• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
i had a great time at prom maybe you guys just didn't try to make the best of it?? i mean i wasnt expecting a magical journey but it definitely was a fun night
I guess my prom was just awesome then.. we dont have movies or shit just a 3 course dinner, free (non alc) drinks, and a great band/DJ all night
my towns rich and we had ours up on the top of here [img]http://www.aviewoncities.com/img/boston/kveus3228s.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36776898]my towns rich and we had ours up on the top of here [img]http://www.aviewoncities.com/img/boston/kveus3228s.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] Thats pretty awesome. [editline]15th July 2012[/editline] The only thing that could make that better is having an awesome date
yeah mine was just a friend but we had fun anyway
Lol
[QUOTE=areolop;36775910]Why is it that everyone I talk to about prom always says they had a terrible time and that their date was a bitch. I wasn't even planning on going to prom until peer-pressured into it (because of above) and I ask a really fucking popular and hot girl to prom probably like 3 weeks before the event. She says yes, and we had a wonderful time. Why is it that everyone has a terrible experience with prom and I had a great one and I never planned on going in the first place.[/QUOTE] I never said I had a terrible time at prom. My prom was fucking great. Once I realized my date was an attention whore I ditched her and found a girl whose date wasn't for her either. We ended up hitting it off, dancing, talking, laughing, etc. I ended up making out with her at the end and we felt each other up. Pretty awesome.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36775658] The way I see it (...)[/QUOTE] uh oh red alert horrible advice incoming
[QUOTE=dds98;36777211]I never said I had a terrible time at prom. My prom was fucking great. Once I realized my date was an attention whore I ditched her and found a girl whose date wasn't for her either. We ended up hitting it off, dancing, talking, laughing, etc. I ended up making out with her at the end and we felt each other up. Pretty awesome.[/QUOTE] So... if your friend/love interest is an attention whore, but you hit it off with a pretty cool girl anyway, why aren't you trying to get with her instead of the attention whore?
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;36777618]uh oh red alert horrible advice incoming[/QUOTE] It's not advice, it's his view on it.
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;36777618]uh oh red alert horrible advice incoming[/QUOTE] uh oh dork
[QUOTE=KnowProblem;36777688]So... if your friend/love interest is an attention whore, but you hit it off with a pretty cool girl anyway, why aren't you trying to get with her instead of the attention whore?[/QUOTE]I couldn't get with the pretty cool girl because her date was really pissed about it and I was going to be working with him at the same place over the summer. So I had to apologize. Also, she was really hard to text (using u instead of you etc) and all of my/his friends were calling her a bitch (also her ex-bf called her crazy). I didn't want to deal with all that bullshit. I didn't know her as well as the others so I trusted them in good faith and cut it off. So yeah, I went back to having no options. Still pining after this girl. Does anyone have any suggestions for what I should do with [i]MY[/i] prom date? I'm not going to listen to any advice saying get away from her because I am too attached. Plus, whether I like it or not I'm going to get away from her once we go to our respective universities.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36776543]i had a great time at prom maybe you guys just didn't try to make the best of it?? i mean i wasnt expecting a magical journey but it definitely was a fun night[/QUOTE] I had fun at prom, no date. If you go expecting fireworks then you're going for the wrong reasons.
