• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36667942]sorry but the second half of what you said is completely wrong. depression can have a TON of different neurological causes, what you're essentially suggesting is that every kind of depression is caused by the exact same type of chemical imbalance. yes, they're the most common, but every person's brain is completely different and no single solution is going to help everyone.[/QUOTE] Just because i said most effective, doesn't mean it is the cure all, end all. It just has a higher success rate compared to other antidepressants. Hence why it's the most common and used as a jumping off point. Dude, you're reading comprehension skills are terrible. You're just trying to have an issue with something.
So anyway, sorry for interrupting, today after 5 extenuating hours I got my yellow belt in Krav Maga. After some photo taking and mingling I met a nice girl and we talked a lot there during the green belt fights. I even gave her my number. She's kinda nice. It's kinda funny and unusual to see a girl talking a lot about fighting.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;36667917]also, this is kind of irrelevant but just something i find interesting - there have been psychological studies that show that people will often inaccurately attribute their emotions to certain events. for instance, someone in a bad mood might blame their emotions on something happening to them. like teen drama, for instance - teens sometimes blame their parents' actions for their anger when in reality it's probably just the changes their brains are undergoing that are causing them to be emotional. sometimes our emotions are completely irrelevant to what's actually going on in our lives, we just try to find an external cause of them.[/QUOTE] huh? how could a study accurately say where a mood or emotion was derived admittedly i'm not a psychologist/brain surgeon but it sounds like bullshit that some scientists could say "no no, you aren't upset about the breakup.. it's because you're going through puberty.."
[url]http://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/display.asp?id=7023[/url] [editline]7th July 2012[/editline] also, it seems my wording was unclear. again, i didn't mean that 100% of the time you're inaccurately attributing your emotions to certain stimuli, i meant that in the absence of a clear explanation for our emotions, we will try to find one.
A lot of events can be delayed in their psychological effect, meaning that it becomes very difficult for the mind to find any causality. There are also many defense mechanisms such as repression and projection. The effects are far too common when you start looking for them, like if someone ever flips out about nothing, it is pretty obvious that they aren't mad at what they are pretending to be mad about, it is about something completely different. There is also the effect of misinterpreting the cause of a feeling, which is what the above poster is describing. The brain essentially links up cause and affect according to time. It's like if you eat some kind of food and end up puking for a whole day, your mind is going to be repulsed by that food regardless of whether it was what caused the stomach sickness or not.
why are we talking about depression in this thread start a mass debate or whatever, but it doesn't belong here, shut the fuck up already
a reminder to people looking for advice in this thread: no matter how terrible you think your social skills are, you aren't this guy! [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu52b4Fl9FQ[/media]
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36671329]a reminder to people looking for advice in this thread: no matter how terrible you think your social skills are, you aren't this guy! [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu52b4Fl9FQ[/media][/QUOTE] I watched some of his videos, I feel REALLY bad for him.
I'm going to the movies with this really cute girl on Friday, but I'm [i]extremely[/i] nervous about it. This will be my first 'date' ever and I'm afraid I'm gonna be a nervous wreck and I won't be able to think of anything to talk about. I want to go to the movies with her but everytime I think about it I get really nervous.
you'll be fine :) just think twice before you speak, and don't SOUND nervous.
Go play some video games and don't think about it. It's just a film, not a hand in marriage.
I'm not exactly the best at social situations. This is also the first time I've seen her for over a year. (she lives about 45 minutes away and I can't drive yet)
[QUOTE=psychojake;36671961]I'm not exactly the best at social situations. This is also the first time I've seen her for over a year. (she lives about 45 minutes away and I can't drive yet)[/QUOTE] it's okay to be nervous, just don't show it, you should be ok.
Just thinking about Friday night sends chills throughout my body, I don't know what to do.
[QUOTE=psychojake;36671974]Just thinking about Friday night sends chills throughout my body, I don't know what to do.[/QUOTE] hah what exactly are you nervous about? it's the first date, no expectations and no pressure.
[QUOTE=psychojake;36671974]Just thinking about Friday night sends chills throughout my body, I don't know what to do.[/QUOTE] That's [i]youth[/i] you're feeling Enjoy it!
I think he's depressed
[QUOTE=Protocol7;36671836]just think twice before you speak[/QUOTE] I'm not sure I would agree. I find that if you over-analyze what you are about to say, you often convince yourself that "that's a stupid thing to say", so you don't say it, and you create an awkward silence. Nobody in normal life judges what you say so severely. Even if you think what you are about to say is stupid, just say it, because it's probably not weird or stupid sounding at all, you just think it is because you are over-analyzing.
[QUOTE=rivershark;36675601]I'm not sure I would agree. I find that if you over-analyze what you are about to say, you often convince yourself that "that's a stupid thing to say", so you don't say it, and you create an awkward silence. Nobody in normal life judges what you say so severely. Even if you think what you are about to say is stupid, just say it, because it's probably not weird or stupid sounding at all, you just think it is because you are over-analyzing.[/QUOTE] And if it does turn out to be pretty stupid, laugh it off. We all make mistakes.
