• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
the fact that you actually asked the boyfriend if he was going to spend time with her is so stupid and insulting i kinda hope you're just posting all this dumb shit to get a ruse out of us. you probably think you're upholding some sort of cosmic justice by constantly insulting this dude and whispering "hes not good enough.." into his girlfriend's ear but in reality you're just a lonely weasel trying to fuck up someone else's relationship because you don't have your own to worry about
Ahaha "Super Friendly" they said. "Advice" they said. Common, guys I think he gets the public opinion there really is no reason to keep ripping him a new one about it.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;36983820]Ahaha "Super Friendly" they said. "Advice" they said. Common, guys I think he gets the public opinion there really is no reason to keep ripping him a new one about it.[/QUOTE] He shouldn't post in an advice thread if he doesn't want any. Since what he is doing is seen as very stupid, of course he is going to get negative opinion. As long as he doesn't come back and update his progress then they will stop.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;36983820]Ahaha "Super Friendly" they said. "Advice" they said. Common, guys I think he gets the public opinion there really is no reason to keep ripping him a new one about it.[/QUOTE] But he keeps coming back And never changes
[QUOTE=G3rman;36983947]He shouldn't post in an advice thread if he doesn't want any. Since what he is doing is seen as very stupid, of course he is going to get negative opinion. As long as he doesn't come back and update his progress then they will stop.[/QUOTE] I don't mean re-stating it I mean more that the whole thread, almost every visitor seems to feel the need to stop and tell him the same thing he was just told 20 times in the last 20 posts. Seems a little redundant. Edit: I'll just accept no one agrees with this and stop posting now then, No need to tell me 50 times too :P
[QUOTE=Rhenae;36984020]I don't mean re-stating it I mean more that the whole thread, almost every visitor seems to feel the need to stop and tell him the same thing he was just told 20 times in the last 20 posts. Seems a little redundant.[/QUOTE] Just because its the same meaning, everyone has their right to express their own opinion on it regardless if its already been said. An overwhelming negative notion is better than one negative notion at showing support.
He's getting redundant advice because he's making redundant statements and asking redundant questions. It's a cycle of redundancy. [editline]28th July 2012[/editline] It's a viscious cycle of redudancy!
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;36981178]Finally someone who doesn't reply to my posts with red-eyed rage and loathing. I'm fair to admit that what I'm doing is not the purest of deeds, but all you people act like I'm oblivious to it. Yes I am taking advantage of the their situation. The feelings I had towards her never left, but I adapted the mindset of that if the feeling isn't mutual then it should not have any worth. I really started taking advantage of the whole situation with making her see me in a better light then before with the aid of her boyfriend being a total ass when it comes to the hard part of a relationship.[/QUOTE] Hey guy. I've done what you're trying to do. BDA is right; there is no fairytale ending. It just makes everyone involved miserable, and I regret what I did more than anything I've ever done.
The thing is, he doesn't really ever get it. How many times has he come in and posted about the same fucking awkward, scheming shit he always seems to be getting involved in, and then thinking it's going to work and that he, "knows what he's doing." Roast, I think you need to stop pursuing this girl, and really any other girl for a while, and take a step back and re-evaluate yourself and what you're doing, and what exactly you want from the people you try and meet. I think that'd benefit you a lot more than dabbling in other people's business and making assumptions about people you don't really know that well at all. Saying that though, I think as a whole this thread (and the other one) and the people who choose to contribute them should be wary of letting their own personal opinions and/or values get [I]too[/I] involved with their replies and their advice, especially when it comes to 'moral' questions like jealously or cheating or people in relationships and so on, and also especially if it's being given out as if it's the absolute truth without being based on any (or very little) personal experience. Saying shit like, "if she's been in a threesome before meeting you then she's prone to cheating on you now," or, "long-distance relationships are bound to fail," or, "she's dating numerous guys? She's a slut and isn't worth your time," are fucking awful things to say about people you don't know the first thing about, and they often propagate skewed or misguided ideas on what are usually very subjective matters. If you