The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
I wonder what it is like to watch people disscuss a disorder you have from an outside perspective...
If memnoth deems to come back at some point I would be curious to hear about that.
Ive met one or two other people IRL with disorders on that spectrum, but never felt I should press it in the school environment to find out anything like that.
[QUOTE=thisispain;37364318]uh if he's diagnosed with autism by an actual doctor person, then he's likely getting treatment.
and again you somehow think that forum posts are going to fix a physiological disorder. he can't work on the problem as much as a person with a broken leg can fix his own leg.
i know that the internet-crawler people are skeptical of autism (seems ironic to me) but it's not a made up thing. go read up on the many reports and studies into autism before you start making assumptions.
as if FP was even remotely qualified to help people with autism. looking at this thread i can very clearly and assertively say we are not qualified.[/QUOTE]
If you want to tell him to gtfo be my guest, I'm just saying don't ignore the problem. You are looping me with those who are purposely making fun of him, I'm not supporting that either.
uhh, pretty sure the last thing he was suggesting was to tell him to "gtfo"...
anyway, onwards with discussion, instead of going round and around?
I wondered why this thread exploded.
People are talking about how some kid is talking weird. Interesting.
no WERIDOs allowed!!
[QUOTE=G3rman;37364244]It doesn't fix it obviously, but if the person isn't willing to at least work on the problem and just blame it on his condition then how can he expect to interact with people at all?[/QUOTE]
It does not work like that at all
As Thisispain said we're obviously not qualified to help people - so as far as I'm concerned the only thing I'm going to do and the only thing everyone here should do is legitimately be nice people to the guy and help him out when he asks for advice. I'd much rather spend 5 minutes in conversation with someone with aspergers than I would with a total asshole, and considering the last few pages, I can safely say I'd rather spend 5 minutes in conversation with Memnoth then I would with half the users in this thread
I've never been in a relationship before and people call me the relationship advice guru, it's pretty funny.
that's not funny at all
It's just sad.
All aboard the DISAPPOINTMENT TRAIN, next stop NO CONFIDENCE LAND
Go to work today an hour early (thought I was scheduled to come in at that time), but that wasn't so bad for me. Kind of glad I did actually. Or well, I would have been glad...
Anyway, the girl I like comes in an hour later (the time I really was supposed to come in), and things couldn't have been set up any better. She gets gas and comes into the store to get a drink. By the time she gets her drink and gets to the register we're the only two in the store.
I didn't spaghetti all over or anything (I guess that's what you'd call it?), but instead all I did was hold a normal, short conversation with her instead of actually asking her if she had the week off or something. I was so nervous to ask and I wasn't sure how to go about saying it. It seemed so easy in my head but once she got up to the counter it was like "Oh god how to words"
I am such a loser :(
[editline]23rd August 2012[/editline]
With that said, I got to spend the next 8 hours at work thinking about what I just did
or didn't do
depends on how you look at it
As posted a few pages back:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frcCss2JfxI[/media]
This is now your themesong. You'll ask her out next time you see her, period.
I've been talking to my gf lately and finally invited her over to my house for the first time, only for a few hours she'll be over but im glad im finally having her over.
Its been since i have been reading this thread and the "sex, girlfriends and shit.." thread, they have both motivated me to step-up my self confidence and im glad i have because its making me more confident in my relationship, i have been saying "yes" to far more activities than i normally would because i need to stop regretting things and just go for it. Thank you fellow facepunchers <3
[QUOTE=Disseminate;37368077]As posted a few pages back:
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frcCss2JfxI[/media]
This is now your themesong. You'll ask her out next time you see her, period.[/QUOTE]
Now I want to watch that movie :v:
But thanks, this song will probably pop into my head next time I see her.
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;37367440]I've never been in a relationship before and people call me the relationship advice guru, it's pretty funny.[/QUOTE]
No it's not. Before I had my first real relationship, I was helping people out for years. I actually counseled a couple for about a year, and helped them through multiple, huge, fights. Now they're engaged. So It's surprisingly not as out of place as you might think.
