• The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
    10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Seith;34865285]You are not grasping it. What you said now shows exactly you are not sorry, but following a basic routine of morals society has led you by ("Shows" is a keyword; as in; the world you are trying to [i]show[/i] yourself to as being a good person). It has no meaning, as the person you say it to knows you are not sorry, or don't even care. It's a way to have a clean conscious, not to show sympathy. Why would I feel bad for turning a person down? I wasn't attracted, why would I be sorry I can't be with him?[/QUOTE] I'm pretty sure it's you not grasping that it's not being used literally. The point of it has nothing to do with actually apologising or morals of any kind, it is an expression of sympathy. Not sure if the word tact is in your vocabulary but it provides it rather than a stiff, emotionless no. You really have a messed up sense of empathy, don't you? Why would your conscious be troubled from it at all, why is showing empathy a bad thing? Who exactly is it ok to feel empathy for?
[QUOTE=Seith;34865285] It's a way to have a clean conscious, not to show sympathy. Why would I feel bad for turning a person down? I wasn't attracted, why would I be sorry I can't be with him? [/QUOTE] Because it's a regrettable circumstance where he has asked you, you are not into it, and you don't feel bad for turning a person down, you feel bad for causing a person who you probably think is pretty cool some sadness. Just because it's a basic routine of 'morals society' doesn't make it wrong. If you are going to make such a blanket statement that anyone who says sorry in that situation is doing it because they want to feel better about themselves, then I'm sorry, but that's retarded, because noone is qualified to say what is and is not about it and secondly, not everyone is that self-absorbed. You've obviously had some issues with people who say sorry in the past or something but I can tell you now that if I were to ask someone out, and they didn't say sorry or express some form of sympathy, I would consider it impolite of them and it may affect my opinion of them in the long run.
Personally I'd much rather be rejected with a "No, sorry" than just a plain "no" Just saying "no" just doesn't sound that sincere.
"No thank you"?
MaverickIB alt posting? [url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1166334[/url] if so, he's really gotten worse
[QUOTE=Seith;34861385][In his specific situation] 1. Saying "sorry" is insulting. Sorry for what? Why are you sorry? this is an instinctive, under thought, statement. Before I even started with pick-up, it was insulting. I'll give you an example; "Hey, want to go out?" "No, I am sorry, I have a boyfriend". Even though people meant, for the most part, just to be sorry, they also mean inevitably, as if they were higher than you - as if you have no other women in your life, and you were counting on her to say yes. That's assuming you are (the woman) better than him without even knowing him. 2. It shows a lack of confidence. If a man, is someone of worth and confidence, he probably would have had a lot of these encounters before, so, saying "sorry" contradicts those qualities. In the end, that word just has no purpose in context to his situation. It's a misconception bred by years of people following simplistic brain patterns. [editline]25th February 2012[/editline] It's beyond politeness. This is not being polite.[/QUOTE] haha what the fuck
[QUOTE=Seith;34861385]It's a misconception bred by years of people following simplistic brain patterns.[/QUOTE] Where exactly doctor, did you get your phd in sociology?
Seith is a more twisted version of maverick. At least maverick's advice was decent....
no i could actually criticize maverick since i understood what the words meant
I'm sure you've all been to this site already, but I just found this thread to be a pretty good source of information for anyone who needs detailed answers to their questions about "So how do I ask out a girl who I've never really talked to?" By the way, not some PUA bullshit like a lot of the site detailing "kino" or "The Game." For all ya'll who over think a situation. [url]http://simplepickup.com/forum/showthread.php?1295-Easy-Direct-Game-Guide-Keep-It-Stupid-Simple[/url]
[QUOTE=Evilan;34876734]I'm sure you've all been to this site already, but I just found this thread to be a pretty good source of information for anyone who needs detailed answers to their questions about "So how do I ask out a girl who I've never really talked to?" By the way, not some PUA bullshit like a lot of the site detailing "kino" or "The Game." For all ya'll who over think a situation. [url]http://simplepickup.com/forum/showthread.php?1295-Easy-Direct-Game-Guide-Keep-It-Stupid-Simple[/url][/QUOTE] Why is that bullshit? What is your reasoning? [editline]26th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=thisispain;34874748]no i could actually criticize maverick since i understood what the words meant[/QUOTE] Evidently you are not trying hard enough. [editline]26th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Glitch360;34874736]Seith is a more twisted version of maverick. At least maverick's advice was decent....[/QUOTE] We are not the same guy. So comparing how useful our advises are is idiotic. [editline]26th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=RopaDope;34874441]Where exactly doctor, did you get your phd in sociology?[/QUOTE] Doctor Who's academy. [editline]26th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=ScoutKing;34872641]MaverickIB alt posting? [url]http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1166334[/url] if so, he's really gotten worse[/QUOTE] lol... [editline]26th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=darcy010;34871818]Personally I'd much rather be rejected with a "No, sorry" than just a plain "no" Just saying "no" just doesn't sound that sincere.