don't have experience on a matter, please, please, PLEASE don't think it's helpful to just regurgitate some shit you saw some other member post before, or something you read on AskMen or Men's Health or some other trash. I'm not saying everyone should sit back and let the ~gurus~ deal with everything, of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but if that's all it is, then present it as that: YOUR opinion, nothing more. If you've been cheated on by a girl, or had a bad experience with a long-distance relationship, or whatever else it is, your ONLY responsibility is to learn from [b]your[/b] own experience and understand how [b]you[/b] feel about it and what it means to [b]your[/b] own values and ideals, and if you choose to, take that understanding and offer it to another person as a different perspective on their situation -- nothing more. You do not however have any right whatsoever to take that 'understanding' and then jump on a forum like this and preach it as gospel, and tell a hundred other guys that all women are cheating, lying whores, or that guys shouldn't ever try and get involved with a girl at all if she says she has a boyfriend, and anyone that does is a selfish piece of shit that doesn't deserve anything. Every situation is different, everyone is entitled to their own desires and opinions, and this type of moral-shaming isn't going to help anyone here and if anything, it's bound to further entrench people in their own ideas (which, yes, can sometimes be rather flawed or skewed, I just think a more mature discussion could arise from such cases). Personally, yes, I think what Sunday_Roast is trying to do is awkward and misguided, and is very unlikely to work out in his favour, but that's all I'm in a position to say. We shouldn't be here to moralize what other people choose to believe or what they want simply because it's something we don't agree with or wouldn't do ourselves. Of course, there's a case every now and then when someone has some [I]really[/I] warped ideas, but I just feel there are better ways of approaching these cases than erupting into a circle-jerk over why person x is a fucking y for trying z, y'know. That post was longer than intended and I doubt many people will read all of it but w/e it's just something I've been noticing more in these threads recently. [B]Tl;dr[/B]: Don't preach your opinion or advice as if it's the absolute truth, especially if it's based on limited or no actual experience. Inversely, people receiving advice need to realize that in the end that's all they're getting: the opinions of people that barely know them at all. Be open to the opinions of others, but ultimately you should be honest with yourself and your own desires, and understand why those desires are what they are. If they're coming from a genuine place, then you shouldn't feel ashamed of them. If they're arising out of negative experiences or ill-informed ideas, then it's your responsibility to deal with that maturely and honestly, rather than propagating them or projecting them onto other people. JUST, SAYING.
you guys take yourselves way too seriously
I beg to differ: none of you take me anywhere near seriously enough. Let's all start paying a little more attention to BDA. [editline]29th July 2012[/editline] BY THE BY, Work Girl just left from our second date. Another [I]lovely[/I] evening. We watched Danny Boyle's [I]Sunshine,[/I] but we talked through most of it. Good times for BDA, happy days for BDA! I guess we ought to give it a few days before our next date, though, I don't want to make her feel smothered or anything. [editline]29th July 2012[/editline] Is that a thing?
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;36986266] [editline]29th July 2012[/editline] Is that a thing?[/QUOTE] Both with a literal and figurative pillow, yes.
[QUOTE=Mon;36985464]you guys take yourselves way too seriously[/QUOTE] Elaborate? I think if there are people who have never had themselves or their issues "taken seriously" before, then they should feel comfortable having somewhere like this to talk about them.
Finally met up with this girl at work, mostly small talk, but it was a start. I was going to offer to buy a milkshake, but I had no opportunity and had to go. Very happy with the outcome of the day though, despite being very minor.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;36984964]*Long and good post to put an end to the "circle-jerk"*[/QUOTE] I think I said this earlier. I knew that my posting would get a lot of back-lash from this thread. I also knew that I would say the least that I have been scheming to say the least. But I wanted to hear some backlash, because my close friends haven't given me any. Like my best friend and his girlfriend went from "you should just wait for them to fall apart by themselves" to "he doesn't deserve a girlfriend" and "when are you going to talk to her?". Have to admit that I got confused by their change of tone. But enough with me. P.S. I do think that there should be more BDA in this thread. His posts are a thrill to read due to his eccentric delivery.
