• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;37571634]The following is a story-of-my-life wall of text. I am posting because i need to vent. You don't need to respond. Also i can remember faces really well, but i don't hold names that great. From the beginning. My biological parents divorced when i was nine or ten. As a result i never really created that strong of a bond with my family, except for maybe my closest-in-age brother. So i finished elementary school no problem, save for the emd of sixth grade where i realized that i really didn't like some kids. However, seventh grade (seven years ago) is where my demons grabbed a hold of me. They held me strong, all the way to freshman year. While i had them running along with me, i didn't work toward school at all. I didn't fucking care. Why should i? My parents ruined the most amazing quiet life. As well, i developed bullying as a defense. I had a few friends that were really, and honestly my friends despite the massive asshole i was to them and others. I would coerce them to gain what i wanted and just plain insult them. Others i also intimidated and harassed both mentally and physically. Those friends were the only reasoni mever thought about "getting out". But i was never happy about what i did, save for a few kids i harassed, and i never was fulfilled in anything. Just hollow, but hanging on because of these few fuckers that somehow see worth in me. Then a new program opened up i washington, coming sophomore year, that would let me take classes at digipen, which is fifteen minutes from my dad's house. This was awesome because then reese and i could go to school, we could carpool everywhere (he was a senior). It was also neat because i go to dip my toes in game programming. And my oldest biological brother, now a marine, had some really fun church friends that were nice. I made friends with them and in turn gained a whole new life. I am lucky. I got to start over. That five/six year depression could finally just hang in the past. Fuck it, right? Wrong. My step mom raised her kids entirely differnet from how my mother raised me. I was able to get away with anything because my mom wasn't very strongwilled. If i have taken advantage over anyone, it has been my mother which pisses me off. I hate that i do that. Anyway, point is, i got this bitch called Ellen crawling all over my back bitching about how i have no hope of a future unless i get all kinds of A's and B's. Well that's impractical because i have a habit of not doing anything. But i managed to get only a c at the lowest. That's after a background of only two passing grades that are math (because tests are seventy percent of the class) and speech (because i can fucking talk) that seems pretty fucking good to me! But guess what? Fucking Ellen is mad because i didn't get all a's even though i am quite capable and- as if i don't already fucking know that i haven't used my potential is six years! As if i don't fuckin know that i didn't get the grades i want! I am my biggest critic. No one can even come close to the fucking demons in my head. Sk fucking rampamt. But on top of that i have teachers, and best of all, the two fucking parents i live with letting me fucking know that i failing. I can't even type this without the strss causing me tears. And any fucking attempt i give to explain, i a "conversation" they "want" to have is met with, "Stop making damn excuses, marcus!" anyway, i make a fucking year wihout failing, and this next, junior year, a year ago, i can do running start. This let's me take college courses, at college (surprise) for college and high school credit. Effectively two birds, one stone. I was psyched about it. Maybe this school will challenge my intellect! Fuck that. Community college is pretty simple. At least, for me. So i treat it non-chalantly. An A and a B first quarter, an A a B and a C next quarter. And by spring quarter, i start to get lazy. So i had to withdraw from one class, and then i failed two others. Somehow that one third of the school year equates to half the school year, and is a consistently negative path. So now i get to hear all about how i failed half my school last year and how it was a terribke idea and how i need to be fucking micromanaged and blahblahfuckingblah. So this year i (read: my parents forced me to) elected to go back to my kindergart- high school. And today was my second day. Yesterday was the first day, and the night before i could not sleep i only had three hours of sleep. So when i went to bed last night, i was out quickly and quietly. However, when i am getting much needed rest, i sleep like a fucking brick. You can slap me (read: i've been slapped in my sleep) and i will not wake up, so when i sleep through an alarm, no ucking surpise! However, currently my jeep is out of commission, so i needto ride the bus. Since i slept in, i missed the bus by an hour. But luckily reese, currently attending DigiPen, hadn' gone to school yet, so i waited for him to get up and he took me non-issue. But while i waited Ellen hadn't left the house yet so she got to take note that i had been late to class. Naturally she reports such to my dad. Fine. But right as i got to school i got a text from explaining her disappointment how i am obviously starting the school year wrong and i should look into alternative such as a GED because clearly no college is going to accept me. So i explain to her thy all her facts, her data of me having a negative consistency is bullshit, and that all her examples aren't half of what he makes them out to be. But he respknds sayig that no, she is right, she knows what she's talking about and [U]anything i say is just wrong.