The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Seith;37283254]Then you have your answer.[/QUOTE]
okay, I'll do it :( if it doesn't go according to plan, do you think it's still possible to be friends?
[QUOTE=Alcapwne;37283268]okay, I'll do it :( if it doesn't go according to plan, do you think it's still possible to be friends?[/QUOTE]
Sure, why not?
So my girlfriend wants to go on exchange to new york for a year when she finishes her degree, which will be at the end of next year. I know it's no use worrying about something so far away but it's still a bit of a sore point, it makes most outcomes pretty inevitable in the long run
I don't get sad unless she mentions it and I don't generally show her I'm sad when she does but her parnents just told her they'd support her financially and she's excited about it and I feel bad that I can't really share her excitement in it
[QUOTE=Alcapwne;37283268]if it doesn't go according to plan, do you think it's still possible to be friends?[/QUOTE]
I asked one of my not-so-close friends out this one time (well actually I told her that I loved her, that was really dumb and I knew it but I also knew she was not interested in me). I almost haven't talked to her for a week and after that we became really close friends. It was a win/win. Still one of my best friends today.
I used to think it could only ruin friendships, but actually it did the opposite for me :v:
so my best friend stopped talking to me because "bad things will happen if I continue to be your friend" Shes very in-tune with the supernatural and she says that she had a premonition in which she realized this. About a week before this happened her boyfriend was telling her that she cant be friends with me (cause hes had a bad history of girls cheating on him... and hes a jealous D bag) so she said FUCK THAT. So we told him that I was gay. She has gone on to block me EVERYWHERE and in her words "remove me from her life" I know she wont pick up if I call her either. As much as id like to believe what she said to me. Im getting the overwhealming feeling that her boyfriend is pressuring her into not talking to me. Any advice on what I should do? It been like two weeks since this happened.
(yes I realize she sounds mentally insane when I say shes in-tune with the supernatural. I dont know what I believe but I know its not entirely made up. Eh fuck no matter what I say im pretty sure you'll all just call her crazy)
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37287765]so my best friend stopped talking to me because "bad things will happen if I continue to be your friend" Shes very in tune with the supernatural and she says that she had a premonition in which she realized this. About a week before this happened her boyfriend was telling her that she cant be friends with me (cause hes had a bad history of girls cheating on him... and hes a jealous D bag) so she said FUCK THAT. So we told him that I was gay. She has gone on to block me EVERYWHERE and in her words "remove me from her life" I know she wont pick up if I call her either. As much as id like to believe what she said to me. Im getting the overwhealming feeling that her boyfriend is pressuring her into not talking to me. Any advice on what I should do? It been like two weeks since this happened.[/QUOTE]
let them resolve it, if your best friend truly is your best friend she'll choose your friendship over his jealousy
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37287765](yes I realize she sounds mentally insane when I say shes in-tune with the supernatural. I dont know what I believe but I know its not entirely made up. Eh fuck no matter what I say im pretty sure you'll all just call her crazy)[/QUOTE]
actually i'll put my bets on the possibility that she's into you
[QUOTE=djshox;37287826]let them resolve it, if your best friend truly is your best friend she'll choose your friendship over his jealousy[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I still dont know how something like this could happen... I know shes scared though. Of losing her boyfriend or of what could happen Im not sure. But Ive never been closer to anyone, I always figured that I could count on her being there for me.
[QUOTE=djshox;37287826]actually i'll put my bets on the possibility that she's into you[/QUOTE]
yeah, I was discounting that idea because weve always had like a Sister/Brother relationship but I think that might be the case. I was talking to her a little while before all this and told her ive always thought she was really hot. Just that I never persued it because I didnt think it would work out and because I thought she was too much better than me. Shes done this before.. pushing someone out of her life because she had feelings for them. Different circumstance, but now I feel like that guy. This whole situation is freaking me the fuck out but it wouldnt suprise me if she started to develop feelings for me like that. Since ive gone to rehab, all the girls I knew beforehand all the sudden think im really hot. Well... this is weird. I guess she jumped on that bandwagon... and than jumped off and tried to kill herself
[b]HELP[/b]
I need an emergency deliberation, because, well...
One of my family members on the highly religious side of my family just asked me the "Christ" question.