First day went well. We only really talked about the syllabus and whatnot, and I have my other classes today. I noticed that I have a hard time initiating conversation with people. I can never find out how. Also, when I do I find myself stumbling over my words sometimes, especially if that person is attractive. What kind of irks me is that while being class, I am content with being alone/not talking to anybody. Being outside of the classroom makes me realize that I was being anti-social, etc etc. I try my hardest to stay out of groups where I have to meet new people, and when I hear that we have a group assignment, I feel myself panic on the inside.
You've identified the problem and the solution all that's left is to do it.
[QUOTE=Bamfan;37372057]First day went well. We only really talked about the syllabus and whatnot, and I have my other classes today. I noticed that I have a hard time initiating conversation with people. I can never find out how. Also, when I do I find myself stumbling over my words sometimes, especially if that person is attractive. What kind of irks me is that while being class, I am content with being alone/not talking to anybody. Being outside of the classroom makes me realize that I was being anti-social, etc etc. I try my hardest to stay out of groups where I have to meet new people, and when I hear that we have a group assignment, I feel myself panic on the inside.[/QUOTE]
Intros are always the hardest part. You just have to find something in common, start talking and hopefully conversation will blossom.
How do you guys usually deal with a girl who's giving you mixed signals?
In face-to-face contact, she's very responsive and eager to talk, but when we're apart, and I text her, she's very cold and usually gives one or two word responses. I still don't know her very well, so what should I do?
[QUOTE=TearJerker;37374271]How do you guys usually deal with a girl who's giving you mixed signals?
In face-to-face contact, she's very responsive and eager to talk, but when we're apart, and I text her, she's very cold and usually gives one or two word responses. I still don't know her very well, so what should I do?[/QUOTE]
umm you know most of us read both this and sex girlfriends and shit..
since you have an ex who wants to get back together, and this girl you have no idea whether she likes you or not, why not just go for the ex?
Alright. And well don't I feel silly.
aaaaa
i might've made a friend
i noticed a girl in my calculus class had newegg as her homepage on her laptop and her wallpaper was from a video game. after class i asked if she was a pc gamer, it turns out she played wow seriously for a few years and is into guild wars. we talked about games for a bit and are hopefully going to play gw2 together
my first female friend!
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37376500]aaaaa
i might've made a friend
i noticed a girl in my calculus class had newegg as her homepage on her laptop and her wallpaper was from a video game. after class i asked if she was a pc gamer, it turns out she played wow seriously for a few years and is into guild wars. we talked about games for a bit and are hopefully going to play gw2 together
my first female friend![/QUOTE]
okay just play it cool for a while but when you ask her out make sure it's in person and not over GW
email her shock images to fortify your love <3
After mentally trying to picture and describe the hypothetical change in the levels of plasma-concentrations in the blood system by causing reaction by ingesting combinations of several drugs at once. Just so I can exercise on learning it myself by typing it. Though I failed miserably since I was highly tweaked on amphetamine when I started typing, which made me constantly distracted. Which lead to that time itself manipulated my decision to take enough pills to the point where I eventually became so confused at what I was writing I deleted half of it and started over. The frustration by trying to type entire sentences while having drug-related memory problems to the point that you forget the ending of the sentence while typing half-way.
It's like trying to build a sand castle in the middle of a sidewalk, no matter how ingenious you'd like to think you've established the foundation. There will always be rage and complaints at a perceived manifestation of evil, which of course is really just a busy individual accidentally stumbling over your proud constructive art.
It just occurred to me that this is not even close to what I came here to type originally.
I also read through the last page, and noticed compassion and understanding. This hit me with a comforting emotion, which also proposed the following hypothesis: Empathy can only be pragmatically used if it's stimulated by perceiving another persons emotional condition. Having trouble reading empathy puts you in an almost blank emotional state since the mirror neurons does not react enough to produce a behavior of conforming. This behavior probably resemblance arrogance to some people. So when the discussion heated up my process of empathy conformed to simply mimicking the frustration and anger which created the relevant personification of the situation. So since my empathy picks up the emotional depth of understanding and compassion, I subconsciously establish the persona of being mentally conformed to that group behavior. I also figure since I understand what changes my behavior in social situations and why, then maybe I have gained personal development in the sense of evaluating contagious emotions before I react.
