The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;37307532]Is it bad that I am good friends with my friends exes?
I think he may be slightly autistic or something. He doesn't understand how people work, at all.
Like, he'll be a complete ass, have it pointed out to him, and he'll either try to justify it, or not
comprehend how he is an ass. Anyway, so he has two exes, and they're both pretty good friends
with me. Like, I chill with either of them more than I do with him. I don't know if I am actually friends
with him. I could just be being nice to him. He really doesn't know how society works. He feels a
victim of it, but really he put himself in that position.
Random post. Don't pay attention to it.[/QUOTE]
I had very strong relationships with two of my friends' exes. Both couples broke up around the same time, and I did my best to maintain my friendship with all of them, but it was just too uncomfortable to maintain. My dude friends didn't understand why I wanted to hang out with their exes, and the ladies just wanted to bring up the old relationships over and over. In the end, I had to stick with my best buddo's!
It was still very sad, though! They had all dated for the entire time I was in the army, and the girls and I were pretty good friends! They sent me cookies and wrote often. Bummer to cut ties like that, but I guess that's just the way things go sometimes!
Also, I purchased Gold Membership like two days ago...made sure the payment went through on my card and it says it did. Anybody know how long it usually takes for it to come into effect?
[QUOTE=Tennisball;37301687]I'm 16 (since April), she'll be 15 in December. Too big of an age gap?[/QUOTE]
1-2 years while teenage is not a big gap.
I remember my friend being 18 years old dated 12 year old.... Figure, it's really a big gap.
[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;37311411]I remember my friend being 18 years old dated 12 year old.... Figure, it's really a big gap.[/QUOTE]
It's not even an age gap, it's a man using a kid. That's really wrong.
Does anyone else feel like their plans with friends always seem to slip away during the summer?
Keep trying to ask friends to movies but they never seem to be able to get back to me in time for us to get together. It's now nearly the end of August, and I haven't done anything with my friends all summer except a little bit of quidditch and a college orientation.
Ehh, I'm just bummed out that it feels like I'm gonna have to watch hunger games by myself after being really excited to do it with friends.
[editline]19th August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Zanpa;37311440]It's not even an age gap, it's a man using a kid. That's really wrong.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, some people don't even care what statutory rape is.
Speaking on a high school level, most Seniors really can't date Freshmen because in most states the age gap is too small to give legal consent. But there are a lot of seniors who think that doesn't really matter, which is fucked up. Freshmen are virtually kids, they're usually 14 or 15 tops, while some Seniors can be as old as 19.
I was too scared to ask her out, she ended up going out with my bestfriend again.
Oh well, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37307321]Guys, he didn't even ask for advice, he mentioned in passing and someone else brought it up. This discussion has been had at length in this thread before, I don't see a reason to force it on him again. If they are both okay with it then they are both okay with it, he knows the opinion here and as they get older the age gap will either break it up, or it will stop mattering as much.
Age gaps of even just 2 years can get broken up come college time, and age gaps of over 6 years can stop mattering later in life. My sister just got married to a guy who was graduating when she just got in to middle school, for example :)[/QUOTE]
wait WHAT
your sister in MIDDLE SCHOOL just married a guy who just graduated HIGH SCHOOL? am i reading that right?
what the hell
[editline]19th August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;37312197]I was too scared to ask her out, she ended up going out with my bestfriend again.
Oh well, there are plenty of fish in the sea.[/QUOTE]
that's it, i've had it, from now on this will be your life's theme song. you will ask out the next girl and you will do it with confidence
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64[/media]
Just got home from London. Fuckit, London was perfect. Stockholm feels like a shithole compared to that.
[QUOTE=djshox;37314060]wait WHAT
your sister in MIDDLE SCHOOL just married a guy who just graduated HIGH SCHOOL? am i reading that right?
what the hell
[/QUOTE]
No, she just married someone of which that is the age gap, but they are older now so no one gives a crap.
I'm going to ask out this one girl next week.
Yesterday I overheard a conversation with her on the phone (well I just heard her tone of voice) and she sounded very ill at ease and almost like she was at the verge of tears.
She already thinks that I'm a very good listener, so would it be a good or a bad idea to try and ask her if somethings on her mind on the basis of what I heard yesterday?
