• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Yahnich;37996995]i never play games with all my friends at once because if for example we play tf2 together they're so shit at it that we always lose and i like not losing all the time[/QUOTE] All the rl friends I play with happen to be good or excellent at playing games. Our mumble channel is one kind of a special place.
I always play games with my friends in which you can laugh you ass off while playing. Gta 4, Gmod... other than that I rather play alone
Serious question time. No bitching, no autism, no stalkerish crap. So last week when the girl walked to class with me, I thought it was because her class was on the way to mine. Really her class was in the completely opposite direction of where I had to go. Does that say anything about her possible level of interest?
no clearly she went out of her way to walk with you because she has no interest in you whatsoever
nah don't be fooled I've seen this before but she's conveying interest to really convey her lack of interest
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;38000711]Serious question time. No bitching, no autism, no stalkerish crap. So last week when the girl walked to class with me, I thought it was because her class was on the way to mine. Really her class was in the completely opposite direction of where I had to go. Does that say anything about her possible level of interest?[/QUOTE] stop over thinking little things like this and only really take notice of obvious signs that she may be interested, maybe she had something to do in your end of the school or whatever
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;38000711]Serious question time. No bitching, no autism, no stalkerish crap. So last week when the girl walked to class with me, I thought it was because her class was on the way to mine. Really her class was in the completely opposite direction of where I had to go. Does that say anything about her possible level of interest?[/QUOTE] Dude, don't cling too much to this girl, try socializing with other people as well. Otherwise if you fuck up you will be back to square one again.
I hear it's common for kids without mothers to find a feminine nuturing love in their teachers, but is it normal otherwise? One of my teachers this year just... like I always look forward to her class because she's just adorable in the way she interacts with you and is also intelligent. It's not like I find her attractive, because she's old enough to be my mom and she's married and has children and what not. I stayed after school to study with her and I just felt so comfortable when we digressed to other conversations. I guess the weird part is that this feeling has been stuck on me for almost the past 48 hours, thinking about her. I just want to be with her right now. I bet she gives good hugs too, and I want one from her. I really just wanted to get this off my chest, but I would greatly accept any feedback. [editline] 11:53[/editline] [QUOTE=W0w00t;38003716]uhm[/QUOTE] Sorry, I guess this was too cheesy.
uhm [editline]11th October 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Jagermeister;38003564]I hear it's common for kids without mothers to find a feminine nuturing love in their teachers, but is it normal otherwise? One of my teachers this year just... like I always look forward to her class because she's just adorable in the way she interacts with you and is also intelligent. It's not like I find her attractive, because she's old enough to be my mom and she's married and has children and what not. I stayed after school to study with her and I just felt so comfortable when we digressed to other conversations. I guess the weird part is that this feeling has been stuck on me for almost the past 48 hours, thinking about her. I just want to be with her right now. [B]I bet she gives good hugs too, and I want one from her. [/B]I really just wanted to get this off my chest, but I would greatly accept any feedback.[/QUOTE]
This isn't an extremely big deal to me, because it's not like I have no friends or any major social issues (anymore). When I was a freshman in HS I was still going through depression due to issues in my home life and during that period, I was very socially awkward, and it was like that from grade 5 through to halfway through grade 9, and I'm in grade 10 now. I thought this one girl was cute and literally could not keep my eyes off her, and one of my friends told me she thought it was creepy how I was always looking at her. After that, I couldn't keep eye contact with anyone I didn't know, mainly the girls at my school out of fear they would think the same. That, topped with my social awkwardness at the time, gave some of the people at my school a bad view on me. After awhile I realized things were only as bad as I make them and got over all the shit in my life, and became a lot more happy and sociable. The only problem is, I've noticed some of the people in my grade that I never really became friends with and had trouble socializing with in the past were avoiding eye contact with me and seemed uncomfortable just as I was before. I feel like I'm missing out on a large group of people that I could be friends with due to my depression in the past and it sucks! What's really made me think more about this is something small that happened recently; there's this girl I kind of like (no I don't need help hooking up with her). A month ago me and a large crew of people in my grade were watching the junior football team's first home game, and everybody headed off to the store to buy some drinks and food. The only people who were left were me, 2 of my friends, the girl, a couple of her friends and some girls a year younger than us who were helping her with her homework. All of those younger girls think I'm kind of cute and one of them brought it up right there (they were around 6 meters away on the other side of the bleachers). The girl I like said "yeah he's really cute but socially awkward". So it's not like how I look is really an issue, and yes this girl is one of those people I left a bad impression on. She tried to be