The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
Pm me i ve been doing it for a long time....
But seriously that is probably what it is. I'm going to try and squeeze in 50 or so more a day, and see the difference that makes. But I like not being horny all the fucking time. I like feeling the need to love. :3
Pm me ur goals for said diet and ill peobably concut a better sokution
Yeah I know that feel ke||oggs. I get brief twinges of excitement now and again but most of the time, nothing.
[QUOTE=Seith;37720438]False and no they do not always start with "infatuation".... Your description is based on relationships out of pure impulse rather than selective choices... Which are in fact not relationship in the first place. A relationship is a mutual binding of trust not pure emotions driving each and every action.[/QUOTE]
boop
e: but seriously i do disagree. i can't imagine too many romantic relationships starting not based on infatuation. i mean, how else does it work - "well her hips and breasts are of the ideal proportions to produce children, so i'll engage with her for maximum propagation of the species"
Why does it have to be either, black n white? infatuation according to the dictionary is [i]Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love: 'expresses the headlong libidinal attraction' of addictive love. [/i] .... The notion that I need to be in an "addictive" state or be carried away because I see a girl I fancy physically...... I would agree that exists, in most men, where they get to sleep with women by chance or whatever, but for the most part have no control over which women are attracted to them so they'll want to preserve it... so they act impulsively (i.e infatuation)
I can imagine a romantic relationship where I am not carried away blindly, but rather emotionally deeply invested because the woman I see in front of me is beautiful and intelligent and not just because it's a woman and she's in front of me and we might have sex.
I somewhat surprisingly agree with seith
You don't need to be infatuated to go out with someone at all, in fact in my eyes being infatuated with someone kind of lessens them as interesting people. I find when I become infatuated with someone she ends up becoming an object of infatuation, not a person.
[QUOTE=Seith;37722702]Why does it have to be either, black n white? infatuation according to the dictionary is [i]Infatuation is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion or love: 'expresses the headlong libidinal attraction' of addictive love. [/i] .... The notion that I need to be in an "addictive" state or be carried away because I see a girl I fancy physically...... I would agree that exists, in most men, where they get to sleep with women by chance or whatever, but for the most part have no control over which women are attracted to them so they'll want to preserve it... so they act impulsively (i.e infatuation)
I can imagine a romantic relationship where I am not carried away blindly, but rather emotionally deeply invested because the woman I see in front of me is beautiful and intelligent and not just because it's a woman and she's in front of me and we might have sex.[/QUOTE]
Actually I'd agree with your basic premise, that it's not *necessary* - in hindsight I suppose it's perfectly possible to grow to love someone, so to speak, and have a relationship develop from that.
That said, I'd still argue that infatuation is /usually/ the beginning stage. Putting aside the pitfalls of anecdotal evidence, my interest in women has always started with infatuation (which has either passed, or hasn't) - not by any choice of mine. Nor am I limiting this infatuation to split-second situations (i.e. a chance to sleep with someone that won't arise again) - it's more holistic than that.
It really sucks when you have no other choice but to cut someone out of your life once and for all.
But oh well, at least I've made some experience.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37717243]He's picking out certain bits of information and ignoring the context, which of course completely changes it. To my mind, that's an example of eclecticism, if not in the specific sense.
And like I said, the autism's not really the issue, it's more the fact that I'm not good at establishing a rapport on my own initiative.[/QUOTE]
[url]http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034[/url]
Okay guys, this is what I'm pretty sure is a genuine issue.
This guy, hereafter referred to as HIM for anonymity reasons, currently considers me something of a psychopath. Why? I proposed to him a while ago that if I were to say, create my own poison, and I wanted to test it, I should test it on rats. If it helps, here's the entire chatlog: [url]http://pastebin.com/mFcQPHWM[/url]
Whether or not you read the chatlog (it's long but IMO fairly interesting), who do you think is in the wrong?
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37725658]Okay guys, this is what I'm pretty sure is a genuine issue.
This guy, hereafter referred to as HIM for anonymity reasons, currently considers me something of a psychopath. Why? I proposed to him a while ago that if I were to say, create my own poison, and I wanted to test it, I should test it on rats. If it helps, here's the entire chatlog: [url]http://pastebin.com/mFcQPHWM[/url]
Whether or not you read the chatlog (it's long but IMO fairly interesting), who do you think is in the wrong?[/QUOTE]
You're probably not a psychopath. Scientists use rats in experiments all the time. Are all scientists psychopaths? Pest control kill rats all the time. Are all pest control workers psychopaths? Sure it may be morally wrong in his opinion, that's his morals, everybody has different morals and to make such a sweeping generalisation without any other support except "once said test poison on rats" makes somebody a psychopath is morally wrong in my book.
[quote=him]Your high ground takes place because you see my thoughts on the matter as inferior. If you didn't then you'd have the same thoughts.[/quote]
That may apply for him, but it doesn't apply to everybody. I can respect someone's opinion while having an opposing one. He doesn't like your opinion on the matter and ran out of informed argument so resorted to ad hominem. Looks like he's a save the world kinda guy and that's fine, it's just trying to force it onto you like that is a little unnecessary.
You shouldn't really care whether he thinks this or not anyway. If I called you a tree would you be offended? Probably not, because you aren't one.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37725658]Okay guys, this is what I'm pretty sure is a genuine issue.