[/U] whatever, i stop talkig to her because t's just going to end in a rage match, and i am fuckin tired of having those (note: pretty much any time i do something/that disappoints them and they want to "talk about it"). So i get home and am minding my own business, my dad gets home so i quickly exit out of all the shit i am doing on the computer (because due to my poor behavior over summerc my access to house computers has been restricted too) and go upstairs sit the comment following me, " marcus i was kinda hoping to talk to you about school today." Neat, i know where this is going. So i do what shif i needed done upstairs and go back down and wait for it to start. "So what happened? I hear you're missing school." first note, i only missed half my classes, not the day. "Yea, i was exhausted, slept through my alarm and missed the bus." hey, the plain truth about what happened. "slept through the alarm and missed the bus." "yea. So i waited for reese to wake up and he dropped me off at school. Ellen could have but she had an appointment, i didn' want to disrupt that." now comes the 'what the fuck' part of this relationship "<repeats what i say about reese>. why didn't you walk to school or ride a bike?" "Because it takes an hour and a half to get there. I'm not in shape enough to ride the bike there" "Walk the bike up the hill, you're responsible for getting yourself to school on time" true enough, but on time is catching the bus, anything else i am already late. "either of those options would have gotten me there the same time as reese." "why did you miss te bus?" "because i was exhausted, i had only had three hours of sleep" "so what? I do that all the time" this part pisses me off. Why the fuck does i matter what you do? Am i you? "<i was going to yell>, sorry- i am not you. Just because you can do it does nt mean i can. You are used to it, you have many years of that sort of life style. I just finished a three month vacation where i could get up whenever i wanted." "Stop making exuses, marcus" what excuses? I am explaining why it doesn't work to just suddenly wake up a six. Why i need more than three hours of sleep. Because i fucking do. "What excuses? You ask me why then reject everything i say" truth. "it's your fault. You chose to behave like that over summer. You need to know the consequences. You need to mkow the consequences of being late to school." true, but it's not a fucking excuse to say that the body adjusts in a single night of three hours. You want to know why, that's fucking why. If you wanna talk about somethig else, then specify that, don't fucking talk about one thing and then bitch at it for another. "why do you even want to talk about things if you aren't going to listen to what i have to say?" "i'll judge what you will do by what you do consistently. [U]What you say means nothing to me[/U]." Then i walked away and started writing this. Both because i need to vent and because if you are or will be a parent, this is an incredibly huge point you need to understand. Fucking listen. Don't be a fuckig domineering dictator. Don't fucking pretend to have a conversation but always push your point without thinking about how what's being said relates to it. Too many fucking times they draw me in to coversations where they ask my thoughts but don't actually care. If i say anything, i am clearly in the wrong if i disagree. Do not fucking be like that. That is fucking horrible. If you say, "let's talk" it better fucking be two fucking way. Conversations are not you saying your opinion and then demeriting your childs (or anyone else for that matter) but listening to what they say and understanding how it relates to what you just said. Don't be a broken record and just say the same thing over with different words, it's what my parents do, and all the fucking does is make me want to step in front of a bus and wonder how long it'll be until they notice i am missing. I am not writing a TL;DR, because if you didn't read it you can fuck right off. And i am sorry for any spelling and grammatical errors, i'm on my phonez[/QUOTE] I just entered line breaks but hopefully that will help, its still pretty bad though Read it and weep folks, read it and weep. Dude you've seriously got to start taking more responsibility. I mean, yeah, you've got parents who expect a lot of you but I think a lot more of this is down to you than them.
Next time anybody gives me shit for writing too much...
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37572632]Next time anybody gives me shit for writing too much...[/QUOTE] You're a good writer man, you should look into writing a book!
I would love to read a book written by BDA. Dat writing style.
