The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
So don't go. Or go and don't drink.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;36648991]I'm gonna prove how retarded I am here but whatever. I'm nearly finished Uni and through a combination of poor coordination, living out of town and plain retardedness, I've only seen or talked to my friends from there a few times this year. Now one of them is having a party and it's easy enough to get to, should be an easy choice to go or not. [b]Unfortunately I have been feeling shit in both body and mind, bordering on self-diagnosed depression if that wasn't so stupid. Maybe stress, maybe from less social contact, who fucking knows. All that matters is I'm probably going to be a sad sack of shit, drink til I puke and fuck everything up even more, as I usually do. I can't think of any reason I want to go other than feeling as if I should just to be social.[/b] So I dunno, just seems like a stupid situation and I'm not sure why I'm in it.[/QUOTE]
1. Who is responsible for you "feeling" like shit, borderline self-diagnosed depression? You want something changed in your life, then go change it.
2. These are all fears; I would drink myself till I puke, fuck everything up, as I usually do. Take responsibility for your actions; stop drinking yourself till you puke, stop fucking everything up and stop sitting at home crying about it.
Go out, be social and have fun instead of wondering why you shouldn't be having fun.
I've missed out on 4 parties because of stomach problems, I've done nothing but sit inside ever since I broke up from college
this fucking sucks
[QUOTE=Seith;36649164]1. Who is responsible for you "feeling" like shit, borderline self-diagnosed depression? You want something changed in your life, then go change it.
2. These are all fears; I would drink myself till I puke, fuck everything up, as I usually do. Take responsibility for your actions; stop drinking yourself till you puke, stop fucking everything up and stop sitting at home crying about it.
Go out, be social and have fun instead of wondering why you shouldn't be having fun.[/QUOTE]
gotta agree with most of what seith said here. depression usually causes a lack of motivation. you need to push yourself to go out and do things in spite of it.
[QUOTE=Chaotic Lord;36643372]So my girlfriend's father likes to talk. He'll just talk and talk and talk even when he has no clue what he's actually talking about. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy, but it gets annoying when he just repeats himself over and over. How can I tell him to STFU without coming off as a dickhead?[/QUOTE]
Just listen to it and try to be interested, it will surely increase his view of you and think higher of you. It makes you also a lot more sympathetic. The dad of my ex-girlfriend talked also a lot, in a accent that I did not bloody understand. I always understood like a few words in the sentence, it was a pain in the ass.
Just be patient and look for things to relate to in his yammering
[QUOTE=Seith;36649164]1. Who is responsible for you "feeling" like shit, borderline self-diagnosed depression? You want something changed in your life, then go change it.
2. These are all fears; I would drink myself till I puke, fuck everything up, as I usually do. Take responsibility for your actions; stop drinking yourself till you puke, stop fucking everything up and stop sitting at home crying about it.
Go out, be social and have fun instead of wondering why you shouldn't be having fun.[/QUOTE]
Wait, is it that easy!?
Woah, What have I been doing with my life all this time?!
Thanks man, I've been having the same problem and that really changed me!
[editline]6th July 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Devodiere;36648991]I'm gonna prove how retarded I am here but whatever. I'm nearly finished Uni and through a combination of poor coordination, living out of town and plain retardedness, I've only seen or talked to my friends from there a few times this year. Now one of them is having a party and it's easy enough to get to, should be an easy choice to go or not. Unfortunately I have been feeling shit in both body and mind, bordering on self-diagnosed depression if that wasn't so stupid. Maybe stress, maybe from less social contact, who fucking knows. All that matters is I'm probably going to be a sad sack of shit, drink til I puke and fuck everything up even more, as I usually do. I can't think of any reason I want to go other than feeling as if I should just to be social. So I dunno, just seems like a stupid situation and I'm not sure why I'm in it.[/QUOTE]
That's not a stupid situation. That's stress. You're a university student and there are a lot of uni students who feel like that. That's exactly the life of an average student in a fairly demanding university at some point.
