The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37873651]The whole reason I want to talk to girls who have no friends is because they would be the only ones desperate enough to even bother with me.[/QUOTE]
Ok, and how do you want us to respond to this post? "Awww that's not true bla bla"?
Man the fuck up and face your problems (and stop with the self pitying).
[QUOTE=Spirit_Breaker;37873686]Ok, and how do you want us to respond to this post? "Awww that's not true bla bla"?
Man the fuck up and face your problems (and stop with the self pitying).[/QUOTE]
I didn't need a response to it, I was stating my reasoning.
If you don't need response to it, then why are you even posting about it then?
[QUOTE=Rhenae;37873355]Autumn is a lady, one of the most well known ones on this site :v:[/QUOTE]
Oh, I'm sorry Autumn. I didn't want to imply you sounded manly in your posts. I just haven't been around as often as I'd like to know everyone a little better :v:
it's no offence, i'm not particularly girly!
just a little surprised you hadn't picked up on it in general :v:
[editline]1st October 2012[/editline]
and that you clearly don't read Sex, Girlfriends & Shit haha
Honestly sometimes I just scroll down and don't notice much. I only noticed because of the pill talk. :v:
Background:
I don't even remember how long we've been together. I can't say exactly. We started in seventh grade, and she moved a bit over a year ago, 600 miles away. We still talked, and she visited every few months. March of this year, she broke up with me. I was a mess. I asked for her back. She agreed, but said that she was ready to move on. Fast forward to now. She was coming to visit me in a few days. But around a week ago, I found I was attracted to another girl, who I barely spoke to and only have had one class with. It killed me every day to be thinking about her and made me inflate a small issue into a huge one.
Regardless I've just been moping around the past week. She noticed. I told her it was a personal problem that I had to deal with. But yesterday she could not take it anymore and started crying, asking me what was wrong. I told her that I felt attracted to someone else but had barely spoke to her and I felt guilty. She asked me if I still loved her, and I told her that I did as an amazing friend who changed me for the better. But as a girlfriend? I did not know. And she said it was over. And I said alright. And she said she was amused that I let her go so easy, when our previous breakup I had come back to her crying.
She told me that I made such a small issue a big deal and handled it very unprofessionally and badly. But it didn't feel like a small issue to me. I felt/feel torn apart.
I offered her me being there to talk to her and she said that that was the best offer/idea I had this week. Then she called me a bastard and said fuck you for good measure.
We talked a bit yesterday. I basically came crying back again, just like the last time. She asked if she should pretend I never said that I didn't know if I loved her on Friday. Because I did, and still do. I'm so mad at myself. I hate myself, because this would not have happened if I had just decided to be stronger and clear up my feelings.
For the first time, I decided to tell my parents, who were surprisingly sympathetic and understanding. None of our parents know about our relationship, and it was a big limitation in us seeing each other when we had an opportunity to. I told her that I did, and that seeing each other would be a lot easier. I told her that we were approaching independence fast and while I couldn't guarantee that our distances would be any better, we would no longer be restricted by our parents when we could meet up.
She said part of her sympathizes with me, She said, "poor you, you used bad judgement and doesn't deserve this whole fiasco"
but another part of her says "I don't deserve him and maybe I'll be happier without the burdens of a long distance thing. I can stay in my comfort zone or take a risk. Got everything or nothing to lose."
She thought that our relationship was stale whenever she moved back (she told me once that it was a cycle of falling in love with me every time she came to see me). I can tell her to be more engaging and active (and I will).
Lastly, she said "It's a tough call but I'm moving on. For the time being, anyway. What happens later, happens."
She has left me with a faint glimmer of hope. I will be riding off this small sliver of light for quite a while, because it means I still have a chance. I think we are super compatible. Just the distance. And we've made it so far already.
I'm going to respect her decision as of now and force myself not to talk to her. But I'm scared. I'm scared that she might move on and I might not. And I want to tell her, I don't know when, that I still want to be with her, to figure out if she still has feelings for me (which she surely does at the moment). After all, she doesn't know. She hasn't put a final conclusion on it.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37873651]The whole reason I want to talk to girls who have no friends is because they would be the only ones desperate enough to even bother with me.[/QUOTE]
yeh a relationship between a self-loathing fuck and another self-loathing fuck i can see that going really far
[editline]1st October 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=The Best;37873997]Background:
I don't even remember how long we've been together. I can't say exactly. We started in seventh grade[/QUOTE]
aren't you like 12 when you're in 7th grade? and how old are you now? these two questions are really important because there's no point in me reading the rest until that's clear. my response right now has gotta be "you're really young and too young for this shit" and/or "you were way too young when this started and it will be completely warping your view on the situation now"
So I was sat waiting for my friend in a meeting for a while today. Cutest girl I ever saw was sat there too but was on the phone for the entire time planning where to meet one of her friends for a good 20 minutes before moving off pretty quickly.
