The Super Friendly Social and Love Advice Thread v3 - February
10,002 replies, posted
[QUOTE=DudesonFan;34959496]Alright, there's this girl i like and i'm pretty positive she likes me back.
Not long ago we talked about random shit for a long while(well, it wasn't just the two of us, i had some friends with me in the table, but she talked a little more to me than my friends)
And back in the summer, she asked if she could take my monkey bike for a spin. Of course, i let her do that. Obviously she had fun since she almost emptied a full tank of gas.. Still more than worth it though.
Now, what the fuck do i do next? I really want to make a move, but there's the catch that you guys probably already saw coming from a mile away.
I'm too much of a fucking pussy to make that move.
It's because a couple of years back, a girl shamelessly led me on just to deliver a flash KO with a "Sorry, but you're not really my type".
If i take another hit like that, my self-esteem will be completely fucking devastated. Not many girls have showed me this kind of attention.[/QUOTE]
I honestly don't think she's interested in you in the romantic sense of the term. You can give it a shot and ask her out, but I wouldn't take it as a shock if she said no, unless you went with her as a friend. No offense, but these kinds of interactions don't shout out "I WANT YOU."
[QUOTE=Evilan;34959948]I honestly don't think she's interested in you in the romantic sense of the term. You can give it a shot and ask her out, but I wouldn't take it as a shock if she said no, unless you went with her as a friend. No offense, but these kinds of interactions don't shout out "I WANT YOU."[/QUOTE]
Oh, i forgot to say that the first time she showed any kind of interest was at this local youth house, i was watching my friends play pool and suddenly she sat right next to me on the couch even though there was other free couches all around. Later she leaned pretty damn close to me for some reason but didn't say anything.
And she's been the one to start the talking every single time we've talked. That's gotta mean something, right..?
I guess i'm just gonna have to grow a pair and try to do something about this the next time i see her. It's just that if i get shot down, things will get so awkward between us..
[QUOTE=DudesonFan;34960035]Oh, i forgot to say that the first time she showed any kind of interest was at this local youth house, i was watching my friends play pool and suddenly she sat right next to me on the couch even though there was other free couches all around. Later she leaned pretty damn close to me for some reason but didn't say anything.
And she's been the one to start the talking every single time we've talked. That's gotta mean something, right..?
I guess i'm just gonna have to grow a pair and try to do something about this the next time i see her. It's just that if i get shot down, things will get so awkward between us..[/QUOTE]
[i]It's just if.... I get shot down....[/i]
[i]Things will get so awkward....[/i]
Your brain, because it has no experience in this situation, would naturally assume the worst as it should, since assuming the worst is what kept us alive thousand of years ago.
I want you to imagine yourself riding a bicycle. You tell your father you want a pair, and he buys you a brand new pair of bicycles. You then realize, you are afraid of riding them, because you obviously don't know how. Your father tells you, [i]Unless you try, you won't ever learn[/i] and you go ahead and try. You fell. Once, twice, 500 times. Eventually you got it, and you were happy and fulfilled you conquered your own fears and inhibitions. Imagine now, you forgot how to ride a bicycle....
[QUOTE=Seith;34955771]That's why I use quotes.
[editline]2nd March 2012[/editline]
What's so weird about talking to women, which you are obviously attracted to? Abide by no rules, but your own.
Also, I really liked the song![/QUOTE]
Haha thanks, I thought it was pretty funny. Gotta love Flight of the Conchords! And you're right, come Monday's lecture I am going to speak with this fine lady. I got dis.
[editline]2nd March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=DudesonFan;34959496]Alright, there's this girl i like and i'm pretty positive she likes me back.
Not long ago we talked about random shit for a long while(well, it wasn't just the two of us, i had some friends with me in the table, but she talked a little more to me than my friends)
And back in the summer, she asked if she could take my monkey bike for a spin. Of course, i let her do that. Obviously she had fun since she almost emptied a full tank of gas.. Still more than worth it though.
Now, what the fuck do i do next? I really want to make a move, but there's the catch that you guys probably already saw coming from a mile away.
I'm too much of a fucking pussy to make that move.
It's because a couple of years back, a girl shamelessly led me on just to deliver a flash KO with a "Sorry, but you're not really my type".
