• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
a question like that requires a much more intimate knowledge of your girlfriend's father some fathers i've met were cool guys who just wanted to know if i wasn't going to kill her. some fathers i've met were almost willing to follow us around with binoculars.
All I really know about him is that he's kind of old school and he's pretty much a hard ass. He was very skeptical about her coming to my house first. Whenever I go to her house is when I'll be actually meeting him.
Sure, if you're 15.
[QUOTE=JakeIsWin;37209284]All I really know about him is that he's kind of old school and he's pretty much a hard ass. [/QUOTE] he's never gonna like you sorry
[QUOTE=G3rman;37209129]Sarcasm.[/QUOTE] [I]B-b-back peddle.[/I]
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37125428] If I were to look for more educated/bookish women, where would be a good place to start? I've been trying to go to the library more often but while it's a possibility, I don't see many women going there that often.[/QUOTE] I found plenty in parties and nights out. Mutual friends are the easiest route for meeting anybody.
[QUOTE=Dan2593;37211865]I found plenty in parties and nights out. Mutual friends are the easiest route for meeting anybody.[/QUOTE] Not always easy to acquire, much less rely upon to have.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37211954]Not always easy to acquire, much less rely upon to have.[/QUOTE] are you saying you don't have any friends?
Mutual friends are hard to find at parties (unless it's like a birthday party or something; I'm talking about heading out to clubs and suchlike).
What does it mean when a girl who I met over the internet doesn't talk much, but when I say that I'll leave her some time for herself, she says that I should stay with her? She won't tell me what worries her, so I'm fuckin confused. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37213397]Mutual friends are hard to find at parties (unless it's like a birthday party or something; I'm talking about heading out to clubs and suchlike).[/QUOTE] i don't understand what you're trying to say. if you're at a party, then what's stopping you introducing yourself to new people, whether they're mutual friends or not. and i'm not convinced you'll find many educated/bookish women out at clubs, so i wouldn't say that should top of your places to try.
@Raizo you are a temporary residence.
I'm gonna rant here. Eric, an old friend of my girlfriend is really close to her. Like, they were close to being together and were attracted to each other before I met her, but he didn't make any moves or anything because he was acting like a lot of the people that ask for advice on here (not asking her out or being reasonably up front) so now she's my special lady friend instead of his. Which would be fine. But Eric still acted like he wanted to be her best friend and be all buddy-buddy with her. I told her that he was obviously attracted to her still (he was; I'm not just basing my statement off of him wanting to be friends) but she wouldn't believe me. She has blinders on when it comes to people. She wants them to feel certain ways about her and she's really upset that guys never seem to legitimately want to be friends with her. So she told herself that that's what Eric wanted. Then he had some life crisis that changed how he felt about the future and told her about how he felt about her and wanted to be with her. He said he wouldn't be her friend if she wouldn't be with him. At the same time, her and I were having issues and took a break for a week on her request, though I'm normally pretty opposed to the practice since it usually means that you should break up, but I'm silly when it comes to her sometimes. She told him about that. He thought we'd broken up, and they were "friends" still. I told her that if someone will only be friends with you when you're single, they aren't your friend. She didn't have a good answer because she agreed, but really valued him in her life. That's all kinda old. Recently, I asked him if he was aware that her and I were still together, since she had never told him outright and had just reassured me that she was pretty sure he knew. He did not. Thanked me for telling him. She got mad at me. She apologized for overreacting. He acted like it was all swell and apologized for making things difficult. They hung out some afterwards. Then this past week she hung out with him more than me, which I wouldn't be bugged about, were it a different situation, but I was this time. He kissed her. She told me when she got home one night. Made sure to tell me all about it and reassure me about how she didn't kiss him back and it was just kinda lips touching and she was surprised. Then, the day before she leaves for a week, we hung out for a couple hours. She kinda took a nap while we watched a movie and didn't say a lot or act interested. Then went to hang out with him well before the show they were going to started at a popular venue we have. The next evening when she's out of town, I text her wondering how she's doing. She tells me that she's been talking on the phone with "someone" for the past three hours, but that they're brushing their teeth right now. I get her to tell me that it's Eric, but she was kinda resistant to giving up that. I got upset. She asked why I was upset later, and I told her that he was the reason. And she said that she couldn't see why, because she had chosen to be with me. She asked if it was the fact that they'd be talking a lot, or that they were close or that he'd kissed her twice- at which point I stopped her because apparently he keeps doing it and I didn't know. She said that the second time, she told him that that can't keep happening. So I'm all bothered. I feel like I'm a bad person for thinking this territorially and normally I just let her do her thing, because she's a human being and I trust that she can handle herself, but: In my mind I hold a certain place in her life and a certain emotional weight. I appreciate that I cannot serve every purpose, and am unwelcome in certain situations or that friends can do some things for her better than I can, but I also feel like there are certain things that it's my place to do. If friends do those things too, it's fine. But I know that Eric hold a lot of the same emotional weight as I do in her life, and wants to do all the things I do. This would also be fine, but he thinks of it romantically, and wants to be with her romantically, so even if she views him platonically, they have the same interactions together and I feel like he's encroaching on things he has no right to. So there's me being all emotional and jealous and silly. [editline]13th August 2012[/editline] And I reeeeally want to go talk to him about it. But it wouldn't be the way to solve this. I'm extremely impatient for her to fix it and feel a mixture of antsy and upset.
