• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
Make your move and find out.
[QUOTE=thisispain;37823952]☺[/QUOTE] you liar its just a smiley face!! [url]http://i.imgur.com/WyX19.png[/url] but really small!
he's smiling while staring at you from a long distance
[QUOTE=Autumn;37821680]we need a Creepy emote[/QUOTE] [img]http://i.imgur.com/i7k4J.jpg[/img]
[QUOTE=lotusking;37824569][img]http://i.imgur.com/i7k4J.jpg[/img][/QUOTE] Oh god what. [editline]27th September 2012[/editline] Another time was that, When i was in class with a friend (We Sit next to eachother) Everyone started talking because the teacher didn't give a shit, So i was talking to him about how i have erectile dysfunction ( I don't really, I was trying to start a conversation). And the teacher told us to shut up, Everyone went into complete silence but i had one more sentence to finish, I told him exactly this "Then my penis deflated". Nobody talks to me.
[QUOTE=marcosppp;37824786]Oh god what. [editline]27th September 2012[/editline] Another time was that, When i was in class with a friend (We Sit next to eachother) Everyone started talking because the teacher didn't give a shit, So i was talking to him about how i have erectile dysfunction ( I don't really, I was trying to start a conversation). And the teacher told us to shut up, Everyone went into complete silence but i had one more sentence to finish, I told him exactly this "Then my penis deflated". Nobody talks to me.[/QUOTE] I'm not sure you're in the right thread...
uh wrong thread?
I talked to a girl before class today but she really didn't seem to want to talk to me very much. Then not even a minute later when I was actually in class I sat beside a different girl but couldn't bring myself to talk to her at all. What the fuck?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37824908]I talked to a girl before class today but she really didn't seem to want to talk to me very much. Then not even a minute later when I was actually in class I sat beside a different girl but couldn't bring myself to talk to her at all. What the fuck?[/QUOTE] Well next time you should like talk to her
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37824908]I talked to a girl before class today but she really didn't seem to want to talk to me very much. Then not even a minute later when I was actually in class I sat beside a different girl but couldn't bring myself to talk to her at all. What the fuck?[/QUOTE] its called being bad at basic social interaction and you already know this about yourself and you already know you need to work on this nothings surprising there
[QUOTE=marcosppp;37824786]So i was talking to him about how i have erectile dysfunction ( I don't really, I was trying to start a conversation).[/QUOTE] of course
okay, first girlfriend (first experience with this in all tbh, first time i've even attempted at a girl) and we're getting along very nice, honestly the only problem i've encountered with her is that she talks way too fucking much, everyone has this exact opinion of her, she doesn't talk constantly, she's just full of these stories, and she doesn't know when to stop in a story or tell the difference between an interesting one and a boring one, some of them are interesting/funny, yes, but most of them are just...information, nothing real interesting or funny or anything, just facts about her, and im fine with listening to all of this, it's just i have a feeling it will get extremely old after we've dated for a while. i'm not sure if i should approach her about it, tell her how i feel, considering she not only gets offended when you tell her that she talks to much, i've told her i like that she talks a lot (it was in a different context, but still). we've only been dating 2 weeks so if i might just been anxious but, i feel i really like this girl, and thats one of the only problems i've had with her. (sorta related story, one time when we were skyping, she was cut off from the mic and couldn't talk and i did all the talking and that was one of the most fun times we had together, besides our first date)
[QUOTE=Eeshton;37825802]okay, first girlfriend (first experience with this in all tbh, first time i've even attempted at a girl) and we're getting along very nice, honestly the only problem i've encountered with her is that she talks way too fucking much, everyone has this exact opinion of her, she doesn't talk constantly, she's just full of these stories, and she doesn't know when to stop in a story or tell the difference between an interesting one and a boring one, some of them are interesting/funny, yes, but most of them are just...information, nothing real interesting or funny or anything, just facts about her, and im fine with listening to all of this, it's just i have a feeling it will get extremely old after we've dated for a while. i'm not sure if i should approach her about it, tell her how i feel, considering she not only gets offended when you tell her that she talks to much, i've told her i like that she talks a lot (it was in a different context, but still). we've only been dating 2 weeks so if i might just been anxious but, i feel i really like this girl, and thats one of the only problems i've had with her. (sorta related story, one time when we were skyping, she was cut off from the mic and couldn't talk and i did all the talking and that was one of the most fun times we had together, besides our first date)[/QUOTE] What is a relationship?
oh god i dont know what that means first time posting in this thread, please don't kill me guys
And now I've moved from being angry when I see couples to being sad. Everyone else just makes it look so easy but it's next to impossible for me to get any further than saying hi to a girl and asking what her name is. [editline]27th September 2012[/editline] I'm honestly about ready to ask people I know if they know any girls desperate enough to date me.