[QUOTE=metallics;36675647]And if it does turn out to be pretty stupid, laugh it off. We all make mistakes.[/QUOTE] Exactly. That's just all part of the whole "act naturally" deal.
It's only as big a deal as you make it bro. You might think that sounds pretty obvious, but just repeating that to yourself will probably help a little if you're real nervous. Just stay cool, don't let it get to you, and focus on having a good time.
[QUOTE=Jmir 54;36675162]I think he's depressed[/QUOTE] Or I'm just an awkward 15 year old.
[QUOTE=psychojake;36677881]Or I'm just an awkward 15 year old.[/QUOTE] That explains a lot. Don't worry about it, she's likely to be very nervous also, just crack a joke or something to relieve the tension, you can even admit to being nervous, it might help.
Hi So yesterday I went to the movies with a girl. She's a friend, but I have to say that I feel some sort of mutual attraction. I mean, once we ended up laying in the grass holding hands (we were both drunk though) but nothing else happened because I had to leave. Anyway, during the movie I didn't put my arm around her or anything like that, did I fuck up? [editline]8th July 2012[/editline] If you can't tell, this was my first time going to the movies with just me and a girl, so I didn't know what the fuck to do, aside from watching the movie and a few comments here and there (hopefully that didn't annoy anybody, I know talking in the movies is like a sin)
putting your arm around someone during a movie is pretty cliche. ask her out again.
[QUOTE=metallics;36675647]And if it does turn out to be pretty stupid, laugh it off. We all make mistakes.[/QUOTE] Pretty much this. If you do end up saying something stupid, just say something like, "Well that came out worse than I expected it to" and laugh it off. If something comes out exceptionally stupid, and the girl you're dating isn't a complete prude, you can try a more humorous approach: something like "That was supposed to stay in a thought bubble" or "I wish someone invented a brain-filter to prevent things like that from happening" or something. Basically, just don't beat yourself up when you say something stupid - and you're going to say something stupid, so just get used to the fact now. You're nervous, and being nervous makes you over-analyze, and over-analyzing makes you say stupid stuff (a bit counter-intuitive, that). Guess what, everyone says stupid stuff every once in a while - the girl you're dating is no exception to that rule. [editline]8th July 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=CheeserCrice;36677989]That explains a lot. Don't worry about it, she's likely to be very nervous also, just crack a joke or something to relieve the tension, you can even admit to being nervous, it might help.[/QUOTE] I've decided that since I posted, and my posts are so long, I may as well respond to as many people as I can. This isn't bad advice either. Something you can try is just casually asking something like "are you nervous, too, or is it just me?" Just play it off with a smile and a small laugh. Be jovial and be honest - chances are, if you're half as nervous as you're being here, she's going to notice you're nervous anyways. You can try and hide it best you can, but she'll probably notice. But she probably won't really judge you on it, either. People get nervous. It's natural. I think it'd be in your favor to admit to it and play it off as no big deal. "Yeah I'm a bit nervous, can't help it. Not a big deal." [QUOTE=Hmn30;36678095]Hi So yesterday I went to the movies with a girl. She's a friend, but I have to say that I feel some sort of mutual attraction. I mean, once we ended up laying in the grass holding hands (we were both drunk though) but nothing else happened because I had to leave. Anyway, during the movie I didn't put my arm around her or anything like that, did I fuck up? [editline]8th July 2012[/editline] If you can't tell, this was my first time going to the movies with just me and a girl, so I didn't know what the fuck to do, aside from watching the movie and a few comments here and there (hopefully that didn't annoy anybody, I know talking in the movies is like a sin)[/QUOTE] I don't think you fucked up. Like thisispain said, arms-over-shoulders are pretty cliche. I mean, it may have helped things, but it may just as easily made things worse. All I know, I think you were safer not to. How long have been dating this girl? If it's a first or second time going to a movie with her, I think you're probably safer just ignoring the fact you didn't do it. Go see another film with her, as thisispain suggested. And if the arm-over-shoulder thing, or hand-holding, or hands-bumping-in-popcorn-bucket, or whatever the fuck else happens, then it happens. Respond to it however seems natural. Just go with the flow of things.
[QUOTE=CheeserCrice;36677989]That explains a lot. Don't worry about it, she's likely to be very nervous also, just crack a joke or something to relieve the tension, you can even admit to being nervous, it might help.[/QUOTE] Turn up "KNOCK KNOCK?" "[img]http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n78/GriffieF/Emoticons/emot-byodood.gif[/img]"
I've gotten over most of my nervousness thanks to you guys. I'll go into Friday night looking my best, smelling my best, and embracing the awkward moments. She's never been on a date either. :V
How do I get over a fear of talking on the phone? Every time my phone rings I let it go to voicemail, and if someone asks me to call them, I simply won't do it. If someone calls me, I ignore the call and then text them asking what they want. When I need to call someone like a business, I get someone else to call for me.
[QUOTE=Electroholic;36685173]How do I get over a fear of talking on the phone? Every time my phone rings I let it go to voicemail, and if someone asks me to call them, I simply won't do it. If someone calls me, I ignore the call and then text them asking what they want. When I need to call someone like a business, I get someone else to call for me.[/QUOTE] Why are you afraid to talk on the phone?
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