• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=lotusking;37549149]beep boop seithbot 5000[/QUOTE] "lotusking I am a fucking retard, please ignore me giving you dumb ratings"
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37548055]i don't want anything to really happen i just want to tell her that's it[/QUOTE] if you don't want anything to happen then why tell her? all you'll be doing is worsening the situation and making her feel awkward for no good reason.
[QUOTE=lotusking;37549149]beep boop seithbot 5000[/QUOTE] of all the times to use that joke this was not it
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37550774]if you don't want anything to happen then why tell her? all you'll be doing is worsening the situation and making her feel awkward for no good reason.[/QUOTE] After much consideration i'm going out of town and meet her and eat some fancy burgers and get it off the chest this friday, i got nothing to lose anyway
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37550861]i got nothing to lose anyway[/QUOTE] except risking alienating her and possibly her not wanting to hang out again
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37550861]After much consideration i'm going out of town and meet her and eat some fancy burgers and get it off the chest this friday, i got nothing to lose anyway[/QUOTE] it's an incredibly dickish move to just throw that out there and make her feel bad because you just feel like it. if you really loved this girl you'd actually give a shit about not needlessly hurting her feelings.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37550938]it's an incredibly dickish move to just throw that out there and make her feel bad because you just feel like it. if you really loved this girl you'd actually give a shit about not needlessly hurting her feelings.[/QUOTE] Okay.. What exactly do you think i'm going to tell her
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37551686]Okay.. What exactly do you think i'm going to tell her[/QUOTE] it doesn't matter how you word it, telling her that you did/still have strong feelings for her is not going to help your friendship at all, quite the contrary
[QUOTE=Autumn;37551750]it doesn't matter how you word it, telling her that you did/still have strong feelings for her is not going to help your friendship at all, quite the contrary[/QUOTE] we're both 21, she's not 15 she can handle these things pretty well, she might be shocked but we're both mature young adults, she aspires to be a comedian, and she has bigger (metaphorical) balls than i have to be honest, and our friendship is as solid as it was years ago only we don't hang out as often, it's a cycle of life. But i'm kind of baffled by you guys though, love is a beautiful thing meant to be shared, even though mine is practically dead doesn't mean you can't tell the person how you felt in the past, mainly because the past is the past, I've talked to some friends and they all support this, so maybe it's a cultural thing, i don't really know where you guys are from and how you handle these situations, still i have nothing to lose because as I've said there is absolutely no chance of this wrecking a friendship, at least not with this lady, i'll bet my balls on the table! For gods sake after her mother died she was like 14, of course she grieved like anyone else would but she kept her entire family from falling apart, hell, she kept ME from falling apart when i was in the low, she has literally no insecurities, she's not perfect, but she's a better person than myself and everyone I've ever met. She also not stupid, she probably knew, she reads people pretty well. I know this isn't the best thing ever to do but sure beats doing nothing lol
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37551975]we're both 21, she's not 15 she can handle these things pretty well, she might be shocked but we're both mature young adults, she aspires to be a comedian, and she has bigger (metaphorical) balls than i have to be honest, and our friendship is as solid as it was years ago only we don't hang out as often, it's a cycle of life. But i'm kind of baffled by you guys though, love is a beautiful thing meant to be shared, even though mine is practically dead doesn't mean you can't tell the person how you felt in the past, mainly because the past is the past, I've talked to some friends and they all support this, so maybe it's a cultural thing, i don't really know where you guys are from and how you handle these situations, still i have nothing to lose because as I've said there is absolutely no chance of this wrecking a friendship, at least not with this lady, i'll bet my balls on the table! For gods sake after her mother died she was like 14, of course she grieved like anyone else would but she kept her entire family from falling apart, hell, she kept ME from falling apart when i was in the low, she has literally no insecurities, she's not perfect, but she's a better person than myself and everyone I've ever met. She also not stupid, she probably knew, she reads people pretty well. I know this isn't the best thing ever to do but sure beats doing nothing lol[/QUOTE] What are you on about, how on earth does it beat doing nothing. The only thing it can possibly do is mess up your friendship, and she probably won't appreciate being told like that if she doesn't feel the same way. Your better off just leaving it.