[/QUOTE] Doesn't sound sincere? [editline]26th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=killerteacup;34871076]Because it's a regrettable circumstance where he has asked you, you are not into it, and you don't feel bad for turning a person down, you feel bad for causing a person who you probably think is pretty cool some sadness. Just because it's a basic routine of 'morals society' doesn't make it wrong. If you are going to make such a blanket statement that anyone who says sorry in that situation is doing it because they want to feel better about themselves, then I'm sorry, but that's retarded, because noone is qualified to say what is and is not about it and secondly, not everyone is that self-absorbed. You've obviously had some issues with people who say sorry in the past or something but I can tell you now that if I were to ask someone out, and they didn't say sorry or express some form of sympathy, I would consider it impolite of them and it may affect my opinion of them in the long run.[/QUOTE] Regrettable by what standards? Aren't morals a subjective thing? To say one should feel bad for causing someone, [i]probably[/i] (keyword), is to assume and take position of a [i]qualified[/i] individual, which is, as you've said, someone who is self-absorbed. You can't decide whether a person is sad or not, so not showing either empathy or condescension by not showing emotions at all, seems to me the most reasonable solution when taking in account these factors. You are doing the same, by saying I should feel sorry. You say [i] blanket statement that anyone who says sorry in that situation is doing it because they want to feel better about themselves, then I'm sorry, but that's retarded, because noone is qualified to say what is and is not about it [/i] if no one is qualified, why are you qualified to say what is and is not about it.....? You are not really trying to grasp what I am saying, but to prove what I AM SAYING IS WRONG. This will lead nowhere, as I didn't, in the first place, try to convince anyone to believe my words. I feel people don't say they are really sorry because all of the above. This is absurd; You say I should feel empathy, and if I don't, then I've had some issues with people in the past. This just shows it's a general concept of morals, that should be applied, rather than be applied because people are REALLY FEELING SORRY. Meaning, this is not a natural thing. So to say I should abide by that rule (sorry- I really feel that way) naturally is absurd. Let's be honest, you've said it so yourself; [b]" I would consider it impolite of them and it may affect my opinion of them in the long run."[/b] - it may affect your opinion, but it has no relations to showing sympathy. It's just your perception of what is good or bad. This is not genetically inherited, so your opinion is invalid and irrelevant and shows perfectly it's a matter of choice and lifestyle, and not nessecarily because I am not emphatic and self-absorbed.
Most higher functioning people don't look at it that way though, and that is because most higher functioning people don't microanalyze every word someone says to them.
[QUOTE=Devodiere;34869196]I'm pretty sure it's you not grasping that it's not being used literally. The point of it has nothing to do with actually apologising or morals of any kind, it is an expression of sympathy. Not sure if the word tact is in your vocabulary but it provides it rather than a stiff, emotionless no. You really have a messed up sense of empathy, don't you? Why would your conscious be troubled from it at all, why is showing empathy a bad thing? Who exactly is it ok to feel empathy for?[/QUOTE] What. On the one hand, it's just a way to show your sympathy towards that person and on the other hand, I have a messed up sense of empathy. If it's just an expression you say to show it, then this is nothing but a robotic response so you could feel o.k with yourself because you did what you had to do (show it, and get rid of him) How could I have a messed up sense of empathy, when you've just shown that it's just a way of showing, and not nessecarily a way of feeling it? My conscious won't be troubled, but apparently, yours will be. You have "naturally" the urge to say sorry, not me. Showing empathy it's not bad either, but in that situation it is useless and counterproductive.
most of human consciousness isn't genetically inherited, so it's all just our perceptions of what's good or bad. that doesn't make it any less valid though
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;34878650]Most higher functioning people don't look at it that way though, and that is because most higher functioning people don't microanalyze every word someone says to them.[/QUOTE] It may be micro-analyzing, but it has a purpose. Which is to show people are following patterns which don't nessecarily mean anything. It's just following it, which comes to my second point - it's to have a clean conscious, and as we have proved it's just an expression and not actually feeling that emotion for the most part. [editline]26th February 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34878694]most of human consciousness isn't genetically inherited, so it's all just our perceptions of what's good or bad. that doesn't make it any less valid though[/QUOTE] Correct, it does not. But to say I must feel that way, when you obviously know it's a perception, is idiotic. That was my point. I am not self-absorbed, nor can I not feel sympathy. I am just saying, that in that situation, saying sorry is obsolete.
Microanalysis is only helpful in business and law, two things which have been known to drive wedges between otherwise healthy relationships.
