The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=loopoo;37578075]Yeah, too true. A recent fiasco with SSRI's left me a complete wreck for about 2 weeks. I don't even know why, I only took two doses (1 dose each day, so a total of 2 days), but it really messed me up. My dad always told me I've been sensitive to drugs (makes sense, whenever I smoke cannabis, I always get extremely anxious, so maybe it's just in my nature [I don't smoke any more as it doesn't benefit me at all]).
Spent about 2 weeks just cooped up in my room, too much of a nervous wreck to go anywhere else. My dad was absolutely great, he took care of me. I could barely function, as the slightest disturbance would send me into a panic attack. I had to close every door as I felt if they were left open, something bad would happen. Just this illogical, nonsensical feeling of impending doom if I left a door open. Dad helped me overcome this overwhelming fear, and never pushed me to do something I was uncomfortable with. I can honestly say he helped me so much and made the whole experience less terrifying.
Anyways, some nights were really bad. Vivid dreams, waking up with a fluttery, tight feeling in my chest, feeling anxiety hit me like waves against my conscious. I'd spend those nights in my dads bedroom (mum is in England), on a mattress at the bottom of his bed. He didn't make me feel ashamed of what I was going through, which was a really nice thing for him to do. I originally thought he would be ashamed of me and think me less of a man for being anxious, but he completely understood it was an adverse reaction of the drugs.
Anyways, it made me realize how much of a great man he is, and how lucky I am to be able to call him my father. This one night, I almost broke down because my mind was really thinking about what I would do once he's gone. It was a really upsetting thought, especially to my anxiety-ridden mind. The same thought doesn't have the huge impact it used to, because thankfully I'm back to normal. But damn, I love my parents.[/QUOTE]
are you taking anxiety pills?
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37578547]are you taking anxiety pills?[/QUOTE]
Nope, not on any meds. After what the SSRI's put me through, I'd rather not use anything. I figured afterwards that I'm nowhere near depressed. I've just been going through a rough patch, and I've been in a dead-end relationship for two years that made me more sad than happy. So I thought I was depressed, when in actual fact I was just upset for long periods of time due to the situations I was in. Glad I came to that realization sooner rather than later. I understand some people genuinely have a problem and that SSRI's can help them, but thankfully, I'm okay without them.
[QUOTE=Xonax;37578055]Anyone?[/QUOTE]
if you two go out for a while, eventually one of you will acknowledge whether or not its a romantic relationship
I'm completely fine. I'm confident, I [I]am[/I] happy (I now realize that, whereas before I thought I wasn't), I am sociable and comfortable in social situations. It's just the whole breakup thing was the thing that tipped the scales for me. I'm not a normally anxious person (I'd say I'm wary, but not anxious. I'm just naturally inclined to be cautious, but that isn't a bad thing!) so I have no need for medication. I suppose the whole losing someone I really cared about and feeling miserable as a result clouded my judgement and made me believe I was depressed. Or perhaps I was depressed but it's for a legitimate reason, so there's no need for medication. I'm just confusing myself now.
There are no legitimate reasons for stopping yourself from being..... You can cry, maybe even be depressed, but don't let it rule your life.
[QUOTE=Kopimi;37578725]if you two go out for a while, eventually one of you will acknowledge whether or not its a romantic relationship[/QUOTE]
I am dumb, so let me translate this to my understanding.
So basically if we just hangout like going to movies, and after a couple of "dates" (Not sure what to call it), one of us basically acknowledge it is or not a romantic Relationship, which means to me, I should just let it happen?
[QUOTE=Seith;37578864]There are no legitimate reasons for stopping yourself from being..... You can cry, maybe even be depressed, but don't let it rule your life.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I was letting it rule my life for a while, but now I'm back to my old self, just loving life and the world and everyone that inhabits it (well, almost everyone, there are some enormous jerks on this rock we call home).
So, I've been home-schooled all my life and I finally start sixthform college on Monday (16-18, not sure what that translates to in the US education system). I'm really rather excited!