friends with me last year because I'm friends with her best friend, but I kinda pushed her away without even noticing it, and I did the same to a lot of the other girls I guess. I don't have an issue talking to her or anybody anymore. So basically what I'm asking is; how can I give a better impression on some of the people I left a bad one on in the past? I don't have classes with a lot of those people, mainly just randoms and people I'm already friends with. I've already sort of "fixed" things with a few of the people who are in my classes this year, and made some new friends out of those I left a bad impression on. I've heard some other things from other people that may or may not have been directed at me, such as me being an "asshole" (I tease some of my already-made friends mainly after they tease me, so I doubt that was directed at me unless that put some people off) and some other things about being socially awkward. I'm not looking to be super popular anything, I honestly don't like being the center of attention, my reasons were said above; I just feel like I'm missing out on a lot of people who I could be good friends with, including a majority of girls at my school. Also, like I said, it's not a really big deal to me. I'm okay with how things are since I've got a lotta friends, but I feel things could be much more. I just need a few tips/advice from the pros, thanks yall
[QUOTE=Hiighwire;38003990]This isn't an extremely big deal to me, because it's not like I have no friends or any major social issues (anymore). When I was a freshman in HS I was still going through depression due to issues in my home life and during that period, I was very socially awkward, and it was like that from grade 5 through to halfway through grade 9, and I'm in grade 10 now. I thought this one girl was cute and literally could not keep my eyes off her, and one of my friends told me she thought it was creepy how I was always looking at her. After that, I couldn't keep eye contact with anyone I didn't know, mainly the girls at my school out of fear they would think the same. That, topped with my social awkwardness at the time, gave some of the people at my school a bad view on me. After awhile I realized things were only as bad as I make them and got over all the shit in my life, and became a lot more happy and sociable. The only problem is, I've noticed some of the people in my grade that I never really became friends with and had trouble socializing with in the past were avoiding eye contact with me and seemed uncomfortable just as I was before. I feel like I'm missing out on a large group of people that I could be friends with due to my depression in the past and it sucks! What's really made me think more about this is something small that happened recently; there's this girl I kind of like (no I don't need help hooking up with her). A month ago me and a large crew of people in my grade were watching the junior football team's first home game, and everybody headed off to the store to buy some drinks and food. The only people who were left were me, 2 of my friends, the girl, a couple of her friends and some girls a year younger than us who were helping her with her homework. All of those younger girls think I'm kind of cute and one of them brought it up right there (they were around 6 meters away on the other side of the bleachers). The girl I like said "yeah he's really cute but socially awkward". So it's not like how I look is really an issue, and yes this girl is one of those people I left a bad impression on. She tried to be friends with me last year because I'm friends with her best friend, but I kinda pushed her away without even noticing it, and I did the same to a lot of the other girls I guess. I don't have an issue talking to her or anybody anymore. So basically what I'm asking is; how can I give a better impression on some of the people I left a bad one on in the past? I don't have classes with a lot of those people, mainly just randoms and people I'm already friends with. I've already sort of "fixed" things with a few of the people who are in my classes this year, and made some new friends out of those I left a bad impression on. I've heard some other things from other people that may or may not have been directed at me, such as me being an "asshole" (I tease some of my already-made friends mainly after they tease me, so I doubt that was directed at me unless that put some people off) and some other things about being socially awkward. I'm not looking to be super popular anything, I honestly don't like being the center of attention, my reasons were said above; I just feel like I'm missing out on a lot of people who I could be good friends with, including a majority of girls at my school. Also, like I said, it's not a really big deal to me. I'm okay with how things are since I've got a lotta friends, but I feel things could be much more. I just need a few tips/advice from the pros, thanks yall[/QUOTE] just be sociable. when i started my junior year (think that was it) of high school i was a bit quiet for the first few weeks, but decided i wanted to get out and socialize and at the very least TRY to go meet people and make friends, and it paid off. just listen to people chat and try to insert yourself into conversations, be friendly and just try to enjoy talking to people and generally they'll end up enjoying it too. obviously don't force your way into a conversation you're not welcome in but if some people are discussing a musician or something you can kinda talk your way into, just be friendly and talk to people whenever you can. after doing that for maybe a week things were already a lot better because people started to get that i wasn't a quiet kid, so people will end up being a bit more welcoming. like when you overheard those girls saying you were cute but socially awkward you could have gone over and joked about it and started a convo that way (though idk how well you know them but hopefully you get my point). just be positive, be confident, and [I]enjoy socializing.[/I] people will enjoy your company and things will naturally unfold from there.