Become the alpha male, assert your dominance. Through words preferably, but you might have to shove this guy around. I hate girls like that btw, sucks that you have to deal with it.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37211954]Not always easy to acquire, much less rely upon to have.[/QUOTE] I'll clarify. I was trying to say that mutual friends, for me, do not come up often when I go to parties and nights out, unless it's something specifically with friends, like a birthday party or something. I.e. often when I do go out with friends, say to a club, none of the friends I go out with know anyone there. And I don't think nights out, contrary to what Dan said, are a good way to find those kinds of women. They aren't nonexistent of course, but harder to find; especially, appearance-wise, they will almost certainly look the same as their uh, less-bookish peers.
You never know what you'll come across. If it's fun you're looking for, I'm sure you'll land yourself with a pretty lady.
[QUOTE=G3rman;37216898]Become the alpha male, assert your dominance. Through words preferably, but you might have to shove this guy around.[/QUOTE] This issue is hers, not mine. Shoving the guy around won't help because the issue is that they get along so well and the guy is romantically interested. You don't go yelling at people for being good friends. If I was going to do anything, it would be to tell the guy to sort his shit out because there are other girls and he's pulling the whole "there is no one else in the world for me I will be lost without you no one else is good enough" nonsense and he needs to realize that he's fucking himself over here more than anyone else with that mentality. Anyway, I vented and made myself an iced chai latte and english muffins and drove around with my brother and will fix the end to a short story I finished recently. Cathartic stuff. I'll be all good.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37218127]This issue is hers, not mine. Shoving the guy around won't help because the issue is that they get along so well and the guy is romantically interested. You don't go yelling at people for being good friends. If I was going to do anything, it would be to tell the guy to sort his shit out because there are other girls and he's pulling the whole "there is no one else in the world for me I will be lost without you no one else is good enough" nonsense and he needs to realize that he's fucking himself over here more than anyone else with that mentality. Anyway, I vented and made myself an iced chai latte and english muffins and drove around with my brother and will fix the end to a short story I finished recently. Cathartic stuff. I'll be all good.[/QUOTE] Yes its there problem but its encroaching on your relationship, you don't deserve that crap.
[QUOTE=Raizo;37213461]What does it mean when a [b]girl who I met over the internet[/b] doesn't talk much, but when I say that I'll leave her some time for herself, she says that I should stay with her? She won't tell me what worries her, so I'm fuckin confused. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?[/QUOTE] it means get ooover it
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37218127]This issue is hers, not mine. Shoving the guy around won't help because the issue is that they get along so well and the guy is romantically interested. You don't go yelling at people for being good friends. If I was going to do anything, it would be to tell the guy to sort his shit out because there are other girls and he's pulling the whole "there is no one else in the world for me I will be lost without you no one else is good enough" nonsense and he needs to realize that he's fucking himself over here more than anyone else with that mentality. Anyway, I vented and made myself an iced chai latte and english muffins and drove around with my brother and will fix the end to a short story I finished recently. Cathartic stuff. I'll be all good.[/QUOTE] both he and your girlfriend are being serious problems. he went to kiss her? i'd be pretty pissed, and i might give my girlfriend the benefit of the doubt that she's squared away the problem and it won't happen again without consequence. but twice? and she tells you he did it a second time as she's getting ready to go out somewhere with him? nope. i'd be fucking livid. you need to be completely real and communicate with her, not in a pissed-off way, but she needs to know that that's totally unacceptable. she's stringing along a guy who's trying to get in the way of her relationship, and it's really affecting your, her boyfriend's, feelings. [editline]13th August 2012[/editline] your whole story seriously makes my blood boil
[QUOTE=lil_n00blett;37219242]both he and your girlfriend are being serious problems. he went to kiss her? i'd be pretty pissed, and i might give my girlfriend the benefit of the doubt that she's squared away the problem and it won't happen again without consequence. but twice? and she tells you he did it a second time as she's getting ready to go out somewhere with him? nope. i'd be fucking livid. you need to be completely real and communicate with her, not in a pissed-off way, but she needs to know that that's totally unacceptable. she's stringing along a guy who's trying to get in the way of her relationship, and it's really affecting your, her boyfriend's, feelings. [editline]13th August 2012[/editline] your whole story seriously makes my blood boil[/QUOTE] It may also do to point out to her that not only is it a problem for you she is hurting him as well in the long run. Stringing him along like that is no good for him either, and is gonna keep him infatuated with her unless she stops and gives him a serious no. Not a "oh you shouldn't really do that, anyway lets go to the movies". Esp since she seems to be acting more interested in him than you.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37218127]This issue is hers, not mine. Shoving the guy around won't help because the issue is that they get along so well and the guy is romantically interested. You don't go yelling at people for being good friends. If I was going to do anything, it would be to tell the guy to sort his shit out because there are other girls and he's pulling the whole "there is no one else in the world for me I will be lost without you no one else is good enough" nonsense and he needs to realize that he's fucking himself over here more than anyone else with that mentality. Anyway, I vented and made myself an iced chai latte and english muffins and drove around with my brother and will fix the end to a short story I finished recently. Cathartic stuff. I'll be all good.[/QUOTE] Just talk to her and ask her if she still wants to be together or if she wants to see the other guy instead.
