• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Turnips5;34731982]I like to pick my moments for jokes got a penchant for bad puns too. [I]a punchant, if you will.[/I][/QUOTE] My pants have dropped and you can have me.
[QUOTE=Mon;34733731]gents how do you bring yourself to move on from a girl? it's been months now and i'm still hung up over this one.[/QUOTE] think of all of her annoying qualities look at really ugly pictures of her just generally be negative
So, I've been talking to this girl for a few days and she's flirting with me extremely. I like her but she keeps posting statuses about being single or country boys and the sorts, which scares me because we're kinda (not really) going out. I have no clue what to do.
sorry if this is the wrong thread and that its really off-topic but is it bad to smoke pot regularly? i personally don't think pot is bad, but i feel like my friend is really abusing it. he does it almost every day, (often when he is sad) and for christ's sake he almost always shows up to school baked. his grades haven't dropped though, and overall his life hasn't been negatively affected; but i can't help but think that he's being an idiot and he's going to end up getting caught. i've tried telling him this but to no avail. what are your opinions?
[QUOTE=socks;34734815]sorry if this is the wrong thread and that its really off-topic but is it bad to smoke pot regularly? i personally don't think pot is bad, but i feel like my friend is really abusing it. he does it almost every day, (often when he is sad) and for christ's sake he almost always shows up to school baked. his grades haven't dropped though, and overall his life hasn't been negatively affected; but i can't help but think that he's being an idiot and he's going to end up getting caught. i've tried telling him this but to no avail. what are your opinions?[/QUOTE] It's definitely not good. Try to get him to at least tone it down.
[QUOTE=socks;34734815]sorry if this is the wrong thread and that its really off-topic but is it bad to smoke pot regularly? i personally don't think pot is bad, but i feel like my friend is really abusing it. he does it almost every day, (often when he is sad) and for christ's sake he almost always shows up to school baked. his grades haven't dropped though, and overall his life hasn't been negatively affected; but i can't help but think that he's being an idiot and he's going to end up getting caught. i've tried telling him this but to no avail. what are your opinions?[/QUOTE] he's making his own decisions if it isn't really affecting his life very negatively and he's happy and a reliable friend what is it to you? and no it's not really physically bad to smoke pot on a regular basis at least in a long term basis, and unless he does sports that require almost only running he should be fine. not to mention it's his own life, let him choose his choices.
his only sport is running haha but i guess you're right, i'll leave him alone about it really the main thing is that i think he is sort of relying on it. he had a recent break up and he does it alone at home when he gets sad
i love getting high so i say let him do whatever, though if he's depending on it for emotional reasons thats a BIG red light and he might have a deeper problem then needing to smoke a j
~use don't abuse~
I'm going after one absolutely beautiful innocent woman, however, her 3 friends (who happen to be mine) gave me the responses that she is either: To hard to get, just give up, and too innocent. I'm at a cross roads, I know the simple "just ask her out" will be the reply, but I feel like I will have to know this girl to the extreme in order to get moderately close. School relationships /=/ 18+ relationships you know. I'm tall and have a relatively good build, not to heavy, and I have a good amount of muscle (not disgusting, just nice). Help me out bretheren, this one is getting me stewing.
Walk to work if you work a good way away [QUOTE=Zambies!;34736759]I'm going after one absolutely beautiful innocent woman, however, her 3 friends (who happen to be mine) gave me the responses that she is either: To hard to get, just give up, and too innocent. I'm at a cross roads, I know the simple "just ask her out" will be the reply, but I feel like I will have to know this girl to the extreme in order to get moderately close. [B]School relationships /=/ 18+ relationships you know[/B]. I'm tall and have a relatively good build, not to heavy, and I have a good amount of muscle (not disgusting, just nice). Help me out bretheren, this one is getting me stewing.[/QUOTE] Yeah they are. If you say to her, hey, would you like to come get a lunch with me this weekend, or a coffee and we can do something after, no promises though, she will interpret it pretty much the same, so long as you make it clear its just a date She'll make a bigger deal of it probably and giggle about it more but the end result will usually be the same