The feelings of inadequacy, of not knowing what the future holds. I sometimes feel like that too. And that goes away.
I strongly recommend you to go to the party and mingle. Staying home will only make you dwell in stupid matters and feed that numbness of yours.
What's the worse that could happen if you go. Probably better than staying home being miserable, bored and checking facebook from 5 to 5 minutes.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36654209]Wait, is it that easy!?
Woah, What have I been doing with my life all this time?!
Thanks man, I've been having the same problem and that really changed me![/QUOTE]
yeah, depression is a real condition, but right now you're using it as an excuse. "i can't go out today, i've got depression!" depression depletes your willpower, you just have to force yourself to do things.
there are also tons of simple ways to cope with depression, like fixing your diet, getting regular exercise, and regulating your sleep patterns. ([i]i keep repeating this and nobody ever listens[/i]) again, you have to push yourself to be proactive. if you aren't making the effort to get better then you have no right to use depression as an excuse.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36654384]yeah, depression is a real condition, but right now you're using it as an excuse. "i can't go out today, i've got depression!" depression depletes your willpower, you just have to force yourself to do things.
there are also tons of simple ways to cope with depression, like fixing your diet, getting regular exercise, and regulating your sleep patterns. ([i]i keep repeating this and nobody ever listens[/i]) again, you have to push yourself to be proactive. if you aren't making the effort to get better then you have no right to use depression as an excuse.[/QUOTE]
You're not familiar with sarcasm, are you?
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36654490]You're not familiar with sarcasm, are you?[/QUOTE]
uh?
unless there were multiple levels of sarcasm to your post and its face value was actually literal or something, i'm pretty sure i interpreted it correctly..
you quoted a piece of my text that said exactly the same thing you replied. Your dumb rating implied disaproval. However my advice didn't go to far from yours.
The sarcams was from my reply to seith's comment. Not that I disagree with that "fighting against numbness and seeking your iner strength thing". It's just the careless way he said it. It almost implied that he was depressed because he wanted to.
Thus the sarcasm.
And you find it so absurd for someone to create his own state of mind?
subtlety level: woman
I've a question for you all - It's not really love advice by any means, as I don't really like this girl beyond friends, but I'm afraid she might. She texts me quite often, even when I go ghost, always seems to want to hang out, kinda gets upset when I don't (The ever-dreaded "Whatever" abound), Facetimes a lot, constantly mentions (Okay probably once a day) how 'adorable we are' or 'stop being so adorable' or "we're so cute together", and has been trying to get me to have a so-called 'movie night' with lots of horror movies with her for a while. I relented, and apparently that's happening this Thursday. Now, I'm not entirely sure if she does like me or not - I don't like her nor do I really want to escalate anything - but I'd rather be sure before I end up leading her on, because I've been lead on before and that stuff sucks. Normally I'd say "Yeah, I'm leading her on", but she keeps talking to me about her last relationship and such to that effect, which leads me to believe she thinks of me as naught but a friend. But then, other times, she'll say stuff like "Don't deny our love Dusty" (Yes, my name is Dustin, and no, usually she calls me a different, horrible nickname in place of Dusty), and gets all lovey-dovey. I'm confused as fuu, but I'm not interested in her romantically and I don't want to hurt her at the same time. wut do, FP, wut do.
uh tell her you're not interested??
Well yeah, I have, both subtly and not-so-subtly. I suppose that would mean that she's not interested either; Thanks.
so my boyfriend got on vent after work and mentioned he had been feeling pretty under the weather today, his stomach hurt and he felt pretty dizzy and weak. an hour or two later he went to get a glass of water and came back because he apparently collapsed on the way to the stairs, and he just left for the hospital because he couldn't see straight and has a fever of 102.. i'm pretty fucking worried right now
anyone have any idea what could cause that?
