The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37337139]if you're not interested, you tell her you're not interested. you'd be doing WAY more harm by giving her the impression you're into her than by flat out rejecting her. sure, she'd be upset for a while, but you'd be letting her move on.[/QUOTE]
Alright thanks.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37329763]But why would I be all after sex when all I've heard from my friends who have lost their virginity has been: It's a disappointment.[/QUOTE]
Because there is more to it than just getting your rocks off.
There can be intensely strong emotional connections between the two of you that are a bigger than an orgasm in the grand scheme of things.
Too many people in this thread seem to have relationships tiered off in some unrealistic system, or at least that's how it comes across.
[B]Question:[/B]
You are still finding yourself, you don't know what your future occupation will be and you don't even know what you would like to do in the future. You're a pretty fine person otherwise and most people are cooperative towards you. Is it worth the risk to try and start a relationship even if you're not really "complete" yourself?
[QUOTE=Kindlinho;37340759][B]Question:[/B]
You are still finding yourself, you don't know what your future occupation will be and you don't even know what you would like to do in the future. You're a pretty fine person otherwise and most people are cooperative towards you. Is it worth the risk to try and start a relationship even if you're not really "complete" yourself?[/QUOTE]
Yeah. A girl can reveal a lot about you and your personality.
Don't go for the kill and try to marry the first one you meet and expect every woman to be looking for a man with career and financial stability and ready for kids. It doesn't really matter at a young age.
[QUOTE=Kindlinho;37340759][B]Question:[/B]
You are still finding yourself, you don't know what your future occupation will be and you don't even know what you would like to do in the future. You're a pretty fine person otherwise and most people are cooperative towards you. Is it worth the risk to try and start a relationship even if you're not really "complete" yourself?[/QUOTE]
O.o are you planning on marriage? Why the unnecessary so-called philosophical question?
Uh. Sorry if it sounded too philosophical and serious. Actually I'm pretty sceptic about marriages and I really don't wanna get married before 30 or something. If ever.
Also she's more of a second one. I'm just afraid of getting burned, don't want her to start thinking I'm an useless bum.
i think it depends on your age. someone who's still in their late teens doesn't really need to have their whole life planned out, but if you're in your 20s you should probably have a career decided on.
that said, you don't necessarily have to be at that point before you start dating - it's just kind of a turn-off when someone doesn't appear to be moving forward with their life.
Ugh too much talk of careers it's reminding me I'm still a basement dweller in desperate need of a job.
[QUOTE=loco;37335495]Help I have aspergers and social anxiety but I'm trying to be more social. I want to try and get to know others since I don't talk to many people. I found an older lady on craigslist to play tennis with. I usually get along with seniors a lot easier than people my age so I dunno its a start I guess. Any other advice? I want to start exercising too so I thought maybe I could find an exercise partner.[/QUOTE]
i want to see that craigslist conversation
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37341594]i think it depends on your age. someone who's still in their late teens doesn't really need to have their whole life planned out, but if you're in your 20s you should probably have a career decided on.
that said, you don't necessarily have to be at that point before you start dating - it's just kind of a turn-off when someone doesn't appear to be moving forward with their life.[/QUOTE]
Just because you don't have an exact job aspiration laid down doesn't mean you're going nowhere.
I'm at the older end of 21, heading into my fourth and final year of doing Electronic Engineering. People frequently ask me what I want to do when I leave uni. Aside from getting a job doing electronic engineering (and I'm not fussy where, I'm happy to see what opportunities I can hunt down when the time comes for applying) I don't have any plan whatsoever beyond the next 6 months. Doesn't mean my life isn't going anywhere.
In short; you dont necessarily need a plan to be going somewhere.
[QUOTE=metallics;37342373]Just because you don't have an exact job aspiration laid down doesn't mean you're going nowhere.
I'm at the older end of 21, heading into my fourth and final year of doing Electronic Engineering. People frequently ask me what I want to do when I leave uni. Aside from getting a job doing electronic engineering (and I'm not fussy where, I'm happy to see what opportunities I can hunt down when the time comes for applying) I don't have any plan whatsoever beyond the next 6 months. Doesn't mean my life isn't going anywhere.