[QUOTE=Zambies!;34736759]I'm going after one absolutely beautiful innocent woman, however, her 3 friends (who happen to be mine) gave me the responses that she is either: To hard to get, just give up, and too innocent. I'm at a cross roads, I know the simple "just ask her out" will be the reply, but I feel like I will have to know this girl to the extreme in order to get moderately close. School relationships /=/ 18+ relationships you know. I'm tall and have a relatively good build, not to heavy, and I have a good amount of muscle (not disgusting, just nice). Help me out bretheren, this one is getting me stewing.[/QUOTE] Help you with getting to know her? that's up to you. [editline]17th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Devodiere;34733515]Running is too hard, walking works just the same. Takes up more time but does wonders. Also you'd be surprised how much you can cut out of your diet and not notice or feel hungry.[/QUOTE] Are you afraid to try to hard? What kind of advice is this? That's like me telling my son to cheat on exams, because studying is too much hard work when you can just cheat it off other people. Losing fat, for most individuals, is an ongoing process - a lifestyle. So, just as you can't just cheat your way up your whole life, you can't just choose the easy route your whole life. [editline]17th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Str4fe;34730879]About the gym thing, i was going to a gym for nearly a year, 2 times a week, 2-4 hours each time. i didnt really see much progress, though my muscles flt like they were burning. Now it makes me really sad to see how all that work is going down the drain as my muscles go smaller and smaller again. Lack of progress must have been because of the lack of nutrition. Right now im becoming more and more satisfied about who i am, as i now got a proper haircut, im getting rid of my acne, im going to get a piercing or two. (labret, middle and maybe a brow piercing) Trying to finally get a style, not just wear whatever is cheap and fits. Depression is holding back my motivation, so doing all that change will probably motivate me to get back in the gym. Back on subject of love, i had a couple of beers (only 3) with this cute girl, wrestled a bit in the snow with her and after a while, lieing on a snowy field, she laid her head on my chest and said "you be my pillow", we wathed the starry nightsky, I stroked her cheek and she didnt seem to be bothered about it at all & shit like that, it was generally a great ":3" moment with her. When i asked her on a date the next day, she said that she was sorry and she cant think of us as anything more than friends. I do not understand women.[/QUOTE] Pretty obvious to me. You acted like her best boy-friend. [editline]17th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34731245]youre right, he should just live in denial no reason to accept anything![/QUOTE] True, sometimes you need to accept things will happen around you, regardless of how hard you try to prevent them. But, his current situation is not one of them. Living in denial would be to accept he has a "problem" that needs medical fixing. That's just calling quits before the match even begun.
[QUOTE=Seith;34738615]Are you afraid to try to hard? What kind of advice is this? That's like me telling my son to cheat on exams, because studying is too much hard work when you can just cheat it off other people. Losing fat, for most individuals, is an ongoing process - a lifestyle. So, just as you can't just cheat your way up your whole life, you can't just choose the easy route your whole life.[/QUOTE] Well for anyone with no fitness whatsoever they'll run for about 30 seconds and collapse in an anaerobic mess, doubly so for anyone carrying an extra 50lbs. Running is good but it's just not feasible for a lot of people. Walking works and is easy enough for beginners as long as you aren't so fat that your knees give out. When you get to a good weight, start running, build up endurance, it's a good way to prevent from getting fat again. If you consider it cheating to not ram your head against a wall and instead ease into it then sure, I managed to cheat about 50lbs and have kept it off for 4 years so at least it works.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;34738719]Well for anyone with no fitness whatsoever they'll run for about 30 seconds and collapse in an anaerobic mess, doubly so for anyone carrying an extra 50lbs. Running is good but it's just not feasible for a lot of people. Walking works and is easy enough for beginners as long as you aren't so fat that your knees give out. When you get to a good weight, start running, build up endurance, it's a good way to prevent from getting fat again. If you consider it cheating to not ram your head against a wall and instead ease into it then sure, I managed to cheat about 50lbs and have kept it off for 4 years so at least it works.[/QUOTE] Everything that will create a deficit will work to an extent. As impressive as it is, unless the person is extremely obese and unfit, I would recommend ram your head against the wall. The body is quite the extraordinary machine.
[QUOTE=Seith;34738844]Everything that will create a deficit will work to an extent. As impressive as it is, unless the person is extremely obese and unfit, I would recommend ram your head against the wall. The body is quite the extraordinary machine.[/QUOTE] The mind is not though, and to bring it along with such action will be more difficult than the average person can handle. For all your motivational bullshit, people will still give up if it's too difficult. It's why a huge amount of diets and exercise programs fail, because people think it's too hard and just give up. Seriously, do you really expect a fat person to have the immense willpower it takes right off the bat? It may not be very idealistic but I'd rather put trust in things that work than what seems right.
