• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37110149]Except I didn't so why are you assuming I am going to "always blame it all on the being in the friend zone"[/QUOTE] because that's the definition of friend zone. it's the mentality that once a girl has identified you as a "friend" there's no changing that and you're inevitably stuck in that zone.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37110332]because that's the definition of friend zone. it's the mentality that once a girl has identified you as a "friend" there's no changing that and you're inevitably stuck in that zone.[/QUOTE] Oh, woops. Misunderstood the definition, should have been "turned down" then. Although it's unlikely we will ever go out considering she's going to a different university. Would explain Autumn's reaction, my bad.
if she's going to a different university i wouldn't feel too bad about being turned down, long distance relationships are hard work to keep going, especially in the first year of going to university
Going to university is the time when our whole concept of relationship and engagement completely changes. It's like everything we knew about what a relationship was doesn't matter anymore. All that easiness and safety through comfort, that ilusion of a solid relationship is nothing but a nimble feeling once we get on with our lives either if its to work or to go study some place else. I don't know why, but as years pass by in university you somehow start looking for other types of feelings and meaning in a relationship. Looking back I kinda see all my high school relationships and all the notions of love and safety completely childish compared to now. And it's been like 3 years since I left high school. I wonder if I'm the only one feeling this way.
[QUOTE=Autumn;37110479]if she's going to a different university i wouldn't feel too bad about being turned down, long distance relationships are hard work to keep going, especially in the first year of going to university[/QUOTE] Makes sense. Although annoyingly now I'll have to wait until October for a decent opportunity to get to know more girls. Which is good twofold, because I have more female than male friends; I find their company, on average, more interesting.
Aww yeah, got a date.
The height disparity between my girlfriend and I makes standing kisses a little awkward. I kinda have to bend over and hunch a little bit, and she to tippy toe and lean back a little, to compensate. Other than that, everything is going very well.
Well I have quite a problem on my hands, and I'm not really experienced enough to be able to handle this so I hope you guys could help me. There is this girl, we have known each other for 3 or 4 months and we are quite close, I never really liked her until about a month ago but she said that she wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone yet after her previous boyfriend dumped her. I like her quite a bit now, I would ask her out but the problem is she likes my best friend. They get along really well and stuff and it's good to see her happy, the thing is my best friend broke her heart twice, he dumped her after going out with her for a week because he liked someone else and then he basically told her a week later that he doesn't like her. Well she still likes him and now he likes her again. She did say though that she is also looking to play around so who knows. Do you think I should just try and move on? Or do you still think I have a chance? If so could you give me some tips as I am not really that well experienced with this.
just ask her out
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;37118828]Well I have quite a problem on my hands, and I'm not really experienced enough to be able to handle this so I hope you guys could help me. There is this girl, we have known each other for 3 or 4 months and we are quite close, I never really liked her until about a month ago but she said that she wasn't ready for a relationship with anyone yet after her previous boyfriend dumped her. I like her quite a bit now, I would ask her out but the problem is she likes my best friend. They get along really well and stuff and it's good to see her happy, the thing is my best friend broke her heart twice, he dumped her after going out with her for a week because he liked someone else and then he basically told her a week later that he doesn't like her. Well she still likes him and now he likes her again. She did say though that she is also looking to play around so who knows. Do you think I should just try and move on? Or do you still think I have a chance? If so could you give me some tips as I am not really that well experienced with this.[/QUOTE] Let go, i know it sucks. I literally ended up in the same situation as you, ended up asking her out though. I got rejected, now my best friend is always on edge whenever i'm around, and i don't even talk to the girl i had a crush on anymore. Just let go, and be friends with her. Much better than what i ended up with. .___.
[QUOTE=thisispain;37118860]just ask her out[/QUOTE] But she's made it pretty clear to me that she likes my best friend, though she doesn't know that I like her. I'm stuck between asking her out or not, I'm meeting up with her tomorrow anyway so I'll just see how things pan out.
i asked out my friend and it was the greatest act of my life, after years we're still stuck like glue. the other "suitor" learned to accept it and found someone else. ask her out already
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;37118931]But she's made it pretty clear to me that she likes my best friend, though she doesn't know that I like her. I'm stuck between asking her out or not, I'm meeting up with her tomorrow anyway so I'll just see how things pan out.[/QUOTE] [img]http://teamgettingfit.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/nike1.jpg[/img]
Before you read any of this, know that I have NEVER been in a relationship before. While I have seen plenty of people around me that do of who I take mind notes. Ever since the beginning of this year's school period, my interest in a person I've known for almost 5 years has grown bigger - a somewhat crush, if you will. I like her more, but that doesn't seem to be mutual. A little after summer break began, she told me she has a HUGE crush on a friend I've known since I was really young. Let's call him John. Curious, I asked John if he likes my crush. He admits that he indeed does like her. She asked me what John thinks about her and I told everything being honest. Ever since that day they've been coming closer and closer to each other, while all I've been is growing more depressed and, you could say, jealous. Seeing my best friend hook up with my only crush in a long time is heart-breaking. Well, or so I've thought. A little later I've met two sisters from the neighboring city that come stay here during summer break. John seems to also like one of the sisters more than my crush, which shows me opportunity. While they both don't seem anything angry or annoyed that their relationship hasn't lasted long, John is hoping to admit his feelings to the younger sister eventually. Now, back to the crush. Ever since the day John and her lost serious feelings for each other, I decided to show contact with her more. We talked via phone, Skype and went outside a lot. Through almost all the (close to ending) summer she hasn't shown any feelings for me. Now, I don't have any problems with companionship - it's something that we had for all those 5 years. But my feelings for her just wanted more. Now, I eventually grew the balls and started being subtle and hinting at what I feel for her at what opportunity I can find that does not include our friends laughing each others' asses off. She HAS noticed it but doesn't seem that interested in more than just friendship. While I haven't given up to try more, I've come to terms that she won't go past the point of friendship. While she does admit that she thinks I am a nice, friendly and cute guy, when I try to ask her out to go out with me, and when we do, she always asks me who else we should invite. If I say we should stay alone and just talk, she says she doesn't really want to. I'm not giving up this easily, though. I talk to her everyday, still. Anyone have some advice? (I will murder the person who says ask her out goddammit)
my advice would be to give it up for a while. still be friends with her, but stop asking her to hang out with you.