[QUOTE=Gump;37552023]What are you on about, how on earth does it beat doing nothing. The only thing it can possibly do is mess up your friendship, and she probably won't appreciate being told like that if she doesn't feel the same way. Your better off just leaving it.[/QUOTE] fine friday i'll post back on how it goes, if it goes like you think it will go i will .. well it won't, i'm not even worried lol
Gump, did you not read his post? He said he knows her well enough to know that saying he still has feelings for her won't ruin their friendship. To be honest, I'm sort of neutral regarding the whole thing. At the end of the day, DrBreen knows the situation better than any of us. If he wants to keep his feelings to him self, well and good. If he wants to tell her how he still has feelings for her, that's fine. I don't get what the big fuss is about, and I don't understand why you all seem to think it's such an abhorrent act. Maybe I've missed a few posts of this discussion, maybe I shouldn't be jumping in and voicing an opinion, but from what I've seen, people are getting anal over a non-existent problem. Starting an argument from nothing, making a mountain out of a molehill. There's literally nothing wrong with him telling his good friend that he still harbours feelings for her, especially when he's said that he knows it [I]won't[/I] affect the friendship. For other people to lash out at DrBreen for choosing to do what he's going to do, I find it just plain old crazy. At the end of the day, we aren't aware of someone's situation as much as they are. All we can do is work from the facts that the poster has given us, and from what DrBreen has said, there really isn't any problem in him going ahead with the whole "I still have feelings for you" plan. But still, it seems like you asked for advice yet had already made your mind up (DrBreen). You asked if you should sweep it under the rug, to which a few people said yes, yet you didn't follow the advice. Also, to you saying that you don't want anything to come out of this, is that entirely true? Perhaps a small part of you hopes that - by telling her you still have feelings for her - that a relationship will come from it. I don't know, I'm just trying to make sense of it. Because really, telling her just for the heck of it, I don't understand why you'd want to unless you were hoping for the possibility of being together with her.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37552107]Gump, did you not read his post? He said he knows her well enough to know that saying he still has feelings for her won't ruin their friendship. To be honest, I'm sort of neutral regarding the whole thing. At the end of the day, DrBreen knows the situation better than any of us. If he wants to keep his feelings to him self, well and good. If he wants to tell her how he still has feelings for her, that's fine. I don't get what the big fuss is about, and I don't understand why you all seem to think it's such an abhorrent act. Maybe I've missed a few posts of this discussion, maybe I shouldn't be jumping in and voicing an opinion, but from what I've seen, people are getting anal over a non-existent problem. Starting an argument from nothing, making a mountain out of a molehill. There's literally nothing wrong with him telling his good friend that he still harbours feelings for her, especially when he's said that he knows it [I]won't[/I] affect the friendship. For other people to lash out at DrBreen for choosing to do what he's going to do, I find it just plain old crazy. At the end of the day, we aren't aware of someone's situation as much as they are. All we can do is work from the facts that the poster has given us, and from what DrBreen has said, there really isn't any problem in him going ahead with the whole "I still have feelings for you" plan. But still, it seems like you asked for advice yet had already made your mind up (DrBreen). You asked if you should sweep it under the rug, to which a few people said yes, yet you didn't follow the advice. Also, to you saying that you don't want anything to come out of this, is that entirely true? Perhaps a small part of you hopes that - by telling her you still have feelings for her - that a relationship will come from it. I don't know, I'm just trying to make sense of it. Because really, telling her just for the heck of it, I don't understand why you'd want to unless you were hoping for the possibility of being together with her.[/QUOTE] He can say what he wants I'm not in any position to stop people from expressing themselves. Just personally If I was in his situation and I knew we would still remain friends either way, I still just would't say anything.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37552107] But still, it seems like you asked for advice yet had already made your mind up (DrBreen). You asked if you should sweep it under the rug, to which a few people said yes, yet you didn't follow the advice. Also, to you saying that you don't want anything to come out of this, is that entirely true? Perhaps a small part of you hopes that - by telling her you still have feelings for her - that a relationship will come from it. I don't know, I'm just trying to make sense of it. Because really, telling her just for the heck of it, I don't understand why you'd want to unless you were hoping for the possibility of being together with her.[/QUOTE] Thanks for clearing that up for everyone, i asked because i just wanted to weigh the opinions, the pros and cons, i'm sure you understand, as for the relationship bit i don't really know i guess, i may be up for it, but i just really want to get it off my chest, not gonna lie though if i really wanted a relationship this would really not be what i would do, i think everyone misunderstood what my intentions were, then again i don't know what will come out of this, but it definitely won't be bad so that's why i'm pressing forward, still i'm not going to lose sleep over this also thank you for the coherent post!