Jumping in the deep end with exercise isn't good for you either. Even athletes who may have had to take a long break due to injury or something have to ease back into training.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;34739128]The mind is not though, and to bring it along with such action will be more difficult than the average person can handle. For all your motivational bullshit, people will still give up if it's too difficult. It's why a huge amount of diets and exercise programs fail, because people think it's too hard and just give up. Seriously, do you really expect a fat person to have the immense willpower it takes right off the bat? It may not be very idealistic but I'd rather put trust in things that work than what seems right.[/QUOTE] Who said life is easy? Of course it's going to be hard. Also, that, "it's too difficult, people will quit" is a recipe for failure. If they quit when confronted with some of the most basic hardships, then they will surely fail upon confronting with the most brutal ones. Physical obstacles are just the tip of the iceberg, the real deal is to maintain it after losing the fat - the mental obstacle. I expect nothing. I don't care whether my advice works or not, I give nothing BUT the truth. The truth is this - you need to work hard. you need to motivate yourself. You have nobody but yourself in this battle. You will fail. You will get depressed. But, those who really set themselves up for success, set themselves true goals, will reach the top no matter what. It will happen. Motivation will self-sustain and willpower is it's fuel. Take it as you will my friend, I have not given a single advice not worth everybodys time here. All are from the heart and my own personal experience. [editline]17th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Mort and Charon;34739343]Jumping in the deep end with exercise isn't good for you either. Even athletes who may have had to take a long break due to injury or something have to ease back into training.[/QUOTE] I am talking about an untrained person, wanting to start dieting and exercise. That type of person will likely follow a classic, proven routine and diet. It's not as if we are referring to top athletes who do this day to day, pushing it to the limit.
[QUOTE=Seith;34739419]Who said life is easy? Of course it's going to be hard. Also, that, "it's too difficult, people will quit" is a recipe for failure. If they quit when confronted with some of the most basic hardships, then they will surely fail upon confronting with the most brutal ones. Physical obstacles are just the tip of the iceberg, the real deal is to maintain it after losing the fat - the mental obstacle. I expect nothing. I don't care whether my advice works or not, I give nothing BUT the truth. The truth is this - you need to work hard. you need to motivate yourself. You have nobody but yourself in this battle. You will fail. You will get depressed. But, those who really set themselves up for success, set themselves true goals, will reach the top no matter what. It will happen. Motivation will self-sustain and willpower is it's fuel. Take it as you will my friend, I have not given a single advice not worth everybodys time here. All are from the heart and my own personal experience.[/QUOTE] Back on this shit again? I can't tell if you're a motivational speaker in denial or just narcissistic. As I have said many, many times, just because something works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone. For one thing there is middle ground between brain-splitting stress and fusing to the furniture, building up to it is a good idea. There's also the fact you have to build habits over time rather than give a speech and expect that to hold them through. Also the exclusionary element of worthlessness until motivation rather than inclusive, supportive, showing them the way rather than leaving them a quivering mess at the starting line, definitely going to fail on a lot of people there. Your experience and your heart are not absolute, not conclusive and not always right.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;34739580]Back on this shit again? I can't tell if you're a motivational speaker in denial or just narcissistic. As I have said many, many times, just because something works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone. For one thing there is middle ground between brain-splitting stress and fusing to the furniture, building up to it is a good idea. There's also the fact you have to build habits over time rather than give a speech and expect that to hold them through. Also the exclusionary element of worthlessness until motivation rather than inclusive, supportive, showing them the way rather than leaving them a quivering mess at the starting line, definitely going to fail on a lot of people there. Your experience and your heart are not absolute, not conclusive and not always right.[/QUOTE] The fact you say "this shit" is your way of showing your inability to manifest what I am saying in your life. So, in that regard, I agree, I may be a narcissistic to you. I don't hand out motivation, this is not motivation. It's a way to set yourself up for success. As I have said, also, many times before, when people want a change they will automatically have the tools to make it. I agree. I didn't mean to sound like people should wake up tomorrow and start lifting trucks and running marathons. What I meant was that people should mentally make a decision to change their lives. Without willpower, as I have said earlier, there will be no motivation. ([b]which comes back to a point you made about a fat person being unable to have willpower... here's your reason and my point[/b]) But, on the other hand, you make it sound like people should take it easy in general. Maybe start jogging once a week, maybe reduce to 2 soda cans a week instead of 3. This is what I mean by making a decision; for example; [b]There is no maybe.[/b] when you say you want to stop smoking, you don't just reduce to 2 packs a day instead of 5. You stop at once. I have never seen a person reducing from 5 packs a day to a cigarette a day, then to no smoking at all. That's because they simply were never willing to take that step into actually changing themselves completely, because changing habits and your behaviors is the hardest thing in this universe. So, when a person comes in and just want to "lose a bit of fat on the arms" or do half the process, you'll have to excuse me when I give "vague" "motivational" advice and am somewhat unwilling to truly give out information on a silver plate. It may work for you and for others, and I wasn't denying your methods work. As I have said above, building up to it physically is ok, but to say the two build up together, equally, just because you made a few very simple steps physically, is not even close to making this a lifestyle and truly achieving what you want. I never took it easy on myself, and even though in the past I had regretted being so "perfectionist" I am now advocating it because it has changed my life.
