The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=thisispain;37828359]i'm guessing most people think you don't want to talk to them. generally when someone acts cold and only comes to class a minute before it starts i get the impression they don't want to talk to anyone.
impressions, especially the first ones, matter.[/QUOTE]
This so much. Get your personality out there as fast as you can.
Yesterday was the first meeting of the space club at my university, which oddly enough is 75% female :v:. Anyways, by joking around during the meeting, posting something on the fb page as soon as I could & friending the club leader, speaking up etc. I just got recommended as an executive member for this year today.
In contrast, my first year of physics consisted of sitting near the back of the class and wondering why the popular kids at the front of the room wouldn't talk to me.
[QUOTE=Sunday_Roast;37833377]So I chatted with the girl today and I didn't even have to mention the bar night tomorrow before she started asking me if I have stage fright.
Then after leaving school I had the fortune of meeting her at the mall. She really wants to see me sing.
[B]Getting hugged was also nice[/B].[/QUOTE]
Getting a hug (esp. with a girl) is a very nice feeling, in a nice way.
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37834022]Getting a hug (esp. with a girl) is a very nice feeling, in a nice way.[/QUOTE]
lmao what a creepy way to describe it
That girl I have been talking about for months asked me over to her house so we hung out.
She wanted me to play truth or dare with her and I said sure, I asked truth and she asked if I liked her.
I stammered out "I- I- I- UH- UM- YE- YE- NO." and we left it at that, jokingly I asked the same thing after and she said she does not know if she likes me as a friend or more. Pretty much all my friends are telling me I made a massive fucking mistake.
I. HATE. MY. LIFE.
I feel all warm inside :)
[QUOTE=ThePinkPanzer;37834072]That girl I have been talking about for months asked me over to her house so we hung out.
She wanted me to play truth or dare with her and I said sure, I asked truth and she asked if I liked her.
I stammered out "I- I- I- UH- UM- YE- YE- NO." and we left it at that, jokingly I asked the same thing after and she said she does not know if she likes me as a friend or more. Pretty much all my friends are telling me I made a massive fucking mistake.
I. HATE. MY. LIFE.[/QUOTE]
Ugh, I hate when this happens. There's no right answer.
Say "no", you're either lying and she can tell or she takes it as truth and is surprised when you ask her out.
Say "yes", it's pretty likely to get really awkward really fast.
Just ask her out instead of mellowing over such a trivial thing. Attraction doesn't fade that fast, especially in that situation.
[QUOTE=Disseminate;37834377]Ugh, I hate when this happens. There's no right answer.
Say "no", you're either lying and she can tell or she takes it as truth and is surprised when you ask her out.
Say "yes", it's pretty likely to get really awkward really fast.[/QUOTE]
I probably would have tried to say yes or no (although why I would be playing Truth or Dare as an adult, I do not know), because at least then you give it some definitive-ness. Seems like it'd be better than barely stammering out an answer.
[QUOTE=ThePinkPanzer;37834072]That girl I have been talking about for months asked me over to her house so we hung out.
She wanted me to play truth or dare with her and I said sure, I asked truth and she asked if I liked her.
I stammered out "I- I- I- UH- UM- YE- YE- NO." and we left it at that, jokingly I asked the same thing after and she said she does not know if she likes me as a friend or more. Pretty much all my friends are telling me I made a massive fucking mistake.
I. HATE. MY. LIFE.[/QUOTE]
You haven't made a mistake. That's not a mistake.
Also, she's not stupid. She noticed your hesitation and assumed uncertainty. So when you asked her the same question, she "advanced" as much as you did. By showing "uncertainty". Now there's is something in the air. You can call it mistery.
Would you say "Yes I do right away, you would kinda spoil it, in my opinion. So I think you have a chance with this girl. You've ruined nothing.
Oh, and she obviously likes you or has romantic interest in you.
uh if a girl asks you that after inviting you to her house I can almost guarantee she's into you. What did you think she was going to say if you said yes? call you a faggot?
[editline]28th September 2012[/editline]
jesus it's like one of my japanese animes
Every time I saw a girl I wanted to talk to who wasn't already talking to someone else today, she had her face buried in her phone. And apparently I'm the one making myself anti-social and not them.
[editline]28th September 2012[/editline]
At least I'm not quite as grumpy as I usually am though.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37835041]Every time I saw a girl I wanted to talk to who wasn't already talking to someone else today, she had her face buried in her phone. And apparently I'm the one making myself anti-social and not them.
[editline]28th September 2012[/editline]
At least I'm not quite as grumpy as I usually am though.[/QUOTE]
yeah pin all the anger on the OTHER girls, thatll make you feel better and help you improve yourself!!
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37835074]yeah pin all the anger on the OTHER girls, thatll make you feel better and help you improve yourself!![/QUOTE]
Well I'm just saying it's kind of funny how I'm being blamed as the anti-social one when I'm not the person burying my face in my phone when I'm not around friends.