Internet Relationships = Bogus Relationships
Ouch, that hurts areolop, I thought we had something.
[QUOTE=shatteredwindow;37224573]Ouch, that hurts areolop, I thought we had something.[/QUOTE] Sorry bro.
[QUOTE=Rubs10;37223820]Just talk to her and ask her if she still wants to be together or if she wants to see the other guy instead.[/QUOTE] definitely do not do this. it is childish and makes you seem like a jealous insecure child. ask her how she [I]feels[/I], rather than what she [I]wants[/I]. i find that girls (not all!) have a tough time deciding what they want, but always know exactly how they feel.
MindMuncher, I think she really needs to know that she's stringing him along, even if she has a idyllic view of the relationship as potentially perfect and platonic. It's very hard to get over someone who sees you as a best friend. I have no idea how you'd go about it, but you'd need to make her or him see that it's unhealthy for him that they spend that much time together. And then on top of that he might be actively trying to win her over, and not just scrambling for morsels of her attention.
So, I've been having some trouble with my girlfriend lately. I'll give you just a few recent stories of what I've been dealing with the past couple of days. Lately, she's been getting mad at me easily. I try and joke around and have fun with her like I used to, but she easily gets upset now. It's not her period because I've been able to joke around the same way when it actually was her time of the month. She get's mad if I don't text back right away. Sometimes I go to the other room for a bit, and get a message. If I don't reply in under 5 mins she starts texting "Hello?","Baby?","I'm upset","I'm crying..." I tell her to chill, and tell her the truth of where I was/what I was doing. She gets even more upset... She's always wanting to talk every night on the phone till 3-5am. School is back for me next Monday, so I just want to at least try and get back from the usual summer sleeping schedule buy going to bed earlier each day. She doesn't want that to happen. I tried to get off the phone with her because I was actually tired pretty early 2 nights ago. She started up and kept saying "it's your choice" but when I said goodnight she said "don't leave me" sounding like she's about to cry. I ended up cheering her up and we both went to bed later on happy. Last night I was hanging with 2 old friends I haven't seen in a long time and slept over one of their houses (one of them is good friends with my girlfriend as well). I talked to her for a bit and then they wanted me to go chill and talk with them (basic guy talk, "would you rather fuck this chick or..." etc, etc.) So I told her I wanna hang with my friends but she wouldn't let me go. My two friends actually understood and said they can let me talk if I wanted to. I actually wanted to talk to her that night but then she just kept arguing saying she doesn't want to "interfere with you and your guy's." So I finally said "Alright then, goodnight than baby." and as I hung up she did the "don't leave" whining thing again. This time I was fed up so I just hung up, pretending I didn't hear her. Later I get a text saying "You hung up :(". Even right now as I type this she's texting me constantly. I'm honestly starting to get annoyed about all this. [I][U]I just don't know what to say to her[/U][/I]. I don't really see her too often since our parents are working all the time and live pretty far away from each other. I usually see her once or twice a week. When school starts (about a week away), her and I will be able to see each other everyday. BTW: The last thought in my mind is to break up with her, because she still makes me happy and I do the same to her. So, any ideas Facepunch? [editline]1[/editline] Sorry bout the huge post.
