them off. so he declines when i try to send him a steam message or friend request. so i message a mutual steam friend who i'm pretty close with and ask him if he can copy paste a message to my ex essentially saying that i'd rather drop off his books at his house or he could pick them up from my front porch if that's more comfortable for him, ex responds that he'll reimburse me for the costs and i ask why i can't just drop them off, his response? "i don't want her anywhere near me" then he says to stop using mutual friends to contact him when he hasn't given me any other option, i tell the mutual friend to tell him to add me on steam, and my ex insists that i call him and he will not talk to me in any other way. the guy's being a complete child, it's been 7 months and apparently he was even slandering me to my mutual friend (he said at one point my ex was talking to him directly and whatever was being said couldn't be passed on). he's CLEARLY not over it yet and there's no fucking way i'm calling him. now i don't even have another way to contact him to tell him i'm not returning his books.[/QUOTE] Damn Don't even bother
[QUOTE=Kopimi;36630535]don't give him his books then its not your problem, you're doing him a favor[/QUOTE] yeah, i'm keeping them. the best part of the whole story? i have his whole sin city collection. that's 7 books that i could easily sell for $10 each if i wanted to. he's got half a dozen paperbacks of mine that i bought for 20 cents each at a library booksale. the only reason i've gone to all this trouble is out of sheer generosity, there is literally no motivation for me to return his shit, and he's trying to make me jump through hoops just to do it. i shot him a text basically saying that i'll either drop his books off at his front door or keep them.
[QUOTE=Seith;36625459]Sorry you think that way about yourself when you imagine that scenario. [/QUOTE] No, I think that way about how I know you are. No imagination needed. [editline]5th July 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Seith;36625549]Is that the only way you think of yourself "generating your own happiness" ?[/QUOTE] So the phrase self-masturbatory completely alludes you then [editline]5th July 2012[/editline] You consistently prove you're living in your own head, not on any plane of reality.
Do I?
[QUOTE=timothy80;36628451]Yeah. They want her to be with someone that will be good to her. Anyway, I'm a year older than her. I'm 18. She is 17.[/QUOTE] That's putting a lot of pressure on both her and you. Imagine things go wrong *knock on wood* and you've already met her parents and all. It will be a little awkward. I think that "relationship with parents included" keeps a lot of guys away from her. I think she has to have a conversation with her parents about it. She'll be 18 soon and a little less control won't turn her suddenly into a whore. I bet she's an only child too, right?
Quoting something I posted in the sex/girlfriends thread: [quote]Uggh, things have been weird with my friend ever since I told her I liked her. I don't talk to her too often, but when I try to she doesn't really respond to me on facebook or tumblr anymore. Like, a few days ago I tried asking her if she wanted to join me and some friends for a movie, and she didn't respond. From what a friend of mine said, it's in her nature to be really cool about this sort of thing. And it seems kind of out of her nature to ignore any facebook messages/replies. Is it safe to say that she's avoiding me because she's still getting through her break-up? It's only really been 2 months out of a 1 year relationship.[/quote] I get the feeling that she might like me. I haven't seen her in a few weeks on account of the summer, but she did show some good signs when we were doing things together.
1 year of relationship is not that long but it's enough to make you "need vacation" from relationships. But hey, you're friends for now and it's been 2 months so I think there's no harm cause she kinda likes you, right? Don't rely on facebook to take conlusions from people. Give some time and then call in a few days if you have some plans. Some days people are just busy. I myself haven't been replying to most of my friends conversations through facebook cause when I come to the computer at night I just want to play some games before bed and don't have the right mindset for a conversation. It's not that I lost interest in my friends, it's just I'm not in the mood. And I believe that's what happens with most people. It's inevitable to go checking facebook without the messenger popup appearing. and most people don't feel like going offline just for a quick check. Don't worry. She's not losing interest. give some time and then try again if you have plans.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36627872]If you like her what exactly kept you from going forward with her. She wanted to stay with you, so...? Was it because she's all "available"? I didn't understand that. I know you never had anything with a girl, but there is no rocket science behind it. Sounds to me you got a little intimidated and overwhelmed about all of it. Right? There will be more opportunities with her. Ask her out.[/QUOTE] I could just call her up right now and ask if she wants to come over for a weekend or something, but I don't think I will. I don't think I like her, and I don't think I want to do something with somebody my friend has liked anyways. But thanks.
[QUOTE=Reimu;36632505]Uggh, things have been weird with my friend ever since [B]I told her I liked her[/B].[/quote] There's your problem [QUOTE=Reimu;36632505]Is it safe to say that she's avoiding me because she's still getting through her break-up?[/quote] No [QUOTE=Reimu;36632505]she did show some good signs when we were doing things together[/quote] Signs mean nothing
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36633050]Signs mean nothing[/QUOTE] Signs mean what you [I]want[/I] them to mean. Or what you fear them to mean.
