• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
Hi guys. So I've never had or been close to getting a girlfriend in my 17 years of life, and recently I have been told by my own best friend that I "have no soul" and "don't empathize." I thought I was just a normal guy but apparently not. I don't really know what I'm expecting but does anyone have any advice on showing empathy? P.S. I'm not a psychopath, honest.
[QUOTE=Pucenator;34780088]Hi guys. So I've never had or been close to getting a girlfriend in my 17 years of life, and recently I have been told by my own best friend that I "have no soul" and "don't empathize." I thought I was just a normal guy but apparently not. I don't really know what I'm expecting but does anyone have any advice on showing empathy? P.S. I'm not a psychopath, honest.[/QUOTE] Empathy is the ability to understand what other people feel. So pretty much to gain empathy you have to pretty much put yourself out there and experience life. Basically empathy is how people connect, like how I can say "man my day was pretty shitty" and I am sure you could say "yea I know how that feels man, here is what i do to cheer up..blah blah blah" and then the conversation rolls from there. People are judgmental and a lot of the time people who are quiet and awkward get labeled as stuck up or unfeeling. People will try to talk to a quiet person and when that person does not respond to their satisfaction they feel as if they are being ignored. So the only thing you can really do is be more extroverted and friendly with people. Try to connect to what theyre feeling and express it.
Can relationships at 17 and shit last a while or does it rarely last? Reason i want to know me and this girl are going out we are very open with each other can it last or is it plain young lust..we both want it to last though. [editline]20th February 2012[/editline] Well has anyone at this age lasted longer than a year
can't really say for 100% certain but most relationships at any age don't last. when you're younger relationships tend to be a lot shorter because you change so much when you are young.
[QUOTE=thisispain;34780503]can't really say for 100% certain but most relationships at any age don't last. when you're younger relationships tend to be a lot shorter because you change so much when you are young.[/QUOTE] we are most likely fully mature we were brought up strictly
i don't like my friends but i don't feel like i can make new ones i really don't think i've ever felt so alone before, i feel like the world's biggest loser
[QUOTE=Lexinator;34780888]we are most likely fully mature we were brought up strictly[/QUOTE] just by that statement i can tell you probably aren't at all. but i don't see why it should bother you.
-snip- Oh well I'll just let life take it's course
As of yesterday, I found out that there actually are things to do here. If you've got friends, a car, and the willingness to break a few trespassing laws, nighttime adventuring/urban exploration can be a lot of fun. It's a bit trickier to find abandoned buildings here since they're usually taken down and built over quickly, but it's not impossible.
[QUOTE=Mon;34780956]i don't like my friends but i don't feel like i can make new ones i really don't think i've ever felt so alone before, i feel like the world's biggest loser[/QUOTE] What for man?
[QUOTE=YugiReggie;34782272]What for man?[/QUOTE] i could go on for hours. really. but i know that's what all the dumbasses do. everyone hates my ass. there are people who want to jump me for the things i've said. i just talk. i don't think before i do it. the words just come out. i've been like that since i was a child. it's pissed everyone off. the girl who said she liked me? she's brushed me off for another, better looking guy. i see the two of them all the time now. they're just so goddamn happy. i could never be that good to her. not ever. when i talk to her now, i sound like the biggest creep ever. i see the sparks flying between them and it just makes me want to shoot myself. i can't even chat with people on facebook anymore. none of them want to talk to me. i don't blame them. i've really fucked up.
[QUOTE=Mon;34782431]i could go on for hours. really. but i know that's what all the dumbasses do. everyone hates my ass. there are people who want to jump me for the things i've said. i just talk. i don't think before i do it. the words just come out. i've been like that since i was a child. it's pissed everyone off. the girl who said she liked me? she's brushed me off for another, better looking guy. i see the two of them all the time now. they're just so goddamn happy. i could never be that good to her. not ever. when i talk to her now, i sound like the biggest creep ever. i see the sparks flying between them and it just makes me want to shoot myself. i can't even chat with people on facebook anymore. none of them want to talk to me. i don't blame them. i've really fucked up.[/QUOTE] Lol, I'll talk to u man. I love giving advice, and I really believe you can turn around whatever situation you're in.
[QUOTE=Lexinator;34780448]Can relationships at 17 and shit last a while or does it rarely last? Reason i want to know me and this girl are going out we are very open with each other can it last or is it plain young lust..we both want it to last though. [editline]20th February 2012[/editline] Well has anyone at this age lasted longer than a year[/QUOTE] They usually don't, but if you can get in a relationship you can learn a lot for the future. Besides they're fun while they last. [editline]20th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Lexinator;34780888]we are most likely fully mature we were brought up strictly[/QUOTE] also dumb is a little harsh, more "naive," but usually people who think they are very mature end up being extremely immature in a relationship. Strict upbringing only enforces that immaturity too. Real maturity comes from a shitload of experience, responsibility, etc.
