• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
Alright Faceounch I have a question for you. How do you go up to a girl who you have no connections with what so ever with out looking like the captain of the Spaghetti Brigade?
[QUOTE=lotusking;37582185]beep boop humans beep boop love[/QUOTE] I understand you, friend. Tell me what bothers you, so we may reach a stronger foundation in a more considerate basis of communication. [QUOTE=Disseminate;37582526]Can you rephrase this?[/QUOTE] Having been told an explanation to your difficulties offers a higher form of social acceptance which can make an individual feel more comfortable being himself.
i'm going to see about getting some sort of audio recording device and asking my professors for permission to tape their lectures. i've observed that my memory relies entirely on my own personal experiences, my emotional reactions to those experiences, and the patterns/relationships i'm able to observe in subjects i'm studying. i have no recollection whatsoever of words but can occasionally remember numbers if provided with some sort of sequence/purpose for them. today, for the first time, i decided not to take notes during a lecture and am currently able to remember everything my professor said during it. i've realized that when i take notes, i often have to put so much effort into condensing what my professor's saying into a few words that i fail to focus on the non-verbal aspects of the lecture i would actually be able to memorize.
[QUOTE=GeneralMoosen;37582693]Alright Faceounch I have a question for you. How do you go up to a girl who you have no connections with what so ever with out looking like the captain of the Spaghetti Brigade?[/QUOTE] Well, do you have class with her or something? If so, that would be a good time to go up and ask her a question with something you need help with it.
[QUOTE=areolop;37582765]Well, do you have class with her or something? If so, that would be a good time to go up and ask her a question with something you need help with it.[/QUOTE] I used to do that shit all the time, just ask her if she could help review some stuff with me pretty fucking spaghetti like when I think about it
[QUOTE=Sardonus;37582785]I used to do that shit all the time, just ask her if she could help review some stuff with me pretty fucking spaghetti like when I think about it[/QUOTE] Its contact though. It'll get you her name
[QUOTE=Disseminate;37582526]Can you rephrase this?[/QUOTE] i used to feel extremely socially isolated because i've always felt like i'm on a different wavelength than everyone else. now i've realized the cause behind all the things i considered "abnormal" about me, the main variation between myself and most of the people i meet. i'm now able to better appreciate the thought processes of others even if i don't understand them because i know what the difference specifically is. apart from that, now that i've discovered a word that encompasses all the problems i deal with both academically and socially, i've realized that i'm not alone and that many others have developed similarly and have remarkably similar thought patterns to me. i think that's what he meant
[QUOTE=areolop;37582798]Its contact though. It'll get you her name[/QUOTE] well, it worked pretty well for me so far we talk frqeuently she's the one I mentioned before who kept asking me to switch into her class this year? we chat pretty much daily, hours at a time, anything from Mass Effect, school, or life in general. I'll ask her, don't worry. Waiting for a good moment, ya know? When I got a little cash in my pocket.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37582726]today, for the first time, i decided not to take notes during a lecture and am currently able to remember everything my professor said during it. i've realized that when i take notes, i often have to put so much effort into condensing what my professor's saying into a few words that i fail to focus on the non-verbal aspects of the lecture i would actually be able to memorize.[/QUOTE] Seems to me you have found your solution. Usually when one area of the brain is dysfunctional in relation to the norms of society, another area is enhanced. This is of course not always the case, though the extreme case that is Savant Syndrome does provide an example in this matter.
[QUOTE=GeneralMoosen;37582693]Alright Faceounch I have a question for you. How do you go up to a girl who you have no connections with what so ever with out looking like the captain of the Spaghetti Brigade?[/QUOTE] practice makes perfect you're gonna fuck up sometimes, get over it, people won't mind you fucking up
[QUOTE=Memnoth;37582841]Seems to me you have found your solution. Usually when one area of the brain is dysfunctional in relation to the norms of society, another area is enhanced. This is of course not always the case, though the extreme case that is Savant Syndrome does provide an example in this matter.[/QUOTE] i've always been intrigued by brain plasticity and cortical remapping. it's amazing seeing the various methods people with brain damage or mental disorders find to get around the functions they're less capable of performing. personally, i'm extremely talented at finding patterns in things. i've always had fairly good spelling simply because i was able to pick up on root words as soon as i started learning to write. when i was studying algebra and geometry, i was able to recreate algebraic formulas etc just by understanding the logic behind a problem when in reality i had never memorized any of the concepts.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37582726]i'm going to see about getting some sort of audio recording device and asking my professors for permission to tape their lectures. i've observed that my memory relies entirely on my own personal experiences, my emotional reactions to those experiences, and the patterns/relationships i'm able to observe in subjects i'm studying. i have no recollection whatsoever of words but can occasionally remember numbers if provided with some sort of sequence/purpose for them. today, for the first time, i decided not to take notes during a lecture and am currently able to remember everything my professor said during it. i've realized that when i take notes, i often have to put so much effort into condensing what my professor's saying into a few words that i fail to focus on the non-verbal aspects of the lecture i would actually be able to memorize.[/QUOTE] i don't think this is uncommon. i read an article in scientific american (i think) that said people differ in their cognition. some people remember based on short snippets of information, while other people remember based on the situation and phrasing of that specific event. they're still trying to figure out if it's genetic or acquired via conditioning.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37582898]personally, i'm extremely talented at finding patterns in things. i've always had fairly good spelling simply because i was able to pick up on root words as soon as i started learning to write. when i was studying algebra and geometry, i was able to recreate algebraic formulas etc just by understanding the logic behind a problem when in reality i had never memorized any of the concepts.[/QUOTE] These are the things you should focus on when thinking about your identity. This for the purpose of modifying cognitive behavioral patterns which then would promote your relation with your skills of motivation and productivity, simply by being a happier person.