In short; you dont necessarily need a plan to be going somewhere.[/QUOTE]
i was more referring to mid-late 20s. however, if you're in your last years of college, you should have an idea of what you're planning to do with your life.
also, i didn't really mean planning out your entire life in detail, i just meant knowing what field you plan to go into, having a job, being self-sufficient, etc.
[sp]at one point i accidentally went out with a 23 year old history major, found out he couldn't drive and was unemployed, then was forced to pay for his food because he was broke.[/sp]
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37341594]it's just kind of a turn-off when someone doesn't appear to be moving forward with their life.[/QUOTE]
that's actually the reason i left my ex. i've always known (roughly) where i'm going with my career and all, and i found it difficult when he didn't have any idea where he wanted to go, and started wanted making decisions on his life based on what i was doing with mine - like with me moving down to london for a year and all that, and i just wanted him to make decisions for himself. turns out he still doesn't really know what he wants to do, but he seems to well enough at whatever job he does get, so i guess some people might never really decide on something solid.
[editline]21st August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37341680]Ugh too much talk of careers it's reminding me I'm still a basement dweller in desperate need of a job.[/QUOTE]
i thought you were 17?
[QUOTE=Autumn;37342551]that's actually the reason i left my ex. i've always known (roughly) where i'm going with my career and all, and i found it difficult when he didn't have any idea where he wanted to go, and started wanted making decisions on his life based on what i was doing with mine - like with me moving down to london for a year and all that, and i just wanted him to make decisions for himself. turns out he still doesn't really know what he wants to do, but he seems to well enough at whatever job he does get, so i guess some people might never really decide on something solid.[/QUOTE]
i was in a similar situation with my ex - we started dating when we were in high school and 3 years later i realized he was still the exact same person he was when i had met him. he was 20 when i broke up with him. he wasn't in college, didn't have a job, and didn't have any intention of living independently from his parents.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37341680]Ugh too much talk of careers it's reminding me I'm still a basement dweller in desperate need of a job.[/QUOTE]
if you're going to college, you should look into getting a job on campus.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37342506]i was more referring to mid-late 20s. however, if you're in your last years of college, you should have an idea of what you're planning to do with your life.
also, i didn't really mean planning out your entire life in detail, i just meant knowing what field you plan to go into, having a job, being self-sufficient, etc.
[sp]at one point i accidentally went out with a 23 year old history major, found out he couldn't drive and was unemployed, then was forced to pay for his food because he was broke.[/sp][/QUOTE]
I literally have no idea. I do however know that there are hoards of big companies out there with graduate schemes with places, rolls royce, ARM, National Grid, BAE or one of hundreds of sub-contractors etc. that will have places going or there are a pile of other smaller companies looking for engineers, some local, some not and I'd be happy in any so I'm content to see whats going when my degree is done and worry about it all later. I don't have a plan, but I'm still going somewhere.
[QUOTE=metallics;37342745]I literally have no idea. I do however know that there are hoards of big companies out there with graduate schemes with places, rolls royce, ARM, National Grid, BAE or one of hundreds of sub-contractors etc. that will have places going or there are a pile of other smaller companies looking for engineers, some local, some not and I'd be happy in any so I'm content to see whats going when my degree is done and worry about it all later. I don't have a plan, but I'm still going somewhere.[/QUOTE]
this doesn't really affect my argument. i still consider that sort of ignorance to one's future extremely unattractive in someone who's in their 20s.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37342833]this doesn't really affect my argument. i still consider that sort of ignorance to one's future extremely unattractive in someone who's in their 20s.[/QUOTE]
A good job attracting you is not one of my non-existent life goals then :v
Good post. I think what your perception of what you should end up with is what you end up with. If you think you will end up with a trashy girlfriend... guess what? You will.
[QUOTE=metallics;37342877]A good job attracting you is not one of my non-existent life goals then :v[/QUOTE]
i didn't mean to come off as an ass.
even if you're confident you'll be able to find a job, the fact that you haven't done any research on careers makes it sound like you aren't interested in the field you're going into.
[QUOTE=davidfrom;37342902]Good post. I think what your perception of what you should end up with is what you end up with. If you think you will end up with a trashy girlfriend... guess what? You will.[/QUOTE]
huh?