[QUOTE=SparkDog;37376547]GW[/QUOTE]
Is it bad that, at first, I thought you meant Games Workshop?
Actually, I wonder if anyone has ever asked a girl out while in a Games Workshop store?
[QUOTE=Memnoth;37361629]It seems that a valid hypothesis could be that my brain gets overwhelmed with stress hormones when I try because I'm not used to human contact, which would explain erratic behavior.[/QUOTE]
That'll go away rather quickly with a high sustained dose of interaction.
[QUOTE=Memnoth;37361871]I apologize to everyone for my weird behavior, it seems I should get help with stress and anxiety related problems first. Need to spend some time in social isolation to process emotions now.[/QUOTE]
It's not your fault. Remember, stress is created by the mind, it doesn't actually exist. Tell yourself you're going to try to just enjoy being with people, like you want to. Grieving is a poor use of time compared to just confronting what causes it.
[QUOTE=Memnoth;37378998]After mentally trying to picture and describe the hypothetical change in the levels of plasma-concentrations in the blood system by causing reaction by ingesting combinations of several drugs at once. Just so I can exercise on learning it myself by typing it. Though I failed miserably since I was highly tweaked on amphetamine when I started typing, which made me constantly distracted. Which lead to that time itself manipulated my decision to take enough pills to the point where I eventually became so confused at what I was writing I deleted half of it and started over. The frustration by trying to type entire sentences while having drug-related memory problems to the point that you forget the ending of the sentence while typing half-way.
It's like trying to build a sand castle in the middle of a sidewalk, no matter how ingenious you'd like to think you've established the foundation. There will always be rage and complaints at a perceived manifestation of evil, which of course is really just a busy individual accidentally stumbling over your proud constructive art.
It just occurred to me that this is not even close to what I came here to type originally.
I also read through the last page, and noticed compassion and understanding. This hit me with a comforting emotion, which also proposed the following hypothesis: Empathy can only be pragmatically used if it's stimulated by perceiving another persons emotional condition. Having trouble reading empathy puts you in an almost blank emotional state since the mirror neurons does not react enough to produce a behavior of conforming. This behavior probably resemblance arrogance to some people. So when the discussion heated up my process of empathy conformed to simply mimicking the frustration and anger which created the relevant personification of the situation. So since my empathy picks up the emotional depth of understanding and compassion, I subconsciously establish the persona of being mentally conformed to that group behavior. I also figure since I understand what changes my behavior in social situations and why, then maybe I have gained personal development in the sense of evaluating contagious emotions before I react.[/QUOTE]
Conformity is a central part of being human. As far as I can tell, you're doing a fine job of reading emotions. Just keep your sentences relatively short for now and we should be able to understand you even better.
[QUOTE=and;37380037]That'll go away rather quickly with a high sustained dose of interaction.
It's not your fault. Remember, stress is created by the mind, it doesn't actually exist. Tell yourself you're going to try to just enjoy being with people, like you want to. Grieving is a poor use of time compared to just confronting what causes it.
Conformity is a central part of being human. As far as I can tell, you're doing a fine job of reading emotions. Just keep your sentences relatively short for now and we should be able to understand you even better.[/QUOTE]
Thank you, that actually made me feel less anxious and more calm.
A girl I used to work with texted me last night and we were talking about something, and then she casually mentioned that we should go out for drinks again (we went out for drinks once before a couple months ago before she quit), and I replied saying yeah that would be great, etc. It's over 8 hours later and she hasn't replied. I'm not really sure what to say since I don't want to sound like desperate to go for drinks or anything. I thought I would give it some time, but it's been a while and maybe I should say something without sounding desperate.
"So how about we go to X bar on Yday for drinks?"
You never actually asked her for drinks, you just said (from what you posted) "yeah drinks sometime sounds great"
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37376500]aaaaa
i might've made a friend
i noticed a girl in my calculus class had newegg as her homepage on her laptop and her wallpaper was from a video game. after class i asked if she was a pc gamer, it turns out she played wow seriously for a few years and is into guild wars. we talked about games for a bit and are hopefully going to play gw2 together
my first female friend![/QUOTE]
i didnt know that was such a big deal? ive played vid games with plenty of lady friends
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