When i have time on a computer i'll clean it up if you want. That "fuck right off" comment was more directed at people who were/are going to lazy to read it. Plus i was just that mad when writing it.
was able to format it to be a bit more readable (also thanks killerteacup) a) your parents are only human. they've probably been putting up with you for 17 or 18 years now. they want you to do well in school and you should be a bit more understanding about the fact that you're probably frustrating the hell out of them. if anything you should consider yourself lucky that they've been so patient with you - most parents aren't anywhere near as calm and collected as yours appear to be. b) learn to take responsibility for your own actions. once you get out of high school and have to live in the real world, you're going to have to realize that excuses don't mean shit. either you succeed, or you don't. NOBODY is going to give a damn if you didn't show up for work because you were sick (or, even better, if you fucked your own sleep schedule up because you're incapable of planning ahead). especially if it happens again and again and again.
Pretty much correct. The only excuses that actually count for anything in the real world are those that are based purely in the real world like "my bus didn't stop for me" or "my car broke down" or "I got run over" instead of stuff like "errr I went to bed late so I didnt wake up in time whoops" or "These things just are too easy so I will not try because they don't stimulate me enough and therefore I will fail them!"
Phsykotik you're reminding me of when i was a teenager and i was blaming my mum for the most stupid things that was a huge mistake, believe me
Looks like its already been a huge mistake for him considering he's back at high school Grades are important as well, and if you can achieve A's and have proven it, but you're only getting Cs, then you're kinda squandering your time there which would probably frustrate your stepmum and your dad
if you screw-up, your parents blame themselves. that's why they are frustrated.
he just doesn't want to admit it's his own fault so he's redirecting the blame to others
I am nervous, tomorrow I am going out with the girl I like tomorrow and I am nervous. She friendzoned me two months ago, but I asked if she wanted to see a movie the other day, and she accepted, not sure if she thought it was a date or just a hangout. I don't want to make it awkward, but it might if I don't know which. What do I do not to mess up and tell what she thinks it is instead of asking?
[QUOTE=Xonax;37574638]I am nervous, tomorrow I am going out with the girl I like tomorrow and I am nervous. She friendzoned me two months ago, but I asked if she wanted to see a movie the other day, and she accepted, not sure if she thought it was a date or just a hangout. I don't want to make it awkward, but it might if I don't know which. What do I do not to mess up and tell what she thinks it is instead of asking?[/QUOTE] Don't bring it up and don't worry about it! Go and have fun with her, and if its not awkward and it's enjoyable for both of you, ask to do it again - if she enjoyed herself and wants to do it again, then you guys can go out again. In that time, it will probably be that either she'll ask, or you'll spontaneously be like hey "so uh, do you consider these dates"?
[QUOTE=Xonax;37574638]I am nervous, tomorrow I am going out with the girl I like tomorrow and I am nervous. She friendzoned me two months ago, but I asked if she wanted to see a movie the other day, and she accepted, not sure if she thought it was a date or just a hangout. I don't want to make it awkward, but it might if I don't know which. What do I do not to mess up and tell what she thinks it is instead of asking?[/QUOTE] don't be nervous ya dope being nervous and uber-self conscious is a sure-fire way to make things awkward. be aloof but not detached. you'll learn over time.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;37574648]Don't bring it up and don't worry about it! Go and have fun with her, and if its not awkward and it's enjoyable for both of you, ask to do it again - if she enjoyed herself and wants to do it again, then you guys can go out again. In that time, it will probably be that either she'll ask, or you'll spontaneously be like hey "so uh, do you consider these dates"?[/QUOTE] Okay, I don't get what you mean at the end, this part to be exact. "In that time, it will probably be that either she'll ask, or you'll spontaneously be like hey "so uh, do you consider these dates"?"
Holy shit, I never expected transferring to a better, bigger school would be so great. I've met at least 20 people in the school who added me on skype and phone. Best part? 6 of them are girls who I hang out with everyday and talk on Skype after school. This school change is the best thing ever. And all of this has happened in [B]1 week[/B]. The first one, too. I probably won't have time for video games in a month or two. But I'm pretty sure there's going to be consequences, too. There's a lot of dicks and assholes in the school as well. I guess that's pretty much your everyday gymnasium, anyway.