[quote]Hi Chris.... okay, here's my deep question: what do you think about Jesus the Christ? ...eternity? .... heaven? .... hell? I just came across this sermon on Jesus the man/God. A very good sermon. I don't know what you know about Jesus so I don't know if you'll understand or be interested. It's about 30 mins so it might be too long for you.... let me know! xoxo Cousin Jo
[url]http://discovergrace.com/portfolio-item/godmath/[/url][/quote]
Here was my response:
[quote]"I'll give it a watch, but honestly, I've tried to avoid this kind of conversation with the family for quite a while because... well, honestly, I don't think you guys would like the answer much"[/quote]
I think I messed up.
[QUOTE=ewitwins;37289030][b]HELP[/b]
I need an emergency deliberation, because, well...
One of my family members on the highly religious side of my family just asked me the "Christ" question.
Here was my response:
I think I messed up.[/QUOTE]
I think it's best to just be honest. Most of my family disagrees with my views, so I try not to bring the subject up, but I think it's important to let them know how you feel.
Thanks, that's what my mother said too, so I'll give that a shot.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;37285117]So my girlfriend wants to go on exchange to new york for a year when she finishes her degree, which will be at the end of next year. I know it's no use worrying about something so far away but it's still a bit of a sore point, it makes most outcomes pretty inevitable in the long run
I don't get sad unless she mentions it and I don't generally show her I'm sad when she does but her parnents just told her they'd support her financially and she's excited about it and I feel bad that I can't really share her excitement in it[/QUOTE]
I think you should let her know how you feel. Try not to crash the party but the basis for a relationship is always communication and if you can't tell her something is bothering you thats gonna become a problem :)
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37260242]I'm having this delivered to my lady :]
[img]http://cdn.avasflowers.com/img/prod_img/7fe599cf1f2ed52276a6911d6697014c_prod.jpeg[/img]
[editline]15th August 2012[/editline]
I can't tell whether or not it's romantic, but I thought it was very pretty![/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=thisispain;37260622]i've been watching the Soprano's too much
makes me think you're gonna kill someone or something[/QUOTE]
She loved them, and totally didn't think that I was planning to kill her!
About some 200 posts back I posted a cautionary tale about me meeting some psycho girl on a date and ending up meeting her very awesome friends.
So this week I'm in a village, and every year around 15th of August there are religious celebrations.
During these 3 days the village's assotiation organizes the festivities. We mount a bar, a dinner and invite some bands to play music for those days. That's why I haven't been around. I've been helping there.
Anyway I'm behind the bar serving drinks and all the money we make there goes to fund the next years festivities.
What happened is I invited those friends , through the girl I've been talking to ever since, to come.
I really wanted to talk to that girl so I thought I'd have the oportunity during those 3 days. I really liked her and would love to get to know her better.
And I got the chance to do that during the 14th. There was not to many people there so I got the chance to wander (i'm allowed to do that often since I'm a volunteer as long as they can take care of it). So I used that time to escape the bar and smuggle some free beers to them.
Its like the more I talk that girl the more I like her and I feel she is interested too.
Problem is the 15th and 16th august were crowded with people which made me stay in the bar all night. Yesterday night was the only time I managed to speak to her as she was leaving. Now I dont know when I'll see her again cause my dad took my car.
Damn. I'm running out of luck.
Damn, I really need to get over my nervousness/anxiety. I didn't get the girl's number today because I was afraid of going up to her when she was with her friends.
After the events of today, I've made a vow to come out of my comfort zone more often, and I [b]have[/b] to get her number when I see her next, which will probably be Monday.
[QUOTE=psychojake;37293521]Damn, I really need to get over my nervousness/anxiety. I didn't get the girl's number today because I was afraid of going up to her when she was with her friends.
After the events of today, I've made a vow to come out of my comfort zone more often, and I [b]have[/b] to get her number when I see her next, which will probably be Monday.[/QUOTE]
That's the way to do it!! Just swallow your fear, and you can accomplish anything, I promise you. I'm pretty sure she likes you by the way you're talking about her.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37291545]She loved them, and totally didn't think that I was planning to kill her![/QUOTE]
So, when are you going to kill her then?
So Facepunch, I have a bit of a problem.