[QUOTE=Mort and Charon;34739343]Jumping in the deep end with exercise isn't good for you either. Even athletes who may have had to take a long break due to injury or something have to ease back into training.[/QUOTE] not many people actually try that hard most of the time, when average people are 'jumping into the deep end' that means 'doing what they're supposed to' [editline]18th February 2012[/editline] if you're under 25 you should be fine, impact or no impact running is better for cardiovascular fitness if you just want to lose weight, walking would be okay (but not as good) I am assuming you're not 200 kilos though.
[QUOTE=Contag;34739979][b]not many people actually try that hard[/b] [b]most of the time, when average people are 'jumping into the deep end' that means 'doing what they're supposed to'[/b] [editline]18th February 2012[/editline] if you're under 25 you should be fine, impact or no impact running is better for cardiovascular fitness if you just want to lose weight, walking would be okay (but not as good) I am assuming you're not 200 kilos though.[/QUOTE] Exactly my point, just in layman's terms. I feel obsolete now.
[QUOTE=Seith;34739912]The fact you say "this shit" is your way of showing your inability to manifest what I am saying in your life. So, in that regard, I agree, I may be a narcissistic to you. I don't hand out motivation, this is not motivation. It's a way to set yourself up for success. As I have said, also, many times before, when people want a change they will automatically have the tools to make it. I agree. I didn't mean to sound like people should wake up tomorrow and start lifting trucks and running marathons. What I meant was that people should mentally make a decision to change their lives. Without willpower, as I have said earlier, there will be no motivation. ([b]which comes back to a point you made about a fat person being unable to have willpower... here's your reason and my point[/b]) But, on the other hand, you make it sound like people should take it easy in general. Maybe start jogging once a week, maybe reduce to 2 soda cans a week instead of 3. This is what I mean by making a decision; for example; [b]There is no maybe.[/b] when you say you want to stop smoking, you don't just reduce to 2 packs a day instead of 5. You stop at once. I have never seen a person reducing from 5 packs a day to a cigarette a day, then to no smoking at all. That's because they simply were never willing to take that step into actually changing themselves completely, because changing habits and your behaviors is the hardest thing in this universe. So, when a person comes in and just want to "lose a bit of fat on the arms" or do half the process, you'll have to excuse me when I give "vague" "motivational" advice and am somewhat unwilling to truly give out information on a silver plate. It may work for you and for others, and I wasn't denying your methods work. As I have said above, building up to it physically is ok, but to say the two build up together, equally, just because you made a few very simple steps physically, is not even close to making this a lifestyle and truly achieving what you want. I never took it easy on myself, and even though in the past I had regretted being so "perfectionist" I am now advocating it because it has changed my life.[/QUOTE] Now I'm not sure if you are a fanatical listener of motivational tapes and have picked up their language or if there's a convergence in it that you have reached. Where do you get a lack of willpower and an unwillingness to do anything from suggesting something less strenuous for a beginner? How about yes, there is a middle point between no motivation and fanatical motivation. I suggest to fan the flames, ease into it, don't snuff it out. And what do you suggest, reject it as not a full blaze, worthless as not full commitment. People are slow to change and your devotion to what you believe worked for you is not only incomplete, it is rare. [QUOTE=Contag;34739979]not many people actually try that hard most of the time, when average people are 'jumping into the deep end' that means 'doing what they're supposed to' [editline]18th February 2012[/editline] if you're under 25 you should be fine, impact or no impact running is better for cardiovascular fitness if you just want to lose weight, walking would be okay (but not as good) I am assuming you're not 200 kilos though.[/QUOTE] Vague as fuck. Still, beginners, do you really expect them to perform well? Keeping with it and making routine is more important than enforcing maximum capability. Wouldn't rely on youth to prevent injuries. Not if they're doing it wrong. Depends on how you do it, not which you do. [editline]18th February 2012[/editline] Jesus this is a stupid argument. So you know Ladowerf, this has far more to do with the nature of this thread than you. If you can take any advice from it then great, otherwise there's plenty of other information out there, just make the effort and you'll be fine.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;34740299] Vague as fuck. Still, beginners, do you really expect them to perform well? Keeping with it and making routine is more important than enforcing maximum capability. Wouldn't rely on youth to prevent injuries. Not if they're doing it wrong. Depends on how you do it, not which you do. [/QUOTE] How the fuck do you run so terribly that it does not improve your cardiovascular fitness more than walking? I think part effort is far more important than making routine and keeping with it. It doesn't matter how consistent you are if you're not doing anything worthwhile. Ladowerf just go swimming or get a bike (and try hard) [quote]Wouldn't rely on youth to prevent injuries.[/quote] Wait wait wait are you saying that being younger and not being obese doesn't mean that someone has a far greater capacity for impact-based exercises? r u srs
lol guys im not a fat fuck i'm just chubs, last year i was a fat fuck but i got taller and it evened out a bit. and holy shit I saw the pluses that come with not being a fat fuck [editline]17th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Ladowerf;34741589]lol guys im not a fat fuck i'm just chubs, last year i was a fat fuck but i got taller and it evened out a bit. and holy shit I saw the pluses that come with not being a fat fuck[/QUOTE] I just fully read this page, I caused a fucking shit storm. guys its not that big of a deal lol, i'll just go outside and skate and do some calisthenics and run a bit more
I used to be a fat fuck, I like to think I'm not so bad looking now and that it wasn't all just because I'm taller. I take a 3 or 4 mile walk with my dog everyday, then do 40 pushups and 60 situps.