[QUOTE=mp3karas;37575017]Holy shit, I never expected transferring to a better, bigger school would be so great. I've met at least 20 people in the school who added me on skype and phone. Best part? 6 of them are girls who I hang out with everyday and talk on Skype after school. This school change is the best thing ever. And all of this has happened in [B]1 week[/B]. The first one, too. I probably won't have time for video games in a month or two. But I'm pretty sure there's going to be consequences, too. There's a lot of dicks and assholes in the school as well. I guess that's pretty much your everyday gymnasium, anyway.[/QUOTE] You're one lucky son of a bitch.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37575689]You're one lucky son of a bitch.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I've never thought I'd meet so many new interesting people just by switching schools. I guess you live and learn.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37574296]he just doesn't want to admit it's his own fault so he's redirecting the blame to others[/QUOTE] I don't understand how people miss this. I am fully aware that the piss poor grades i get at school are my own responsibility. I know that my sleep schedule is my own responsibility. But that isn't even the point. The point is this far no matter how much i have inproved my lifestyle, i am still failing something so horribly that they decide it's okay to tell me that i am going to fail. It is almost literal when i say that i have demons in my head letting me know my every let down. I don't need a fucking reminder from anyone. But i have these two over my shoulder bitching and moaning how all passing grades isn't good enough. How a third of my year is miraculously half my hear, and failed. How a single fucking night of oversleep is a declining habit. I know all of my failures, and then despite how ever many times i tell them that, they don't fucking care what i say and add on to the stress i already give myself.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;37576118]I don't understand how people miss this. I am fully aware that the piss poor grades i get at school are my own responsibility. I know that my sleep schedule is my own responsibility. But that isn't even the point. The point is this far no matter how much i have inproved my lifestyle, i am still failing something so horribly that they decide it's okay to tell me that i am going to fail. It is almost literal when i say that i have demons in my head letting me know my every let down. I don't need a fucking reminder from anyone. But i have these two over my shoulder bitching and moaning how all passing grades isn't good enough. How a third of my year is miraculously half my hear, and failed. How a single fucking night of oversleep is a declining habit. I know all of my failures, and then despite how ever many times i tell them that, they don't fucking care what i say and add on to the stress i already give myself.[/QUOTE] Well if you know all your failings why are you seemingly not doing anything about them?
[QUOTE=metallics;37576463]Well if you know all your failings why are you seemingly not doing anything about them?[/QUOTE] How do you know he's not? He's talking about the pressure he's under right now. Also, heed my words and know that you're not a let down just because you didn't please your parents. People will always tell you what's good for you and want you to believe their answers instead of looking on the inside and finding your own answers - what motivates you, what drives you, what makes you happy... Happiness is what we all strive for and pleasing others just so they can be happy can be excruciating... Fear not, school, is a great tool for some, but not for everybody. Grades are just one indication of how your brain works, not your success.
He needs to grow some balls and stand up for himself.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;37576118]I don't understand how people miss this. I am fully aware that the piss poor grades i get at school are my own responsibility. I know that my sleep schedule is my own responsibility. [b]But that isn't even the point.[/b][/QUOTE] exactly you're even admitting that you've fucked up, but in your post you're completely downplaying the fact that you fucked up and putting focus on what your parents have done wrong. from the start you try to attribute your failure to how you were brought up (ie parents were divorced so you have issues etc etc) instead of taking the blame for yourself alone. they're your parents and they badly want you to be successful. they're trying to help in whatever way they can.
[QUOTE=Phsykotik;37576118]I don't understand how people miss this. I am fully aware that the piss poor grades i get at school are my own responsibility. I know that my sleep schedule is my own responsibility. But that isn't even the point. The point is this far no matter how much i have inproved my lifestyle, i am still failing something so horribly that they decide it's okay to tell me that i am going to fail. It is almost literal when i say that i have demons in my head letting me know my every let down. I don't need a fucking reminder from anyone. But i have these two over my shoulder bitching and moaning how all passing grades isn't good enough. How a third of my year is miraculously half my hear, and failed. How a single fucking night of oversleep is a declining habit. I know all of my failures, and then despite how ever many times i tell them that, they don't fucking care what i say and add on to the stress i already give myself.