There is this girl I have known for a few years now, we met back in high school, she's 17 now and I'm 19. We always shared a strange relationship that was on the line between friends, and friends with benefits (We would constantly send all sorts of dirty texts and such back and forth. We also got pretty far with each other but never had sex.) Now as of last week she was admitted to a mental hospital because she had a breakdown. I've always known she had a rough home life, her parents are complete tight-asses and constantly fight and take it out on her. I'm also pretty sure she was molested as a kid by her dad, but every time I try to find out any more she ends the conversation. I seem to be one of the only people she can actually open up to. And just to add onto the whole mess she told me she loves me about two weeks ago.
Now here is the catch, I'm not sure if I love her back. I feel something for her, but I'm pretty sure it's not love. I know if I try to move away from her I'd just hurt her more and I don't know if I can "Learn" to love her.
What should I do?
[QUOTE=VOSK;37294649]So Facepunch, I have a bit of a problem.
There is this girl I have known for a few years now, we met back in high school, she's 17 now and I'm 19. We always shared a strange relationship that was on the line between friends, and friends with benefits (We would constantly send all sorts of dirty texts and such back and forth. We also got pretty far with each other but never had sex.) Now as of last week she was admitted to a mental hospital because she had a breakdown. I've always known she had a rough home life, her parents are complete tight-asses and constantly fight and take it out on her. I'm also pretty sure she was molested as a kid by her dad, but every time I try to find out any more she ends the conversation. I seem to be one of the only people she can actually open up to. And just to add onto the whole mess she told me she loves me about two weeks ago.
Now here is the catch, I'm not sure if I love her back. I feel something for her, but I'm pretty sure it's not love. I know if I try to move away from her I'd just hurt her more and I don't know if I can "Learn" to love her.
What should I do?[/QUOTE]
Tell her your feels, when you see her again, after she has sufficiently recovered. Explain you would rather be friends and that you don't really think you feel that way back. It may hurt her some in the short term, but you can maintain a close friendship like that and it will hurt less than in the long run.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37294902]Tell her your feels, when you see her again, after she has sufficiently recovered. Explain you would rather be friends and that you don't really think you feel that way back. It may hurt her some in the short term, but you can maintain a close friendship like that and it will hurt less than in the long run.[/QUOTE]
Only problem is that by "hurt her more", I mean she might try to kill herself. She has attempted it before and if that happened, I would never forgive myself.
[QUOTE=VOSK;37294932]Only problem is that by "hurt her more", I mean she might try to kill herself. She has attempted it before and if that happened, I would never forgive myself.[/QUOTE]
So leading her on in a relationship that is no good for you probably to eventually break ties after she has more hopes into the option than before?
I know what you mean, I had a friend who suffered from depression and I worried she might kill herself as well if I wasn't careful with her. You just can't devote your whole life to helping them, yourself needs to be a consideration as well.
You know her best so only you can probable figure it out, but try to find the easiest way to let her off? Assure her you can see be best buds it's just you don't want to lead her on like that.
I am probably very selfish, because I almost immediately abandon ship when I start getting whiffs of "potential suicide" around new acquaintances. I've been down that road with others before, and it's just such a torrid affair. All I can do is throw my hands up and back out of the room before anybody catches my scent.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37294994]I am probably very selfish, because I almost immediately abandon ship when I start getting whiffs of "potential suicide" around new acquaintances. I've been down that road with others before, and it's just such a torrid affair. All I can do is throw my hands up and back out of the room before anybody catches my scent.[/QUOTE]
Suicide is a huge red-flag for me. If its looking like its going down that road, im getting the fuck out. Quick.
A bit of an update concerning this situation here:
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37215284]I'm gonna rant here.
Eric, an old friend of my girlfriend is really close to her. Like, they were close to being together and were attracted to each other before I met her, but he didn't make any moves or anything because he was acting like a lot of the people that ask for advice on here (not asking her out or being reasonably up front) so now she's my special lady friend instead of his. Which would be fine. But Eric still acted like he wanted to be her best friend and be all buddy-buddy with her. I told her that he was obviously attracted to her still (he was; I'm not just basing my statement off of him wanting to be friends) but she wouldn't believe me.