If i take another hit like that, my self-esteem will be completely fucking devastated. Not many girls have showed me this kind of attention.[/QUOTE]
Fuck the past, make a move
[QUOTE=Evilan;34959948]I honestly don't think she's interested in you in the romantic sense of the term. You can give it a shot and ask her out, but I wouldn't take it as a shock if she said no, unless you went with her as a friend. No offense, but these kinds of interactions don't shout out "I WANT YOU."[/QUOTE]
This is irrelevant. Not every woman I approach will immediately display interest. I wouldn't be shocked, if she actually liked the guy.
today i was going to ask out this girl that I've been getting along with well recently
but when i started talking to her, she seemed really uninterested and giving one word replies and stuff
its not like she was being mean or anything, she just didn't seem to be as friendly as she normally is, probably partially because she was doing some homework at the time
but still, it unnerved me and I didn't ask her out, and I knew I'd regret not asking her out
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34961820]today i was going to ask out this girl that I've been getting along with well recently
but when i started talking to her, she seemed really uninterested and giving one word replies and stuff
its not like she was being mean or anything, she just didn't seem to be as friendly as she normally is, probably partially because she was doing some homework at the time
but still, it unnerved me and I didn't ask her out, and I knew I'd regret not asking her out[/QUOTE]
Try again when she's not doing homework, if she does it again move on?
[QUOTE=Jo The Shmo;34961820]today i was going to ask out this girl that I've been getting along with well recently
but when i started talking to her, she seemed really uninterested and giving one word replies and stuff
its not like she was being mean or anything, she just didn't seem to be as friendly as she normally is, probably partially because she was doing some homework at the time
but still, it unnerved me and I didn't ask her out, and I knew I'd regret not asking her out[/QUOTE]
Try not to over think it man, it could be her homework or really anything distracting.
Hell, she could've been just tired or had a bad day.
yeah but now i have to wait until monday
ugh should have just asked
Not sure if this is the right place to post, but it involves social circles and shit, and relationships,
Right, I have this friend, my oldest friend, who I'm going to call L, who's currently going out with this girl A. Now the two are constantly on and off and I don't trust her because she always messes with his head and shit, they have a very complicated history. At a party about a month ago, A made out with 3 other guys and somehow managed to keep it secret, or so she thought. She texted her friend R, saying that she cheated on him, and R told two people, and those two people told other people, and so on. Soon, everyone in our group knew, but wasn't meant to know, and couldn't say anything because if A found out her friend had betrayed her she'd tell people serious dirt she had on R. This has been absolutely killing me, because I feel I'm betraying him by not telling him.
Another complication is that L thinks he has his relationship under control. But in reality, she controls it entirely. He refuses to believe anything negative about his girlfriend. At his birthday, a while back, when they were between relationships, she fucked a guy in his toilet, and left the condom there, but L refused to believe it was her, despite it being very obvious, and started randomly accusing other people of doing it. A knows that she has him completely whipped, R has apparently suggested to her that he might find out, and she shrugged and said "If anyone tells him, it's just my word against theirs, who's he gonna believe"
Had a breakthrough the other day, as one of the guys she kissed at the aforementioned party was my friend's younger brother, in the year below her. Two of his friends knew this, but not about the other two guys she kissed, so it had been quietly spreading around the school. When we decided we were going to tell him, she gets there first and only tells him about the one guy, and he forgives her, but says that if it happens again, they're done. Had a lengthy conversation on facebook with him about why he shouldn't trust her, but he disregards me entirely, and tells me I should trust her. I also find out in school that she has been texting my other friend P, outright telling him she wants to ride him.
Then, today, coming home from the cinema, I found out that more people knew about the three guys, so if I tell him, it won't necessarily get traced back to R. I ring him to ask him to come out for a chat to tell him everything, but he's in A's house, so I make some bullshit excuse as to why I rang and tell him I'll talk tomorrow. R, who is inexplicably still friends with A, texts her and warns her I'm going to spill the beans, so she has some bullshit excuse prepared, for when I tell him tomorrow. I could have told him on the phone or facebook, but I thought I needed to tell him in person. I just hope that I can make him take his head out of the sand and trust me.
I know that it's a complicated, stupid story, and that I should have told him sooner, but I can't until tomorrow at least, so I'm venting here, because I'm seriously pissed off at it all.
TL;DR, first world problems.
don't worry, you're a good friend for doing that.
