The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
Someone posted this on another forum I visit. Views?
[QUOTE]I've got what I call a 3:1 rule. I never, ever call/text to initiate something unless the girl has done so the previous 3 times. If she's done it the prior 3 times, then I can call/text once and then start the rule over. And if I call/text a girl and there is no reply? I NEVER, EVER EVER call or text again/twice in a row. Girls LOVE the chase and naturally want what they can't have. Repeatedly calling/texting lets them know they have you and they become disinterested. Women will always want the chase so I follow these rules to this day with my girlfriend of 5 years. Really it's still the 3:1 rule and I never, ever call or text consecutively.[/QUOTE]
whilst i don't think it would be wise to apply this to every single female on the planet... it doesn't seem like an awful suggestion. for the most part i agree with it, girls do love the chase, and if the guy is being the persistent one then a bit of the thrill is lost and can make them come off as a bit too keen and clingy, which is not a good thing.
however, i personally find myself following a similar rule - not quite as strict as a ratio or anything, but if i haven't had a reply for a few hours i wait it out, maybe for a day or so, instead of constantly trying to get them to reply to me, as i don't want to seem needy/desperate/clingy. but then i quite often find my mindset being more similar to a male than female, so i'm not quite sure what to make of that...
[QUOTE=Autumn;34924873]whilst i don't think it would be wise to apply this to every single female on the planet... it doesn't seem like an awful suggestion. for the most part i agree with it, girls do love the chase, and if the guy is being the persistent one then a bit of the thrill is lost and can make them come off as a bit too keen and clingy, which is not a good thing.
however, i personally find myself following a similar rule - not quite as strict as a ratio or anything, but if i haven't had a reply for a few hours i wait it out, maybe for a day or so, instead of constantly trying to get them to reply to me, as i don't want to seem needy/desperate/clingy. but then i quite often find my mindset being more similar to a male than female, so i'm not quite sure what to make of that...[/QUOTE]
Although I agree, still, to have such a static rule to a dynamic system is absurd. Even more so, when both sides use it knowingly. It takes away from it's purpose, and produces an unnecessary cat and mouse. There's a better way.
[editline]29th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=Tennisball;34924763]Someone posted this on another forum I visit. Views?[/QUOTE]
As I have said, static rules are not useful within a dynamic system such as relationships.
Here is why;
[i]"I never, ever call/text to initiate something unless the girl has done so the previous 3 times"[/i] is bizarre. If you want something, you go for it. To expect her to call you, especially in a world where men are expected to act a certain way, is just his way of preventing failure. He doesn't want to show interest, unless, he's sure she's 150% interested in him, then in his eyes, it's a win-win situation. That's just his way of dealing with his inability to know what to do and how to act around women. To me, it sounds the same as going to a row of a 100 different women, ask each one "Let's hookup?" and hoping one would agree.
What I would do? I call the girls I interact with a day after, and immediately setup a date with her for whenever it is comfortable for me.
About the 2 part, I agree for the most part. It's irrelevant to what extent.
[editline]29th February 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=evilweazel;34917630]I suppose that's it for the most part. I still don't get why it happens, it's not like I find little meaningless flaws in people and just let those block me off, it just doesn't happen, like I said. I know it's probably just the way I am but it's still frustrating as all hell.[/QUOTE]
There's no "the way I am" unless it's a song. As I have said my friend, it might be a defense mechanism, your way around women... It's up to you to understand this. When you do, we'll all still be here.
Just seems like one of the arbitrary rules that girls make, no kissing til the 3rd date and that kind of bullshit. They're stupid when girls do them and they're stupid when guys do them.
2nd part, nah. Some girls like to chase, others like to be chased, you're only going to weed out the ones that don't have stalker-like determination. It just passes the fear of being clingy onto the girl, not the best thing either.
[QUOTE=Jacko245;34924563]Well shit. I've been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, and I feel pretty fucking low. I know it could be worse, but damn, that sucks...
Anyone got any advice to deal with it? Not getting bogged down by the situation (etc)[/QUOTE]
I am a type 1 diabetic, I got diagnosed on my 17th birthday in the emergency room. If you have any questions at all or need some kind of support, just ask.
All I can say currently is I know that checking your blood sugar and taking your insulin is a huge pain in the ass, but if you don't do it you WILL waste away. At first I didn't do it and it almost killed me.
So get into the habit of checking it and taking care of yourself because if you do basically all the horrible side effects of diabetes you hear about become nonexistent.Just remember that a diabetic can do anything a normal person can do, and live a perfectly normal life.
I never thought I'd respect someone with a title like yours.
you respect him for having diabetes?
As in how he deals with it, gosh.
because he actually gets on with his life, knowing that if it's not taken care of it can become a very serious illness, but by taking the steps necessary to prevent such things from happening, and so lives a normal life?
not that i'm trying to knock him at all, it just seems a very strange thing to respect someone for.
I meant how he doesn't let the disorder be a burden to him and he's willing to help another who's about to go in his shoes, so to speak. Now I don't even know anymore.
[QUOTE=Novangel;34925925]I never thought I'd respect someone with a title like yours.[/QUOTE]
To be fair it was given to me by a mod, so I didn't go buy a title and say "hahah yea I am such a ladies mayne!"
Also to be honest, I don't want any kind of emotions resulting from my disease whether it be pity or respect. It makes me feel less like a human and more like a condition, I don't want any different kind of treatment from another person and I wouldn't feel it is fair. It is the same kind of thing how people will will be extremely polite to a person in a wheelchair, simply because they are in a wheelchair regardless of their actions.
Diabetes is pretty common too.