But you [I]are[/I] the anti-social one though, you've said that like in like 5 posts in the last 24 hours
i want to ask a girl out for some tea/coffee but she'll probably just knock it off as me joking
being funny is overrated
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37835095]Well I'm just saying it's kind of funny how I'm being blamed as the anti-social one when I'm not the person burying my face in my phone when I'm not around friends.[/QUOTE]
fyi they are burying their faces in their phones because you are not contributing anything and their phone is thusly more entertaining. conversation is a two way street, ya dingus
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;37835262]fyi they are burying their faces in their phones because you are not contributing anything and their phone is thusly more entertaining. conversation is a two way street, ya dingus[/QUOTE]
no no youre misunderstanding here, everyone ELSE is socially awkward, therefore taepodong-2 is the only one who's completely normal!
Yeah, but you have to admit. People rely a lot on their phones today, even if they aren't doing anything special. Some people just stare at the screen and it's kinda hard and unattractive to approach someone who's constantly staring at the phone.
Decided to break the big-city norm today and just started a random conversation with some random buddy checking out the PC games rack at a game store.
Feels good.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;37835733]Yeah, but you have to admit. People rely a lot on their phones today, even if they aren't doing anything special. Some people just stare at the screen and it's kinda hard and unattractive to approach someone who's constantly staring at the phone.[/QUOTE]
This is exactly what I'm trying to say.
for the most part if you really want to drum up a conversation with someone enthralled by a ~media device~ then give it a shot. It helps if you have something interesting to say though. In all likelihood they're bored anyways.
[editline]28th September 2012[/editline]
this one girl with a huge vagina ripped my headphones out and was like "hey yo we should like hang out sometime" and I was like "uh.. o-okay"
then we fooled around and it was kind of lame and I haven't talked to her in a couple years.
all this could be yours.
tbh when I see a girl glued to her phone I just assume she's texting a boyfriend or something.
well idle chitchat isn't going to cause him to jump out of the phone and confront you. Just try to make friends with them, girls usually hang out with other girls, you just need to network.
[QUOTE=Honesty;37835245]i want to ask a girl out for some tea/coffee but she'll probably just knock it off as me joking
being funny is overrated[/QUOTE]
Actually asking out for tea/coffee is a good idea
[editline]29th September 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37836097]tbh when I see a girl glued to her phone I just assume she's texting a boyfriend or something.[/QUOTE]
Nah, she's maybe bored and just trying to find something to do. I do something similar; it's better than just staring into space. Not looking busy can sometimes give a bad impression.
When I talk to people in person, they always think I am joking. Always, All the time. How do I fix this?
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37836693]
Nah, she's maybe bored and just trying to find something to do. I do something similar; it's better than just staring into space. Not looking busy can sometimes give a bad impression.[/QUOTE]
Must be why people stay away from my. I don't have a smartphone so I can't at least make it look like I'm doing something. And I'm not going to pull out my laptop while I'm waiting for class to start because I'll just go on facepunch or play world of tanks.
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;37834047]lmao what a creepy way to describe it[/QUOTE]
How was I supposed to put it
That's how a girl would put it
At least most of the girls I know would
[editline]29th September 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37836782]Must be why people stay away from my. I don't have a smartphone so I can't at least make it look like I'm doing something. And I'm not going to pull out my laptop while I'm waiting for class to start because I'll just go on facepunch or play world of tanks.[/QUOTE]
No, if people stay away from you any more than anyone else it's 'cos you have a bad reputation, in which case, you'll need to work on that. If you are in a situation you're comfortable with, you don't need a smartphone. I mean, I've spent ages before in relative silence with my friends; it's okay because we're comfortable with it. Of course if you're in the process of trying to make friends with someone, then you want to avoid those, because they can make people uncomfortable (or at the least, bored).
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37836810]How was I supposed to put it
That's how a girl would put it
At least most of the girls I know would[/QUOTE]
i can't even comprehend this...
"it's how a girl would say it, so it's how i'm going to say it and it's not creepy because it's how a girl would say it"
the problem; you're not a girl
and taepodong, do you have a notebook or anything? if you don't want to open your laptop and don't have a smart phone you could always doodle in a notebook if you feel like you need something to distract you a little, so you're not just sat looking around the room.
not that you *should* try to distract yourself, but if you're feeling uncomfortable because everyone else has something to do and you don't, i'd maybe try that. they're very cheap, and you can just doodle away, and i think it's less likely to make you seem unapproachable than (for instance) being on a phone.
[editline]29th September 2012[/editline]
i don't even know if that's what you were asking, but i thought i'd throw it out there
[editline]29th September 2012[/editline]
@jgxccub, and regardless of your gender it's a strange thing to say, it's not something that needs to be said. people know that hugs are nice, that's why we do them
[QUOTE=JgcxCub;37836810]
That's how a girl would put it
[/QUOTE]
let's just take a step back for a couple of minutes ok
How do I obtain one of these "girlfriends" when I'm legitimately antisocial? Like, talking to people generally bores me after a short time and I seriously don't feel like being around people for the most part. It's just energy I don't want to spend. Am I just legitimately doomed or what?
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