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;34878777]Microanalysis is only helpful in business and law, two things which have been known to drive wedges between otherwise healthy relationships.[/QUOTE] If it causes distress and unnecessary anxiety, then yes, over analyzing will drive "wedges" between otherwise healthy relationships. I know what you mean, but one could benefit from it if he knew how to utilize that power correctly, even beyond the strict walls of law and business....
seith you need social advice
[QUOTE=Mon;34881950]seith you need social advice[/QUOTE] What would you suggest?
Stop being an over analytic douche. Be more considerate of other people and their views, reign your ego in a bit and realise that your words are not laws of physics.
[QUOTE=Seith;34882220]What would you suggest?[/QUOTE] You come off arrogant as hell. I had the same issue years ago. You will disagree with something because you believe your opinion is the only correct one. You don't concede a point until either the person agrees with you or they storm off angry because you insulted their intelligence of a subject because you believe you knew more about it. You could be the nicest, friendliest and largest social butterfly in the world, but if you keep on arguing every little thing with everybody then you are nothing, but an antisocial human being. You need to learn how to keep your mouth shut on things you disagree with. Like, even if someone says something that is totally like "What the fuck, how can you believe that" on an issue like politics, let them have their belief. Just say something light hearted like, "I can see why you believe that." Also, I agree with Mort & Charon. Stop over analyzing everything. Just because one part of a statement is incorrect to you, does not invalidate the entire thing. You are continually picking things apart until all that's left is [Insert Seith's Opinion Here]. What you may believe is not always completely true and what others say is not always completely wrong. In fact, you are just as wrong as others are on most topics of conversation. However, you being an arrogant person is not one of those topics the posters of this thread are incorrect about.
This thread has literally gone to shit in record time. Good thing March is close for the new thread
[QUOTE=Ladowerf;34884079]This thread has literally gone to shit in record time. Good thing March is close for the new thread[/QUOTE] We're getting somewhere now with Seith. Hopefully he will take a step back and look at himself from our perspective. It's not like we thrive on arguing, it's just hard not to when someone keeps posting stuff that either shoots all of our opinions down and begins a debate about how his methods are the best.
So on friday I decided to stop being a pussy and actually try something with the girl I've liked for the past 3 months or so. It was friday and we were both the the club part of our university bar, we spent about the entire night talking with each other in the sofa area. I've known her for a while and we often talk with each other, so its not like we're strangers to one another. Towards the end of the night (and as a result of being very very drunk) I make a move, she tells me she's seeing someone at the moment, she mentioned that for certain reasons she can't say she can't mention this to anyone including her close friends so there was no way I could have known about it. Spoken to her since and I didn't make a huge deal out of it or anything, I said sorry and backed off, luckily it hasn't made things awkward between us and I told her I only did it becuase I was drunk. But I'm still kind of confused about the whole situation. Not sure if this the correct place to put this but I really feel like I need to vent this out somewhere. And I'd like to see what other people make of this.
I struck up a conversation with this guy at the Sony store today. He wasn't cute and I wasn't really interested in him but I haven't really been all too social the past few weeks so I figured I'd see if I was still capable of conversation that wasn't strained. I did p good. Four for me, go me.
Last night I called a girl that liked me ugly, apologized, and then invited myself over and she gave me a "hell yeah" when I mentioned drinks and she doesn't even drink. Im a motherfucking pro, and im not even that good looking.
[QUOTE=RopaDope;34885989]Last night I called a girl that liked me ugly, apologized, and then invited myself over and she gave me a "hell yeah" when I mentioned drinks and she doesn't even drink. Im a motherfucking pro, and im not even that good looking.[/QUOTE] I'm lost... what?
[QUOTE=Evilan;34886707]I'm lost... what?[/QUOTE] I would at first think that he's capitalizing on infatuation to get with some girl and bum some drinks in the process, but earlier he was talking about cheating on his girlfriend or something and then said ridiculous stuff that sounded completely fictitious. So I don't know anymore. I do know that when RopaDope said that he's "not even that good looking" I agreed. Then again, I just imagine his as having his avatar as his face, so that's not based on anything other than that preconception.
[QUOTE=MindMuncher;34889159]I would at first think that he's capitalizing on infatuation to get with some girl and bum some drinks in the process, but earlier he was talking about cheating on his girlfriend or something and then said ridiculous stuff that sounded completely fictitious. So I don't know anymore. I do know that when RopaDope said that he's "not even that good looking" I agreed. Then again, I just imagine his as having his avatar as his face, so that's not based on anything other than that preconception.[/QUOTE] [B]P R E C O N C E C E P T I O N[/B]
[QUOTE=GoldenGnome;34889262][B]P R E C O N C E C E P T I O N[/B][/QUOTE] I laughed harder at this than I should have, thank you
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