Not saying it isn't a big deal, but it isn't immediately life-threatening or anything like that. It's a disease many people stay on top of without disturbing their daily routines very much. If anything, it might lead to an improvement in your life, since your diet and lifestyle will probably become much healthier (unless you're a person who doesn't care).
Man, I'm having a weird problem. Seems like any female I get involved with -only- wants sex. Now, you say this might be pretty cool. Since I'm 25 and have never really had a serious girlfriend, this is a little upsetting. I don't know if it's just the age group I'm in, or I lack some sort of personality trait that makes me only really good for a one night stand. My physical confidence has never been higher, but I feel pretty empty. Gah
[QUOTE=Glitchman;34929939]Man, I'm having a weird problem. Seems like any female I get involved with -only- wants sex. Now, you say this might be pretty cool. Since I'm 25 and have never really had a serious girlfriend, this is a little upsetting. I don't know if it's just the age group I'm in, or I lack some sort of personality trait that makes me only really good for a one night stand. My physical confidence has never been higher, but I feel pretty empty. Gah[/QUOTE]
Is this a one time occasion, or with a few females? (3 and above)
If so, are they 3 unrelated to each other, females?
If so, where did you meet?
Details.
[QUOTE=Glitchman;34929939]Man, I'm having a weird problem. Seems like any female I get involved with -only- wants sex. Now, you say this might be pretty cool. Since I'm 25 and have never really had a serious girlfriend, this is a little upsetting. I don't know if it's just the age group I'm in, or I lack some sort of personality trait that makes me only really good for a one night stand. My physical confidence has never been higher, but I feel pretty empty. Gah[/QUOTE]
Well, how do you get to know them? Getting drunk in a bar, going home and having sex, doesn't really sound like a good way to make up a long-lasting relationship.
[QUOTE=Glitchman;34929939]Man, I'm having a weird problem. Seems like any female I get involved with -only- wants sex. Now, you say this might be pretty cool. Since I'm 25 and have never really had a serious girlfriend, this is a little upsetting. I don't know if it's just the age group I'm in, or I lack some sort of personality trait that makes me only really good for a one night stand. My physical confidence has never been higher, but I feel pretty empty. Gah[/QUOTE]
I'm 20 and I know how you feel. I had a close serious relationship with my best friend this summer but it turned out I was being used 'till her ex got back in the picture.
Well, I haven't got any trouble in finding a girl but now since this last relationship ended so badly I kinda lost that interest in finding girls to have occasional hook ups.
Looking back, I think the problem with that is that me and maybe you use the same method to get girls and most of the time that method is only interpreted as a hook up or lets you go only so far with a girl, that's why I recently excluded that "have a night out and sex" date cause I'm kinda fed up at that.
And I mean, society puts kind of a pressure in rushing things up like the other person's going to get away forever and that rush to take things to a next level spoils most of the magic behind a serious relationship that forms naturally.
I think thr reason why most people avoid developing a strong relationship with the girl they are into is caused by a general insecurity in people that makes them think that by being friends you're going to be forever in the friend zone and she'll never give you any credit as a lover. Thatonly happens if you let it happen. I've been friends with my ex for 6 years. And I mean best friends.
That guy that was there no matter what. And she was there for me too. After 6 years we had a relationship. And a pretty serious one I might add. It only proves that there are no universal truths in relationships and terms like "friend-zone" are bullshit and are only made for people to not feeling bad about themselves if they fail.
I'm only speaking for myself but I think our situations are not so different. I suggest that next time you're able to start a friendship with a girl you're interested in, you take that friendship really seriously. And I don't mean being there like a loyal dog 24/7. I mean, be that special friend, that interesting friend and believe me she will think about you as more than just a hook up if things get serious.
A good friendship is the key. Intense episodes create strong connections between people.
And hey, it's hard to find someone decent that is willing to stay. Just don't quit and don't think too much about it. Move on and things will happen. We meet new people all the time.
Good luck!
I usually tell my dog romantic things and embrace her. Then she bites me and steals food from me.
What a bitch.
[QUOTE=Novangel;34934731]What a bitch.[/QUOTE]
But I still love her, because she's the only one I have in my life.
[QUOTE=Craftsman;34934762]But I still love her, because she's the only one I have in my life.[/QUOTE]
you should ask her out ;)
[QUOTE=Jmir 54;34938790]you should ask her out ;)[/QUOTE]
She already lives with him.
So I recorded this for a girl at work. I don't get why she's pissed at me though..
[media]http://soundcloud.com/michael-glass/kelseys-song[/media]
[editline]1st March 2012[/editline]
It's a tad rough, but c'mon
You guys are right, I'm going to tell her how I feel and ask her out on a date.
[QUOTE=Juice_Layer;34942279]So I recorded this for a girl at work. I don't get why she's pissed at me though..
[media]http://soundcloud.com/michael-glass/kelseys-song[/media]
[editline]1st March 2012[/editline]
It's a tad rough, but c'mon[/QUOTE]
I love 2:55 and onward
It really touched my soul
Am I glad I had this tab open on my tablet.
I WAS FINALLY successful with making a group of friends at college
Funnily enough, about our tastes in alcohol and funny YouTube videos :v:
I didn't ask out the girl, I don't regret it though.
[QUOTE=Zarjk;34946610]I didn't ask out the girl, I don't regret it though.[/QUOTE]
HOw so?
I don't have a girlfriend because I am short ugly and weird. :downs:
[QUOTE=Wavenarra;34947113]I don't have a girlfriend because I am short ugly and weird. :downs:[/QUOTE]
Your life is shit.
[QUOTE=Seith;34947286]Your life is shit.[/QUOTE]
Yep I am essentially fucked when it comes to girls, forever.
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