I just kinda wanted to ask for tips for... Fitting in I guess? I don't really consider myself a particularly shy or awkward person (especially after discovering this thread last year!). Even though sometimes I can be pretty quiet, I generally want to talk to people. So yeah, any kind of advice would be awesome!
[QUOTE=Tennisball;37580257]So, I've been home-schooled all my life and I finally start sixthform college on Monday (16-18, not sure what that translates to in the US education system). I'm really rather excited!
I just kinda wanted to ask for tips for... Fitting in I guess? I don't really consider myself a particularly shy or awkward person (especially after discovering this thread last year!). Even though sometimes I can be pretty quiet, I generally want to talk to people. So yeah, any kind of advice would be awesome![/QUOTE]
Be yourself.
[QUOTE=metallics;37580479]Be yourself.[/QUOTE]
Not sure why many say this, it's only valid if "yourself" is a good person to be around. I mean, if you're normally a socially-inept loner, it's good NOT to be yourself if you want to fit in.
In this circumstance, I think it works. I mean, the guy doesn't seem to be a complete freak, and just because he's homeschooled doesn't automatically make him more susceptible to being shunned at school. He's said he's not really a shy or awkward person and that he wants to talk to people, so it seems like he'll be fine just being him self.
But I get where you're coming from, because you're right.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37580562]Not sure why many say this, it's only valid if "yourself" is a good person to be around. I mean, if you're normally a socially-inept loner, it's good NOT to be yourself if you want to fit in.[/QUOTE]
And then you end up pretending to be someone you're not, stressed and unhappy. You can be socially inept and still make friends. Socially inept seems often more lack of practice than innate inability. I said nothing about trying to socialise, but if you pretend to be someone you aren't it'll be a disaster.
Besides, he said he isn't socially inept. Just being chill and himself and talking to people will work just fine. He will find his place.
[QUOTE=loopoo;37577630]
-You are pretty fucking amazing with this post. Thank you-[/QUOTE]
Okay.
And metallics, I am doing something.
If you read closely, which can be excused because it's a huge post, my freshman year was nothing but failing grades. My sophomore year was nothing but passing grades, and a C as my lowest. A single C.
I am trying, but it feels sometimes like a one-day changed is expected and I can't climb away from the expectation.
It just gets overwhelming after a while. But having a couple days to calm down and a few of these replies have provided amazing insight.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37580562]Not sure why many say this, it's only valid if "yourself" is a good person to be around. I mean, if you're normally a socially-inept loner, it's good NOT to be yourself if you want to fit in.[/QUOTE]
if you're a socially-inept loner you're not gonna be able to hide that in any significant extent
it's probably a good sign if somebody I fancy is repeatedly asking me to switch into one of their classes, right?
[QUOTE=Sardonus;37581774]it's probably a good sign if somebody I fancy is repeatedly asking me to switch into one of their classes, right?[/QUOTE]
Yep
[QUOTE=DrBreen;37581816]Yep[/QUOTE]
Like, 4 different times.
I think that's a good sign she might be interested.
it sounds like a good sign but I can't really understand why someone would do that, is it not enough to be able to hang out outside of school time?
[QUOTE=Sardonus;37581927]Like, 4 different times.
I think that's a good sign she might be interested.[/QUOTE]
uh
4 times?
she seems interested in you, just go for a date or something.
[QUOTE=Turnips5;37581963]it sounds like a good sign but I can't really understand why someone would do that, is it not enough to be able to hang out outside of school time?[/QUOTE]
I'm not really complaining here :v:
[QUOTE=Sardonus;37581927]Like, 4 different times.