[/QUOTE] I checked out your Facebook. Here's what I saw: 1) A good looking, social guy who seems to be surrounded with good friends 2) A guy who leads a great life, going out and doing a whole bunch of awesome activites (ATV'ing, fuck yeah) I just felt like mentioning that. Don't hate on your parents so much. Like Guy Mannly has already said, they want the best for you. My mum and dad always point out my faults, not because they want to make me feel bad, but because they worry I can't see my faults myself. They don't want to look at their son and see him failing, especially when they know he can do so much better. They want me to be the best I can be (so cheesy oh God), and the only way they know to do that is by telling me my faults in the hope that I'll see it myself and realize I gotta get my shit together. I've fucked up in school so many times. My dad has given me chances time after time. I recently failed my last year of school and as a result, I couldn't get into Med school. Parents wouldn't give me a break, all I heard all day every day was how I was to blame as I wasn't taking it seriously / wasn't studying / was socializing too much. From the get go, everything they said was right. It's only when I failed and hit rock-bottom, realizing how screwed I was without an education, or - even more important - realizing how upset I was that I couldn't do the job I've dreamed of doing since I was a child, that I started listening to their advice, trying my best to correct the faults they told me I had. Even though I've failed them so much in the past, they were still willing to back me, even though I've shown time and again I'm a losing bet. That's what parents do for you, because they care about you and only want the best for you. I'm now starting my first year of Med school (pre-med), and I couldn't have done it without my awesome parents. I know that parents can really drive you crazy, especially when all it seems they do is just moan about your faults. They don't mean to piss you off, they honestly just want the best for you. Have this as a wake up call, don't give them a reason to call out your faults. Start studying and getting good grades (seriously, education is so important. Don't regret fucking up your chance now, when the going is easy and your parents are looking out for you. Your future self will hate you for it. Do your best now, so later on in life you can enjoy yourself), fix your sleep schedule (really, having a fucked up sleep schedule just makes you feel like utter crap all the time, and it's a reason for your parents to moan at you) and show them what your real potential is. All they want is to see you succeed, because at the end of the day, they're your parents and they care about you. I know it's tough to see, especially with the knack parents seem to have for driving their kids batshit-insane, but honestly, you're incredibly important to them and they only want the best for you in life. [editline]7th September 2012[/editline] Also, your mum was right about your replies being excuses. Come on man, seriously. First day of school and you go in late and your excuse is "Fuck sake, I've been on holiday for 3 months, I can't be blamed for not sleeping at night. I've been used to doing whatever I want for 3 months (how old are you, five? You're an adult now, take some responsibility. You knew school was starting up, you should have prepared for it). I only had 3 hours of sleep, I need more, I'm not going to wake up at six." I don't know about you, but when I know school is coming up, I fix my sleeping habits 3 or 4 days before school, cause I know if I don't, I'll be in the same shit you were in. The whole bit at the bottom of your main post (the big post), you seemed unable to see that you were in the wrong a lot, but instead -due to your frustration and anger - only see how your mother is to blame for being a domineering dictator when in actual fact, she really wasn't. Look at it from her perspective, you'll see where she's coming from, because honestly, from what you wrote, I really can't see your parents being all that bad. They seem pretty normal and straight-forward to me.
loopoo you're honestly the best Phsykotik, my advice is to meditate more often, be alone for an hour or two and think about your life, or anything else really, before fixing whatever needs fixing you have to chill and relax, i mean really relax, because if you try to change while still struggling with yourself it will only make things worse. Go to gym, work out! working out soothes the body and the mind, more so the mind as you'll probably get sore all the time, but it's still worth it.. Fall in love, if you have a crush ask her/him out As for your parents loopoo's post pretty much nails it, go easy on them, but let them know how you feel, always
I've eaten too many M&M's and I've got really bad stomach cramps. I feel like a bit of a loser. Spent my Summer in Kuwait (a cool country in the Middle East, don't hate!) which was really relaxing, but sadly a lot of my friends go abroad. I mean, it's suicidal coming [I]to[/I] the Middle east during Summer, when temperatures can reach 50°C! Practically all the people who live here tend to go off on holiday to some other - cooler - country. So yeah, I've spent the past 3 months here, not really going out much as I haven't got anyone to go out with (and no car) so I feel like a loser. Most of my friends I know here are in colleges in America, so they generally stay in America the year round. I've been to the cinema with my dad twice. I'm not really ashamed of it, because my dad's really cool and I enjoyed spending time with him. But damn. A 19 year old guy who, in the past 3 months, has only really hung out with his dad. Takes a certain kind of special to accomplish that. Can't wait to get back to Ireland. Starting uni, completely chuffed. Plus, Dublin is like [I]the[/I] best city in the world. Great people, great atmosphere, great night life! Miss my apartment sorely. PS: Thank you DrBreen, have a heart <3
[QUOTE=loopoo;37577902]I've eaten too many M&M's and I've got really bad stomach cramps. I feel like a bit of a loser. Spent my Summer in Kuwait (a cool country in the Middle East, don't hate!) which was really relaxing, but sadly a lot of my friends go abroad. I mean, it's suicidal coming [I]to[/I] the Middle east during Summer, when temperatures can reach 50°C! Practically all the people who live here tend to go off on holiday to some other - cooler - country. So yeah, I've spent the past 3 months here, not really going out much as I haven't got anyone to go out with (and no car) so I feel like a loser. Most of my friends I know here are in colleges in America, so they generally stay in America the year round. I've been to the cinema with my dad twice. I'm not really ashamed of it, because my dad's really cool and I enjoyed spending time with him. But damn. A 19 year old guy who, in the past 3 months, has only really hung out with his dad. Takes a certain kind of special to accomplish that. Can't wait to get back to Ireland. Starting uni, completely chuffed. Plus, Dublin is like [I]the[/I] best city in the world. Great people, great atmosphere, great night life! Miss my apartment sorely.[/QUOTE] enjoy every moment with your dad like it would be your last!