Got a pretty annoying situation here.. So there is this girl that i know for some time already, i used to go to her house a lot since i was best friends with her brother. But a year ago on school she stepped towards me and said if i was from her old school and from there it started to know her again, she was always eating with some other guys from her class but from time to time she came to our table (With me and 2 other friends) to just sit and talk. Fast forward to 2 days ago she skype'd me if i wanted to go to The Efteling (Dutch themepark) and of course i said yes because why the fuck not, so i was there with 7 other guys who were also from my school and we had a great time their, there was one guy in the group who had the same humor as i had so we went all crazy in the park by impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger and do other dumb stuff (They found us hilarious so no problem there) and from that moment she kinda separated the rest from me mostly, things like walking next to me all the time, when going into stuff like rollercoasters and shit she always wanted to sit next to me and i hugged and teased her the entire day. Now from that you could already tell that she liked me i guess but the thing that bothers me is that she is like that to everyone. However she hates it when people touch her, however in the park she said to me 'I hate it when people touch me, but i don't know but i don't mind if you do it' but she said that in a rather bored tone. She also visits gamers a lot that she knows for like 4-5 days (That she met on Trackmania United) and takes the car to visit them, all the said is that she likes to visit people just to play games and shit. However it happened that some other guy slept at her place (In her room) and when we were alone she said that she finds it 'sad' that people like that never kissed before and that she then just takes it on the mouth out of nowhere so they would at least have kissed (Most of the folks are the kinda 'Forever Alone' types anyway) That kinda made my hopes up that she would erh.. Do the same to me and i thought it would actually happen since when i said that the Droomvlucht (Peaceful and beautiful attraction and that would be the last ride we would all go into before going home) was some kind of romantic and pretty dark ride and once i said that she sorta instantly said 'I want to sit next to you', when i line my hopes were kinda going up for that reason and after waiting 80 minutes (Efteling is always busy as fuck) we went in the ride and till my surprise it was not how i wanted the ride to be since there were light effects all over the fucking place and everyone could see you. In the ride she never really looked in my way but she sorta tried to get close to me but that was only the parts where it started to get dark (And seconds later the lights effects would go on instantly) Now i might explained it that it looks like she likes me but she is always nice to everyone and she well yeah, kisses everyone as well and out of that day she never talks to me or anything or invites me to anything. Soon she is coming to my place since she got some issues with her iPhone. Is there anything i could do just to make sure she likes me or not? I'm a pretty awkward type so its not like i would say it straight away if she likes me yes or no. Excuse me if there are any grammar errors..
I find that the easiest and most effective way of finding out whether or not somebody is interested in you is asking them. I know it might seem like a bold move, but it'll save you the trouble and awkwardness of beating around the bush for God knows how long! If she's interested in you, she won't become less interested in you if you ask her about it. However, if she's interested in you, but senses that you're never going to make a move, or believes that you're not returning her feelings, then she'll most likely just move on! It is best to just be all, "yo, lady, do you dig me or what?" Maybe not exactly in those words, though.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;36994144]I find that the easiest and most effective way of finding out whether or not somebody is interested in you is asking them. I know it might seem like a bold move, but it'll save you the trouble and awkwardness of beating around the bush for God knows how long! If she's interested in you, she won't become less interested in you if you ask her about it. However, if she's interested in you, but senses that you're never going to make a move, or believes that you're not returning her feelings, then she'll most likely just move on! It is best to just be all, "yo, lady, do you dig me or what?" Maybe not exactly in those words, though.[/QUOTE] Yeah i guess saying it in a relaxing way would do. Shall ask her then once she comes over to my place
Just invite her to a date, man. See where things go from there! It's not something you need to do a lot of stressing about, because it's not such of a much, you know?
[QUOTE=darth-veger;36993752] She also visits gamers a lot that she knows for like 4-5 days (That she met on Trackmania United) and takes the car to visit them, all the said is that she likes to visit people just to play games and shit. However it happened that some other guy slept at her place (In her room) and when we were alone she said that she finds it 'sad' that people like that never kissed before and that she then just takes it on the mouth out of nowhere so they would at least have kissed (Most of the folks are the kinda 'Forever Alone' types anyway)[/QUOTE] This eh This would worry me a bit
[QUOTE=Hmn30;36949314]soo, this girl im kind of dating says that she's really bad and awkward with the whole relationship stuff, like holding hands and kissing and shit, so she says we should take it slow Ive never been in a relationship before, is there anything I could do to make her feel "safe" and that it's ok to do those things? [editline]26th July 2012[/editline] i mean, we've kissed before but we were both drunk; she complains that she's awkward at it while sober (ill probably be the same too, but oh well)[/QUOTE] Sorry for bumping my question again, but no one answered and I don't want to get too anxious over this, since it's my first relationship and I don't want to fuck it up so fast
I'm too lonely. I have friends to hangout...I go out every evening. I just don't have that person to talk to whenever I want. Like right now... So I go whine about it here. I really want someone to be with me all the time, where ever I go. I don't want to be home, I want to be outside, but I can't be always because I waste to much money, and I'm not really a rich guy :D I cant even go eat to a restaurant alone...I just need someone to talk with. Most of the girls think im annoying, some say I would be a really good boyfriend. I though I might have found one...but she's back with her ex again...5th time...because the guy is such a jerk and always cheats on her...but I gave up upon her, no one made me feel so happy like she did, she's just the one...she also said a month ago that she is an idiot for not being with me, a day ago we agreed to go out, I would pick her up and we would hang out all day long, then yesterday evening she bumped into her ex, and I gave up because they are back together again...now she's gone...