[QUOTE=Kopimi;38004493]like when you overheard those girls saying you were cute but socially awkward you could have gone over and joked about it and started a convo that way (though idk how well you know them but hopefully you get my point).[/QUOTE] I probably would've if they knew I heard what they were talking about. Anyways thanks for your reply. It seems like I was already on the right track, I just haven't really been putting much effort into talking to people so far.
I'm just having a hard time being an extrovert who's after an introvert. I've broken the barriers in terms of casual communication, but I just can't figure out the body language. Maybe I should stop looking at things like a psychologist.
dunno what you mean by not being able to figure out body language, but if she's introverted try spending time together one-on-one instead of with others (if you're not already doing that). ask her about herself or just lead the conversation if she isn't good at coming up with things to talk about
The prospects look dim, but I'm going to attempt to wrestle this girl back from her current position. As I said before, and for those who don't remember/didn't look back, she asked me out to a homecoming dance, said she liked it, stopped texting me, then said she couldn't go on any dates because she was way too busy. Now she's on texting terms, and I need to figure out if I can make this a relationship somehow. She likes me, but there's unknown reasons why she doesn't want to go out with me. It may be her extreme introversion, or possibly other factors such as over-restrictive parents or cock-blocky friends. I won't be able to see her for a while in person (October 24th at the earliest), but what should I do over text? Or is this impossible?
maybe she just likes you as a friend really just sounds like she changed her mind about you but didn't want to flat out reject you
[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;38005019]maybe she just likes you as a friend really just sounds like she changed her mind about you but didn't want to flat out reject you[/QUOTE] That actually sounds reasonable and likely. I don't know why I didn't think about that before. Alright, time to find someone else, then. Sadly, most of the people I would engage in romantic relations are closely tied to my ex girlfriend, who broke up with me and never told me why, as well as avoids me to this day. I'm afraid to have a relationship with these people since it could turn ugly and awkward really quickly since they would interact on a daily basis.
[QUOTE=Chezhead;38005075]That actually sounds reasonable and likely. I don't know why I didn't think about that before. Alright, time to find someone else, then. Sadly, most of the people I would engage in romantic relations are closely tied to my ex girlfriend, who broke up with me and never told me why, as well as avoids me to this day. I'm afraid to have a relationship with these people since it could turn ugly and awkward really quickly since they would interact on a daily basis.[/QUOTE] Yeah you can - it doesn't have to be awkward, it sounds like it's awkward for her, but not awkward for you if you don't want it to be! Just get out there and be social, if she's going to be awkward and embarrassed then that sucks for her, but it's okay if you want to still talk to people she's connected with. I'm just saying, don't discount everyone who has had contact with your exes, I've done it and I can say pretty plainly it's not worth the trouble, they're often nice people who won't hold a breakup against you, especially if you're the one who got dumped.
[QUOTE=killerteacup;38005426]I'm just saying, don't discount everyone who has had contact with your exes, I've done it and I can say pretty plainly it's not worth the trouble, they're often nice people who won't hold a breakup against you, [b]especially if you're the one who got dumped.[/b][/QUOTE] mostly this, usually whoever initiated a breakup is considered the antagonist. but yeah, as long as you're not catty about the breakup they should be pretty understanding
[QUOTE=Taepodong-2;38000711]Serious question time. No bitching, no autism, no stalkerish crap. So last week when the girl walked to class with me, I thought it was because her class was on the way to mine. Really her class was in the completely opposite direction of where I had to go. Does that say anything about her possible level of interest?[/QUOTE] If you want to know whether or not she's really interested in you, just ask her out.
Ahhh dammit. The girl from the dating site asked my number, I gave it, she texted her number to me in return. Then I replied with that "I can barely wait to get to use this number again :D" And she replies with "Hahhah! What would you like to ask? Anything you can think of." Just took me one hour to figure out to ask her what part of town does she live in. Can't say I don't feel too bright. But I have to say that I really enjoy the way things are going. That the intentions are clear. Feels good. [editline]12th October 2012[/editline] It went better then expected.
[QUOTE=Slowbro;38006726]If you want to know whether or not she's really interested in you, just ask her out.[/QUOTE] Can someone please let Taepodong-2 learn by doing his own mistakes?
Well I have an appointment with a counselor next friday. Maybe I'll be able to sort out at least some of my issues.
You don't need counseling for making mistakes that people with low experience with girls make. If I told you the spaghetti stories I've gotten myself into with girls, I'd probably make a list now. Me and probably most people here.