I think that's a good sign she might be interested.[/QUOTE]
Following this vindicated statement pertaining joy of human contact is the purest of fact in the desire of emotional belonging.
so i usually prefer not rambling about myself (or especially making tl;dr-esque, inconcise posts) but here goes
i'm 18 and have always struggled in school despite being fairly intelligent. i've been in college since this january, and in spite of being fascinated by every subject i've studied, i've still done horribly on most tests and had issues keeping up with the class material. i've also noticed that the things i tend to fail at are things other students seem to have an incredibly easy time with or even consider second nature.
within the last week i've learned that i have dyslexia. i overlooked it until now because i had always thought it solely referred to seeing individual letters moving/rotating, but my difficulty is on a slightly larger scale - i view words as individual entities and can understand the definition of an individual word, but have immense difficulty understanding an entire phrase or sentence (i'm sure the absurdly long sentences i write indicates this to some extent - i often spend 5-10 minutes editing a post before posting it just to make it as concise as possible). visually, i can only focus on one word at a time and everything else appears incredibly blurry. for anyone else who's nearsighted, reading for me feels very similar to trying to focus on something 30 feet away from me without my glasses, but reading glasses only make it worse.
i'm actually incredibly happy right now because after talking to a psychologist i used to see (who also is dyslexic) i've come to realize that i'm not as weird and different as i'm usually made to feel. i've always felt extremely frustrated when trying to speak to others. language usually feels like more of a barrier than a tool of communication for me. there's constant misinterpretation on both ends in most of the conversations i attempt. however, i've noticed when talking to other people with dyslexia that they tend to have similar thought processes and it's easier for us to appreciate each other's thoughts and feelings.
at the same time i'm pretty upset that i never realized all this until now. my whole life, i've had traditional study methods forced onto me, and even when they didn't work for me i was just told to keep trying or that it was because i was lazy. i've had my grades suffer because of misinterpreting writing prompts or misunderstanding a question i would've been able to answer perfectly if i was allowed to do so in my own words. i've always excelled at writing essays or giving presentations, but things like multiple choice tests and extremely specific writing prompts have fucked me over.
[QUOTE=Memnoth;37582130]Following this vindicated statement pertaining joy of human contact is the purest of fact in the desire of emotional belonging.[/QUOTE]
word
[editline]7th September 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37582133]
at the same time i'm pretty upset that i never realized all this until now. my whole life, i've had traditional study methods forced onto me, and even when they didn't work for me i was just told to keep trying or that it was because i was lazy. [/QUOTE]
do american schools not check if their students have dyslexia?
[QUOTE=Memnoth;37582130]Following this vindicated statement pertaining joy of human contact is the purest of fact in the desire of emotional belonging.[/QUOTE]
beep boop humans
beep boop love
[QUOTE=thisispain;37582161]do american schools not check if their students have dyslexia?[/QUOTE]
apparently not, though i wouldn't be surprised if nobody had noticed my handwritten spelling just because of how illegible my handwriting already is.
as far as i can tell, most dyslexic kids get labeled as stupid or lazy instead of being offered help.
that's ridiculous and so backwards
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37582133]i'm actually incredibly happy right now because after talking to a psychologist i used to see (who also is dyslexic) i've come to realize that i'm not as weird and different as i'm usually made to feel.[/QUOTE]
Discovering a social preset to your individuality will name the identity of your comfortable self being. Embrace it and apply this truth to your behavior in every emotional situation, there is no such thing as weird concerning this description of yourself.
[QUOTE=Memnoth;37582351]Discovering a social preset to your individuality will name the identity of your comfortable self being. Embrace it and apply this truth to your behavior in every emotional situation, there is no such thing as weird concerning this description of yourself.[/QUOTE]
Can you rephrase this?
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37582223]apparently not, though i wouldn't be surprised if nobody had noticed my handwritten spelling just because of how illegible my handwriting already is.
as far as i can tell, most dyslexic kids get labeled as stupid or lazy instead of being offered help.[/QUOTE]
I have a feeling that is the case with those with dyslexia.
Because thinking on it, i never hear about anyone with dyslexia.
I might suggest grabbing a study partner for before and after tests, and then talk to the teachers about the tests.
But it is college, so i don't know how the teacher relationships will work for you.
[QUOTE=Memnoth;37582351]Discovering a social preset to your individuality will name the identity of your comfortable self being. Embrace it and apply this truth to your behavior in every emotional situation, there is no such thing as weird concerning this description of yourself.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Disseminate;37582526]Can you rephrase this?[/QUOTE]
"Everyone has flaws. It's a part of you and cannot be removed. Accept your imperfections and be happy with yourself as you are?"
Something along these lines?
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.