She has blinders on when it comes to people. She wants them to feel certain ways about her and she's really upset that guys never seem to legitimately want to be friends with her. So she told herself that that's what Eric wanted. Then he had some life crisis that changed how he felt about the future and told her about how he felt about her and wanted to be with her. He said he wouldn't be her friend if she wouldn't be with him. At the same time, her and I were having issues and took a break for a week on her request, though I'm normally pretty opposed to the practice since it usually means that you should break up, but I'm silly when it comes to her sometimes. She told him about that. He thought we'd broken up, and they were "friends" still. I told her that if someone will only be friends with you when you're single, they aren't your friend. She didn't have a good answer because she agreed, but really valued him in her life.
That's all kinda old. Recently, I asked him if he was aware that her and I were still together, since she had never told him outright and had just reassured me that she was pretty sure he knew. He did not. Thanked me for telling him. She got mad at me. She apologized for overreacting. He acted like it was all swell and apologized for making things difficult. They hung out some afterwards. Then this past week she hung out with him more than me, which I wouldn't be bugged about, were it a different situation, but I was this time. He kissed her. She told me when she got home one night. Made sure to tell me all about it and reassure me about how she didn't kiss him back and it was just kinda lips touching and she was surprised. Then, the day before she leaves for a week, we hung out for a couple hours. She kinda took a nap while we watched a movie and didn't say a lot or act interested. Then went to hang out with him well before the show they were going to started at a popular venue we have. The next evening when she's out of town, I text her wondering how she's doing. She tells me that she's been talking on the phone with "someone" for the past three hours, but that they're brushing their teeth right now. I get her to tell me that it's Eric, but she was kinda resistant to giving up that. I got upset. She asked why I was upset later, and I told her that he was the reason. And she said that she couldn't see why, because she had chosen to be with me. She asked if it was the fact that they'd be talking a lot, or that they were close or that he'd kissed her twice- at which point I stopped her because apparently he keeps doing it and I didn't know. She said that the second time, she told him that that can't keep happening.
So I'm all bothered. I feel like I'm a bad person for thinking this territorially and normally I just let her do her thing, because she's a human being and I trust that she can handle herself, but: In my mind I hold a certain place in her life and a certain emotional weight. I appreciate that I cannot serve every purpose, and am unwelcome in certain situations or that friends can do some things for her better than I can, but I also feel like there are certain things that it's my place to do. If friends do those things too, it's fine. But I know that Eric hold a lot of the same emotional weight as I do in her life, and wants to do all the things I do. This would also be fine, but he thinks of it romantically, and wants to be with her romantically, so even if she views him platonically, they have the same interactions together and I feel like he's encroaching on things he has no right to.
So there's me being all emotional and jealous and silly.
[editline]13th August 2012[/editline]
And I reeeeally want to go talk to him about it. But it wouldn't be the way to solve this. I'm extremely impatient for her to fix it and feel a mixture of antsy and upset.[/QUOTE]
I had pretty much gotten over it. It was a mixture of me thinking that she would actually solve it and trusting her to take care of her shit, and me wanting to be happy with her again. So I forgave her for what had happened and told her so. I genuinely meant it when I said it. I don't lie to her to make her feel better.
We had a really wonderful few hours today and a whole day before that. Lots of laughing and acting like things were normal. I felt like they were.
Then at work today, one of my friends talked to me about my girlfriend. Talked about how she was being kind of a really terrible person lately. I didn't really appreciate the comments, because regardless of what friends say, the decision to be with her really comes down to me. I tried to not agree with the suggestions and I brushed the person off. But I did think about it a bit, and did feel like she hadn't been being a very good girlfriend about all of this. Which wouldn't mean a whole lot, but it broke my good mood and made me really think about the situation again.
I realized that she had never really given me any reason to legitimately believe that this issue was over with. She had been writing a letter to give to Eric that explained something. I don't know what it said, but she gave the impression that it somehow said, with a definite tone, that they cannot be together romantically. She acted like by the act of giving him this letter, she would fix the whole thing. For some reason, I went along with that. I'm pretty convinced that I wanted it to fix it, so I told myself that it would, but I dunno. When I started to think about it again though, I realized that this wouldn't solve it. He'll still want to be with her, and he'll still talk to her. Hell, he kissed her twice when she was with me, so I doubt that he'll be so dissuaded that the whole issue will magically vanish.
