The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37779375]Fuck it, I think I'm just going to accept that every girl who wants to date probably has a boyfriend by now. Maybe if I realize this I'll stop giving a shit and feel better.[/QUOTE]
Why would you accept that?
[QUOTE=areolop;37779395]Why would you accept that?[/QUOTE]
Because it's probably true.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37779375]Fuck it, I think I'm just going to accept that every girl who wants to date probably has a boyfriend by now. Maybe if I realize this I'll stop giving a shit and feel better.[/QUOTE]
why don't you just fucking grow up? you're not a little boy anymore, you're in college and you're supposed to be on your way to become an educated adult. accept the fact that you will become angry, you will become embarrassed, and there's the chance that you will fail in a disastrous way.
but part of not being a child is learning how to deal with this in a way that isn't self-destructive or childish. you're posting about this because you do give a shit, as much as you'd want to convince yourself otherwise. LISTEN to what we have to say, because chances are we went through the same exact thing you did.
I really wish I wouldn't have been so anti social in high school. Then I would have learned how to deal with this shit a while ago instead of physically being an adult but socially and mentally being a 12 year old.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37778392]Well I went back to my room and beat the shit out my pillow and other random shit instead of beating the shit out of the people responsible for pissing me off, does that count?[/QUOTE]
holy shit you are a weird motherfucker
solution:
- stop being anti-social
- stop using your past as an excuse for acting silly
I thought the same thing only with confidence issues. But then, with a great deal of peer pressure, I grew a pair and just went for it. I didnt care for the output but just the act of doing it was amazing
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37779497]solution:
- stop being anti-social
- stop using your past as an excuse for acting silly[/QUOTE]
Except this isn't something I can do overnight like you're making it sound like.
what, you can't just go up to someone and talk to them?
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37779538]what, you can't just go up to someone and talk to them?[/QUOTE]
I really try to. But whenever I go to open my mouth, something in my mind tells me not to do it.
[editline]23rd September 2012[/editline]
So basically when I go to talk to a girl I end up just awkwardly looking at her and then just going away.
[editline]23rd September 2012[/editline]
Or I sit beside a girl in class and do pretty much the same thing.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37779512]Except this isn't something I can do overnight like you're making it sound like.[/QUOTE]
Actually you can.
Every time you think "well I'm like this because back when I..." stop yourself because it's a useless thought that only makes you allow yourself an excuse. It's detrimental to moving forward.
As with the anti-social thing, those clubs you hated? Stop that. Join the one you hate the least because it doesn't matter what you're doing, only that you're doing it WITH PEOPLE. People that you're not obligated to see, so if you fuck up and like shit in someone's pants or something that no one will get over, you don't need to continue getting together with them. Just learn from being around people more how to be around people easily.
And don't punch things. It will give you problems with your hands when you're older and is an unhealthy way to vent emotion. Watch porn or doodle or read or go for a walk or remind yourself that those two people were not mocking you because they likely don't give a shit about you. And while that may sound mean, you don't give a shit about very many other people either. No one is out to get you because no one cares. Not in a negative way, just a neutral way. So don't get worked up over it.
[editline]24th September 2012[/editline]
And if you think the root of your emotional turmoil is your lack of a significant other (it isn't) then you can help sooth that ache by making [i]yourself[/i] a better person.
Self improvement is seriously a huge boost to anyone's morale. Plus, when other people see your improvement, they'll be much less likely to think "oh he's a loner" or something. Exercise. Eat healthy and take care of stuff in your life. Start making yourself a list of things to do each day the night before, and do at least 75% of those things. Each one you cross off will make you feel a bit better.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37778319]Wow. When I was coming back from getting food this couple got in the elevator and started making out as if to mock me for being alone. This shit isn't fucking helping, it's just making me more desperate and inducing more rage and stress.[/QUOTE]
lol
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37779557]I really try to. But whenever I go to open my mouth, something in my mind tells me not to do it.
[editline]23rd September 2012[/editline]
So basically when I go to talk to a girl I end up just awkwardly looking at her and then just going away.
[editline]23rd September 2012[/editline]
Or I sit beside a girl in class and do pretty much the same thing.[/QUOTE]
That can't be terribly uncommon, but you're never going to get over it if you don't at least accept that you are the problem, rather than dismissing any 'decent' girls out of hand as already being taken. Or, better yet, try not to look at every girl you meet as a potential date, because that's what this smacks of.
Went to girl's house
asked if she wanted to watch a movie
we watched a movie
she asked if I wanted to watch another
I ordered a pizza and got some drinks
we watched another
Did I do good?