[QUOTE=Autumn;37342551]
i thought you were 17?[/QUOTE]
Well I've graduated high school and will be 18 uhh... tomorrow actually :v:
My mother and older sister( whom assumes she has authority over me) have been stressing me to get a job since I was 14 (when my sister got a job), and have been outright trying to force me since I was 16.
Never the less, I do actually feel I should get a job now, I certainly don't have studies as an excuse to keep putting it off.
To be honest the reason I haven't given in to pressure and gotten one sooner just to get them off my back is I am terrified of it. Terrified of interviews and terrified of messing up said job once I get it. I'm a very nervous person to be honest even if others IRL do not notice it when I am.
(Heck I was freaking out when I was the one interviewing art colleges who were trying to impress me not the other way around :v:)
[quote]if you're going to college, you should look into getting a job on campus.[/quote]
Too bad the college I'm going to is super small. They don't really have spare jobs :v:
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37343069]i didn't mean to come off as an ass.
even if you're confident you'll be able to find a job, the fact that you haven't done any research on careers makes it sound like you aren't interested in the field you're going into.
huh?[/QUOTE]
I never said I hadn't done any research! Don't get me wrong, I love designing electronics, I've done enough research into all the companies I listed to know I'll be happy in any of them and that when I finish there will be opportunities for me to go into any of them.
[QUOTE=metallics;37343110]I never said I hadn't done any research! Don't get me wrong, I love designing electronics, I've done enough research into all the companies I listed to know I'll be happy in any of them and that when I finish there will be opportunities for me to go into any of them.[/QUOTE]
maybe we had a bit of miscommunication. by my standards, it sounds like you've done some planning, after all. it's good to hear you're looking forward to getting a job.
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37343105]Well I've graduated high school and will be 18 uhh... tomorrow actually :v:[/QUOTE]
happy birthday!
This is, like the most trivial of problems, but should I take a backpack tomorrow when I go out with this girl? Because like I might need to put my jacket somewhere and stuff. I dunno :v:
[QUOTE=Tennisball;37344256]This is, like the most trivial of problems, but should I take a backpack tomorrow when I go out with this girl? Because like I might need to put my jacket somewhere and stuff. I dunno :v:[/QUOTE]
if the only extra thing you're taking is a jacket, then don't take a backpack. infact, unless you really *really* need to, don't take a backpack. it's a bit kiddy/schooly
you can just carry your jacket if you don't need it, there's nothing wrong with that
[QUOTE=Tennisball;37344256]This is, like the most trivial of problems, but should I take a backpack tomorrow when I go out with this girl? Because like I might need to put my jacket somewhere and stuff. I dunno :v:[/QUOTE]
You can just carry your jacket if you don't need it, and store all your other shit in the pockets. Unless you're actually coming directly from school/work, bringing a backpack is a bit weird.
If your jacket gets too hot just put it over your shoulder.
Label me as the biggest moron on Facepunch. Did one of the most dumbest mistakes in my life.
so I'm at college now and i met this two girls. one is named mary and the other is named kaitlyn. I'm definitely more into mary but kaitlyn is definitively into me and I think mary kind of likes me too but is wingmaning for kaitlyn. every time I try and text-flirt mary she goes, "kaitlyn is pissed you didn't answer" and every time I try and hang out with mary, kaitlyns there. what do
[QUOTE=Dark RaveN;37346990]Label me as the biggest moron on Facepunch. Did one of the most dumbest mistakes in my life.[/QUOTE]
Nobody's going to buy you a title if you don't elaborate a bit.
i dont like posts like that
obviously we are gonna ask what you did so why not just tell us in the first place??
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37347025]Nobody's going to buy you a title if you don't elaborate a bit.[/QUOTE]
Made my girlfriend cry because [b]I just felt I wanted to[/b]. Was drunk. Decided to quit alcohol. I finally realized I have no control over myself at this state.
She forgave me, but I do not believe it was sincere, and even if it was, I'm not worthy her. Because she's the most precious thing I've ever had and I joked with it around like it's nothing. Things just don't work like that, and me, blind idiot, did not even consider it.
Just wanted to vent off.
[editline]21st August 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37347092]i dont like posts like that
obviously we are gonna ask what you did so why not just tell us in the first place??[/QUOTE]
I guess I'm dumber than that.
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