Damn A is a massive bitch. Why's she going out with L if all she does is fuck around with other guys? Makes no sense whatsoever
[QUOTE=1chains1;34957946]Rusty, aren't you 20 now? If so, don't you think you're a bit old to be trying to start arguments in every thread I post in? Either way, whether it be over in the creationism corner or in the chat threads, I am not going to take the time to argue with you. Have a nice day dude.[/QUOTE]
u think ur worth starting an argument over
untainted maverick qualities right there
[editline]3rd March 2012[/editline]
it truly is the resurrection
[QUOTE=Rusty100;34967773]u think ur worth starting an argument over
untainted maverick qualities right there
[editline]3rd March 2012[/editline]
it truly is the resurrection[/QUOTE]
Ok, that's nice.
Anyways back on topic, prom is coming up but to be honest I dont really see any fun in it, am I only one? The tickets are 65 dollars a piece and you pay a lot of money for something nice to wear for 45 minutes. I could have much more fun just hanging with some good friends then being in a crowded of room full of people I dont know standing awkwardly.
65 bucks is retarded expensive for a prom
[QUOTE=1chains1;34969516]Ok, that's nice.
Anyways back on topic, prom is coming up but to be honest I dont really see any fun in it, am I only one? The tickets are 65 dollars a piece and you pay a lot of money for something nice to wear for 45 minutes. I could have much more fun just hanging with some good friends then being in a crowded of room full of people I dont know standing awkwardly.[/QUOTE]
65? I'd rather hit a local pub.
Holy shit, yesterday happened something crazy. I had a date at my place with a nice girl and everything went totally smooth. Later during the night I got a call. It was the mother of my ex-girlfriend with whom I broke up 6 months ago because I left for my studies. We had some serious fights and problems an the end and the story was quite dramatic but I still loved her for a long time. We tried to stay friends but she ignored me after a while for no reason and tried everything to make me jealous with her new boyfriend. It hurt quite much.
But anyway, her mother called and was totally deranged and told me that my ex-girlfriend tried to kill herself somewhere in Germany, she was lying nearly dead in the gutter somewhere and the police found her. Then she brought her to an hospital and pumped her stomach because she took an overdose of sleeping pills. Now she is in a a psychiatric hospital for at least two weeks. Her mother asked me to talk with her over a phone, although I am not allowed to call her so I need to pretend that I am her brother so that they let me talk to her. Her mother asked me desperatly to talk to her because she never was very close with her friends, nor her family, she only put her trust into me all that time. Honestly this is quite surprising.
Since we broke up I had serious issues getting over her, those 3 years were amazing. Our break-up was heavy because from one day on she just ignored me and said that she did not gave a bloody shit about my life and our friendship. Then she had this new guy. From that point on I never talked to her again. I thought that she simply moved on and saw me different than I saw her. Well, yeah now she was half-dead and completely lost faith in the world.
The worst thing is that finally I was over her and really moved on, I was happy. But then just few days afterwards I get this call while on a date. Looks like shadows of my past are getting the better of me. I haven't talked to her in months.
Honestly I want to be there for her, but with this won't help me getting over it. This will only set me back and let me fall into my old patterns.
gimme some input here guys
i have this friend who i do like, and would like to ask out. she has just broken up with her boyfriend about a week ago, so at the moment that is COMPLETELY out of the question, because of course it's not proper, and it's just dumb.
Now there are times I think I am friendzoned (which is no biggie really, it's a win win either way). For example, last week she texted me, telling me about a siuation she was in, in which she almost let a guy she was interested in use her. That right there screams "FRIEND ZONE" to me. I don't even know what i said, but all i was being nice, but before i was going to be an asshole, my phone broke. (i was gonna say "you wouldn't have this issue if you werent so easy you know" or something)
So like a few days ago... monday i think it was, I saw her at the food store we both work at. I had a temp phone i was borrowing from my mother and that i was using. she told me to text her later, and i didnt have her number on the phone, so i went on le fb and asked her for it.
she gives it to me, and asks me to hang out tommorow. i tell her i can't i already have plans, and mistakingly word what im going to do instead of "class, x activity, y activity, quick visit to a female friend at work, and z activity in a span of 4 to 9" i accidentally word it as class 2-6, visit friend from 6 to 9.
she is obviously mad "im upset about david (ex) and this and that and blahhhhhh"
(not realizing my mistake [le top is me, le bottom is her])
[img]http://i.imgur.com/1i5H1.png[/img]
the whatever bye was one message, and the seconds one came about 30 minutes later.
also note i do not like the chick i was going to visit in such a way that i would want to date, or even just hook up with.
does bringing something like that up mean something or no? (note that this will not affect my choice in eventually asking her out. [it takes barely any effort to say 10 words so why not?])
