• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
I guess you could ignore the (II) though since it's the most common one. [editline]1st September 2012[/editline] automergeeeee
This thread is getting way into chemistry.
[QUOTE=areolop;37488102]This thread is getting way into chemistry.[/QUOTE] are you an alkali metal, because you're getting [i]highly reactive[/i] to this thread's topic OHHHH [sp]sorry i couldn't come up with anything better[/sp]
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37488758]are you an alkali metal, because you're getting [i]highly reactive[/i] to this thread's topic OHHHH [sp]sorry i couldn't come up with anything better[/sp][/QUOTE] I'm more of a noble gas. I dont react to anything with ease
I just started my advance chemistry course, I still don't know any of the funny chem jokes memorized yet :(
[QUOTE=areolop;37488769]I'm more of a noble gas. I dont react to anything with ease[/QUOTE] then you must be XeF5−, because you're pretty [i]negative[/i] [editline]31st August 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=ScoutKing;37488952]I just started my advance chemistry course, I still don't know any of the funny chem jokes memorized yet :([/QUOTE] my jokes are 100% original (c) guy mannly do not steal
would you all shut up i'm sulphuring here
are you a photon because you're pretty light
Can somebody just shoot me please (don't really shoot me I'm not that bad) because I'm never going to have the confidence to ask this girl out I got off work and I was talking to my cashier friend about a game. Whenever someone comes up to the cash register we stop talking so he can ring the person up and everything. Well, the girl I like walks up to the register and I'm standing right next to her. I didn't even see her come in. I fucking froze. I'm pretty sure I just kicked myself into autopilot and only asked her how she was doing. After she left I felt like I couldn't stick around any more so I said bye to my friend and left too. I feel like such a fucking loser. I want the confidence to ask her to hang out myself but I feel like I just don't have it in me to do it...
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37471060]you dont have to spend the night researching all of someone's interests to hold a casual conversation[/QUOTE] I know I'm late but this. At least to me, it sparks a longer conversation if you ask them directly. Shows directly that you're interested in what they like. Speaking of which, I got a problem of my own. Finnish culture is pretty standard in Scandinavia. And by standard I mean antisocial as fuck in public. If you don't know someone, talking to them just like that is considered odd if not creepy. Just walking up to someone and asking them out feels more of a non-option than it would somewhere else. I'm interested in someone. I don't know her name, her age, all I know is that she goes to the same school as I do. In fact it's the only place I've seen her at with my own eyes. I'm not even sure what grade she's on, but I'd guess it's 1-2 years below me. It's okay, I could somewhat deal with all this still. Since we're most likely on different grades [sp](me being 2nd year in high school and her...probably 1st year or 9th grade)[/sp] our work times at school are different. Catching her when she's going home isn't really an option there unless I go for trial and error. [sp](waiting outside school for hours to see when her day ends, just the thought of it makes me think of it as creepy)[/sp] All right, kinda difficult but I'm sure I could still try it. The final nail in the coffin is that the only time and place I actually see her in is the school hallways during breaks, surrounded by a group of friends. Sure, it's nice that there's so many friends, right? [B][U]Nope.[/U][/B] The second an outsider tries to enter that circle, everyone will quiet down and begin a death stare contest, absorbing every word and stutter possible [sp](not saying I'd stutter, just making a point)[/sp] to gossip about it for two weeks afterwards and laugh about it. I've seen it happen before, albeit it was their friend or something interrupting their chatter. Now, gossiping and laughing about it behind my back isn't a real problem but the fact that I can't spot a time and place with more privacy is a bit of a problem for me. Oh and I'm not worried about what I'm gonna talk about, I'm worried about where I'm gonna talk to her about stuff and maybe arrange something on free time. [sp](I think I got enough confidence to not worry about spilling spaghetti all over my shoes anymore)[/sp] Any advice you guys could give me?