[QUOTE=loopoo;37577902]I've eaten too many M&M's and I've got really bad stomach cramps. I feel like a bit of a loser. Spent my Summer in Kuwait (a cool country in the Middle East, don't hate!) which was really relaxing, but sadly a lot of my friends go abroad. I mean, it's suicidal coming [I]to[/I] the Middle east during Summer, when temperatures can reach 50°C! Practically all the people who live here tend to go off on holiday to some other - cooler - country. So yeah, I've spent the past 3 months here, not really going out much as I haven't got anyone to go out with (and no car) so I feel like a loser. Most of my friends I know here are in colleges in America, so they generally stay in America the year round. I've been to the cinema with my dad twice. I'm not really ashamed of it, because my dad's really cool and I enjoyed spending time with him. But damn. A 19 year old guy who, in the past 3 months, has only really hung out with his dad. Takes a certain kind of special to accomplish that. Can't wait to get back to Ireland. Starting uni, completely chuffed. Plus, Dublin is like [I]the[/I] best city in the world. Great people, great atmosphere, great night life! Miss my apartment sorely. PS: Thank you DrBreen, have a heart <3[/QUOTE] Cherish your moments with him.
[QUOTE=Xonax;37574669]Okay, I don't get what you mean at the end, this part to be exact. "In that time, it will probably be that either she'll ask, or you'll spontaneously be like hey "so uh, do you consider these dates"?"[/QUOTE] Anyone?
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37577926]enjoy every moment with your dad like it would be your last![/QUOTE] Yeah, too true. A recent fiasco with SSRI's left me a complete wreck for about 2 weeks. I don't even know why, I only took two doses (1 dose each day, so a total of 2 days), but it really messed me up. My dad always told me I've been sensitive to drugs (makes sense, whenever I smoke cannabis, I always get extremely anxious, so maybe it's just in my nature [I don't smoke any more as it doesn't benefit me at all]). Spent about 2 weeks just cooped up in my room, too much of a nervous wreck to go anywhere else. My dad was absolutely great, he took care of me. I could barely function, as the slightest disturbance would send me into a panic attack. I had to close every door as I felt if they were left open, something bad would happen. Just this illogical, nonsensical feeling of impending doom if I left a door open. Dad helped me overcome this overwhelming fear, and never pushed me to do something I was uncomfortable with. I can honestly say he helped me so much and made the whole experience less terrifying. Anyways, some nights were really bad. Vivid dreams, waking up with a fluttery, tight feeling in my chest, feeling anxiety hit me like waves against my conscious. I'd spend those nights in my dads bedroom (mum is in England), on a mattress at the bottom of his bed. He didn't make me feel ashamed of what I was going through, which was a really nice thing for him to do. I originally thought he would be ashamed of me and think me less of a man for being anxious, but he completely understood it was an adverse reaction of the drugs. Anyways, it made me realize how much of a great man he is, and how lucky I am to be able to call him my father. This one night, I almost broke down because my mind was really thinking about what I would do once he's gone. It was a really upsetting thought, especially to my anxiety-ridden mind. The same thought doesn't have the huge impact it used to, because thankfully I'm back to normal. But damn, I love my parents.
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