As I thought about it, I resolved to talk to her tonight. She baked a cake and we were excited to try some earlier, so I figured that I would talk to her tonight when we got together and we would discuss it. I had it in my head that I would tell her that this cannot happen again, still thinking it was fairly done and over from her side, if not his. When I get off work and ask her if I can come over then, she says no. She hadn't frosted the cake. Asked her why, jokingly. She was with Eric this afternoon. She gave him the letter. He's very upset. She's on the phone with her sister, whom she turns to about big issues. I tell her to call me later so that we can talk.
An hour and a half later, she calls me. She asks what I want most in the world. I say "to be happy" because it seems right. That's generally the reason for anyone's pursuits. I ask why she asked me. Eric had told her that he wanted her more than anything else in the world. He had puked after being told that they couldn't be together and then left home (I don't know what that quite implies...) before calling her again and freaking out over the phone.
We talked a lot. Or I talked a lot. She didn't say much after she asked me what was on my mind and to tell her, despite me saying that it would upset her. I talked about the issues we've had before. We've each had periods during which we're pretty crappy, but those require too much detail to really explain. Suffice to say that her previous issue was much like this one fundamentally, in that she was torn between choosing me or another person. Mine was some time later and revolved around me feeling emotionally apathetic and unenthusiastic about her. Like, my whole affectionate side just went "bleugh" and turned off for a few days. I wasn't used to not being entirely taken with being with her, so I talked to her about it pretty in depth. Turns out it was just me being emotionally mellow for a bit. I told her about how she has now had two problems decided whether she wants me or some other dude, and how my issue, which she compared at the time to hers, was essentially me thinking that I wasn't giving her enough emotionally to really warrant being with her anymore. Two vastly different problems. I told her about how I had planned to tell her that her issue can't ever crop up again, but now I wasn't sure that she could guarantee that.
She said that it wouldn't happen again. I told her that I wasn't sure. Told her why. Told her that I had been going along with this because I believed her when she said that it was her problem to deal with and because I respected her strong feelings for Eric. They'd been really close friends, it was only fair to let her deal with it. Told her how I felt silly to have thought that for this long. Told her that it hurts when she can't just straight up pick me, and how I feel silly waiting for her to decide and going with the decision instead of ending it because she has to sit and [i]wonder[/i] about it. Told her how the struggle for her to decide hurts. Told her that I wanted her to say that she could choose me right away so that I could stop feeling silly about being with her and feel like I was doing to right thing again.
Told her about how she's been being pretty shitty and how I've put up with it more than I should. Explained all of the feelings I had about this situation and her treatment of me during it. Cried fairly profusely because this all weighed pretty heavy on me. I ask her if she would want me to want her more than anything in the world. She says no.
She said that I didn't understand and hadn't been in this kind of situation before so I don't quite appreciate all of it. I told her that I was sorry that she thought that, and asked her if she could try to see it from my side. I wanted her to at least acknowledge that she's been being shitty. Would have made me feel so much better. Probably would have stopped all of my complaints for a while again if she'd simply been understanding about how crappy she's been treating me. It seems pretty clear to me and everyone around me, but she feels entirely justified in it at the moment. She feels like I don't understand how hard this is for her. I do. It's what's kept me from just telling her straight up that she needs to fix this fucking mess. I gave her time to do what she felt was the right thing to solve it.
She gets angry. She falls into a mood when she's been extremely emotional for too long, which I call the "fuck everything mood". It doesn't happen a lot. She gets very blasé about everything. Nothing is worth her worry anymore. It makes her impossible to talk to for a few hours after which she burns out. She tells me that tonight is a Friday night and that she should enjoy it. Says "This conversation is stupid".
I choke out 'no it's not' then feel incredibly childish. I hang up because at that point I physically cannot talk. I realize that she may be in a particular mood and that I shouldn't take it seriously, but I told her openly about how I've been feeling and really make an effort to communicate with her about my side in all of this, which she has been ignoring for so long. She calls all of that "stupid".
We're going to talk tomorrow. I think I'm going to end this.