Hey, guys. Feeling a little bummed at the moment. :/
About 7 months ago, an ex-girlfriend of mine, who I dated a few years back, went through a pretty rough break-up with another guy. We were still pretty decent friends and talked occasionally, etc. I kinda helped her out of it and we became "best friends" shortly after. We started texting each other almost constantly and we would hang out a lot and stuff. The only problem is that when we became close, I wanted something a bit more than that. So, after a while, I found myself in the friend zone. The thing is, I knew she didn't like me and I just kept trying to suppress my feelings. This went on for a while without too many problems until she started getting interested in another guy. She even had a little fling in the interim. (I think there were multiple but she just never told me.) I got extremely jealous and tried to hide my feelings about it but she managed to pick up on it. She felt bad for "friendzoning" me even though I didn't blame her for any of it. I said I was sorry and said I would try and get over my feelings. Eventually her love interest moved on to other women and no relationship came of it.
But I still couldn't get over my feelings. They just kept build up again and again until recently, when she started hanging out with this same guy. I got really jealous again. It got to the point where I was paranoid about her. I wanted to know what she was doing all the time and texted her in every bit of her free time.
But this week, she just stopped answering my texts. I got worried and thought that something was wrong. I would get a short conversation every day or two, but that was it. I confronted her about it this morning and she opened up to me and said I was being way too clingy and she needed some time alone.
It was then that I realized what a horrible person I have been for doing these things to her. I feel like, all this time, I've been so close to as a subconscious attempt to get her to like me back. I felt really guilty about it and admitted my realization as to why I'd been so clingy. She graciously accepted my apology and we agreed that alone time would be best for the both of us.
The question I have is whether I should continue hanging out with her or not. Obviously, I shouldn't be as close as I was trying to be, but I would still like to be good friends. My only concern is that my feelings might resurface should we get too close. I really do value our friendship and want too keep that without things become what they are again.
It is also notable that, starting tomorrow, have a class together every day and we were planning on carpooling this semester (not this week, however).
So, what do you think, FP?
[QUOTE=Splash Attack;37316425]Hey, guys. Feeling a little bummed at the moment. :/
About 7 months ago, an ex-girlfriend of mine, who I dated a few years back, went through a pretty rough break-up with another guy. We were still pretty decent friends and talked occasionally, etc. I kinda helped her out of it and we became "best friends" shortly after. We started texting each other almost constantly and we would hang out a lot and stuff. The only problem is that when we became close, I wanted something a bit more than that. So, after a while, I found myself in the friend zone. The thing is, I knew she didn't like me and I just kept trying to suppress my feelings. This went on for a while without too many problems until she started getting interested in another guy. She even had a little fling in the interim. (I think there were multiple but she just never told me.) I got extremely jealous and tried to hide my feelings about it but she managed to pick up on it. She felt bad for "friendzoning" me even though I didn't blame her for any of it. I said I was sorry and said I would try and get over my feelings. Eventually her love interest moved on to other women and no relationship came of it.
But I still couldn't get over my feelings. They just kept build up again and again until recently, when she started hanging out with this same guy. I got really jealous again. It got to the point where I was paranoid about her. I wanted to know what she was doing all the time and texted her in every bit of her free time.
But this week, she just stopped answering my texts. I got worried and thought that something was wrong. I would get a short conversation every day or two, but that was it. I confronted her about it this morning and she opened up to me and said I was being way too clingy and she needed some time alone.
It was then that I realized what a horrible person I have been for doing these things to her. I feel like, all this time, I've been so close to as a subconscious attempt to get her to like me back. I felt really guilty about it and admitted my realization as to why I'd been so clingy. She graciously accepted my apology and we agreed that alone time would be best for the both of us.
The question I have is whether I should continue hanging out with her or not. Obviously, I shouldn't be as close as I was trying to be, but I would still like to be good friends. My only concern is that my feelings might resurface should we get too close. I really do value our friendship and want too keep that without things become what they are again.
It is also notable that, starting tomorrow, have a class together every day and we were planning on carpooling this semester (not this week, however).
So, what do you think, FP?[/QUOTE]
I'm not saying don't be friends with the girl, but like she obviously isn't interested and it sounds like you need to take your mind off of her.