[QUOTE=Eeshton;37825862]oh god i dont know what that means first time posting in this thread, please don't kill me guys[/QUOTE] It means i have no girlfriend.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37825982][B]I'm honestly about ready to ask people I know if they know any girls desperate enough to date me.[/B][/QUOTE] Don't. It's as simple as that. [QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37825982][B]it's next to impossible for me to get any further than saying hi to a girl and asking what her name is.[/B][/quote] Try to work on making yourself more attractive, but more importantly, look for ways to insert yourself into the situation (no pun intended ofc). I call them wedges 'cos you kinda' wedge yourself in, at least that's the idea. Look for things relevant to the current situation; for instance if you're in a class together, ask for help or something. Honestly, this depends a lot on experience and it requires some trial-and-error to find the best way to do this. Best guidance I can give you is, focus on making it relevant, interesting (as in try to keep up her interest, I personally don't think really generic things help, although they can be good in some circumstances as long as you have other stuff to talk about), and above all, give her as good an opportunity as you can to give a decent response, ideally opening up a new line of conversation. I.e. try not to ask things that are likely to produce a short answer, or something that you can't really reply to, if you can avoid it. Part of the reason many generic questions, unless you can follow it up, are bad is because they often don't give such an opportunity; e.g. "how are you" -> "i'm good, you?" -> "pretty well"... You're back where you started. Now this is how I see it, which may or may not be correct... Best I can give I'm afraid.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37825982]And now I've moved from being angry when I see couples to being sad. Everyone else just makes it look so easy but it's next to impossible for me to get any further than saying hi to a girl and asking what her name is.[/QUOTE] OK what you're not getting is that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37825982]And now I've moved from being angry when I see couples to being sad. Everyone else just makes it look so easy but it's next to impossible for me to get any further than saying hi to a girl and asking what her name is.[/QUOTE] As long as you don't ask things that produce simple and meaningless answers you're fine. Refrain from questions which lead to answers beginning or only consisting of 'yes' and 'no'. You'll find that a lot of the 'other' questions, the ones which I think you should use, will exclusively require [I]some[/I] form of genuine input from the person you're talking to. Hell, this isn't even about talking to women it's about talking to [I]people[/I]. I walk into my university classes, sit down, and if there is a person nearby then, simply because I'm bored and I [I]know[/I] they are too (unless they're talking to someone else but seriously, come on, you're at a lecture how can it not be boring), I'll just first indicate that I want to talk to them and then ask a simple but at least somewhat interesting question which simply leads into you two sharing details between each other. One time I got to class and me and another woman sat beside one another so, because we happened to be looking at each other at the time, I just asked her 'Hey, how's your week been going?' and after a simple banter about how 'new' and 'interesting' the first few weeks of university are I asked her where she was from (she had a sexy accent) and then asked her what brought her here etc. Aside from that, I asked her [I]why[/I] she was in this class (people always want to tell you what makes them motivated and excited about something. If you asked me why I take my Intro to Philosophy course I would tell you how awesome it is to ponder these amazing questions which are still unanswered) and we went off from there. However, if you want to engage in a conversation you [I]have[/I] to listen to the other person. More importantly, you [I]can't[/I] just ask question-after-question like a job interview. Offer your own input, dive deep into what inspires people and invoke some sort of emotion such as happiness or whatever (honestly it's not as hard as you think). If you just started talking to someone, let's say another woman in your class before it's started, then let's examine a short line of conversation: A"Hey." B"Hi." A"How's your day been going?" B"Good - I guess - yours?" A"Pretty good, but this prof might put me to sleep after the classes I had this morning." (For the love of all that is good do [I]not[/I] get trapped in that stupid hole of small talk conversation and end the conversation with both of you having a 'good' day.) B*teehee whatever the hell happens here doesnt exactly matter* A"So how come you're taking this [business] course?" B"Oh well my dad had his own business and I thought it would be cool to learn how to start my own." Bam. That's all the information you need. You know that her dad started his own business (totally rad that he has that level of initiative and she tries to be like him) and she wants to start her own when she's older. A"That's pretty cool. Being your own boss sounds really relaxing - no one complaining that you wake up late. What kind of business does your dad own, though? Do you want to start running it for him or start your own?" etc. etc. You [I]have[/I] to pay attention. If you don't genuinely care for what the other person has to say and are just using them for 'practice' then they will be able to tell. Just be genuinely involved in what they have to say and be yourself. If you disagree with something say so. If you have something in common with someone mention that you think, for example, underwater basket weaving is totally awesome and you're thinking of majoring in it. I had the pleasure of meeting some fellow in my class just today and, I can't believe it, the guy knows how to speak Mandarin, Cantonese, English, French, Italian, and German! That's totally rad and he knows it, too. I honestly didn't ever think I'd be explaining basic conversational skills to people but I hope whatever I've typed up here helps because honestly I'm really tired after all my classes today and I've got nothing better to do than help a guy who seriously needs it. Cheers xoxo w/e im getting a drink
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37826258]Don't. It's as simple as that. [/QUOTE] What's the worst that can happen? A girl that's as mentally and emotionally fucked up and broken as I am.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37826562]A girl that's as mentally and emotionally fucked up and broken as I am.[/QUOTE] [B]stop[/B] you're being dramatic
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37826562]What's the worst that can happen? A girl that's as mentally and emotionally fucked up and broken as I am.[/QUOTE] if you think of yourself as fucked up and broken, you'll be fucked up and broken you gotta do better for yourself, man. you can't be all bad. that's like physically impossible.