[QUOTE=MrJazzy;36633042]I could just call her up right now and ask if she wants to come over for a weekend or something, but I don't think I will. I don't think I like her, and I don't think I want to do something with somebody my friend has liked anyways. But thanks.[/QUOTE] So you don't know what you feel about her. That's normal. That and the fact that you see your friends "flag" in her. Don't bother yourself thinking about it. She's not a trophy and you owe nothing to your friend of yours. Instead of inviting her over why don't you start by something more simple, like going for coffee, movies, etc etc instead of something more private that most likely will be seen as nothing more than an intimate friendship and thus putting you in a friend zone state. Test yourself and go ask her out in a casual date. It's when you're with the person that you start developing yout true feeling for her. Try it. Don't be so insecure.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36633021]1 year of relationship is not that long but it's enough to make you "need vacation" from relationships. But hey, you're friends for now and it's been 2 months so I think there's no harm cause she kinda likes you, right? Don't rely on facebook to take conlusions from people. Give some time and then call in a few days if you have some plans. Some days people are just busy. I myself haven't been replying to most of my friends conversations through facebook cause when I come to the computer at night I just want to play some games before bed and don't have the right mindset for a conversation. It's not that I lost interest in my friends, it's just I'm not in the mood. And I believe that's what happens with most people. It's inevitable to go checking facebook without the messenger popup appearing. and most people don't feel like going offline just for a quick check. Don't worry. She's not losing interest. give some time and then try again if you have plans.[/QUOTE] Alright, thanks. I noticed it's easier to get in touch with her through tumblr so I think I just might do that from now on. Plus her mind is probably somewhere else with what all she's going through. [QUOTE=Disseminate;36633050]There's your problem No Signs mean nothing[/QUOTE] What about body language and all that? Also I'll admit that telling someone that you like her isn't the best idea in the world, and it's much better to be subtle. But I'm going off to college in September so it seemed like a perfect opportunity to tell her, even if college is only 15 minutes away from our town :v:.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36633050]There's your problem[/QUOTE] There's no problem in telling other people you like them. This is absolutely fake. Yes, a surprise kiss is more intense, more romantic and will definitely raise your chances of getting lucky. But when the Romance period ends and you find out you're not made for eachother, it won't mean a thing. Sometimes it's better to know at the beginning. By making other people know you like them, they'll think about it and you will know if they have actual true feeling for you. Of course this way you're most likely to get rejected because it's something serious, but most of times you go for the surprise kiss things don't go much further than a spark sometimes. It's very relative. I'm more of a surprise kisser and most my relationships have been a disaster because the spark fades away and then when it comes to true feelings, there's nothing there. Other times I told the person that I liked her. 2 times in fact. The first time I got a real NO and it really marked me because for some time I wasn't able to tell a girl I liked her for a long tame, fearing I'd get rejected again. The second time I tried it with a girl I got a yes. I didn't tell that "Hey, I like you", I was subtle and I used other words to describe it which she understood. I felt that things were more real because it started with acknowledgement from both parts. Also I have a friend that's been with a girl for 2 years and their relationship is very solid and it started with the "i like you" thing. So no, it's no mistake to let others know you like them. People like to feel loved.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36633180]So you don't know what you feel about her. That's normal. That and the fact that you see your friends "flag" in her. Don't bother yourself thinking about it. She's not a trophy and you owe nothing to your friend of yours. Instead of inviting her over why don't you start by something more simple, like going for coffee, movies, etc etc instead of something more private that most likely will be seen as nothing more than an intimate friendship and thus putting you in a friend zone state. Test yourself and go ask her out in a casual date. It's when you're with the person that you start developing yout true feeling for her. Try it. Don't be so insecure.[/QUOTE] She lives a train-travel length away from me though. But really I'm quite sure I don't like her, I was just bored when I moved on her.
That's one of the reasons why a lot of my girl friends were urging me to say so. It all depends on the girl and how you're dating. If my friend was an acquaintance I probably wouldn't have said anything, but we've known each other for a few months now and we became friends pretty fast. Plus she gave me a straight-up answer when I told her, so I got what I wanted out of it instead of beating around the bush.
[QUOTE=Reimu;36633280]That's one of the reasons why a lot of my girl friends were urging me to say so. It all depends on the girl and how you're dating. If my friend was an acquaintance I probably wouldn't have said anything, but we've known each other for a few months now and we became friends pretty fast. Plus she gave me a straight-up answer when I told her, so I got what I wanted out of it instead of beating around the bush.[/QUOTE] What did she tell you? That she wasn't interested?
