• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
Well on a wild guess could she be stressed cause school is going to start soon? Need a little personality background on her. Could be attention seeking, coupd be she is worried about something. If your friends and her are cool I suggest chilling with them together, but I guess that doesnt work for everyone. She might be feeling a bit in competition with them I guess also. She could also just be comming to the end of summer and anticipating getting to see you again soon. I would suggest maybe just asking her what is wrong or if she is okay cause she seems a bit sporadic lately. Or your word choice for what you think makes the right point without offending. Maybe something is bothering her lately. Another option is birth control if she started some? Those mess with your moods quite a lot sometimes. Anything is a possibilty really. Youll prob have to ask her to find out.
As far as telling her that she's stringing him along, I told her. She wants me more than him. I told her about how it was putting me in a less-than-sun-shiny mood that she was spending so much time with a guy who is, yeah, trying to win her over. We've definitely talked it all over. She just doesn't understand quite as completely how much it upset me. Or how it was an unpleasant thing to do for everyone.. Or how not telling Eric that she wasn't going to be with him was unfair for him. And no, I don't need to tell her to choose me or him. I've done that before anyway. It's stupid and does make you feel dumb after you say it, since it really doesn't help anything and makes you sound more confrontational than necessary about something that, at least in my case, hasn't been a real even choice for her. As in she would choose me more readily than anyone else that I'm aware of. It's cool guys. I try and talk to her about any issues I have, even if she doesn't necessarily reciprocate. So as far as anything I know, she'll know it. [QUOTE=GoldenGnome;37224799]makes you seem like a jealous insecure child[/QUOTE] Well that may not be entirely inaccurate. Maybe it would help clarify to add that apparently she's telling him in a really straight up way that that cannot happen as soon as she get back in town. Which, actually doesn't sound all that powerful of a solution now that I type it out. Well it sounded reassuring earlier today. They wouldn't be doing as much stuff together afterwards.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37226961]As far as telling her that she's stringing him along, I told her. She wants me more than him. I told her about how it was putting me in a less-than-sun-shiny mood that she was spending so much time with a guy who is, yeah, trying to win her over. We've definitely talked it all over. She just doesn't understand quite as completely how much it upset me. Or how it was an unpleasant thing to do for everyone.. Or how not telling Eric that she wasn't going to be with him was unfair for him. And no, I don't need to tell her to choose me or him. I've done that before anyway. It's stupid and does make you feel dumb after you say it, since it really doesn't help anything and makes you sound more confrontational than necessary about something that, at least in my case, hasn't been a real even choice for her. As in she would choose me more readily than anyone else that I'm aware of. It's cool guys. I try and talk to her about any issues I have, even if she doesn't necessarily reciprocate. So as far as anything I know, she'll know it. Well that may not be entirely inaccurate. Maybe it would help clarify to add that apparently she's telling him in a really straight up way that that cannot happen as soon as she get back in town. Which, actually doesn't sound all that powerful of a solution now that I type it out. Well it sounded reassuring earlier today. They wouldn't be doing as much stuff together afterwards.[/QUOTE] You're being pretty level headed and trusting about all of this, so kudo's to you. If it were me I'd tell the guy to fuck off and tell her to stop talking to him altogether. Good thing you're not me.
[QUOTE=lum1naire;37227051]You're being pretty level headed and trusting about all of this, so kudo's to you. If it were me I'd tell the guy to fuck off and tell her to stop talking to him altogether. Good thing you're not me.[/QUOTE] Yeah but that's so stupidly dominant. The only thing that ordering people about is going to do is make them resent you.
^^she is lonely.
[QUOTE=fritzel;37229445]^^she is lonely.[/QUOTE] If you're talking about my girlfriend, yeah. She wants more friends, but the people that seek her out do so because they think she's pretty, so she keeps getting frustrated. That's also one reason she kept holding onto the idea that this guy was her friend and could be her platonic friend without romance.
-snip-
She just broke up with her boyfriend, freaking out now.
Just chill. Go do something to get your mind off it. Because you might want to keep the cool in the following times in case you want to do something. I sure wish that the girl I'm going for would dump her current guy soon. Sure, I have learned not to expect for much, but I honestly think that it won't be far if I were to have a couple more moments with her like on last Sunday.