[editline]18th August 2012[/editline]
I'm sorry that that is so long and is probably a bit too emotional, but this just happened and I'm still all wiggly about it. Maybe I'll cool down by tomorrow. I wrote out some reasons I'm angry at her on sticky notes. It seems immature and as if I want to stay angry with her, but I'm afraid that I'll start trying to convince myself that it's okay to stay with her without addressing some of these issues and I don't want to convince myself of something unless I actually know it. If I can solve them, then that's an entirely different situation, but for now those unpleasant notes will remind me.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37296048]Eric had told her that he wanted her more than anything else in the world. He had puked after being told that they couldn't be together[/QUOTE]
Obviously at this point nobody involved in this situation can pretend that she and him can continue just being "friends" if his reaction to being told, as a friend, that they cannot be together is flipping the fuck out about it. She may value his friendship, but he is pushing it to be more than that. It's even worse that she is apparently completely ignoring this fact and pretending that he isn't trying to be more.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37296048] She tells me that tonight is a Friday night and that she should enjoy it. Says "This conversation is stupid".[/QUOTE]
From what you've written it seems like you've been really open to her about how you feel and have been telling her the truth. Saying that it is stupid probably isn't literally what she thinks of it. Rather, she really doesn't like what you are telling her. It could mean a number of things, like she feels guilty, or she feels like you are being too controlling, or she doesn't want to choose one of you over the other. I'm not saying it is definitely one of those, but usually when someone says something that amounts to basically saying "whatever", it means that they don't like what they hear for whatever reason. Regardless, I have been in the same situation before and it admittedly has made me feel like serious shit before. I'd recommend not putting up with it if you can help it. If she is emotionally in that kind of state, though, it can make things trickier.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37296048]I hang up.[/QUOTE]
I don't know how your girlfriend reacts to you doing this, but my ex got super pissy both of the two times I ever did it and just made the situation significantly worse. I would recommend at the very least saying "I'm going now, goodbye" before hanging up, but that's just what I've learned from my past
Your situation is similar enough to what I have dealt with before and my best piece of advice to you is to do exactly the opposite of what you are afraid of doing:
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37296048]I'm afraid that I'll start trying to convince myself that it's okay to stay with her without addressing some of these issues[/QUOTE]
You absolutely cannot let these issues go unaddressed, and more importantly you have to address them thoroughly. Don't bring them up, get some response that is semi-satisfactory, and just go along with it (sort of like the letter solution). It's just going to lead to more problems down the line and you'll regret not talking about them sooner.
I really don't see a "down the line" in this. She feels justified in how she's handling this and it's really not okay in the least. If she says something incredibly redeeming today, maybe. But I'm not really expecting her to fix anything on her own anymore, and that alone kind of speaks of a big lack of trust now. So things aren't good. I'm pretty much just going over there to talk to her for a bit an explain myself face to face, then if things stay where they are now, break up.
[editline]18th August 2012[/editline]
Yeah, hanging up was childish. I was trying to keep talking and at that point I really couldn't make words come out and I couldn't keep listening to how she needed to forget this whole conversation and go have fun.
Also thank you for that input. It really was good for me to read it.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37296048]A bit of an update concerning this situation here:
-text-[/QUOTE]
All of my feels to you man, I was actually getting upset while reading that. There is no way you should stay with her after she says the whole conversation is stupid when you tell her how you feel. Irrelevant of her mood swings or other, you just do not do that.
If you split with her, you have my full support. Try not to fall to hard into it if she apologizes tomorrow for it, it better be a very very good discussion to validate giving her another chance with it.
[editline]18th August 2012[/editline]
Soooo.
Being a guys first girlfriend, do you think later down the line he will consider that he doesn't know what it is like to be with anyone else? Anyone think that could actually be a problem in some number of years or have I been watching too much TV again?
um since youre 17 i think it really doesnt matter much
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37301308]um since youre 17 i think it really doesnt matter much[/QUOTE]
Im thinking long term here bro. My current age is irrelivant
I'm 16 (since April), she'll be 15 in December. Too big of an age gap?
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37301481]Im thinking long term here bro. My current age is irrelivant[/QUOTE]
if youre talking about down the line of your current relationship then it still doesn't matter that you're his first, since youre both relatively unexperienced
if you're talking about the idea of maybe one day when you're 22 finding a guy who hasn't had a girlfriend, then why are you worrying about that? its unlikely and you'll cross that bridge when you come to it
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