[QUOTE=Glitch360;36775802]You keep twisting my words. [/QUOTE] I'm not twisting your words. You just didn't get a thing of what I was saying. I'm just saying that what you said isn't entirely true. That's focusing on staying away from her and will still make you think about her. What you really should be focusing on is to learning to be ok with her moving on. That's moving on, it's being ok with people, not cutting all contact. That's a bit radical. It's not about forcing your self to forget, it's about gradually being ok with everything. That is moving on. No need to cut contact or anything. I understand completely where you're getting at and yes, on the first days you should take your time to be away from everybody, not just her. But just for some time. I'm speaking by experience here. I once had a pretty tough breakup we used to fight a lot after the separation. I tried everything to move on. Went from forcing a friendship to cutting all contact and I soon realize I wasn't happy of any of the permanent solutions. This happens for everybody. You can't put permanent solutions on people like cutting contact. Forgetting is ridiculous cause you won't forget people. Being away from people will only make you miss them and be more curious about what they're doing without you. If you're moving on to other girls or having no girl to forget, you'd just be fooling yourself. You're just going to replace that feeling and in the end when things stop working out with your new girl you'll be in the shitzone again. Believe me. The way I see it from personal experience is this. It's not a matter of if you should or shouldn't be seeing, speaking or watching her on FB, it's a matter of you moving on and learning to be ok with everything without looking back, regardless of everything. Focusing on yourself and improving yourself. That's the number 1 priority. Cutting contact is just mental exercise. In my case the breakup was a disaster, but after some years we started talking again and now we're friends. I'm ok with her having a boyfriend, she's ok with me having relationships, we still meet and I'm quite content with the situation. Don't have even a trace of romantic feelings for her. Once again. I'm not saying you're completely wrong. It was just the way you put it. You made it sound like it was just a matter of cutting contact when it's not just that. But yes, you need to stop being available but just as a mental exercise to start [I]forcing[/I] yourself to accept you have to move on. I hope I'm being clear this time.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;36779995]It's not about forcing your self to forget, it's about gradually being ok with everything. That is moving on. The way I see it from personal experience is this. It's not a matter of if you should or shouldn't be seeing, speaking or watching her on FB, it's a matter of you moving on and learning to be ok with everything without looking back, regardless of everything. Focusing on yourself and improving yourself. That's the number 1 priority. Cutting contact is just mental exercise.[/QUOTE] This I agree with. However, cutting contact doesn't mean totally and permanently burning all your bridges. Of course it's important to come to terms with how you feel and deal with those emotions in a mature manner, but it can just get complicated and messy if you're keeping someone around which, let's face it, you're probably missing and still wanting to be with (not saying you specifically just people who have recently come out of a relationship). It's perfectly logical to say that staying close to someone that you are trying to 'get over' is just going to prolong the healing period, distracting you from what we both agree on is the first priority: Investing in, learning about, and ultimately improving yourself. Take the girl out of the picture, give yourselves both the time and space you need to figure out how to be single again, and you're forcing your focus onto yourself. Sure, you'll still miss her, and it'll lead to you thinking about her almost endlessly and worrying about if she's doing this or that, questioning if she's talking to x or seeing z, whatever, but you're going to have those concerns anyway coming out of a relationship, and the answers to those questions are going to do [B]absolutely nothing[/B] to help you get over her, and are only going to make it take longer and hurt more. You'll know you've made it far enough to befriend her again once those concerns fade away. Start talking to her any sooner and you're just making it harder on yourself. Oh and please don't advise someone to 'find someone else' to distract them from how they're really feeling. I agree with you on that as well, Behemoth. Finding or fucking another person for the sole reason of helping yourself move on or leading someone to believe you actually consider them as anything more than a distraction is probably the most selfish and self-destructive thing you could do for yourself coming out of a serious, long-term relationship. You need this time to figure yourself out and come to terms with what you're feeling and why, not to numb yourself with other women. Talk to more people, sure, spend time with your friends and make new connections and learn more about yourself and the people around you, but don't drag unsuspecting women into your problems, not until you've truly understood what it means to be independent.
I had an interesting experience last night. I pulled a girl that I used to like aside at this festival we were at to talk to her. I basically just told her that I used to like her, then I stopped and that the last couple of days had been really hard on me because we were hanging out so much and I said to her, "I just need you to say to my face that you don't feel the same way, so that you can put me out of my misery and I can be happy again." And she did it. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I'm so glad I did it, because it means we can be friends again.
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;36777618]uh oh red alert horrible advice incoming[/QUOTE] Sorry about this was in a bad mood or something I guess, been sleeping like absolute shit lately. Though I still disagree completely with the post I replied to
[QUOTE='[CWG]RustySpannerz;36781574']I had an interesting experience last night. I pulled a girl that I used to like aside at this festival we were at to talk to her. I basically just told her that I used to like her, then I stopped and that the last couple of days had been really hard on me because we were hanging out so much and I said to her, "I just need you to say to my face that you don't feel the same way, so that you can put me out of my misery and I can be happy again." And she did it. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I'm so glad I did it, because it means we can be friends again.[/QUOTE] Aw that sounds crap, I bet a lot of people should be doing that but don't because they're worried about what the answer might be.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;36776898]my towns rich and we had ours up on the top of here [img]http://www.aviewoncities.com/img/boston/kveus3228s.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] You know, I never seem to realize the fact that my prom was held in one of the prestigious hotels in Atlanta. I forget how many other schools are stuck hosting theirs in a gym or auditorium. :v:
[QUOTE=MakoSkyDub;36781921]Sorry about this was in a bad mood or something I guess, been sleeping like absolute shit lately. Though I still disagree completely with the post I replied to[/QUOTE] Yeah, should have thought of that earlier instead of going back with your word and trying to avoid looking silly. You seem to be the guy who's always calling bullshit on others. "I disagree", "that's bullshit" or "that's biased" or whatever suits you at the moment. Thing is I never see you justifying the reasons for it. You have a lot to say when it comes to telling others are wrong but I don't see you actually being argumentative about what you think of other people's advice. Might as well think before commenting, no? You've been telling me I'm wrong for a few posts now but I don't see you explaining or presenting an argument. That "i disagree" , represents nothing without support. You're just being disagreeable.