Nothing worse than being confident enough to talk to someone new but not be able to do anything about the situation. Stupid phones. Stupid technology.
12-13, yea. I'm 17 now.
Yes, I've heard the "you're too young". I'm not going to throw my life away for her. But I enjoy life more when I'm with her. A lot more.
[QUOTE=ChestyMcGee;37874795]yeh a relationship between a self-loathing fuck and another self-loathing fuck i can see that going really far
[/QUOTE]
At least it can actually happen, even if only for a few days.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37875035]At least it can actually happen, even if only for a few days.[/QUOTE]
what a waste of time and effort. it'd only hurt anyone involved more
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37875035]At least it can actually happen, even if only for a few days.[/QUOTE]
HOLY christ why are you still here you're obviously not getting anything from this thread and by the looks of it you never will, holy moly..
[QUOTE=Disseminate;37875089]HOLY christ why are you still here you're obviously not getting anything from this thread and by the looks of it you never will, holy moly..[/QUOTE]
It's better to at least let my frustration out to people who don't care than to just keep it up inside me.
[editline]1st October 2012[/editline]
And now I probably have to wait until next semester to even bother talking to anyone anyway because by now most people in my classes have probably seen that I come in, sit down and stare into space until the lecture starts.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37875035]At least it can actually happen, even if only for a few days.[/QUOTE]
What would you accomplish with that?
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37875131]And now I probably have to wait until next semester to even bother talking to anyone anyway because by now most people in my classes have probably seen that I come in, sit down and stare into space until the lecture starts.[/QUOTE]
um you can change first impressions you know they aren't a concrete thing. and if all you've done is stare into space then probably no one has noticed you so they dont even have a first impression SO GET OUT THERE AND TALK 2 PPL
So, Taepodong-2, your solution is to go to Facepunch, and write your sob stories to guys that are giving you advice which you're ignoring? And are we still supposed to feel sorry for you?
Get a haircut, some nice clothes, a hobby and a little bit of confidence then come back and post more about how you're not a complete social retard and if you're continuing to have a little trouble even after putting a little fucking effort in then maybe people will be happier to help?
[QUOTE=Whittall;37875208]So, Taepodong-2, your solution is to go to Facepunch, and write your sob stories to guys that are giving you advice which you're ignoring? And are we still supposed to feel sorry for you?
Get a haircut, some nice clothes, a hobby and a little bit of confidence then come back and post more about how you're not a complete social retard and if you're continuing to have a little trouble even after putting a little fucking effort in then maybe people will be happier to help?[/QUOTE]
I do get my hair cut regularly. It's not like I'm retarded enough to have long greasy hair. However, nice clothes and hobbies cost money I need for other things.
in all my classes i kinda feel isolated, i was kinda antisocial in the past and now i want to start conversations and whatnot but most conversations(i go straight past the small talk after the first 2 or 3 sentences) end pretty quickly as we run out of things to say.
i know like everyone in my class year as i wouldnt talk but i would listen to things they say(so i know what they do afterschool for the most part). freshmen year i did speech and i didn't do it the next year because i felt REALLY isolated, like my friends that were in it were talking to people and all i could do is listen in because i knew no one(and i shat my pants everytime i went up and did my speech). i did drumline the year after that and stuck with it for about 3 months before i left because i felt useless(i was in the bass section with 3 others, 2 had guitars and the other one did bass the year before and i had no musical knowledge whatsoever(not even music classes) so all my roles felt awkward, plus my parents were persuading me to quit on the side because they didn't understand the bass section and didn't want to pay for something they thought i wasn't contributing to).
now this year im going to try out track, i know only 1 person who does it in my class and since 7th grade he has a serious grudge against me(it was an accident and i told him that and he still thinks im full of shit so w/e) but i feel a lot more comfortable doing things by myself now than i did in the years prior.