[QUOTE=Megafan;37779823]That can't be terribly uncommon, but you're never going to get over it if you don't at least accept that you are the problem, rather than dismissing any 'decent' girls out of hand as already being taken. Or, better yet, try not to look at every girl you meet as a potential date, because that's what this smacks of.[/QUOTE]
But if nobody saw at least a vast majority of the girls they meet as potential dates, how would anyone get in relationships then?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37780221]But if nobody saw at least a vast majority of the girls they meet as potential dates, how would anyone get in relationships then?[/QUOTE]
I would say there's a difference between 'seeing the vast majority of girls [I]as[/I] potential dates' and 'seeing the vast majority of girls as you would anyone else, and depending on the circumstances, potentially going on a date with them'.
Might sound like semantics, but the way I see it, it's how you think about it that counts.
[QUOTE=slayer20;37780177]Went to girl's house
asked if she wanted to watch a movie
we watched a movie
she asked if I wanted to watch another
I ordered a pizza and got some drinks
we watched another
Did I do good?[/QUOTE]
uuh no
especially if she asked you if you wanted to watch a second movie, she clearly wanted you to make a move, not just sit there enjoying a film
[QUOTE=slayer20;37780177]Went to girl's house
asked if she wanted to watch a movie
we watched a movie
she asked if I wanted to watch another
I ordered a pizza and got some drinks
we watched another
Did I do good?[/QUOTE]
good ole frigid slayer20
[QUOTE=Megafan;37780313]I would say there's a difference between 'seeing the vast majority of girls [I]as[/I] potential dates' and 'seeing the vast majority of girls as you would anyone else, and depending on the circumstances, potentially going on a date with them'.
Might sound like semantics, but the way I see it, it's how you think about it that counts.[/QUOTE]
You should talk to women to find someone cool to have in your life. If you find that person makes you particularly happy then the only logical step is to have a more intimate relationship with them. Sounds robotic in a way but it seems to make sense.
[QUOTE=slayer20;37780177]Went to girl's house
asked if she wanted to watch a movie
we watched a movie
she asked if I wanted to watch another
I ordered a pizza and got some drinks
we watched another
Did I do good?[/QUOTE]
she wanted the dick
but you didnt give her the dick
fission mailed
and additionally, the best kind of relationship is the one where both people are happy individuals in their own rights.
some people are alone, and they will be alone till they die. the point of life is to make sure that alone or not alone you are fulfilled and happy
if that doesn't work 420 everyday blaze it fggt
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37778819]Technically I live in university dorms and not at home, but same thing really. And really I mostly just leave to go to class or get food because there's nothing else to do here. I checked out all the clubs when they had the club day and they were all shitty.
[editline]23rd September 2012[/editline]
The problem is I have no fucking clue why seemingly everyone else can have a happy relationship but I can't. Just the mere sight of a happy couple makes me mad and makes me give them death glares.[/QUOTE]
no clue? no clue at all? maybe because you're a lonely spiteful dude with no hobbies or interests
[editline]24th September 2012[/editline]
seriously try to lighten up and deal with your angers like a big boy. nobody looks at some brooding pissed off dude and says "man I'd like to get to know him!"
[QUOTE=Kopimi;37780441]no clue? no clue at all? maybe because you're a lonely spiteful dude with no hobbies or interests[/QUOTE]
Dude... come on.
He's come here because he needs help and wants it from us (whether he realizes it or not). The least you could do is not flame him.
[QUOTE=Kopimi;37780441]no clue? no clue at all? maybe because you're a lonely spiteful dude with no hobbies or interests[/QUOTE]
Gaming doesn't count as a hobby or interest says the guy who has his Steam profile linked on Facepunch.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37780368]uuh no
especially if she asked you if you wanted to watch a second movie, she clearly wanted you to make a move, not just sit there enjoying a film[/QUOTE]
What kind of move? I mean, this is the first time we've actually hung out together.
It's also kind of hard to shield myself from all the pop culture shit that says you have to date in college and that really doesn't help.
what do you need to shield yourself from????
i think before you even start thinking about dating you need to see what your problem is.
[QUOTE=thisispain;37780386]good ole frigid slayer20[/QUOTE]
I'm learning :v:
Tae, you need to sort yourself before you give a wack at dating, it's not fair to the people around you who you'll eventually end up trying to date.
[QUOTE=thisispain;37780540]what do you need to shield yourself from????
i think before you even start thinking about dating you need to see what your problem is.[/QUOTE]
I don't even know I just feel like I'm being put under pressure to date by society in general and that society thinks it's weird for me to be 18 and have never had a girlfriend.
[editline]23rd September 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;37780567]Tae, you need to sort yourself before you give a wack at dating, it's not fair to the people around you who you'll eventually end up trying to date.[/QUOTE]
I don't think anything short of professional help will truly work, but that's more money I don't have.
you're putting yourself under pressure, no-one else is. if you don't want to date that's fine but obviously you do so what society says is irrelevant.
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