Yesterday was my College Party and I actually met this nice girl. We shared some beer and cigarettes and had fun. Well then she just vanished with her friends. Her girlfriends just came to us and told her "come now, you're too wasted for making "new friends"" and she left.
Funny thing is she left behind her tobacco and a pack of smokes so it turn out to be a profitable evening.
[QUOTE=gerbile5;34973443]I don't even know what i said, but all i was being nice, but before i was going to be an asshole, my phone broke. (i was gonna say "you wouldn't have this issue if you werent so easy you know" or something)[/QUOTE]
Uhhhh wtf why do you plan when you're going to 'be an asshole'?
And imo what she said doesn't mean anything. She's just upset and sounds disappointed, and surprised that you're not appeasing her as she's probably used to. Tbh what she said sounded pretty spiteful/manipulative, especially the comment about the other girl you wanted to see, but what you said to her given her current situation probably came across a bit bluntly and upset her. She's most likely feeling down about her breakup and thought she could come to you as a friend for support or whatever.
[editline]4th March 2012[/editline]
[QUOTE=junker|154;34972889]Honestly I want to be there for her, but with this won't help me getting over it. This will only set me back and let me fall into my old patterns.[/QUOTE]
Man, I won't act like I can relate to you completely, but that is one shitty situation. It's a tough choice, but if you feel like worrying about her and trying to care for her again is going to start pulling you down, then it's probably a better idea to just keep moving forward. If she's suicidal there's not much you alone can do to help her, she clearly has issues larger than you.
If I were you, I'd probably still give her a call because I couldn't deal with myself if I didn't, but I would make sure to keep my guard up. The last thing you want right now, having finally, happily moved on from such a long relationship, is a suicidal ex clinging onto you, and really that's the last thing she needs as well. Be supportive so long as it isn't causing more harm than good, basically.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;34973958]Uhhhh wtf why do you plan when you're going to 'be an asshole'?
And imo what she said doesn't mean anything. She's just upset and sounds disappointed, and surprised that you're not appeasing her as she's probably used to. Tbh what she said sounded pretty spiteful/manipulative, especially the comment about the other girl you wanted to see, but what you said to her given her current situation probably came across a bit bluntly and upset her. She's most likely feeling down about her breakup and thought she could come to you as a friend for support or whatever.
-[/QUOTE]
kayz
[QUOTE=junker|154;34972889]Holy shit, yesterday happened something crazy. I had a date at my place with a nice girl and everything went totally smooth. Later during the night I got a call. It was the mother of my ex-girlfriend with whom I broke up 6 months ago because I left for my studies. We had some serious fights and problems an the end and the story was quite dramatic but I still loved her for a long time. We tried to stay friends but she ignored me after a while for no reason and tried everything to make me jealous with her new boyfriend. It hurt quite much.
But anyway, her mother called and was totally deranged and told me that my ex-girlfriend tried to kill herself somewhere in Germany, she was lying nearly dead in the gutter somewhere and the police found her. Then she brought her to an hospital and pumped her stomach because she took an overdose of sleeping pills. Now she is in a a psychiatric hospital for at least two weeks. Her mother asked me to talk with her over a phone, although I am not allowed to call her so I need to pretend that I am her brother so that they let me talk to her. Her mother asked me desperatly to talk to her because she never was very close with her friends, nor her family, she only put her trust into me all that time. Honestly this is quite surprising.
Since we broke up I had serious issues getting over her, those 3 years were amazing. Our break-up was heavy because from one day on she just ignored me and said that she did not gave a bloody shit about my life and our friendship. Then she had this new guy. From that point on I never talked to her again. I thought that she simply moved on and saw me different than I saw her. Well, yeah now she was half-dead and completely lost faith in the world.
The worst thing is that finally I was over her and really moved on, I was happy. But then just few days afterwards I get this call while on a date. Looks like shadows of my past are getting the better of me. I haven't talked to her in months.
Honestly I want to be there for her, but with this won't help me getting over it. This will only set me back and let me fall into my old patterns.[/QUOTE]
Dont go back. I learned this the hard way, she will just drop you on your head again. It happened to me, and i have not spoken a word to her since.
Its tempting and i tell myself all the time how much i want to talk to her, but you have to think logically and be concerned with yourself.