[QUOTE=thisispain;37118860]just ask her out[/QUOTE] this hardly applies to his situation, it has more to do with his relationship to his friend than to the girl?? did you read it?
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;37121861]my advice would be to give it up for a while. still be friends with her, but stop asking her to hang out with you.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I've stopped that a while ago (the previous post was a copy-paste from a week since I'm a lazy bastard) . The past few days she does come to me first and hang out with me for 5 minutes before calling our other friends. I'm already sold for friendship since that's enough. Thanks for the advice, I guess it's just not meant to be.
So, question. I've got almost 2 months 'till I go to Uni, but I'd like to see if I could meet someone before that. Considering the other day I'd rather not ask out any of my female friends (for the time being anyway). If I were to look for more educated/bookish women, where would be a good place to start? I've been trying to go to the library more often but while it's a possibility, I don't see many women going there that often.
honestly, i wouldn't recommend it. 2 months is a very short amount of time, especially if you're planning to meet someone properly, potentially looking for a relationship. if you do find someone then you're likely to end up sad when you go off to university, or try to make it a LDR (which is difficult enough, but especially if you haven't already spent much time together) i'd just find something better to do for the next 8/9 weeks, maybe try finding some people who are going to your uni on facebook and trying to make connections that way
[QUOTE=Autumn;37125502]honestly, i wouldn't recommend it. 2 months is a very short amount of time, especially if you're planning to meet someone properly, potentially looking for a relationship. if you do find someone then you're likely to end up sad when you go off to university, or try to make it a LDR (which is difficult enough, but especially if you haven't already spent much time together) i'd just find something better to do for the next 8/9 weeks, maybe try finding some people who are going to your uni on facebook and trying to make connections that way[/QUOTE] That makes sense, but I'm assuming that I'll still have time for a relationship when I'm at uni and they won't be going away (most of my friends are, hence why I'm not going to ask them).
wait, are you going to uni in your home town?
[QUOTE=Autumn;37125634]wait, are you going to uni in your home town?[/QUOTE] Apparently that's a popular thing around there.
ah! fair enough then as for finding educated/bookish women, i don't think there's anywhere specific that they're going to hang out. the library idea is cute but not really realistic, and besides, i'd imagine the majority of women that do go there aren't there waiting to be asked out. just generally keep your eye out around uni, maybe try joining some societies
[QUOTE=Autumn;37125702]ah! fair enough then as for finding educated/bookish women, i don't think there's anywhere specific that they're going to hang out. the library idea is cute but not really realistic, and besides, i'd imagine the majority of women that do go there aren't there waiting to be asked out. just generally keep your eye out around uni, maybe [b]try joining some societies[/b][/QUOTE] This.
Yes, I am. It's cheaper - no renting or suchlike - and I live very near it. It's a good university for physics too (although I'm under the impression that the subject is more popular with guys than girls).
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37122031]this hardly applies to his situation, it has more to do with his relationship to his friend than to the girl?? did you read it?[/QUOTE] should still ask her out though
I'd try coffee shops, if you're looking for bookish women. Around here there some book store / coffee shop combos that I imagine would be a pretty good place to talk to people! They come in and buy books, and then sit down for coffee. Books are a good conversation starter! [editline]7th August 2012[/editline] And coffee is yummy.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37128614]I'd try coffee shops, if you're looking for bookish women. Around here there some book store / coffee shop combos that I imagine would be a pretty good place to talk to people! They come in and buy books, and then sit down for coffee. Books are a good conversation starter! [editline]7th August 2012[/editline] And coffee is yummy.[/QUOTE] I'm more a tea person, but that sounds like a good idea. Still, unlike say a library or university, I find it's hard to get a good gambit where people eat/drink. I don't like introductions that feel forced; maybe it's just me not being able to pull it off well, but even so, I feel the likelyhood of them going wrong (and thus embarrassment) is much higher.
"If you never failed, you"ve never tried anything new".
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37128614]I'd try coffee shops, if you're looking for bookish women. Around here there some book store / coffee shop combos that I imagine would be a pretty good place to talk to people! They come in and buy books, and then sit down for coffee. Books are a good conversation starter! [editline]7th August 2012[/editline] And coffee is yummy.[/QUOTE] "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude but I saw that you're reading a book! I don't read books, books are gay. Let's talk about it!"
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