[QUOTE=areolop;37582765]Well, do you have class with her or something? If so, that would be a good time to go up and ask her a question with something you need help with it.[/QUOTE] No I dont have class with her. She's in my lunch period. This kind of stuff makes me wish I had stayed in journalism class. In J-Class they force you to interview people you have to don't know at all. You can't review anyone you know even a friend of a friend. I used it as an excuse to talk to girls and it worked great. I quit because if I took the next year I'd be staying after school till 11 PM at latest. I noped hard.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37582726]today, for the first time, i decided not to take notes during a lecture and am currently able to remember everything my professor said during it. i've realized that when i take notes, i often have to put so much effort into condensing what my professor's saying into a few words that i fail to focus on the non-verbal aspects of the lecture i would actually be able to memorize.[/QUOTE] I started doing this for this year and so far so good. I highly recommend trying this for people that haven't! [editline]7th September 2012[/editline] I started my second year yesterday by the way - It's so weird saying hi to all these people you saw once or twice in first year, but somehow they know who you are and treat you as if you're family. Advice to freshmen in the thread: I made far, far more friends in college out of class than in class. I mean sure, it depends on the course (I was gonna take speech this year but it was full) but in first year, I think I made one friend-acquaintance that I don't really talk to anymore in my physics class, despite arriving early to say hi to people coming in, random discussion before class etc.; I made about 10 full-on "let's go get lunch today bro! don't worry about it i'll pay!" friends from the first year society of off-campus students and as friends-of-friends. Even now after first year, I'm seeing frosh that were in high school with me come up and say hey, what's up, how was your summer etc. - people I had never even talked to during high school. Speaking of which, it so happens that about six or seven classmates from my physics class formed a clique without me and they're in all but one of my classes this term. I mean honestly, I make an effort to chat with them, and the next class, they sit across the room from me. This is going to be a long semester.
[QUOTE=GeneralMoosen;37583038]No I dont have class with her. She's in my lunch period. This kind of stuff makes me wish I had stayed in journalism class. In J-Class they force you to interview people you have to don't know at all. You can't review anyone you know even a friend of a friend. I used it as an excuse to talk to girls and it worked great. I quit because if I took the next year I'd be staying after school till 11 PM at latest. I noped hard.[/QUOTE] You can just approach people off the street really, but you don't have to. It's healthy though. I don't do it but I'm starting to feel that I very easily could, people are often much more interested in your life than you think. Speaking of that, I think it's so weird how things can turn around - when I was 15, the trend to be seen as 'cool' and 'a nice person' was to demonstrate your awareness that "all people are assholes at heart " and to be like "I don't care what this stranger has to say, I don't give a fuck about your issue that you're talking to me about, now get off my face and let me listen to my Ipod". I am guilty as charged for thinking like that quite often, but over the years you realise just how counterproductive it is to being social.
[QUOTE=metallics;37580699]And then you end up pretending to be someone you're not, stressed and unhappy. You can be socially inept and still make friends. Socially inept seems often more lack of practice than innate inability. I said nothing about trying to socialise, but if you pretend to be someone you aren't it'll be a disaster.[/quote] You missed the point, unless I missed the point. When I said that, I mean, trying to fit in, if you couldn't before, means changing your behaviour to an extent. I didn't mean pretending to be a whole new person, but undoubtedly the part of you that everyone else sees will change.
where can i meet girls who like art
[QUOTE=Jay Gatsby;37585231]where can i meet girls who like art[/QUOTE] I think you're assuming that all girls who like art sequester themselves off in coffee shops or something
I broke up with my girlfriend of like eleven and a half months today. I am only that specific because it is pretty close to the time I met her last year. I returned something she was keeping at my house. It was an excuse to talk to her because I wanted to hug her and I had this desire for her to say or do something to fix the situation and make us all right again. She wasn't home. I saw her on her bike when I was driving out of her neighborhood. She was riding home and we made eye contact, but just kinda moved past each other. I still really care about her and, as far as I am concerned, love her a bunch. But we don't work together.
Sorry to hear that, man. I hope you parted amicably, or at least as amicably as possible under those circumstances.