Go out and see other people, I'm sure you'll find someone else that's just as interested in you as you are with them! :)
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37315209]No, she just married someone of which that is the age gap, but they are older now so no one gives a crap.[/QUOTE]
theres a huge fucking different between people getting married with an age gap in their late twenties and someone who has [i]not gone through puberty yet[/i] dating someone who is [i]legally an adult[/i]
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37316845]theres a huge fucking different between people getting married with an age gap in their late twenties and someone who has [i]not gone through puberty yet[/i] dating someone who is [i]legally an adult[/i][/QUOTE]
it was an example.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37316845]theres a huge fucking different between people getting married with an age gap in their late twenties and someone who has [i]not gone through puberty yet[/i] dating someone who is [i]legally an adult[/i][/QUOTE]
Im going to say this again. We are not dating. Sure its a fairly large age gap, but both physically and mentally people are ussually a couple years ahead or behind their actual age. Ive talked to some of her friends and there is a reason that shes my friend.
[QUOTE=SHOE3045;37317079]Im going to say this again. We are not dating. Sure its a fairly large age gap, but both physically and mentally people are ussually a couple years ahead or behind their actual age. Ive talked to some of her friends and there is a reason that shes my friend.[/QUOTE]
if you were somehow 2 years younger both mentally and physically, and she was 2 years older both mentally and physically (which is SUPER unlikely given that nobody's really that far off of the spectrum), then you would STILL have an age gap
theres no justification for this. you're a creep taking advantage of a little girl.
its ok if thats how you want to live your life, but you have to admit it instead of trying to justify it as if it is normal
The girl I was talking about earlier just gave me her number without me even asking for it.
Oh yes!
If you casually slip the fact that you like a girl into conversation with her, what are the chances she didn't notice you said that/can't handle it and ignores it despite liking you back?
don't break my heart fp
[QUOTE=Tennisball;37317519]The girl I was talking about earlier just gave me her number without me even asking for it.
Oh yes![/QUOTE]
Its a sign
[QUOTE=Alcapwne;37317597]If you casually slip the fact that you like a girl into conversation with her, what are the chances she didn't notice you said that/can't handle it and ignores it despite liking you back?
don't break my heart fp[/QUOTE]
I'm p sure she will know exactly what you meant but she will play dumb.
[QUOTE=Spirit_Breaker;37317622]I'm p sure she will know exactly what you meant but she will play dumb.[/QUOTE]
Right, so are you saying there is hope still for me or that she's playing dumb because she doesn't want to address my unrequited love for her?
That she doesn't want to address it.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37317700]That she doesn't want to address it.[/QUOTE]
what is lifeeeee :(
Yup.
I myself have quite a conflicting feeling.
On one side I feel like jealous dick, but on the other I can't for the life of me help feeling justified for it.
[editline]20th August 2012[/editline]
Not only that, but I feel like if I would go in more detail about it, the peeps in this thread would react like they've done before.
React like they've done before? You come in here acting like you want their opinions and then ignore them, of course they're going to react on your ignorant attitude.
I've given responses like I'd been ignoring them.
But had completely ignored all that then I doubt that I'd be having conflicting feelings about it.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37316845]theres a huge fucking different between people getting married with an age gap in their late twenties and someone who has [i]not gone through puberty yet[/i] dating someone who is [i]legally an adult[/i][/QUOTE]
Dude she's 14, most girls go through puberty at like... 11. You also missed the point of what I said, and don't seem to be reading his posts very well either.
And honestly? You guys just seem to be blindly protecting her "innocence" or some crap. Why can't she talk to him about sex or anything else if she wants to? I sure as hell was not innocent in any way at that age, hell I almost had sex when I was 14, and I was the one who suggested it.(Good thing I didn't cause the guy I was dating was stupid and would not have lasted long term but you get the point)
Yeah later in life if they stop being friends she might question why the heck she was talking to this 18 year old guy but it's not going to scar her for life on anything. It's just gonna be one of those things you look back on like "well that was pretty stupid".
Honestly most middle school girls fantasize about dating guys in highschool, I know a few who actually dated in some in highschool. A few who stuck together, and many who didn't. I also know a few girls who lied about dating guys in highschool to seem "cool" or other such.
Hence, I do not see the problem with them having an open friendship.
Need some help guys. Starting college on Wednesday. I'm a pretty open person, and very energetic, but tend to go very quiet around new people. I need to make some friends in my classes for study buddies and whatnot. Suggestions?
13 not 14, and they are doing much more than just talking about sex
New roommate just backed out. That makes five people who said, "I'm definitely on board," just to change their minds later. I am really rapidly running out of time to find roommates. I'm going to lose the apartment if I can't get somebody in here soon!
Dunno what to do. I've gone through every response I got from Craigslist that looked even remotely comfortable, I've put flyers up at the coffee shop, I went through all my friends, I put in an advertisement with the college, I signed up for a roommate-finding web service; I've got jack.
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