[editline]6th July 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=ramirez!;36656935]I've a question for you all - It's not really love advice by any means, as I don't really like this girl beyond friends, but I'm afraid she might. She texts me quite often, even when I go ghost, always seems to want to hang out, kinda gets upset when I don't (The ever-dreaded "Whatever" abound), Facetimes a lot, constantly mentions (Okay probably once a day) how 'adorable we are' or 'stop being so adorable' or "we're so cute together", and has been trying to get me to have a so-called 'movie night' with lots of horror movies with her for a while. I relented, and apparently that's happening this Thursday. Now, I'm not entirely sure if she does like me or not - I don't like her nor do I really want to escalate anything - but I'd rather be sure before I end up leading her on, because I've been lead on before and that stuff sucks. Normally I'd say "Yeah, I'm leading her on", but she keeps talking to me about her last relationship and such to that effect, which leads me to believe she thinks of me as naught but a friend. But then, other times, she'll say stuff like "Don't deny our love Dusty" (Yes, my name is Dustin, and no, usually she calls me a different, horrible nickname in place of Dusty), and gets all lovey-dovey. I'm confused as fuu, but I'm not interested in her romantically and I don't want to hurt her at the same time. wut do, FP, wut do.[/QUOTE]
she sounds mad creepy. just tell her you're not into her (and be direct about it, girls like that will intentionally misinterpret things to conform to what they want to hear). if she does like you she'll act pissy for a while and eventually move on.
Also yeah you guys were right, my friend isn't avoiding me at all. She just doesn't see my fb messages sometimes.
i dont think he should directly tell her
maybe shes just an outgoing person and thats just the way she acts
it would be weird to just say "by the way i am not interested in you at all!!" seemingly out of the blue
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36657790]i dont think he should directly tell her
maybe shes just an outgoing person and thats just the way she acts
it would be weird to just say "by the way i am not interested in you at all!!" seemingly out of the blue[/QUOTE]
whoops, worded my post a bit badly. it would be pretty awkward if he did that out of the blue, i meant if she made a serious attempt to get with him i guess. i just meant that if she doesn't get the hint and he has to have a serious conversation with her about where they stand then he should make sure there isn't any room left for (mis)interpretation.
sorry, was a bit distracted
though, based on how the girl's acting, to me it seems like you're either the equivalent of a gay friend for her and it didn't occur to her that she's blatantly hitting on you, or she's blatantly hitting on you.
also, bf called, apparently it was food poisoning. he's fine
[QUOTE=Seith;36649164]1. Who is responsible for you "feeling" like shit, borderline self-diagnosed depression? You want something changed in your life, then go change it.
2. These are all fears; I would drink myself till I puke, fuck everything up, as I usually do. Take responsibility for your actions; stop drinking yourself till you puke, stop fucking everything up and stop sitting at home crying about it.
Go out, be social and have fun instead of wondering why you shouldn't be having fun.[/QUOTE]
Now I remember why you're not allowed in the Depression thread, broscience psychoanalysis and a brute-force approach to everything. At least real motivational speakers pretend to understand the complexities and convince you rather than just naming problems.[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36654209]That's not a stupid situation. That's stress. You're a university student and there are a lot of uni students who feel like that. That's exactly the life of an average student in a fairly demanding university at some point.
The feelings of inadequacy, of not knowing what the future holds. I sometimes feel like that too. And that goes away.
I strongly recommend you to go to the party and mingle. Staying home will only make you dwell in stupid matters and feed that numbness of yours.