[QUOTE=OH-SNAP!;37226109]So, I've been having some trouble with my girlfriend lately. I'll give you just a few recent stories of what I've been dealing with the past couple of days. Lately, she's been getting mad at me easily. I try and joke around and have fun with her like I used to, but she easily gets upset now. It's not her period because I've been able to joke around the same way when it actually was her time of the month. She get's mad if I don't text back right away. Sometimes I go to the other room for a bit, and get a message. If I don't reply in under 5 mins she starts texting "Hello?","Baby?","I'm upset","I'm crying..." I tell her to chill, and tell her the truth of where I was/what I was doing. She gets even more upset... She's always wanting to talk every night on the phone till 3-5am. School is back for me next Monday, so I just want to at least try and get back from the usual summer sleeping schedule buy going to bed earlier each day. She doesn't want that to happen. I tried to get off the phone with her because I was actually tired pretty early 2 nights ago. She started up and kept saying "it's your choice" but when I said goodnight she said "don't leave me" sounding like she's about to cry. I ended up cheering her up and we both went to bed later on happy. Last night I was hanging with 2 old friends I haven't seen in a long time and slept over one of their houses (one of them is good friends with my girlfriend as well). I talked to her for a bit and then they wanted me to go chill and talk with them (basic guy talk, "would you rather fuck this chick or..." etc, etc.) So I told her I wanna hang with my friends but she wouldn't let me go. My two friends actually understood and said they can let me talk if I wanted to. I actually wanted to talk to her that night but then she just kept arguing saying she doesn't want to "interfere with you and your guy's." So I finally said "Alright then, goodnight than baby." and as I hung up she did the "don't leave" whining thing again. This time I was fed up so I just hung up, pretending I didn't hear her. Later I get a text saying "You hung up :(". Even right now as I type this she's texting me constantly. I'm honestly starting to get annoyed about all this. [I][U]I just don't know what to say to her[/U][/I]. I don't really see her too often since our parents are working all the time and live pretty far away from each other. I usually see her once or twice a week. When school starts (about a week away), her and I will be able to see each other everyday. BTW: The last thought in my mind is to break up with her, because she still makes me happy and I do the same to her. So, any ideas Facepunch? [editline]1[/editline] Sorry bout the huge post.[/QUOTE] Sounds like an attention seeking needy girl. Really tough to deal with without hurting their oversensitive feelings. I'd probably say to do something mean so let a girl answer.
[QUOTE=OH-SNAP!;37226109]So, I've been having some trouble with my girlfriend lately. I'll give you just a few recent stories of what I've been dealing with the past couple of days. Lately, she's been getting mad at me easily. I try and joke around and have fun with her like I used to, but she easily gets upset now. It's not her period because I've been able to joke around the same way when it actually was her time of the month. She get's mad if I don't text back right away. Sometimes I go to the other room for a bit, and get a message. If I don't reply in under 5 mins she starts texting "Hello?","Baby?","I'm upset","I'm crying..." I tell her to chill, and tell her the truth of where I was/what I was doing. She gets even more upset... She's always wanting to talk every night on the phone till 3-5am. School is back for me next Monday, so I just want to at least try and get back from the usual summer sleeping schedule buy going to bed earlier each day. She doesn't want that to happen. I tried to get off the phone with her because I was actually tired pretty early 2 nights ago. She started up and kept saying "it's your choice" but when I said goodnight she said "don't leave me" sounding like she's about to cry. I ended up cheering her up and we both went to bed later on happy. Last night I was hanging with 2 old friends I haven't seen in a long time and slept over one of their houses (one of them is good friends with my girlfriend as well). I talked to her for a bit and then they wanted me to go chill and talk with them (basic guy talk, "would you rather fuck this chick or..." etc, etc.) So I told her I wanna hang with my friends but she wouldn't let me go. My two friends actually understood and said they can let me talk if I wanted to. I actually wanted to talk to her that night but then she just kept arguing saying she doesn't want to "interfere with you and your guy's." So I finally said "Alright then, goodnight than baby." and as I hung up she did the "don't leave" whining thing again. This time I was fed up so I just hung up, pretending I didn't hear her. Later I get a text saying "You hung up :(". Even right now as I type this she's texting me constantly. I'm honestly starting to get annoyed about all this. [I][U]I just don't know what to say to her[/U][/I]. I don't really see her too often since our parents are working all the time and live pretty far away from each other. I usually see her once or twice a week. When school starts (about a week away), her and I will be able to see each other everyday. BTW: The last thought in my mind is to break up with her, because she still makes me happy and I do the same to her. So, any ideas Facepunch? [editline]1[/editline] Sorry bout the huge post.[/QUOTE] It could just be because you guys don't get to communicate and hang around eachother face to face enough, so she became kind of needy. What do I know though. Hopefully the situation improves for you when school starts, otherwise if its bothering you that much you're going to have to talk to her about it
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