although my parents(and my english teacher and some of my friends) are still trying to get me to do speech again, im still afraid to do speeches in front of people and will probably still shit in my pants
[editline]1st October 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37875556]I do get my hair cut regularly. It's not like I'm retarded enough to have long greasy hair. However, nice clothes and hobbies cost money I need for other things.[/QUOTE]
idk if its a low income thing or whatever, but most sports in my school are pretty cheap, like $50 for the jersey or something. Most expensive hobby in my school i think is drumline but that's not officially "in school"(and thats about $800)
and if you do something as simple as like iron your shirts(idk if thats a minnesota thing or not, but people don't iron their shirts usually) that's a good step
[QUOTE=Blueridge;37875620]
although my parents(and my english teacher and some of my friends) are still trying to get me to do speech again, im still afraid to do speeches in front of people and will probably still shit in my pants[/QUOTE]
I can't say much for the rest cause I'm pretty friendless at the moment myself,
but this here is why they want you to take it. You make shit yourself but over time it makes you more capable of speaking to others and such. I took theater arts for this reason. Just about died of a heart attack but after performing in front of a ton of people (one of my major fears for sure), I find it a lot easier to talk to people. Cause what is one person compared to half your school watching you completely destroy your whole play :v:
On that note:
Where is a good place to meet people you can be friends with? I'm not going away for college i'm going to a local one so I don't have to consider the fact I'd be moving next year. Not counting work (about 8 people work where I work, I'll make friends where I can but beyond that since this is a super temp job), or college since obviously I'm not there yet. I suppose I'll make some with the animation club i'm running but they will all be highschoolers :v:
Actually I think the root cause of all my problems might be me spending way too much time on the computer. I should like block Facepunch or something like that so I can force myself to go out and meet people.
[editline]1st October 2012[/editline]
And thankfully I can't play any games other than world of tanks on my craptop
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37873651]The whole reason I want to talk to girls who have no friends is because they would be the only ones desperate enough to even bother with me.[/QUOTE]
Jesus fucking Christ, you are unbelievable.
If you're really so insecure that you feel you can only date girls with no friends then you [i]really do[/i] need some proper help.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37875556]I do get my hair cut regularly. It's not like I'm retarded enough to have long greasy hair. However, nice clothes and hobbies cost money I need for other things.[/QUOTE]
Taepodong
what [I]do [/I]you want from this thread?
If you don't want anything then why are you still posting?
If you want something, have gotten advice for it and choose to ignore it then why are you still posting?
[QUOTE=HellSoldier;37876098]Taepodong
what [I]do [/I]you want from this thread?
If you don't want anything then why are you still posting?
If you want something, have gotten advice for it and choose to ignore it then why are you still posting?[/QUOTE]
I don't even know what I want from this thread anymore.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37876124]I don't even know what I want from this thread anymore.[/QUOTE]
Then WHY ARE YOU STILL POSTING
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37876124]I don't even know what I want from this thread anymore.[/QUOTE]
Then stop posting and leave.
We don't want to hear your shit.
You don't need anything from us.
As it stands everything past that is just shitting up the thread.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37876070]Actually I think the root cause of all my problems might be me spending way too much time on the computer. I should like block Facepunch or something like that so I can force myself to go out and meet people.
[editline]1st October 2012[/editline]
And thankfully I can't play any games other than world of tanks on my craptop[/QUOTE]
Trust me, that's not your problem
Okay look. We've given you the advice you need from this thread. You haven't listened. You [I]need[/I] counselling. I for one, and I'm sure quite a few other people agree with me, think you should take a break from threads like this.
Obviously posting here isn't doing you any good because it's giving you an opportunity to bring your doubts and fears about yourself out of your head and now you're just going to think they're more valid. Noone here can help you any more than you have. Stop hanging around here telling us how shit you are. We don't want to hear how shit you think you are if you aren't doing anything to help yourself - there's no point bringing all the problems in the world flooding out of you if you aren't going to make at least some effort to fix them.
You're probably sitting there going "everyone thinks i'm socially retarded and weird" - well heads up. You're not special for that, because loads of people here have that exact same problem. Hell, I was asking for the same advice as you were back when Love Advice was still a subforum. The difference between you and them is they didn't sit here constantly whining about it. They did something about it. Sorry if it seems harsh to say that you're just whinging about it but honestly, considering you've shown almost no proof of even trying to take on some pretty good advice, or any inclination to do so, then it's pretty obvious you're not here for advice anymore.
This thread isn't your journal.
Well tomorrow I don't have a class until 3:00. That gives me plenty of time to go see a counselor. After that I'll post about how that goes and that will probably be my last post in this thread and on Facepunch in general for a long time.
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;37875131]It's better to at least let my frustration out to people who don't care than to just keep it up inside me.
[/QUOTE]
this is exactly what a blog is for
!!!
I'm actually being 100% serious here. No bullshit. I know I need help.
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