What's the worse that could happen if you go. Probably better than staying home being miserable, bored and checking facebook from 5 to 5 minutes.[/QUOTE]
Inadequacy my ass. The worst that could happen is what I did same time last year; be a sad sack of shit, drink til I puke and fuck everything up. Whatever the bullshit for feeling worse about not going, if I go and act like a retard that's just going to reinforce the impression that I am one. I'm not normally this stupid, that's the problem.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36654384]yeah, depression is a real condition, but right now you're using it as an excuse. "i can't go out today, i've got depression!" depression depletes your willpower, you just have to force yourself to do things.
there are also tons of simple ways to cope with depression, like fixing your diet, getting regular exercise, and regulating your sleep patterns. ([i]i keep repeating this and nobody ever listens[/i]) again, you have to push yourself to be proactive. if you aren't making the effort to get better then you have no right to use depression as an excuse.[/QUOTE]
You see, depression is a real thing and you've gotta pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Stop eating shit and go for a run fatty, that's probably your first problem. Don't worry if you don't have any willpower, that's what depression does, you just have to have the willpower to get more willpower and solve your own problems, because no-one else gives a shit about you. And don't forget, you have to do everything you don't feel like doing because you're not in a state to be making any decisions.
EVERYBODY has to force themselves to do things to get through life. students who get good grades in school do that by setting aside plenty of time for homework and study and keeping to a schedule. do you think the majority of straight a students find that sort of stuff fun? no, they just exercise SELF CONTROL and FORCE themselves to do it. doing things you don't want to is something necessary to functioning as a human being and depression should not have an impact on doing that.
and have you noticed how the depression thread is just a ton of 14 year old kids crying about how they're thinking about killing themselves because of how bad their lives suck and then COMPLETELY ignoring any sort of advice? if i were seith i'd be thankful to be kicked out of that thread. nobody there cares about actually receiving help, it's just a place to bitch about nonexistent problems.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36658496]EVERYBODY has to force themselves to do things to get through life. students who get good grades in school do that by setting aside plenty of time for homework and study and keeping to a schedule. do you think the majority of straight a students find that sort of stuff fun? no, they just exercise SELF CONTROL and FORCE themselves to do it. doing things you don't want to is something necessary to functioning as a human being and depression should not have an impact on doing that.
and have you noticed how the depression thread is just a ton of 14 year old kids crying about how they're thinking about killing themselves because of how bad their lives suck and then COMPLETELY ignoring any sort of advice? if i were seith i'd be thankful to be kicked out of that thread. nobody there cares about actually receiving help, it's just a place to bitch about nonexistent problems.[/QUOTE]
You completely missed the point, one of personal preference being affected rather than self control bullshit, and I really don't care. I even deliberately dismissed the idea of depression, but because I said the word I still get self-defined alphas with no insight helping. The Depression thread is garbage, that's pretty obvious, but I don't think therapists follow your methods for people who actually have problems.
This was a pretty pointless thing to do, wasn't it? Not sure what I expected, so don't worry about it any more. No more discussing fake depression, my retarded problems or whatever, it's done.
You have now proved yourself to be as worthless as you think you are. When you wipe the tears and sadness that torments your life, I hope you see what we said clearly.
okay everyone needs to be quiet now because you're all saying a bunch of completely wrong stuff about depression
[editline]7th July 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36658496]
and have you noticed how the depression thread is just a ton of 14 year old kids crying about how they're thinking about killing themselves because of how bad their lives suck and then COMPLETELY ignoring any sort of advice?[/QUOTE]
ugh just shut up
Hah did Seith frequent the depression thread
Recipe for disaster right there
yeah that's exactly what a depressed person needs
some israeli hack who barely speaks english to tell them they only need "willpower to create their own state of mind", shit just reading it makes me depressed.
Are these assumptions or facts, as in, you actually saw me telling people to "snap out of it, stop crying" ?
between you and Guy Mannly lies the suicide booth i'm sure.
listen, how about you just not talk about depression at all? i think you'll do everyone a favour, okay?
goes twice for ms. "EVERYBODY has to force themselves to do things to get through life".
why is it seith, that even though everyone in the thread tells you you're living in your own world and have no grasp on reality (and that basically you're full of shit), that you still think the problem is with everyone else and not you?
going out of your way to try and sound smart does not equal anything remotely like actual emotional intelligence
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