Alright you guys, I'm in need of some serious suggestions here. To give you some backstory [quote] Alright, so about a year and a half ago, I broke it off with my girlfriend of several months. There were some serious clashes in the relationship regarding our personalities, and there were aspects of her personality in particular that... well, kind of freaked me out. Looking back, I realize that I didn't express myself nearly as well as I should have, and that she might not have been as weird or crazy as I made things out to be because I didn't establish boundaries in the relationship, simply because this was back before I knew HOW to. That being said, the breakup was very nasty, there were some terrible miscommunications, and I left the relationship with her thinking that I had grown disgusted with her and used her physically.[/quote] That all being said, we've started to chat a little bit on facebook through status updates (I know, it's fucking ridiculous and shouldn't even count as communication), but for the most part [b]I have no idea how to start a conversation with her regarding getting back to talking to each other and maybe being friends[/b]. That's simply how BAD I feel about the breakup. Any suggestions?
why do you wanna start talking to her again?
Because I feel bad about how poorly the breakup went, and looking back she was actually a pretty interesting person to be with. Is this a bad idea?
no you just need to be straight-up about what you want to accomplish. if you just want to talk to her again because you feel bad about the break-up you should know that not everyone feels the need to talk about a short relationship that ended more than a year ago. if you want to get back with her, you should seriously think and figure out exactly why you broke up before you even remotely try anything. from personal experience, something like this has the huge potential to explode in your face.
Ok so im going to legitimatly ask this girl out when i get back from Colorado. Should i just go to her and go "hey, you wanna go out sometime" or something more
[QUOTE=areolop;36787715]Ok so im going to legitimatly ask this girl out when i get back from Colorado. Should i just go to her and go "hey, you wanna go out sometime" or something more[/QUOTE] hey wanna go see a movie hey wanna go get coffee with me sometime hey there's this concert going on at x and such, wanna come with me hey how about you and I go out to eat at blah blah blah pretty simple stuff.
I feel like shit because of some stuff that happened today, I don't think i've ever felt this bad in a while; I'm tempted to go to the gas station and buy myself a pack of smokes even though i quit a few months go. Doesn't help that I'll only be able to chill with my friends once tomorrow, as after that they'll be leaving for vacation/volunteering to be helpers at a kids camp. I won't see them until next month, which sucks because I have nothing to do, so i'll be sitting on my ass the entire time. What do?
I think I'm feelin' some sparks with [I]Work Girl[/I] (working title), I am! She stayed twenty minutes past her shift ending, and we were talking and joking around the whole time. She told me that she had had to unclog one of the guests' toilet tonight, and I told her to get comfortable with it, because handling other peoples' crap is about 90% of life, which she found pretty funny. I am just too cool for school. I think it's time to take this relationship to the next level. I'm gonna get crazy-bold, and [I]add her on Facebook[/I]. Somebody stop me, I'm gettin' crazy with these big plays!
[QUOTE=Hmn30;36700320]christ man, change your title [editline]9th July 2012[/editline] Ok im glad that I read your post, gave me a good laugh how old is the kid? also, back to the movie questions: when watching the movie she "awww'd" out of a couple being cure during the film a few times and I felt bad because I didn't have the courage to put my arm around her or whatever. so is it just me, or were those the perfect opportunities to put my arm around her or try anything (i dont think kissing would've worked at that point though)[/QUOTE] soo I made out with the girl at a house party, and she's coming to my house tomorrow to see a movie while she said she didnt want to to end only as a one night stand, i dont know what to do now, since we were both drunk at the time, and we really havent talked about it since. so should we talk about it tomorrow or should i try to do something right off the bat?
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;36790688]I think I'm feelin' some sparks with [I]Work Girl[/I] (working title), I am! She stayed twenty minutes past her shift ending, and we were talking and joking around the whole time. She told me that she had had to unclog one of the guests' toilet tonight, and I told her to get comfortable with it, because handling other peoples' crap is about 90% of life, which she found pretty funny. I am just too cool for school. I think it's time to take this relationship to the next level. I'm gonna get crazy-bold, and [I]add her on Facebook[/I]. Somebody stop me, I'm gettin' crazy with these big plays![/QUOTE] It's a white knuckle thrill ride of love.
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.