I've been on vacation with my family the past 2 weeks and lately my dads just become a total dickhead. I think he's just sick of spending time with us and wants to go home to his friends. The second i open my mouth about anything he goes apeshit yelling at me and threatening me with punishments and most of the time i haven't even done anything wrong. Example: Lastnight he got super drunk at the casino and ended up passing out on the bathroom floor locking himself inside. This morning mum and my sister are making fun of him and i say "Yeah man you were really smashed". All of a sudden he bursts out into a fit of rage screaming at me for being a "shit stirrer" and threatening to take my computer away. the other night mum was freaking out cause we were late to the circus show and i say "Mum chill out we're gonna make it on time just stop shouting everyones looking" Dad: "YOU SEE THIS! ALL ADRIAN DOES IS SHIT STIR HES A FUCKING IDIOT HE JUST WANTS TO RUIN EVERYONES NIGHT" Sister and Mum jump on the bandwagon having a go at me and i just keep saying "Chill out guys wtf" then they ignore me for the rest of the show Am i actually an asshole or is he just on his period? This is probably why no one from school talks to me anymore. I'm an asshole and i don't even know it.
[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;38012273]You don't need counseling for making mistakes that people with low experience with girls make. If I told you the spaghetti stories I've gotten myself into with girls, I'd probably make a list now. Me and probably most people here.[/QUOTE] It's not just for the "oh I cant talk to her what do?" issues. It's for the anger management problems and the feelings of loneliness that are making it almost impossible for me to concentrate in class.
[QUOTE=I ARE REPTAR;38012957]I've been on vacation with my family the past 2 weeks and lately my dads just become a total dickhead. I think he's just sick of spending time with us and wants to go home to his friends. The second i open my mouth about anything he goes apeshit yelling at me and threatening me with punishments and most of the time i haven't even done anything wrong. Example: Lastnight he got super drunk at the casino and ended up passing out on the bathroom floor locking himself inside. This morning mum and my sister are making fun of him and i say "Yeah man you were really smashed". All of a sudden he bursts out into a fit of rage screaming at me for being a "shit stirrer" and threatening to take my computer away. the other night mum was freaking out cause we were late to the circus show and i say "Mum chill out we're gonna make it on time just stop shouting everyones looking" Dad: "YOU SEE THIS! ALL ADRIAN DOES IS SHIT STIR HES A FUCKING IDIOT HE JUST WANTS TO RUIN EVERYONES NIGHT" Sister and Mum jump on the bandwagon having a go at me and i just keep saying "Chill out guys wtf" then they ignore me for the rest of the show Am i actually an asshole or is he just on his period? This is probably why no one from school talks to me anymore. I'm an asshole and i don't even know it.[/QUOTE] maybe he's an alcoholic
[QUOTE=thisispain;38012989]maybe he's an alcoholic[/QUOTE] He gets drunk off one beer and just ends up acting like a 2 year old. He was throwing his socks at my sister and saying "Now you have aids!" My family is ridiculously embarrassing.
[QUOTE=I ARE REPTAR;38013020]He gets drunk off one beer and just ends up acting like a 2 year old. [B]He was throwing his socks at my sister and saying "Now you have aids!"[/B] My family is ridiculously embarrassing.[/QUOTE] I'd love to get shitfaced with your dad cause that's pure comedy gold right there!
[QUOTE=I ARE REPTAR;38012957]I've been on vacation with my family the past 2 weeks and lately my dads just become a total dickhead. I think he's just sick of spending time with us and wants to go home to his friends. The second i open my mouth about anything he goes apeshit yelling at me and threatening me with punishments and most of the time i haven't even done anything wrong. Example: Lastnight he got super drunk at the casino and ended up passing out on the bathroom floor locking himself inside. This morning mum and my sister are making fun of him and i say "Yeah man you were really smashed". All of a sudden he bursts out into a fit of rage screaming at me for being a "shit stirrer" and threatening to take my computer away. the other night mum was freaking out cause we were late to the circus show and i say "Mum chill out we're gonna make it on time just stop shouting everyones looking" Dad: "YOU SEE THIS! ALL ADRIAN DOES IS SHIT STIR HES A FUCKING IDIOT HE JUST WANTS TO RUIN EVERYONES NIGHT" Sister and Mum jump on the bandwagon having a go at me and i just keep saying "Chill out guys wtf" then they ignore me for the rest of the show Am i actually an asshole or is he just on his period? This is probably why no one from school talks to me anymore. I'm an asshole and i don't even know it.[/QUOTE] Somebody needs to find their nearest AA.
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