From the way I see it, and this is entirely my opinion, you don't seem to stand to gain from it either way. If you say nothing, nothing changes. Life goes on. You don't lose anything you don't gain anything. If you say something there are one of two ways it can go. 1. Badly - you lose a friend 2. Well - what do you gain? What is so worth risking a friend over for the sake of saying something that doesn't seem relevant anymore? You don't even seem to know yourself I know you are insistent it will go well, fine. But to me you still don't seem to gain anything, so why bother? That's my 2c It seems to me like you'd made your mind up before you even posted in here. Go, choose for yourself. That's what freedom is.
[QUOTE=Gump;37552363]He can say what he wants I'm not in any position to stop people from expressing themselves. Just personally If I was in his situation and I knew we would still remain friends either way, I still just would't say anything.[/QUOTE] you probably haven't been in this situation, the idea of keeping it to yourself is a good idea but quickly becomes not so good over the years There's a lot of factors that go into this it's not something simple as you may think [editline]5th September 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=metallics;37552430]From the way I see it, and this is entirely my opinion, you don't seem to stand to gain from it either way. If you say nothing, nothing changes. Life goes on. You don't lose anything you don't gain anything. If you say something there are one of two ways it can go. 1. Badly - you lose a friend 2. Well - what do you gain? What is so worth risking a friend over for the sake of saying something that doesn't seem relevant anymore? You don't even seem to know yourself I know you are insistent it will go well, fine. But to me you still don't seem to gain anything, so why bother? That's my 2c It seems to me like you'd made your mind up before you even posted in here. Go, choose for yourself. That's what freedom is.[/QUOTE] thanks for the post, this is a good post 1. if for some odd reason it goes bad (which if i was 16 or something it would be a sure thing) i don't know but i think losing a friend is a little extreme, the only times i've heard of this happening both parties were pretty immature about it, i don't know 2. I would move on, i said in my first post that this was putting a toll on my romantic life, failed relationships (the post is on the last page, cba to post about this again) Context is pretty important and i think a lot of you didn't read the post i made in page 187
Just when school started, I saw a girl in school, and added her on Facebook. We began talking a bit, and ended up exchanging numbers. Note that we didn't actually talk to each other in school. She didn't even see me once in school in this period of ~1.5 weeks. At least that's what I think. In this period, we texted with each other, and basically every text from her had a smilie at the end. She also initiated some of the conversations. 1.5 weeks later, I saw her in school. I did get this feeling in my stomatch and I was very nervous, but I did actually go up to her and talk. We talked for maybe 30 seconds, and then I came up with an excuse to leave, because I basically couldn't come up with anything to say. I was really nervous, and I think she could notice. The thing is, I'm not 100% sure she wasn't nervous either. I'm not actually sure it was because of her, but more because of her friends. I have this feeling that I could be almost calm talking with just her. Now how do I get a moment to be alone with her? I know some are going to say ask her out or something like that, but keep in mind I've just talked to her in real life one time. Is it still acceptable, or should I talk to her with her friends around a few more times before asking her out?
You're in texting terms with her, ask her what she's doing for lunch? If you're in somewhat of the same friendship circles, invite her out to lunch with a few friends she knows as well. That way it's comfortable for everyone.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37552662]You're in texting terms with her, ask her what she's doing for lunch? If you're in somewhat of the same friendship circles, invite her out to lunch with a few friends she knows as well. That way it's comfortable for everyone.[/QUOTE] I'm not in the same friendship circles as her at all and that's the problem. I'm pretty sure the main reason I'm nervous around her is because of her and my friends. She has her friends following her and I have mine.