This guy, hereafter referred to as HIM for anonymity reasons, currently considers me something of a psychopath. Why? I proposed to him a while ago that if I were to say, create my own poison, and I wanted to test it, I should test it on rats. If it helps, here's the entire chatlog: [url]http://pastebin.com/mFcQPHWM[/url]
Whether or not you read the chatlog (it's long but IMO fairly interesting), who do you think is in the wrong?[/QUOTE]
i think you wish you were a psychopath so you can tell people you're troubled and have issues
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37726043]i think you wish you were a psychopath so you can tell people you're troubled and have issues[/QUOTE]
I have enough issues without pretending to be something I have absolutely no wish to be or look like
I know Facepunch is cynical but goddamn that guess is just so far-fetched it's not pessimism, it's automatically assuming the worst in people
So my girlfriend just broke up with me, sort of. She said we should just be friends for now, but she'd like to come back to the relationship later, because, as she said "[She's] just not in the right mental or emotional state for a relationship right now". She said she doesn't want it to get awkward between us. Though we both know it will be for a little bit. I don't quite remember how she worded it, but basically said she felt like she wasn't being what I wanted, which I disagreed with. She also said that it would make hanging out "easier", though when I asked her to explain what she meant, she couldn't put it into words.
So, yeah...
[QUOTE=Seith;37720438]Your description is based on relationships out of pure impulse rather than selective choices[/QUOTE]
holy shit lol
BEEP BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP
YOUR PARTNER MATCH IS ...
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37726132]I have enough issues without pretending to be something I have absolutely no wish to be or look like
I know Facepunch is cynical but goddamn that guess is just so far-fetched it's not pessimism, it's automatically assuming the worst in people[/QUOTE]
"being a psychopath" isnt a genuine issue that anyone worries about
a psychopath wouldn't give a shit if they were a psychopath, and if you were really concerned that you were one, you could just go get a test
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37726393]"being a psychopath" isnt a genuine issue that anyone worries about
a psychopath wouldn't give a shit if they were a psychopath, and if you were really concerned that you were one, you could just go get a test[/QUOTE]
Ohright, I think you've misunderstood, I'm not worried, but I am annoyed that he continues to see me as one
[QUOTE=killerteacup;37722767]I somewhat surprisingly agree with seith
You don't need to be infatuated to go out with someone at all, in fact in my eyes being infatuated with someone kind of lessens them as interesting people. I find when I become infatuated with someone she ends up becoming an object of infatuation, not a person.[/QUOTE]
kind of sucks that you can't just wait to ask someone out until you're done being infatuated with them so you can see if you really like them or not, you'll likely have missed the window
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37727354]Ohright, I think you've misunderstood, I'm not worried, but I am annoyed that he continues to see me as one[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Anthrax713;37725924]You shouldn't really care whether he thinks this or not anyway. If I called you a tree would you be offended? Probably not, because you aren't one.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37725658]Okay guys, this is what I'm pretty sure is a genuine issue.
This guy, hereafter referred to as HIM for anonymity reasons, currently considers me something of a psychopath. Why? I proposed to him a while ago that if I were to say, create my own poison, and I wanted to test it, I should test it on rats. If it helps, here's the entire chatlog: [url]http://pastebin.com/mFcQPHWM[/url]
Whether or not you read the chatlog (it's long but IMO fairly interesting), who do you think is in the wrong?[/QUOTE]
does it really matter all that much if he thinks that way about you?
if you can't convince him you're not a psychopath, don't try to convince him. don't even try to pick out who's "in the wrong." just accept it and move on. it's not that big of a deal
Well yeah but him and a girl with whom I used to be friends now [I]really[/I] don't like me. She yaps on about how I'm so scary; no doubt she's going to tell all our mutual friends, as well as any new people we both may meet, about this, being horribly biased in the process, and potentially poison current and future relationships.
[editline]20th September 2012[/editline]
It's infuriating how stubborn they are. No matter what I say, no matter how good my argument, they are going to insist that I am a scary psychopath that should be avoided!!!11!!!111
Why are you arguing with them? Personally, I'd make a joke about it; [i]I have standards, I only kill ugly people[/i]
You can't control what people think of you so it doesn't really matter...
[QUOTE=Seith;37733959]You can't control what people think of you so it doesn't really matter...[/QUOTE]
What? Just because someone has formed an opinion doesn't mean you can't change it. Maybe not when you're a robot with strict programming, but us humans have a thing called [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_will"]free will[/URL] which in turn leads to a thing called [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_choice_theory"]choices.[/URL]
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37733887]no matter how good my argument, they are going to insist that I am a scary psychopath that should be avoided!!!11!!!111[/QUOTE]
then stop arguing
[QUOTE=wizard`;37734075]then stop arguing[/QUOTE]
Yeah, by this time I've kinda' given up. Problem now is damage control. She's likely to tell everyone she comes across about this, poisoning the well, which could become a bad thing.
this is your own fault, you need to learn to let things go and that some people are not worth the braincells
[QUOTE=Clunj;37734072]What? Just because someone has formed an opinion doesn't mean you can't change it. Maybe not when you're a robot with strict programming, but us humans have a thing called [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_will"]free will[/URL] which in turn leads to a thing called [URL="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_choice_theory"]choices.[/URL][/QUOTE]
.... I am talking about what goes on in their heads. If I shit my pants in public and come back a year later with a fancy car and a lot of women, yes, people could change their opinion on me from skinny white kid to rich mother fucker, but I still cannot control what goes on in their heads - whether they like me or not, hate me or love me, you cannot control it or know what people think of you thus it really does not matter what they think of you.
-snip-
just tell them they're safe because of the code of harry
Sorry, you need to Log In to post a reply to this thread.