[QUOTE=slayer20;37489569]Can somebody just shoot me please because I'm never going to have the confidence to ask this girl out I got off work and I was talking to my cashier friend about a game. Whenever someone comes up to the cash register we stop talking so he can ring the person up and everything. Well, the girl I like walks up to the register and I'm standing right next to her. I didn't even see her come in. I fucking froze. I'm pretty sure I just kicked myself into autopilot and only asked her how she was doing. After she left I felt like I couldn't stick around any more so I said bye to my friend and left too. I feel like such a fucking loser. I want the confidence to ask her to hang out myself but I feel like I just don't have it in me to do it...[/QUOTE] Well, what works for me if I have problems with confidence is basically two things. First, I try to just keep repeating to myself repeatedly that she's another human being like anyone else. Just talk to her. It basically just comes down to trying to not mentally blow things out of proportion into something much larger than it should be. I know that it's extremely hard from your point of view, so... I don't know. I guess tell me how regularly you two talk. Are you friends who see each other often, or acquaintances who say hi, sometimes talk but that's about the end of it? Look into basically teaching yourself that she's just another person, just that you like her. Second, when actually asking someone out, it's not necessarily that difficult. I know, again, from your perspective it's the hugest obstacle in the world, but remember, you're just asking to hang out. Just like if you ask your friend if he wants to see a movie with you or come on over. The only difference is that you like her, and that's what's scary. So if the first thing I mentioned helps at all, then this should become easier. If you're scared of being friendzoned and you simply want to rush into asking her out, don't be afraid of becoming friends first. That will definitely help, which should help with the aforementioned fear from you liking her. If this sounds like I assumed anything wrongly, I apologize; I'm just going off what I know from what you said. I hope this helps though.
[QUOTE=x_xPwntx_x;37489701]Well, what works for me if I have problems with confidence is basically two things. First, I try to just keep repeating to myself repeatedly that she's another human being like anyone else. Just talk to her. It basically just comes down to trying to not mentally blow things out of proportion into something much larger than it should be. I know that it's extremely hard from your point of view, so... I don't know.[B] I guess tell me how regularly you two talk. Are you friends who see each other often, or acquaintances who say hi, sometimes talk but that's about the end of it?[/B] Look into basically teaching yourself that she's just another person, just that you like her.[/quote] I first met her through her mom. Her mom and I work at the same place, and one day she was having problems with her laptop so I said I could over to her house and fix it (which I did). I didn't actually meet my crush there. It wasn't until later when her mom invited me over for a movie. I didn't instantly fall in love(?) there when I saw her, but after I came over a few times and we talked about stuff after watching some movies I realized how smart and deep-thoughted(is that a word?) she was. Finding someone like that in this town is basically a god send to me, which is what I keep trying to tell myself and I don't want to be too late and find out she's already dating someone else. I mean, I was told by her mom that she said she isn't looking to date anyone, but like someone else said, I could be the game changer. I would like to get to know her more first and I certainly don't want to rush asking her out on a date. I'm just afraid of saying the wrong thing that would make her not want to hang out with me at all. My first step is to just hang out together.
[QUOTE=Repulsion;37487643]what are the apparently not-ghetto good schools then. I seriously know nothing about any of this[/QUOTE] everything near seaworld lol
It's interesting how according to the girl I'm starting to go out with, when she talks to me at school versus when we're hanging out "in the real world" I'm a completely different person. According to her she thinks I put up a lot of emotional barriers at school because of the douchebags I have to be around.
[QUOTE=kaine123;37489975]It's interesting how according to the girl I'm starting to go out with, when she talks to me at school versus when we're hanging out "in the real world" I'm a completely different person. According to her she thinks I put up a lot of emotional barriers at school because of the douchebags I have to be around.[/QUOTE] I think everyone has an emotional barrier at school, or at least act different in the school environment than they would else where.
[QUOTE=slayer20;37489798]I first met her through her mom. Her mom and I work at the same place, and one day she was having problems with her laptop so I said I could over to her house and fix it (which I did). I didn't actually meet my crush there. It wasn't until later when her mom invited me over for a movie. I didn't instantly fall in love(?) there when I saw her, but after I came over a few times and we talked about stuff after watching some movies I realized how smart and deep-thoughted(is that a word?) she was. Finding someone like that in this town is basically a god send to me, which is what I keep trying to tell myself and I don't want to be too late and find out she's already dating someone else. I mean, I was told by her mom that she said she isn't looking to date anyone, but like someone else said, I could be the game changer. I would like to get to know her more first and I certainly don't want to rush asking her out on a date. I'm just afraid of saying the wrong thing that would make her not want to hang out with me at all. My first step is to just hang out together.[/QUOTE] go for it man. if there's anything to be lost if she says no, it's HER time spent with you even if your town might be tiny, there are still plenty of ways to just hang out besides seeing a movie together, it can be as casual as you want it to be. you're the one who has the power to make it all happen
Man it's weird seeing as this is the first time I've been in a "relationship" It's interesting because I've never put much thought into what exactly "love" and a relationship means. From what I've observed about my parents in their 20 or so years of happy marriage and the positive examples from family and other various "successful" relationships that I think I have a basic understanding of what a relationship is. Also I hate how so many people in my age group (High School) confuse love with infatuation. Sorry if I sound like an idiot it's just that I'm not the best at talking about emotional topics. What do you guys think?