[QUOTE=throwaway123;37552592]Just when school started, I saw a girl in school, and added her on Facebook. We began talking a bit, and ended up exchanging numbers. Note that we didn't actually talk to each other in school. She didn't even see me once in school in this period of ~1.5 weeks. At least that's what I think. In this period, we texted with each other, and basically every text from her had a smilie at the end. She also initiated some of the conversations. 1.5 weeks later, I saw her in school. I did get this feeling in my stomatch and I was very nervous, but I did actually go up to her and talk. We talked for maybe 30 seconds, and then I came up with an excuse to leave, because I basically couldn't come up with anything to say. I was really nervous, and I think she could notice. The thing is, I'm not 100% sure she wasn't nervous either. I'm not actually sure it was because of her, but more because of her friends. I have this feeling that I could be almost calm talking with just her. Now how do I get a moment to be alone with her? I know some are going to say ask her out or something like that, but keep in mind I've just talked to her in real life one time. Is it still acceptable, or should I talk to her with her friends around a few more times before asking her out?[/QUOTE] either way seems good to be honest, but doesn't hurt to hang out with her and her friends, meeting people is always a good thing, then when you feel you're ready go for the kill!
no, i read all the posts you made and it's a stupid decision. how the hell will telling a girl you don't want to be with that you love her help solve your relationship problems with OTHER women? even if you don't lose her as a friend you're most likely going to make her uncomfortable. your relationship is over and if you give her the impression you still feel for her,you're going to make her uncomfortable. she probably views your relationship as strictly platonic and if you announce that you feel differently it will damage your friendship. if you want to move on like you claim you do, then telling her about your feelings will be counter-productive because you may just end up passing all your thoughts and feelings on to her. everyone in this thread has repeatedly told you that there's nothing to gain from telling her you love her. you said you don't want anything to happen afterward. there is literally no reason for you to bring up the past with her because the only possible consequence is making her uncomfortable. all you are doing is inconveniencing her. furthermore you clearly aren't looking for advice, considering that all you're asking for is encouragement, and using the excuse "you don't understand!!" every time someone tells you it's a bad idea. the very first response you got even said it was a bad idea but instead of acknowledging what the person said, you just asked for them to give you reasons to do it when they were clearly against it. we can't force you to do anything, all we can offer is our advice - but if you don't want feedback then why ask for it?
Hey guys. I've posted here a few months back about my ex. We had been seeing eachother on and off for 3 years (basically just hooking up at parties and sex). I had and still do have strong feelings for her. We had a few shit situations that left me miserable (her sleeping with others and ditching me at a party she brought me to). I posted here and alot of you said the usual "get over her" stuff. I never took your words and kept trying with her. Anyway I just got back from 7 weeks of travelling Europe with my family. A week into my holiday she sent a text saying "Adrian, I'm not happy anymore. You don't make me happy. I can't see you again. It hurts me too much."* I then realised she'd blocked all communications with me and I broke down. I was so miserable but I couldn't show it around family I was with. So I just dealt with it and tried to enjoy my holiday. I had no proper Internet or phone priveliges anyway. When I flew home she was hardly on my mind. I was happy I'd finally gotten over her. Like you all said. But this is where it all goes shit. First night home I was really craving McDonalds from across the street. Me and my brother walked over and the second we get inside I make eye contact with her sitting down. She rolls her eyes at me and whispers to her friend (who used to be one of my only friends) and she rolls her eyes aswell. I just put on a little smile to her and ignored her. Me and my brother got food and walked off like nothing happened. I didn't care. Then a few days later I'm on fb and all of a sudden I can see her posting on all my friends posts. She unblocked me.*I ignored it all. But she lives 2 streets away from me and we're going to constantly see eachother no matter what I do. I say I'm fine and it's ok but I know I'm not ok. She's unblocking me so that's gotta mean she regrets saying bye. I don't want to start talking with her because I know I can live without her now. I just deep down know i won't lose feelings. This sucks. **
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37552700]no, i read all the posts you made and it's a stupid decision. how the hell will telling a girl you don't want to be with that you love her help solve your relationship problems with OTHER women? even if you don't lose her as a friend you're most likely going to make her uncomfortable. your relationship is over and if you give her the impression you still feel for her,you're going to make her uncomfortable. she probably views your relationship as strictly platonic and if you announce that you feel differently it will damage your friendship. if you want to move on like you claim you do, then telling her about your feelings will be counter-productive because you may just end up passing all your thoughts and feelings on to her. everyone in this thread has repeatedly told you that there's nothing to gain from telling her you love her. you said you don't want anything to happen afterward. there is literally no reason for you to bring up the past with her because the only possible consequence is making her uncomfortable. all you are doing is inconveniencing her. furthermore you clearly aren't looking for advice, considering that all you're asking for is encouragement, and using the excuse "you don't understand!!" every time someone tells you it's a bad idea. the very first response you got even said it was a bad idea but instead of acknowledging what the person said, you just asked for them to give you reasons to do it when they were clearly against it. we can't force you to do anything, all we can offer is our advice - but if you don't want feedback then why ask for it?[/QUOTE] You dont understand because you got the wrong damn idea i'm not going to tell her that i love her i'm going to tell that i love[i]d[/i] her, it is completely different, also where did i state that i was in a relationship with her because i don't remember saying that
lol wait you were "in love" with a girl you were never in a relationship with? [editline]5th September 2012[/editline] for FOUR YEARS?