I will talk to her, her mother begged for it. I do not want to completely help her out or try to build something up. Seriously she is in a bad shape and some support would surely help. Besides I live 700 km away from her.
You are probably right but it is a bit harsh to be honest. You still can talk to people when they have troubles.
[QUOTE=Dark_Light;34973958] Man, I won't act like I can relate to you completely, but that is one shitty situation. It's a tough choice, but if you feel like worrying about her and trying to care for her again is going to start pulling you down, then it's probably a better idea to just keep moving forward. If she's suicidal there's not much you alone can do to help her, she clearly has issues larger than you.
If I were you, I'd probably still give her a call because I couldn't deal with myself if I didn't, but I would make sure to keep my guard up. The last thing you want right now, having finally, happily moved on from such a long relationship, is a suicidal ex clinging onto you, and really that's the last thing she needs as well. Be supportive so long as it isn't causing more harm than good, basically.[/QUOTE]
Thanks, it is a bit though. I will try my best to keep my guard up, but I think that I am a part of her problems. I thought she coped with our break-up but maybe she was so much hurt and at that moment in a bad mood.
But deep down inside of me I would take her back for anything, it is a heart's desire of me. Even when I approached other girls recently, I only thought of her. Everyday. I can hide it but deep down I know that I am weak when it comes to her.
I don't need love advice, I need guidance for this situation.
There's this girl who likes me. We've had sex a couple of times and I've told her that I don't want anything serious. However, there are more attractive girls who like me and I'd prefer to go out with one of them. How do I let this first girl down gently?
My friends think that I'm a player and that I'm using her. They might be right.
Well, you already told her that you do not want anything serious. There is not much more that you can explain when you are honest with her. But you could tell her that you could not feel the love or some similiar bullshit.
Or just be honest.
so having talked to my friend with the situation similar to that one, a girl being used by a guy she likes (or in my friend's case almost), why do girls complain about being used when theyre so easy to give it away? or should i say... how do you have the grounds to complain? (my friend complained all the guys she likes just wanna use her for sex.)
i mean like the solution for my friend would be dont be so easy and you wont get used as often.
[QUOTE=junker|154;34974771]I will talk to her, her mother begged for it. I do not want to completely help her out or try to build something up. Seriously she is in a bad shape and some support would surely help. Besides I live 700 km away from her.
You are probably right but it is a bit harsh to be honest. You still can talk to people when they have troubles.
Thanks, it is a bit though. I will try my best to keep my guard up, but I think that I am a part of her problems. I thought she coped with our break-up but maybe she was so much hurt and at that moment in a bad mood.
But deep down inside of me I would take her back for anything, it is a heart's desire of me. Even when I approached other girls recently, I only thought of her. Everyday. I can hide it but deep down I know that I am weak when it comes to her.[/QUOTE]
Maybe it is because i am a harsh person but this girl is going through a depression and eating disorder yet i ignore her fine. I am so tempted to talk to her but i simply cant.
And before you say dick move She did something to me that hurt so much and I am still mixed on what happened. I will probably try to see her again after school is over, but i cannot predict the future.
[QUOTE=redBadger;34975173]Maybe it is because i am a harsh person but this girl is going through a depression and eating disorder yet i ignore her fine. I am so tempted to talk to her but i simply cant.
And before you say dick move She did something to me that hurt so much and I am still mixed on what happened. I will probably try to see her again after school is over, but i cannot predict the future.[/QUOTE]
We have been together for 3 years, in that time we both made really bad mistakes. Our break-up is the cause of us both making mistakes and behaving childish. I did some bad things and she was childish at times. But now in retrospect I regret how it ended. Our relationship at the end was somewhat confusing. We broke up because I left for my studies far away and lived with another girl, besides long-distance relationships are difficult. But after our break-up I was still in the country for some weeks and we both started loving eachother like never before, we simply blent out our problems. That time was magnificent. Then I had to leave, leaving a person that you still love abruptly has a long term impact. It is not like we broke up because of some fights, but simply because distance was to great.
But I really respect you for defending your point and being consistent about it. Not like me.
Is anyone here that can hear out a poor soul?
[QUOTE=junker|154;34975039]Well, you already told her that you do not want anything serious. There is not much more that you can explain when you are honest with her. But you could tell her that you could not feel the love or some similiar bullshit.
Or just be honest.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, you're right. I just feel bad that I'm still having sex with her even though I'll move onto a different girl soon.
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