[QUOTE=Evilan;34729011]This has been said many many times. The only way to get better socially is to put yourself out there and take risks in interactions that you normally don't do on a daily basis. Still though, being average is a great thing. I wouldn't call myself the most attractive guy in the world, I'm 5'9" and the only thing going for me physically is I work out which women love in a dude. Your problems are all solvable within a reasonably short amount of time if you put in the effort. Start going to the gym 3-4x a week, workout for an hour. Also start to make small talk with people who you see everyday, but don't take initiative to speak to normally. You'll get better socially and you'll start to feel better about yourself every week you [b]spend time for yourself[/b].[/QUOTE] What if the problems are permanent and out of control though? Such as individuals who suffer from a permanent serious mental health issue, eg Bipolar disorder? What kind of love advice could be given? Sure there is treatment and therapy but they kind of strike me as to only keep your life in control, not to do with allowing you to find happiness in yourself.
[QUOTE=Seith;34738615] Are you afraid to try to hard? What kind of advice is this? That's like me telling my son to cheat on exams, because studying is too much hard work when you can just cheat it off other people. Losing fat, for most individuals, is an ongoing process - a lifestyle. So, just as you can't just cheat your way up your whole life, you can't just choose the easy route your whole life.[/QUOTE] Not attempting to offend you in anyway. But telling someone who is overweight to run for extended periods of time is going to result in only one thing. He's going to develop shinsplints on potentially the 2nd or 3rd day he attempts to just run. He has to start slow and work his way up otherwise he is more likely to crash and burn. It's like trying to bench press 225lbs when you can barely do the 45lb bar. You have to start somewhere and the key to starting on a healthy lifestyle is to build the routine of actually exercising. It's not "cheating" if he can only do so much. [editline]17th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=GreenDolphin;34741885]What if the problems are permanent and out of control though? Such as individuals who suffer from a permanent serious mental health issue, eg Bipolar disorder? What kind of love advice could be given? Sure there is treatment and therapy but they kind of strike me as to only keep your life in control, not to do with finding happiness in yourself.[/QUOTE] Therapy worked wonders for my social anxiety and depression. I know they aren't permanent conditions, but they are life altering. I'm infinitely happier than I was years ago when I was afflicted by my condition. Part of what you learn from going to therapy is to accept yourself. That may come off as "keeping your life in control" at first, but it really does empower you to do greater things that will make you happy. Sure you will still have some emotional instability, but you will be a much happier person for spending the extra time on yourself. Now, spending time on yourself does not mean chasing after a relationship because you believe it will solve all your problems (because it won't, it may actually worsen them). My best advice would be to seek professional help and work out your issues and your troubling thoughts with someone who has heard it all before.
What does 75-90 kilos for a 18 year old mean?
[sub][sub]repost from other thread[/sub][/sub] So there's this chick who i'm really getting in to, she shares a passion of photoshop and photography with me, and we really seem to get along; but we talk occasionally. How do I get to the point where I can ask her if she wants to hang out or whatever
[QUOTE=GameDev;34745862][sub][sub]repost from other thread[/sub][/sub] So there's this chick who i'm really getting in to, she shares a passion of photoshop and photography with me, and we really seem to get along; but we talk occasionally. How do I get to the point where I can ask her if she wants to hang out or whatever[/QUOTE] You just ask her to hang out? There's no secret, one day while you're talking to her just ask her if she wants to [insert activity here] with you.
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