I feel kinda the same way. I can't make friends anymore. I don't know what it is, I try to start conversations - they're not weird at all, and people generally enjoy talking to me. But it's never anything more than friendly chat. I keep watching my Facebook friends counter go down and it makes me sad that people are unfriending me when all I do is post funny pictures. I mean, I love my life now. But I'm starting to miss natural social interactions, and it's starting to really get under my skin. And the worst part is, I'm making an active effort to fill that void. Maybe I'm not the funny, easy to talk to person I thought I was. I don't know.
Enjoy the friends friends you have now. All I can really say at the moment. I pretty much have no friends because I'm an idiot 99% of the time. [editline]20th February 2012[/editline] Correction, I'm an idiot 100.5% of the time
I don't get to see my old high school friends anymore, they're all off in different states. Above that, attempts to text/make plans when they're back home are futile. I can't remember the last time I used my phone for communication that wasn't between my parents and I.
My phone's inbox has completely dried up in the past couple weeks. No one texts me anymore.
Yeah, I kept trying to reach out and I eventually just gave up. The closest I have to friends is the sort of "hey you're in my class, what'd you do on the homework" kind of stuff and that kind of conversation gets old after awhile.
[QUOTE=Ladowerf;34735046]i love getting high so i say let him do whatever, though if he's depending on it for emotional reasons thats a BIG red light and he might have a deeper problem then needing to smoke a j[/QUOTE] Probably not in school though. That's not safe. [editline]20th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Makol;34787234]My phone's inbox has completely dried up in the past couple weeks. No one texts me a anymore.[/QUOTE] Same here! I have this perfect 3 day weekend to do stuff, but no one's responding to anything! Not returning skype messages, facebook, or texts! Shenanigans
[QUOTE=Protocol7;34787245]Yeah, I kept trying to reach out and I eventually just gave up. The closest I have to friends is the sort of "hey you're in my class, what'd you do on the homework" kind of stuff and that kind of conversation gets old after awhile.[/QUOTE] I really haven't put much effort into making friends where I live now since I planned on moving at the end of the year but I'm not too sure what's goin to happen with that plan. But that doesn't mean I kept to myself all this time, I talk to a few people in my classes and neighbors.
saw this on facebook. instantly felt better about my social life [img]http://dl.dropbox.com/u/5847979/oho.jpg[/img] (the two aren't in a relationship btw, he just keeps commenting on her photos and getting called a creep for it) i genuinely feel sorry for him
What the fuck is :$
I can understand facebook creeping since basically everyone does it but some people take it too far
[QUOTE=Protocol7;34787123]I feel kinda the same way. I can't make friends anymore. I don't know what it is, I try to start conversations - they're not weird at all, and people generally enjoy talking to me. But it's never anything more than friendly chat. I keep watching my Facebook friends counter go down and it makes me sad that people are unfriending me when all I do is post funny pictures. I mean, I love my life now. But I'm starting to miss natural social interactions, and it's starting to really get under my skin. And the worst part is, I'm making an active effort to fill that void. Maybe I'm not the funny, easy to talk to person I thought I was. I don't know.[/QUOTE] ya... stop trying to please other people so theyll talk to you more. its funny, because trying to please them will just push them away, the only thing that will attract attention is if you live as yourself. if still nobody likes u, change yourself! do new activites and shit, learn how to write music or paint. oh yea, and remember that time is irrelevant in all matters, time is an illusion, it's non existant, only what is real is what's in the present, so all your past attempts at doing anything are oblivious, and you can start completely fresh right now, isnt that awesome?
[QUOTE=YugiReggie;34789384]ya... stop trying to please other people so theyll talk to you more. its funny, because trying to please them will just push them away, the only thing that will attract attention is if you live as yourself. if still nobody likes u, change yourself! do new activites and shit, learn how to write music or paint. oh yea, and remember that time is irrelevant in all matters, time is an illusion, it's non existant, only what is real is what's in the present, so all your past attempts at doing anything are oblivious, and you can start completely fresh right now, isnt that awesome?[/QUOTE]If you were trying to make that sound profound and wise then you failed miserably
[QUOTE=YugiReggie;34789384]ya... stop trying to please other people so theyll talk to you more. its funny, because trying to please them will just push them away, the only thing that will attract attention is if you live as yourself. if still nobody likes u, change yourself! do new activites and shit, learn how to write music or paint. oh yea, and remember that time is irrelevant in all matters, time is an illusion, it's non existant, only what is real is what's in the present, so all your past attempts at doing anything are oblivious, and you can start completely fresh right now, isnt that awesome?[/QUOTE] I'm not trying to "please" anyone. That implies I'm a kissass. I just want to get to know people - if I'm trying to please anyone, it's myself. Yes, I'm aware that's a masturbation joke waiting to happen.
[QUOTE=Glitch360;34789479]If you were trying to make that sound profound and wise then you failed miserably[/QUOTE] :suicide:
[QUOTE=Glitch360;34789065]What the fuck is :$[/QUOTE] I believe its a blushing face... somehow [editline]20th February 2012[/editline] facebook logic
it is a blushing face, from back in the days of MSN [img]http://www.precisionnutrition.com/members/images/smilies/msn/blush.gif[/img]
You learn something new every day.
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