So I've come to bitch about my parents again. This time it's my dad. I have reason to believe he's trying to get me fired from my job. As I was waking up this morning to go to work, I was about to hop into the shower and my dad then leaves without me (we work for the same company and my car's in the repair shop so I can't go to work alone for the time being.) I wanted to take the rest of the week off since school starts next week and I wanted to inform everyone at work that these were my plans. Now, a couple of things I need to note so everyone has the full story: -I don't like working at this place, but it pays well so I do it -My dad knows I don't like it at all, but he also helped me get the job. So my mom called him because she was pissed that he just left without his son, and it turns out that I was "too late" to leave with him. We don't normally leave until 7:30 and I was jumping in the shower at 7:05, which has been about when I have always been showering before work. The way I see it, he's, and I don't mean this comically, butthurt that I don't like the job he helped me get. I understand that, but at the same time I'm not obligated to like something because he helped me get it. It's not like I'm rude to him about it or anything, and I'm still respectful to him and everyone else at work. But I think he's making it look like I'm a disrespectful little shit so I get fired, and it's fucking frustrating and I don't know what to do.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37235617]Just chill. Go do something to get your mind off it. Because you might want to keep the cool in the following times in case you want to do something. I sure wish that the girl I'm going for would dump her current guy soon. Sure, I have learned not to expect for much, but I honestly think that it won't be far if I were to have a couple more moments with her like on last Sunday.[/QUOTE] ugh how about you just find a single girl instead??
Yeah funny thing. I was ready for trying to find another girl. Latest one I found doesn't seem too promising (is what most consider an annoying bitch). And today I was thinking back at last Sunday and I know for sure why I like her so much, because we come along so well, we could talk for hours about things that matter to us. Hell, even my best friend sees it. Thinks that I seem to connect better with her then her boyfriend does (I was baffled when I heard him say that).
I think that the girl im trying to date is turning into a lost cause. I dont know how to explain it but thats just how it feels. Its hard to do anything with her since both of our schedules are packed to hell. We both have a shit ton of fun being single and I feel that if we did actually start dating that we both would just be bored. I want to be an enabler not a disabler. Im interested in her, shes interested in me. Its just hard to seal the deal
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37236114]Yeah funny thing. I was ready for trying to find another girl. Latest one I found doesn't seem too promising (is what most consider an annoying bitch).[/QUOTE] "there's one single girl i met, but i'm not interested, therefore i must continue chasing the taken one"
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37236114]Yeah funny thing. I was ready for trying to find another girl. Latest one I found doesn't seem too promising (is what most consider an annoying bitch). And today I was thinking back at last Sunday and I know for sure why I like her so much, because we come along so well, we could talk for hours about things that matter to us. Hell, even my best friend sees it. Thinks that I seem to connect better with her then her boyfriend does (I was baffled when I heard him say that).[/QUOTE] Keep looking for singles, you can still hang out with her but just don't mess with anything. Their relationship can end naturally if it will and otherwise you can find someone else you actually get along with. You just have to seriously look (not dismiss them as not as good as X, since you may do)
[QUOTE=areolop;37236194]I think that the girl im trying to date is turning into a lost cause. I dont know how to explain it but thats just how it feels. Its hard to do anything with her since both of our schedules are packed to hell. We both have a shit ton of fun being single and I feel that if we did actually start dating that we both would just be bored. I want to be an enabler not a disabler. Im interested in her, shes interested in me. Its just hard to seal the deal[/QUOTE] If you want a relationship to work, you find a way. Either its not worth it as you thought or you are giving up too easy.
[QUOTE=G3rman;37236337]If you want a relationship to work, you find a way. Either its not worth it as you thought or you are giving up too easy.[/QUOTE] Probably just me giving up easy :(
[QUOTE=Disseminate;37236219]"there's one single girl i met, but i'm not interested, therefore i must continue chasing the taken one"[/QUOTE] I was interested but my two best friends advised me to not go for this girl (not the first time they have advised me to stay away from troublesome women). Like the last girl they told me to stay away from is now in a relationship with some truck driver that is almost 10 years older than her (she is 19), not to mention that she had/has a fuckbuddy in each major town (I even met one of them). [QUOTE=Rhenae;37236228]Keep looking for singles, you can still hang out with her but just don't mess with anything. Their relationship can end naturally if it will and otherwise you can find someone else you actually get along with. You just have to seriously look (not dismiss them as not as good as X, since you may do)[/QUOTE] Sure I'm going to keep looking for singles. But I didn't dismiss the last girl I met due to not being as good as the other one. I decided to dismiss her because of how much my best friends loathe her. But the thing is that their relationship is closing in to it's natural end, so started standing on my toes again. And I'm specifically going to mess around with it by just hanging out with her. Just thinking about it from a logical standpoint: You are in a relationship that consists of mostly of casual talk and sex, a relationship that was even put on a break at one point not too long ago, then we insert another person, your relations with this person consist