Fuck, I'm starting to fall back into my high school mentality when it comes to being social. And I'm just ditching everyone when they're doing something I most likely won't enjoy. Tomorrow they're watching some anime all day and since I have no interest in anime I'll be in my room watching war movies all day. It sucks only having like 5 friends.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37585783]Fuck, I'm starting to fall back into my high school mentality when it comes to being social. And I'm just ditching everyone when they're doing something I most likely won't enjoy. Tomorrow they're watching some anime all day and since I have no interest in anime I'll be in my room watching war movies all day. It sucks only having like 5 friends.[/QUOTE] made the right decision imo
[QUOTE=Kopimi;37586080]made the right decision imo[/QUOTE] I mean yeah if I don't like anime I'm making a great choice, but I'm seriously finding it depressing to be in my room all day because I have no other friends other than the people planning to watch anime all day.
[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;37585759]Sorry to hear that, man. I hope you parted amicably, or at least as amicably as possible under those circumstances.[/QUOTE] We both feel like shit, but we don't hate each other. I know that she wants to be with me still and I want to be with her too. But we don't fit together. She doesn't do things to be with me anymore. I know her feelings are entirely genuine and I really wish that that's all it took, but I need her to be able to communicate to me when we need to talk and to set aside time for me, within reason of course. We've had issues with communication for a while and I tell her about it and we talk about it and she promises that we can talk and things and for a while it's alright, but for her to realize how much damage it's doing, we always have to sink really low, while the time in between is spent with her not properly conveying anything to me. I don't know anything of what she's been up to this week and all plans are falling through and I can't talk to her about it because she wouldn't properly say anything to me. It really gets me. We both want to be together, but we have big issues that she's incapable of fixing, by past example. I want it to be my fault so I can fix it, but aside from blaming myself for wanting things that she appears unequipped to provide, I can't really find fault in myself for the things going wrong.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37582223]apparently not, though i wouldn't be surprised if nobody had noticed my handwritten spelling just because of how illegible my handwriting already is. as far as i can tell, most dyslexic kids get labeled as stupid or lazy instead of being offered help.[/QUOTE] Are you sure your college offers no aid to people with dyslexia? Over here (Ireland), if you have dyslexia or another other disorder (anxiety, depression, ADD, ADHD, a huge host of them), you get lots of help from the school system. I remember when we were all applying to our colleges, this guy with depression got the grades he required knocked down by a huge margin (he had to get official documents from a psychiatrist and his doctor), and another girl who was suffering from dyslexia also had the grades required lowered. They both got the courses they wanted (I can't remember what they picked) and once they got into college, the college's guidance counselor took care of them and ensured they both could work to their full potential. If you don't have that sort of treatment in America, then I feel bad for you, because it's unfair on you and anyone else who suffers from dyslexia. Look into any help or aid you can receive for having dyslexia, I'm sure there must be something (education-wise, to see if perhaps there's something you can do to make learning an experience that sits better with the way your brain works).
And she really appreciated me for who I was. Maybe I didn't appreciate her as she was as much as I should have? Maybe I wanted her to be something that I had no need for her to be and it just upset myself unnecessarily because of silly ideas. The big problems still stay, even if I think that though. But maybe we could have worked through them together.
Ah, it appears you found a solution. Protip: that recording lectures idea is fan-fucking-tastic. I did that a few times myself, and it [I]really[/I] helped. What thisispain said is true as well, everyone is unique when it comes to a method of learning that suits them. I - personally - can't learn well from taking notes down. I have to be actively taking part in the lecture or subject we're studying: asking questions, listening, paying attention to what the teacher says. When I start writing down, I completely lose all focus of what the guy is actually saying, as I'm just repeating in my head over and over the sentences he's saying so I don't forget them. Best of luck with the recording idea, it'll work a treat I'm sure. And again, ask your college if they offer any help.
Sounds like you made the right decision, Mind. Even though you both might care a lot about each other, it sounds like you just had very different needs from the relationship. You needed more openness and communication than she was comfortable with. For someone like you, and me, being with a person who can't communicate their feelings makes you feel miserable. It makes you feel like you're not doing enough, or that maybe you're doing too much, or that maybe you're doing just the right amount, but in the totally wrong way. It's confusing and unhappy, and it's frustrating because you know you could brush all the worries aside just by hearing the right words, but the one person you need to hear them from will never say them. It sucks, but if it comes between living with that feeling all the time, or being alone, then I'd choose the latter.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;37586340]And she really appreciated me for who I was. Maybe I didn't appreciate her as she was as much as I should have? Maybe I wanted her to be something that I had no need for her to be and it just upset myself unnecessarily because of silly ideas. The big problems still stay, even if I think that though. But maybe we could have worked through them together.[/QUOTE] I really admire how you've handled your situation. It takes serious balls to let someone go who you really care about because you know that being with them will just end up hurting both of you in the long run. [editline]2:59[/editline] [sp]balls that I am fairly certain I lack[/sp]
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