[QUOTE=I ARE REPTAR;37552734]Hey guys. I've posted here a few months back about my ex. We had been seeing eachother on and off for 3 years (basically just hooking up at parties and sex). I had and still do have strong feelings for her. We had a few shit situations that left me miserable (her sleeping with others and ditching me at a party she brought me to). I posted here and alot of you said the usual "get over her" stuff. I never took your words and kept trying with her. Anyway I just got back from 7 weeks of travelling Europe with my family. A week into my holiday she sent a text saying "Adrian, I'm not happy anymore. You don't make me happy. I can't see you again. It hurts me too much."* I then realised she'd blocked all communications with me and I broke down. I was so miserable but I couldn't show it around family I was with. So I just dealt with it and tried to enjoy my holiday. I had no proper Internet or phone priveliges anyway. When I flew home she was hardly on my mind. I was happy I'd finally gotten over her. Like you all said. But this is where it all goes shit. First night home I was really craving McDonalds from across the street. Me and my brother walked over and the second we get inside I make eye contact with her sitting down. She rolls her eyes at me and whispers to her friend (who used to be one of my only friends) and she rolls her eyes aswell. I just put on a little smile to her and ignored her. Me and my brother got food and walked off like nothing happened. I didn't care. Then a few days later I'm on fb and all of a sudden I can see her posting on all my friends posts. She unblocked me.*I ignored it all. But she lives 2 streets away from me and we're going to constantly see eachother no matter what I do. I say I'm fine and it's ok but I know I'm not ok. She's unblocking me so that's gotta mean she regrets saying bye. I don't want to start talking with her because I know I can live without her now. I just deep down know i won't lose feelings. This sucks. **[/QUOTE] Well you're milking a dead cow, so to speak, she will disappoint you again, so don't give her the leash, you moved on so she needs to move on as well :D [editline]5th September 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37552790]lol wait you were "in love" with a girl you were never in a relationship with? [editline]5th September 2012[/editline] for FOUR YEARS?[/QUOTE] did you read the fucking first post :v:
ok here's what you do go to her and say "hey just so you know you're a really close friend of mine and i respect you a lot." or something why the hell do you need to confess to her that you used to have a crush on her it doesn't matter lol this is much much sillier than i thought it was
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37552774]You dont understand because you got the wrong damn idea i'm not going to tell her that i love her i'm going to tell that i love[i]d[/i] her, it is completely different, also where did i state that i was in a relationship with her because i don't remember saying that[/QUOTE] Why on earth would you do that? That accomplishes nothing dude. It'll only make an awkward conversation and she'll probably stop talking to you as much for abit. Either way she's gonna get the wrong idea and you're gonna end up worse off.
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37552808]did you read the fucking first post :v:[/QUOTE] it's nice how you're acting condescending toward me because i interpreted your post as something not completely ridiculous and immature. sorry for assuming you had some vague understanding of the word "love" i guess?
[QUOTE=I ARE REPTAR;37552820]Why on earth would you do that? That accomplishes nothing dude. It'll only make an awkward conversation and she'll probably stop talking to you as much for abit. Either way she's gonna get the wrong idea and you're gonna end up worse off.[/QUOTE] SO I CAN MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE D: i'm just repeating myself now
*asks for advice* *doesn't like responses* *claims people either didn't read the original post or just ~don't understand~ and it's ~completely different~ to how you imagine it* DrBreen, do what you like. enough people have given you advice that you've refused
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