of the casual talk when there are other people obscuring the flow and when you two have your space you can just go on and on until the time you have runs out. If I may take it up again (and hopefully not sound like a broken record): Today when I was going to a self-defense class with my best friend he told me that he thinks that I and the girl get along better then her and her boyfriend. First on our way back home I figured out that I should ask him why he thinks this way. Reason was that from what he's seen; me and the girl have deeper discussions, while the girl and her boyfriends interaction is that what could be described as naive and lacking in weight. I tried to dismiss it but I actually could not remember any time I've had a deeper discussion with the guy. Nothing like I've had with the girl, where I'd got to hear about her woes, aspirations, ideas and thoughts. At least I know for sure that I ain't lying to myself about why I like this girl, when a friend points out to me what makes me tick.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37237124]I was interested but my two best friends advised me to not go for this girl (not the first time they have advised me to stay away from troublesome women). Like the last girl they told me to stay away from is now in a relationship with some truck driver that is almost 10 years older than her (she is 19), not to mention that she had/has a fuckbuddy in each major town (I even met one of them). Sure I'm going to keep looking for singles. But I didn't dismiss the last girl I met due to not being as good as the other one. I decided to dismiss her because of how much my best friends loathe her. But the thing is that their relationship is closing in to it's natural end, so started standing on my toes again. And I'm specifically going to mess around with it by just hanging out with her. Just thinking about it from a logical standpoint: You are in a relationship that consists of mostly of casual talk and sex, a relationship that was even put on a break at one point not too long ago, then we insert another person, your relations with this person consist of the casual talk when there are other people obscuring the flow and when you two have your space you can just go on and on until the time you have runs out. If I may take it up again (and hopefully not sound like a broken record): Today when I was going to a self-defense class with my best friend he told me that he thinks that I and the girl get along better then her and her boyfriend. First on our way back home I figured out that I should ask him why he thinks this way. Reason was that from what he's seen; me and the girl have deeper discussions, while the girl and her boyfriends interaction is that what could be described as naive and lacking in weight. I tried to dismiss it but I actually could not remember any time I've had a deeper discussion with the guy. Nothing like I've had with the girl, where I'd got to hear about her woes, aspirations, ideas and thoughts. At least I know for sure that I ain't lying to myself about why I like this girl, when a friend points out to me what makes me tick.[/QUOTE] It is quite possible they have deep discussions in private when you or your friend are not there, js. It is absolutely a matter of perspective.
True that. But I'm reflecting on that for how well and for how long I've know the guy, I never had a deep discussion with him. For a long time I tried to figure out what kind of a guy he was just to figure that he's a bit of a simpleton.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37237758]True that. But I'm reflecting on that for how well and for how long I've know the guy, I never had a deep discussion with him. For a long time I tried to figure out what kind of a guy he was just to figure that he's a bit of a simpleton.[/QUOTE] Even if he is simple, now its starting to sound like you figure this girl deserves better. If she doesn't want your kind of better then its totally her decision, maybe she likes him like that.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37237124]I was interested but my two best friends advised me to not go for this girl (not the first time they have advised me to stay away from troublesome women). Like the last girl they told me to stay away from is now in a relationship with some truck driver that is almost 10 years older than her (she is 19), not to mention that she had/has a fuckbuddy in each major town (I even met one of them).[/QUOTE] so literally the only reason you are pursuing a taken girl over a single one you actually like is because your FRIENDS told you to go for the taken one like, everything you said in your post started with "my friend pointed out that __", it's like your friends dictate your love life
So many goddamn cat avatars here. I am scared.
so you should be
[QUOTE=Autumn;37238487]so you should be[/QUOTE] I always think of aristocats when I see your avatar, but I know that isn't where its from.
roast has been taking advice from us and then flipping and coming back talking about how his best friend/some other guy friend him told him something else and completely ignoring everything we tell him since he first started posting in this thread so far it's gotten him absolutely nowhere
Sunday_Roast is a chronic advice-ignorer. He comes around to ask for advice or update the thread on his romantic situation every once in a while, and then completely disregards what everybody has to offer on the subject. He's drunk off misguided self-assurance! It's very rude!
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37235617]Just chill. Go do something to get your mind off it. Because you might want to keep the cool in the following times in case you want to do something. I sure wish that the girl I'm going for would dump her current guy soon. Sure, I have learned not to expect for much, but I honestly think that it won't be far if I were to have a couple more moments with her like on last Sunday.[/QUOTE] If you fucking died but came back to life and in your previous life you were with that girl but now she is with another guy in the current universe you would not wait Don't wait Chances don't come back. Don't live life like you live it twice.
#yolo
What do I do if I have been in love with another man, and umm, I'm lonely.
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