[QUOTE=mr.sofa;36998675]I'm too lonely. I have friends to hangout...I go out every evening. I just don't have that person to talk to whenever I want. Like right now... So I go whine about it here. I really want someone to be with me all the time, where ever I go. I don't want to be home, I want to be outside, but I can't be always because I waste to much money, and I'm not really a rich guy :D I cant even go eat to a restaurant alone...I just need someone to talk with. Most of the girls think im annoying, some say I would be a really good boyfriend. I though I might have found one...but she's back with her ex again...5th time...because the guy is such a jerk and always cheats on her...but I gave up upon her, no one made me feel so happy like she did, she's just the one...she also said a month ago that she is an idiot for not being with me, a day ago we agreed to go out, I would pick her up and we would hang out all day long, then yesterday evening she bumped into her ex, and I gave up because they are back together again...now she's gone...[/QUOTE] call me a cynic but i seriously doubt she's "the one" given that she's flaky as all fuark. seriously, you'll find someone else.
Posted this in the Depression thread, but I feel this thread would be more fitting now that I've calmed down about it. In short, Spent an amazing day with this girl last Friday, then suddenly she pulls the silent treatment on me for this whole week. I texted her once a few days after, to no response. I have no idea what I could've done that might have pissed her off. It's been taking its toll on me, but I've been making my best effort to not text her again, or make myself look like a blubbering idiot, begging for forgiveness. However, I'd like to hear some opinions on the situation.
[QUOTE=Fulsam;36999297]Posted this in the Depression thread, but I feel this thread would be more fitting now that I've calmed down about it. In short, Spent an amazing day with this girl last Friday, then suddenly she pulls the silent treatment on me for this whole week. I texted her once a few days after, to no response. I have no idea what I could've done that might have pissed her off. It's been taking its toll on me, but I've been making my best effort to not text her again, or make myself look like a blubbering idiot, begging for forgiveness. However, I'd like to hear some opinions on the situation.[/QUOTE] leave her be until you see her in person again. if you persist electronically you'll be a pest. when you do see her again, though, don't ask her why she didn't reply to your messages or anything like that. just comment on how you haven't seen her and that you'd like to catch up. you'll get a clear enough answer right there.
[QUOTE=BoysLightUp;36998856]call me a cynic but i seriously doubt she's "the one" given that she's flaky as all fuark. seriously, you'll find someone else.[/QUOTE] Yea shes not but we get along soooo good :S I know her since december last year and this is the first time I had an argue with her.. And what does flaky as all fuark mean? :D
It means that you should stop trying to get with her and move on.
just leave it be
[QUOTE=Hmn30;36997977]Sorry for bumping my question again, but no one answered and I don't want to get too anxious over this, since it's my first relationship and I don't want to fuck it up so fast[/QUOTE] Talk to her about it, let her know that you don't care how silly or awkward she might be and that you are willing to take the relationship at a pace she will be comfortable with. Don't overstep your bounds but always try subtle attempts at furthering the relationship; putting an arm around her at the movies, grabbing her hand when walking together and other stuff. Basically just let her know and remind her that you are interested in her physically too, but show her you are willing to do it in the most comfortable fashion.
I was unsure at first on whether I should bother posting in this thread. However, I'm in a sticky situation enough to require help. So, I'll start this from the top: This girl and I are both in a guild for the game GW2. We ended up playing the BWE3 together, got to know each other, we seemed to click. After that I just started talking to her on the forums (not these forums, the guild ones) and eventually got her Facebook and all that stuff. While talking we figured out how close we lived to one another, at least an hour apart. That's when I realized how I might actually be able to visit her in person, yet, I didn't want to come off as some sort of creeper or stalker if I ever did ask her. I also considered asking for her phone number at some point. Now, the problems I'm having currently are that we've only been talking for only a week at most. Also, there is quite an age difference. She is 24 years old, and I'm 18. She's been willing to talk to me though when it comes to the internet she could just be chatting with me from just a social standpoint, and not taking anything too seriously. I'm at a bit of a loss on what to do. Any suggestions?
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