[QUOTE=HellSoldier;37826553] words[/QUOTE] Most helpful post ever. [editline]27th September 2012[/editline] Now how do I make them not be thinking in their mind "just fuck off you fucking loser?"
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37826562]What's the worst that can happen? A girl that's as mentally and emotionally fucked up and broken as I am.[/QUOTE] youve got to be kidding me ugh get over yourself
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37826596]Now how do I make them not be thinking in their mind "just fuck off you fucking loser?"[/QUOTE] uh you're the only one thinking that
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37826596]Most helpful post ever. [editline]27th September 2012[/editline] Now how do I make them not be thinking in their mind "just fuck off you fucking loser?"[/QUOTE] gee i don't know, maybe act like a normal human being instead of deciding your life is miserable and hopeless? maybe instead of bitching about how much you hate yourself and how you're some depressing waste of space that nobody wants to go out with, you could actually [b]do something about the things you're unhappy with[/b]? [editline]27th September 2012[/editline] nobody's going to want to go out with an emotional mess who can't even stand on his own two feet. you have to be happy with yourself before someone else will be happy with you.
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;37826682]gee i don't know, maybe act like a normal human being instead of deciding your life is miserable and hopeless? maybe instead of bitching about how much you hate yourself and how you're some depressing waste of space that nobody wants to go out with, you could actually [b]do something about the things you're unhappy with[/b]? [editline]27th September 2012[/editline] nobody's going to want to go out with an emotional mess who can't even stand on his own two feet. you have to be happy with yourself before someone else will be happy with you.[/QUOTE] I'm unhappy because I see way too fucking many happy couples and I want it too badly for myself. And then nobody wants anything to do with me because I'm unhappy. It's a terrible cycle that can't be broken.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37825982]I'm honestly about ready to ask people I know if they know any girls desperate enough to date me.[/QUOTE] and this kind of behavior is absolutely fucking repulsive. you don't even care about who you go out with as long as you have some sort of physical intimacy with someone. do you have any idea how worthless that would make a girl feel, if the only reason you got with her was because she has two x chromosomes and not because you're attracted to her specifically?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37826596]Most helpful post ever. [editline]27th September 2012[/editline] Now how do I make them not be thinking in their mind "just fuck off you fucking loser?"[/QUOTE] If they don't say it they don't want you to. If they don't have a look of disgust on your face they don't want you to. If they aren't obviously preoccupied talking to someone else or doing something else they don't want you to. If you can't tell they don't want you to then they want you to talk to them. It may seem really obtuse at first but think about it for just a moment. How boring are people's lives? Most people don't do a whole lot and those who [I]are[/I] doing a whole lot would love to do something instead of doing something (e.g. talking to someone about their trip to the moon this past weekend). I'd always welcome someone to talk to me before class and afterwards (if I'm not in a hurry to get to my next one). The average person won't stare into your face and tell you to fuck off and, if they do, be grateful that they're that straight up with you and don't want to waste your time (they're [I]helping[/I] you to 1. lose your ego and not worry about whether or not someone actually wants to talk to you so that you can, in fact, [I]start[/I] talking to them and 2. learn to take a hint and swallow your pride for a moment to just go about and do something else "alright, thanks for your time" and off you go). It's average and perfectly normal to just go up to people and talk (hell, I'm about to experiment with a radical new way of getting dates) about each other's lives. If they don't ask you about your life then alright - that's fine - maybe they aren't as interested in talking but [I]what does it matter?[/I] They're still talking to you so just keep going with it. Unless, of course, they are demonstrating signs of not wanting to talk to you or enjoy and relish in the possibility that [B]they are even more awkward than you[/B]. Just be chill, be yourself, and [I]say whatever comes to mind.[/I] There may be basic things to consider when talking to someone like avoiding stupid questions but the first thing that pops into your mind [B]just do it[/B].Don't worry what they'll think of you (unless you're being absolutely fucking ridiculous like praising Hitler in Jewish History 101) and you'll look even better. If you don't care what they think of you then it doesn't really matter what they think of you - it's that simple. Live in the moment (considering you only have so many moments to live for).
just grow up. get over yourself. everyone has their own problems. no girl is ever going to want to commit to a relationship with someone who won't even try to deal with his problems himself.
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