[QUOTE=kaine123;37490426]Man it's weird seeing as this is the first time I've been in a "relationship" It's interesting because I've never put much thought into what exactly "love" and a relationship means. From what I've observed about my parents in their 20 or so years of happy marriage and the positive examples from family and other various "successful" relationships that I think I have a basic understanding of what a relationship is. Also I hate how so many people in my age group (High School) confuse love with infatuation. Sorry if I sound like an idiot it's just that I'm not the best at talking about emotional topics. What do you guys think?[/QUOTE] it's hard for them not to confuse the two, they're pretty new to relationships. in time, through pain and heartbreak, they'll figure out how to separate the two. until then, you'll just have to support them and be happy for them whenever they say they're in love
infatuation is a type of love. everyone experiences it to some extent when they start a relationship, whether they acknowledge it or not. [editline]31st August 2012[/editline] as for marital love.. after a few years of a relationship, the hormones caused by being around your partner (aka infatuation) die off. a huge part of marriage is making the choice to act loving toward your partner, even when they're driving you batshit insane.
I'd say that both my parents are happy together. Though it is pretty sad that too many of my friends have divorced parents.
i didn't mean that once you're married you're eventually going to hate each other, you'll just probably need a lot more space than you did before and will be more likely to get into arguments. it's been shown that your own behavior toward another person has a huge impact on how you feel toward them (the ben franklin effect). as such, when someone in a marriage acts loving toward their partner even though they're not necessarily in the mood to behave that way, they'll feel more inclined to act loving in the future. [editline]1st September 2012[/editline] also, most divorces occur within the first 5 years of marriage.
Marriage is not about love.. its about 'making compromises' and finding ways to not piss the other half off over the course of 30 years. Speaking of which, while playing BF3 today in the mid-afternoon a man was chatting it up (friendly) with everyone. So we were chatting about everything until he reviles that he is 20 and married. He married a girl that hes known since they were both 12. Its just gotta be something with marriage that you just 'know' that its going to work.
[QUOTE=areolop;37490726] Its just gotta be something with marriage that you just 'know' that its going to work.[/QUOTE] Too bad divorce statistics show that a large section of the population were wrong in the "know" department. Apparently your ability to 'know' gets worse everytime you choose to slip the ring on. I know my parents got it wrong multiple times. Moms on the third marriage, has broken off a wedding before too. Dad is on his fourth. Step-dad is on his second. Both of my Aunts are on their second. Most of my friends at school parents are on their 2nd marriage or divorced. Marriage has a nasty connotation to me, at least in the end results. It would take a very special person to get me to budge in that direction. That probably makes me a splerg or some shit.
it just takes an amount of effort that a lot of people aren't willing to put into it to make it work. i'd imagine many people expect their partner to make them happy to be around for the rest of their life, and they call it quits when they realize that they don't get the same joy from their relationship that they used to.
I'm a very quiet person typically aside from my friends. I don't exactly talk to people unless I need too. If people talk to me I respond. I've never been able to maintain a conversation.
[QUOTE=Zarjk;37491169]I'm a very quiet person typically aside from my friends. I don't exactly talk to people unless I need too. If people talk to me I respond. I've never been able to maintain a conversation.[/QUOTE] - practise practise practise: the less conversation you have, the less conversation you can hold - get out of your comfort zone: talk to people even if you don't need to. just do it, talk about the weather or the class or the assignment or the current events or politics or something that they can relate to. - you hesitate, you masturbate: if you hold yourself back from saying something, you're overthinking
Why do girls hardly ever start conversations?
[QUOTE=Leader of Me;37491392]Why do girls hardly ever start conversations?[/QUOTE] probably because of the way you're acting? I know a shit ton of girls who start conversations all the time without knowing you that well. Albeit they're all my friends now.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;37491291]- practise practise practise: the less conversation you have, the less conversation you can hold - get out of your comfort zone: talk to people even if you don't need to. just do it, talk about the weather or the class or the assignment or the current events or politics or something that they can relate to. - you hesitate, you masturbate: if you hold yourself back from saying something, you're overthinking[/QUOTE] i asked a question about an assignment, that was it. i'll try to talk more when i get the chance
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;37491442]probably because of the way you're acting? I know a shit ton of girls who start conversations all the time without knowing you that well. Albeit they're all my friends now. The better question is, why do the girls that i find attractive never start conversations?[/QUOTE] It's not just me, nearly every guy I talk to always complains about woman never starting conversations.
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