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36633245]There's no problem in telling other people you like them. This is absolutely fake. Yes, a surprise kiss is more intense, more romantic and will definitely raise your chances of getting lucky. But when the Romance period ends and you find out you're not made for eachother, it won't mean a thing. Sometimes it's better to know at the beginning. By making other people know you like them, they'll think about it and you will know if they have actual true feeling for you. Of course this way you're most likely to get rejected because it's something serious, but most of times you go for the surprise kiss things don't go much further than a spark sometimes. It's very relative. I'm more of a surprise kisser and most my relationships have been a disaster because the spark fades away and then when it comes to true feelings, there's nothing there. Other times I told the person that I liked her. 2 times in fact. The first time I got a real NO and it really marked me because for some time I wasn't able to tell a girl I liked her for a long tame, fearing I'd get rejected again. The second time I tried it with a girl I got a yes. I didn't tell that "Hey, I like you", I was subtle and I used other words to describe it which she understood. I felt that things were more real because it started with acknowledgement from both parts. Also I have a friend that's been with a girl for 2 years and their relationship is very solid and it started with the "i like you" thing. So no, it's no mistake to let others know you like them. People like to feel loved.[/QUOTE] I could never do a surprise kiss, I'm too afraid to get done for sexual assault.
The term surprise kiss kinda suggests that, hahaha. I didn't come up with another term for it. Well, it's sexual assault if you do it out of the blue. It's implies certain body language from both people. And when you go for the kiss both of you feel that acceptance. You're not going to kiss a girl just out of the blue. That's the secret behind getting tazered or pepper sprayed.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36633338]What did she tell you? That she wasn't interested?[/QUOTE] She told me that she's going through stuff from a relationship, so she wants to stay friends. She smiled and blushed pretty red by the time we had to go to class, and she told me that I'm great :v:. But we haven't really gotten to talk to each other since. [editline]5th July 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36633371]You're not going to kiss a girl just out of the blue. That's the secret behind getting tazered or pepper sprayed.[/QUOTE] It's a good thing you cleared that up, or this thread might've gotten flooded with awkward posts very fast
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36633245]There's no problem in telling other people you like them. This is absolutely fake. Yes, a surprise kiss is more intense, more romantic and will definitely raise your chances of getting lucky. But when the Romance period ends and you find out you're not made for eachother, it won't mean a thing. Sometimes it's better to know at the beginning. By making other people know you like them, they'll think about it and you will know if they have actual true feeling for you. Of course this way you're most likely to get rejected because it's something serious, but most of times you go for the surprise kiss things don't go much further than a spark sometimes. It's very relative. I'm more of a surprise kisser and most my relationships have been a disaster because the spark fades away and then when it comes to true feelings, there's nothing there. Other times I told the person that I liked her. 2 times in fact. The first time I got a real NO and it really marked me because for some time I wasn't able to tell a girl I liked her for a long tame, fearing I'd get rejected again. The second time I tried it with a girl I got a yes. I didn't tell that "Hey, I like you", I was subtle and I used other words to describe it which she understood. I felt that things were more real because it started with acknowledgement from both parts. Also I have a friend that's been with a girl for 2 years and their relationship is very solid and it started with the "i like you" thing. So no, it's no mistake to let others know you like them. People like to feel loved.[/QUOTE] Sorry, who said anything about a surprise kiss? That'd be even worse than straight up telling [b]your friend of x years[/b] that you like them. The odds are that the other person won't have feelings for you because they are [b]your friend[/b] and it'll just scare them off and make everything awkward. It just sounds like you're in romantic comedy fantasy land where shit like this actually works out properly 100% of the time and by confessing your feelings you'll make them ~fall in love~ with you. Just because it worked twice that you know of doesn't mean it's a good idea under any circumstance. The best possible thing to do is just ask them out - they reject you, you swallow your pride and move on. They don't reject you, then it's a much, much less overwhelming way to gauge interest than 'i like you'. It can work, with an utterly minuscule probability, but you have a much safer bet by just asking them out. [editline]5th July 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Reimu;36633235]What about body language and all that?[/QUOTE] What [i]about[/i] body language and all that? Unless "body language" is "your face on her teats", it's just a road heading to infatuation. All that happens is you start thinking 'wow! she put her hands on her hair, she must want my dick! her feet are aiming towards me and shes making a lot of eye contact!' followed by an audible "hey, uh, i like you.." followed by her stammering and getting up and walking away.
But there's a difference between picking up body language and overanalyzing body language. Like you said, it's a road heading and needs to be understood in its proper context.
So what kind of body language were you picking up, other than an embarrassed blush?
[QUOTE=Disseminate;36633581]So what kind of body language were you picking up, other than an embarrassed blush?[/QUOTE] [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz1L63TdhC8&feature=relmfu[/media] [editline]5th July 2012[/editline] the first bit
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